Bab 13: 13. Chapter 13
At Wal-Mart, Kate hops out of the car quickly, making it to Castle's side before he can open up the kids' doors.
She grabs his forearm. "It's a long list. Let's divide it in half, each take a kid, and meet back here. That way maybe we can get them out to the beach and wear them out."
She lifts her eyebrows at him and Castle grins back, the leonine look on his face.. Actually, *just* like a lion, who lazes around under a tree and let's the lioness come to him.
Oh, he's really perfected this, hasn't he?
And she'll come every time.
"Sounds like a perfect plan," he murmurs, leaning forward to brush her lips.
"And since Daddy made the list," she says back, turning her cheek into his for a brief moment. "Daddy gets the easy one."
"Kate-"
"Seriously. Me and Dash will crash through the whole place together."
He pulls back and gives her a look. "But it's your vacation too."
She smirks at him and strokes a quick finger down his chest. "And yours too. Let me spend time with my best boy."
He snorts at her and wraps his arm around her neck, blowing a raspberry into her cheek with a loud burst of air. She elbows him and jerks away, narrowing her eyes to keep the laughter from bubbling up.
"Watch it, mister."
"Uh-huh. I ain't afraid of you. We're still keeping score, remember?"
"So?" she shoots back, throwing open Dashiell's door as Castle moves around to Ellery's.
"That means you need me," he calls over the car, smirking.
She lifts Dash from the booster seat (he's already undone his seat belt, of course), and when her son's feet hit the ground, she looks back to Castle and lets him see the naked lust in her eyes.
He gulps.
She smirks. "Yeah, I do. Hurry back."
She grabs hold of her son's hand and shuts the door, reaching into her back pocket to make sure she's got the credit card.
She heads for Wal-Mart, leaving her husband in the dust.
The moment Kate and Dashiell step into Wal-Mart, Dash begins to fall apart.
He hangs from her hand and whines, his eyes squinting shut, dangling like a tetherball at the end of a rope, twining around her legs. Kate half-carries her four year old to the jewelry section, pulls down spiderman sunglasses from a display, and slides them onto his nose.
Dash stills, blinking. He looks out at her from behind the dark lenses, mashes them closer to his face with two hands, like he used to do as a toddler. "Can I see?"
"Yeah, mirror right there." She turns him around and guides him to the thin mirror glued to the rack. He twists his head back and forth.
"These are cool!"
"Yeah? We'll get them for you. Mommy forgot to bring yours with us. You'll have two pairs now."
Because Mommy didn't think about the fact that Wal-Mart's fluorescent lights would hurt his eyes. Mommy needs to pay attention.
"Can you hear them?" she asks him, tugging him by the hand to follow her back to the entrance, where they left the shopping cart.
"Mmm, yeah."
"What do they sound like?"
"Bugs," he says with a grin. "Sawing bugs. All night sawing."
Cicadas then. Something like that. She flicks her eyes to the lights overhead then back to her son. "And do you see them?"
"Not so much now."
"Good. Can you use your words when the noise gets bad?"
His face twists. "I try, Mommy. I do try-"
"I know, I know. I'm not mad."
Dashiell's little hand squeezes around hers; he mashes the side of his face into her thigh, tripping her. She stops in the aisle to squat down next to him, wrapping her arms around him, grateful that Rick isn't here.
Castle babies him, but she doesn't. So when Dash *does* seek her out for comfort, she can't help cradling him close, like she used to when he was a newborn and couldn't sleep. When Dash wants her attention, she can't help pouring it out.
After a moment, Kate kisses his neck, blows a raspberry like Castle did to her earlier, making Dash shriek with giggles.
"Mommy, Mommy-"
"No more sad cloud today, Dash."
"No more sad cloud," he promises, laughing again as she squeezes that spot above his knee. He jerks with a screaming laugh.
"You know I'm never mad at you for this, right, my man?" She stands up again and takes his hand. "It's not your fault. This is just how your brain works."
He sighs and trudges alongside her. "My brain is stupid."
She flicks his hand to get his attention. "No. Your brain is smart. Your brain is so smart it takes in everything, all the little things. The way the lights flicker fast, the way they hum, the people, the PA system, the carts squeaking, the cans falling off that shelf-"
"Yeah," he says softly.
"All of it. My brain doesn't do that, Dash. It doesn't think that stuff is important so it ignores it. I don't hear the lights. I don't see them flicker fast. My brain tells me that it's all the same light, that the noise isn't there."
"But your brain sees bad guys," he replies, using Castle's next line in the story they've created for their son. A story to explain why he has trouble with things sometimes.
"It does. My brain sees how bad guys work, like a flickering light. Daddy's brain-"
"Daddy's brain sees words. Words filling up a page," he grins. Dash has heard this story a lot.
Kate nods, walking him back to the empty shopping cart. She leans down and kisses his forehead in a display of affection he would have curled his nose at fifteen minutes ago. She hoists him into the basket and lets him stand there as she pushes.
Dash turns to look at her, lifting his arms to balance in the basket like he's on a surf board. "What does Ellery's brain see?"
Kate goes blank. "I don't - what do *you* think her brain sees?"
Dashiell frowns and looks over his shoulder at her, then back out to the crowded Wal-Mart. Kate can guess that the people, the wide warehouse echoes, the lights are still working like fingernails on a chalkboard for Dash.
How he can concentrate at all is beyond her. Of course, it has gotten so much better since he was littler. The therapist thinks he's slowly beginning to integrate his senses more fully, have them work with each other instead of against each other. His brain is learning how to make schemas and patterns, learning how to filter the noise. Slowly.
She swallows past the lump in her throat and keeps pushing the cart towards the cereal, first on her list.
"I think Ellery's brain sees people," Dash says suddenly.
"Oh?"
"Ella likes people."
"Kiddo, Ella doesn't like to talk to anyone. What makes you think she likes people?"
"She doesn't have to talk to them to know."
Know? "Know what?"
Dash gives her a glance out of the corner of his eye, like he does when he's overstimulated, not able to look at her directly. "Just. . .know. Everything."
Everything?
Goose bumps ripple across her skin, but that's ridiculous. Ella doesn't have ESP or anything; she's just a stubborn little girl who would rather let her brother do all the work.
Ha. Too clever by half.
"Ellery knows when I'm sad. She comes and gives me a hug."
"Oh. Yes. She's good at that."
"She knows when Daddy is sad too."
"Does she give Daddy a hug?"
"Yes."
"Ella gives good hugs," Kate smiles.
"Mommy why do people get sad?"
Oh jeez, today is going to be the Arabian Nights, isn't it? Castle's term for when Dashiell tells a thousand stories to put off bedtime as long as possible - Arabian Nights. Or when he asks questions all day long, one after another, an endless string of questioning.
Still, she's got to answer him. Ignoring the question only makes him increase in volume. He doesn't give up. "People get sad because someone is missing or dead, or they get sad because something bad happened to them, or someone hurt them."
"Do I make you sad sometimes?"
"No, baby. You never make me sad. You make me happy." She ducks forward and presses her lips to his forehead, cradling the back of his head.
He doesn't look. . .traumatized. He just looks interested in the answer, as if he's never thought of this idea before.
"Are you sad sometimes ever?"
"Sometimes. It's okay to be sad, remember? But we don't like to stay sad."
"What things make you sad?"
She shrugs and gathers a few boxes of instant mac and cheese from the end cap on the cereal aisle.
"Does not having your mommy make you sad?"
"Yes." Kate checks the list and grabs Cheerios, then hunts for Castle's Raisin Bran.
"But I make you happy."
She grins, loving his self-satisfied, puffing chest. "Yes, baby, you make me happy."
"And Ellery too."
"And Ellery." Kate adds the cereal to the basket, letting Dashiell stack it up neatly at his feet.
"And Daddy."
She chews on her lip and sees Dashiell's interested face. "Most especially your Daddy."
"Why most especially?"
"Because Daddy gave me you and Ella."
"Oh." Dashiell accepts the box of Kashi from her and stacks it too. "Did Daddy buy us?"
Kate laughs. "No. You know where babies come from."
"But I was never - Oh! You mean *I* came from. . .from that too?"
"That?"
"The swimmer and the pool."
Kate bites down hard on her lip to keep from laughing. Castle and his damn stories again. "Yes. From the. . .swimmer and the pool."
"Oh, ew."
"Ew?" Kate cuffs his ear lightly and narrows her eyes at him, grinning behind her playful irritation. "That's Mommy's pool, you brat."
Dash laughs hard and sits down. "Brat means brother."
Surprised pride flickers through her. "Yeah, baby, good job. Brat means brother in Croatian. But it sonds different."
"I 'member that."
"You did good."
"Ellery tells me brat sometimes. Cause I'm a brother. But Ellery is a sister."
"Ellery has a brother. And you have a sister, yes."
"Do you have a sister?"
"No."
"Does Daddy?"
"Nope."
"Why do I?"
She smirks, grabbing turkey hot dogs from the deli section, a huge package of lunch meat, and some cheese. "You have a sister because Mommy and Daddy wanted to give you someone to play with, to have fun with, to help. And because we love each other. And we love you. And we love Ellery."
"Why don't I have two sisters then?"
"You do have two sisters. Ellery and Alexis." A fist clenches around her heart. She's got to make sure Alexis is coming. She *has* to come. She wants Dash and Alexis, Ellery and Alexis to have that bond again, like when Alexis was in college.
Dash grabs the three packages of bread from her. "No. I mean. . .sisters to play with. Little ones. Why not two of those?"
Oh. Well. "Um. Because we thought two little kids was enough? You and Ellery."
"Enough for what?"
Damn. She will *never* get ahead of this. "Enough for our family."
"Can I have a brother?"
Oh for crying out loud. "No."
Dashiell glances at her in surprise, his mouth dropping open. Kate lifts an eyebrow at him in challenge, but he's got nothing to say to that.
Score one for Mommy.
Ella doesn't want to let go of her Totoro. Castle does the stupid thing, the easy thing, and lets her keep him with her.
"All right. In you go, Ella-bean." He lifts her into the basket seat, brushes her hair back from her face.
He keeps a paranoid eye on Toto and tries to follow his list. He keeps adding cool things like marshmallows in the shape of dinosaurs and BBQ cheese puffs and Arnold Palmer lemonade. He does grab a couple bottles of Kate's favorite wine, the 'expensive' stuff she hates for him to buy, and a bottle of good scotch.
"Dash gets a reward for leaving his seat belt on. And guess what? You get a reward for saying all those beautiful words. You told the nice lady thank you and you said Daddy and Mommy. Remember?"
She nods and grins at him.
"So. What do you want for your reward?"
She tilts her head and scrunches up her face.
"Okay, you think about it."
Ella pats Totoro.
"Yeah, you and Toto think about it."
He grabs five frozen pizzas and adds them to the cart, then scans the long aisle for frozen fish sticks. So nutritious this week. Hopefully, it won't kill them. Right? For good measure, he grabs a package of frozen green beans and tosses that in as well.
Kate usually likes those edamames; he finds them close by and adds them to the cart. A huge bag of frozen fruit. Two, just in case. Ellery pokes at the picture of the strawberries and grins.
Apparently, she approves. "You like strawberries, right? And Dash likes blueberries. Let's see if they have those. . ."
He finds frozen blueberries, piles that bag in the cart as well. "Anything else, baby girl?"
Silence of course. They are back to silence.
He grabs frozen boneless chicken, a big bag of salad, and tries to be good about going down his list. Make it back quickly.
His phone vibrates with a text and he pulls it out with one hand.
Dash wants to know if you have hot sauce and ice cream on the list.
Oops. He composes a text back.
Forgot hsauce. Ice cream is a go. If you get the hs, can you also get condiments?
And after a couple seconds, he texts again, a grin on his face.
No, Kate, I said condiments - you know, mustard, ketchup, etc. Get your mind out of the gutter.
Even though Kate's got to be on the other side of the store right now, he can almost hear her laughing.
They happen to meet up on the cookie aisle. He's not entirely surprised. Dash is clutching oreos to his chest with a grin, interesting sunglasses shielding his eyes. He must have picked those out for his reward.
Castle is pushing his cart towards the crackers, going past the two of them. Ellery is waving at her brother.
"Mm, hot mama," he whistles.
Kate narrows her eyes at him, but he leans over and steals a kiss from her as they pass.
She chuckles into his mouth, and he lifts his eyes back to the aisle in time to see an older woman giving him a strange look. Whatever. He and his wife have always done things differently.
"Did you find the hot sauce?" he calls over his shoulder.
"Got it."
"And ice cream, Daddy?" Dashiell yells.
Castle grins. "Four kinds."
"Castle!"
He leans in to Ellery and kisses her smiling face. "Too late. Right, baby? Mommy is way way too late."
Status Power Mingguan
-- Peringkat
Power 
-- Power
stone