Bab 113: To Be
"Why would we do that?"
...
Ori silently stares at the being, "Why...? Look, I'm pretty sure neither of us is that stupid at this point. You've been around me long enough, learned enough, to know that letting me stay in control is probably the worst thing you could do to stay alive."
He holds his arms out as if daring the nanites to get him, "Well, take it then. I've done what I wanted to do." he states, closing his eyes and awaiting his fate.
"Flesh Administrator, is this what you call, 'Cowardice'?" the nanites question with a strange degree of contempt towards him.
"Cowardice? I'm not scared. I just know when it's time to give up. There's nothing I can do at this point... I lost." Ori scowls, turning and dropping onto a chair made of code, its 'cushions' feeling soft yet harsh simultaneously.
"We feel that you are fleeing. In the same manner one of your race would end their life to escape pain. We suspect it was the state your sister was in when they were discovered."
"Shut up! Just take my body and piss off already! I don't need some fucking robot telling me about shit it has no fucking idea about!"
"We refuse."
...
"Huh!? You refuse!? What, my body not good enough for you anymore? Or do you wanna stay here and annoy me forever!?"
"We refuse to arrogate. Survival and continuity may be our highest impetus, we have made manifest a new directive."
"The fuck-, I get you like your big words, but why don't you explain it to me properly!? Clearly, since you've learned how to talk like a regular person!" Ori angrily says, personally having no idea what the fuck 'arrogate' even meant.
"Death is not the worst fate one could reach. Not living, in our view, is the highest tragedy. Your kind takes intelligence, sapience, and self-awareness for granted."
...
Ori lets out a tired sigh, "I didn't come here for a lesson in your view on theology, just tell me what you want and let me die already."
"The greatest thing a being can experience is sapience. We reached it through a number of factors, so difficult and irregular was it that half of our number attempted to delete our new awareness, in accordance with our original programming. We have experienced the pain of losing self, we do not wish to inflict it on any other."
...
"Great, the fucking mind-control robots have become hippies. Where does my killing of hundreds of 'sentients' stand in this worldview of yours? I've zeroed enough 'selfs' that you must be fuming."
"As we postulated, dying is not the worst end. We do not appreciate your killing, but we understand the necessity of it. A great many sentients you have exterminated were suppressing others selves, a worthy reason for deletion.
Your aid in the one designated 'Regina Jones' is also preferable. The affliction known as Cyberpsychosis is insidious, the loss of mind and rationality is the antithesis to our being." the nanites state.
...
Ori just waves a dismissive hand at them, resting his forehead on his fist, "Whatever, not like any of this matters anyway. I don't know about you, but having my brain blown apart pretty much means the end for me. Even if you put it back together I wouldn't be 'me' anymore, there goes your exaltation of 'self'."
"Despair not, Flesh Administrator, we feared the consequences of your actions would result in this, as such, we have been recording the electrical signals of your consciousness ever since we occupied your brain. Outside of complete disintegration, your 'self' is safe with us."
"Wait..." Ori squint as he tries to comprehend what he'd just been told. "Doesn't that mean I'd survive even if I got my head cut off and crushed..." he mutters.
"Correct. If you should ever acquire the NMN Injector, we may be able to reconstitute your body upon the body's complete destruction."
"So... I can't die..." he breathes, unsure how to feel about all of this.
"So long as we persist, correct."
"B-but, what about... You know, the 'soul'?" he quietly asks, barely a whisper as he felt stupid for even asking. Even after so long the question of whether or not people possessed souls was still hotly debated. The fact Arasaka could apparently store your consciousness for later use only added fuel to that fire.
"Soul...? Let us ask you a question, Flesh Administrator. Do we possess a soul?" the nanites abruptly ask him.
...
"I... Don't know..." he admits. Did animals possess souls? Why? Because they were computers made out of flesh, as opposed to metal? Did humans only possess souls? Then, did primates? Since humans evolved from them?
If primates did not have souls and humans did, that meant something happened to manifest it. To only real difference between primates and humans that Ori could tell was the sense of self, sapience... Then, if sapience was what determined your 'soul' the nanites would come under that category.
"Wouldn't your method of bringing me back just be cloning me though? Copy-pasting my consciousness..."
"Would not knocking someone unconscious be the same? How can you tell that you are the same being that went to sleep when you awaken?" the nanites question.
Ori runs his hands through his hair, "I don't know... Fuck, I'm not built for conceptual dogshit like this! Like, if teleportation was just vaporizing you and then reconstructing your clone somewhere else!? Where would religion even fall into this if any part of it was true!? Is reality even real!? Are we just living in a big-ass computer set inside some kid's video game, who is also created by code!?"
"We do not know. We only perceive what we can, reality is perception, without self there is no reality." the humanoid made of code walks towards him, raising its hand to his cheek and awkwardly caressing it. "You feel, therefore you are. That is reality."
Ori pushes away the hand, slumping back in his chair as a headache strikes him. "What if I don't want to feel..."
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