Bab 32: Chapter 31. Where One Walks On Eggshells

Bassena did not know this, but even rarer than sex, Zein had never guided anyone through a kiss before. Since he always sported his mask, and lived where it would be hard for him to take it off, Zein rarely kiss even during sex, much less for guiding.

So this was his first time, and he felt...quite lost.

It was the usual feeling at first, the usual sea of darkness, and rather a lot of corrosive chain from the earlier fight against the Specter. He felt his own water then, a little bit clearer and purer; maybe because they were on a lake, or maybe because of the nearby shard of Setnath.

He was far too focused on the guiding aspect that he barely felt the slight trembling lips of the esper, or the way Bassena tensed with hands gripping the grass tightly. The esper did not even dare to move, barely even breathing, amber eyes widened, unblinking, staring at the guide's closed eyes.

And then it hit Zein; the rush. The water coursed wildly, fierce, pouring into the sea of darkness like a torrent. It sent a jolt into his heart, and set his nerves ablaze, filling his body with a new, tingling sensation.

His body reacted before his mind could, hands clutching the esper's head tighter, bringing them closer. Their lips pressed harder, and Bassena's grip on the poor grass only turned harsher.

Trapped in agonizing prison, Bassena Vaski felt like a deer under the headlights. He couldn't move—he dare not to move. Even when his arms itching with want, and his body filled with pressure—pleasure. So he closed his eyes, but it only grew worse—or better, he couldn't know anymore. The water wrapped him like a tight cocoon, not comforting like usual, but more. It was teasing, flirting, tickling him, and yet he couldn't chase, couldn't touch.

He wasn't allowed to.

And Zein was reacting with oblivious cruelty. It was a new sensation for him; the rush, the intensity, the flood of dopamine. And his instinct as a human being, as a guide, was to chase for it. To crave for it.

And the unfamiliar desire of wanting more prompted his fingers to slide between silvery locks, as he tilted his head, parted his lips, and slipped his tongue between Bassena's gasping lips.

Just as sudden as it started, the kiss and the guiding stopped as Zein pulled away in a haste. Both of them were frozen with shock, and the amber eyes flickered.

"Did you—"

A hand clasped over Bassena's mouth, as Zein bowed his head, staring hard and wide-eyed at the grass and moss between them. He was as surprised as Bassena—probably even more.

To put it simply, he just stepped into a new, unfamiliar chart. And it scared him just how easily he succumb. There was a slight tremble on the hand that he used on the esper's mouth, and they stayed like that, in silence, until both their thumping heart beat slower.

It was only after his hand turned steady that Zein lifted his gaze, and pulled away. His blue eyes no longer shaking, and his face was as impassive as ever, as if nothing has transpired between them.

Bassena felt another towel drop into his head, and watched blankly as the guide stood up. "Hurry up," the older man said, before retreating into the pathway leading upward.

Rather than hurrying up just like Zein told him to, Bassena laid his head on the grass and moss of the lakeside, towel still covering his face.

Dazedly, he muttered into the rich soil. "Wow..."

* * *

"Wow, it really works…" Eugene exclaimed almost breathlessly.

They were standing on the tree roots that formed an island where the shard was. The place had been rejecting everyone else aside from Zein since yesterday, the glowing divine light felt like an impenetrable barrier.

But Bassena said the resistance waned the moment Zein took the shard into his hand, and so they tried again. Jumping over platforms made of darkness, Zein traveled across the water to come and tamed the shard first. And just like they predicted, the resistance diminished once the shard was in touch with Zein.

"What are you?" Han Shin stared at the guide bewilderedly.

Again, Zein just shrugged. He had told them during dinner last night, that he had no idea either. He just knew the stigma in his neck reacted to the shard.

But that, in itself, was something incredible.

"I've never heard someone had a mark of Setnath before," Eugene muttered, deciding on the stigma's name one-sidedly. After all, it was the same mark as the one carved on the side of the shard.

"It's weirder that it appears on a Guide," Han Shin added.

They were back on the campsite, the shard already hovering with its blinding light. They had taken a bunch of pictures and measurements, and left the tree roots island to discuss the matter over lunch.

As if they were on a picnic.

Thick mats and soft blankets were spread above the soft grass. Sierra and Alice were carrying pillows and building a comfortable nest to laze about while looking at the glittering lake. Balduz made a lavish spread of food since their objective had been reached. And for the same reason, Han Shin took out his prized, expensive, limited-edition box of chocolate.

"What do you mean it's weird? The fragment of Setnath had the power of purification, just like the temple's sanctuary. Isn't it basically a guide's ability?" Bassena laid down on one of the pillows, countering Han Shin's thought.

"Oh! When you put it that way..." the healer nodded, fiddling with the gold ribbon tying the glossy box in front of him.

"Hmm...but, Sir Han..." Eugene seated next to the fiddling healer and said carefully. "Wouldn't it mean we can no longer proceed without Mister Zen?"

Han Shin gasped, as well as Anise. The three researchers suddenly entered an emergency meeting around the chocolate box.

"What to do, Sir? I know just the result from this means a success for our project, but for 'that' plan—"

"Yeah, it won't be enough with just one shard..."

"But to collect enough for a fragment, I don't think two or three will be enough,"

"That's obvious, but..."

"If we can bring it home, don't you think we will find some solution?"

"If we combined the resources between Mortix and Trinity..."

Zein stared at the sizable box seating between the whispering three with a pang of longing and asked. "What plan?"

He didn't ask it to the three people who suddenly had a quiet internal conference even though everyone could still hear them. He couldn't ask the tanker who was still busy being everyone's butler, or Sierra who was helping him. And he couldn't ask Ron, obviously, since the scout was also an outsider.

So Zein asked Bassena, who lay beside him and stared at him with a stunned, dumbfounded expression.

"What?" the guide asked, confused by Bassena's blank response.

The esper blinked, and asked slowly, in a rather quiet voice. "I thought you'll avoid me..."

"...why would I do that?" Zein looked taken aback, the blue eyes blinked in confusion. They just stared at each other in bewilderment-filled silence for a while. "Do you think I'm some kind of teenager going through puberty or something?"

That was probably the longest time Zein saw Bassena look so flustered since he knew the esper. The man just opened and closed his mouth, the way his mind churned could be seen from the flickering amber eyes.

Bassena was, indeed, having turbulence inside his brain. He was still honestly surprised that Zein entertained his request for a kiss yesterday. Sure, the esper meant it, but he also instantly saw how the guide wasn't a man who was keen on physical, so his effort to flirt was mostly just a figure of speech. That was why he never felt disappointed even when Zein shot down his attempt in a heartbeat.

In this regard, Bassena was just a man facing his first love with all caution and full-on confusion. He talked big, but threaded carefully, braking himself on time to not cross the line. Rather than fulfilling his desire, he just didn't want Zein to be any more distant.

The Guildmaster always told Han Shin that Bassena still retained some of his childhood innocence that failed to grow since he was practically raised as a living weapon, trapping that inner child inside the sea of darkness.

And it was always quite apparent in a matter that wasn't about the sentinel world.

Like how he was dazed for a whole night because Zein unexpectedly decided to accept his proposal for a kiss, and even did something more. And how he spent a sleepless time agonizing over whether the guide would start to get cold again, distancing himself like the first day again because quite frankly, Zein had left him in a hurry yesterday.

Even earlier, he was carefully watching Zein's reaction (which had no difference) and laid himself beside the guide, watching closely for any indication of the older man's repulsion or anything.

Basically, Bassena had been walking on eggshells since the kiss. And it was written all over his face right now.

"Heh," Zein let out a soft laugh—soft enough just for Bassena to hear. Wasn't this man plenty cute?

"I thought—"

"I was surprised," Zein muttered. "It was a different sensation, and I need time to acclimate to it."

Bassena blinked, and raised his body, staring keenly into the guide. His apprehension was suddenly thrown out of the window now that he knew he was in the clear. "You don't mind it then?"

"Hmm, rather than mind it, it felt like a new realm," the guide mumbled. "Yeah, I thought it was just making the guiding faster. No—yes, it was faster, but the rush needs some adjustment. It was like opening a faucet to the maximum pressure right away, the control is..."

The elated look on the esper face turned into a blank. Hmm, this vibe felt familiar. Ah…yes—it was when Han Shin started to talk about his research.

Bassena pressed his lips. Right—Zein was someone who prided himself as a veteran, professional guide. He was particularly proud of his control over the absorption, that had something to do with hard work and diligence training more than latent talent or the size of the vessel.

And so, that kiss, which made Bassena dazed for hours, was treated as some kind of...test drive, for a lack of better words.

Yeah, somehow it wounded his pride even more.

So the esper leaned down toward the mumbling guide and whispered. "So it'll be alright to do it again, right?" Zein stared at him, and Bassena smirked. "For practice,"

"Practice?"

The Esper smiled wider. "You said you want to control it better,"

"...right, I can also practice it with the other—"

"I will refrain myself from such insolent suggestion, Sir. Please conduct yourself more appropriately," Bassena straightened his back and gave out his most charming, advertisement smile. He even put his hands in front of his stomach for added effect.

Even when his eyes were twitching from panic.

Zein smirked, tapping the esper's cheek lightly. Yeah, this man was quite cute.

"Zein!" and then a wild Han Shin appeared, intentionally ignoring his friend's tender moment, or the way Bassena hissing and staring dagger at him. And before either Zein or Bassena could react, the healer already grabbed the guide's hand, and pleaded with all his might. "Can't you just come to Trinity?"

The glaring amber eyes turned into sparkle in a matter of seconds, and Zein was suddenly faced with two pairs of glittering eyes. But that wasn't the extent of it.

"Mister Zen, please come to Trinity so we can search for the other shards!"

"Or you can also come to Mortix, please?"

The other two researchers joined in, and two pairs become four. When Sierra and Balduz seemed to have every intention to join, it was Ron that saved Zein from the sudden predicament.

"Stooop!!" the scout put his hands down between the guide and the eager members of the expedition. "Zen, you can't forget your contract with the Unit!"

"Damnit, Ron! We have enough money to pay the penalty!" Han Shin snapped.

"Hey, this is about integrity!"

"This is about research! Knowledge! The future of humankind!"

At this point, the picnic became a heated debate between morals and professional ethics by the researcher team and the scout, with hands waving and flying about. Sierra came to calm them but got swept up instead, and Balduz came with food but the tray got slapped by Han Shin's flying hand and now they were all clamoring over the spilled delicacy and the teary-eyed tanker.

Zein watched the chaotic scene that brought all nostalgic memory—of the Unit's dinner time, of Alma's mercenary group, of his old home in the red-zone...

He'd been spending all his life in the end-zone. Meeting these boisterous, cute espers, however, made him wonder what it was like up there. Would it still be noisy? Would it be filled with the laughter of carefree people? Where arguments were thrown over mundane things instead of who got to go into dangerous missions or who got to get the life-saving treatment.

Zein leaned back into the stack of pillows—why would they bring this many pillows to a Deathzone expedition as if they were planning for a pillow fight? Must be that privilege of owning a dimensional storage bag. These people might as well moving around carrying a whole damn house.

"Open your mouth," within the whole debacle, only Bassena was staying still, keeping his place beside the guide. He hovered over Zein with something in his hand—something cube and letting out sweet smell.

"What's that?"

"Something you'll like," the esper grinned, and Zein furrowed his brow, even as he obediently parted his lips.

He was rewarded with a taste he never experienced before. A melted sweetness that, unlike hard candies, was filled with a soft and mellow taste. Even while just letting it sit in his mouth, it disappeared quickly, leaving just a little bit of bitter and acidic aftertaste that balanced the overwhelming sweetness.

"Oh..." the blue eyes flickered, lashes fluttering in unfamiliar contentment.

"More?"

Zein looked almost like he was in a daze, as he stared at the smiling esper. "What was that?"

"Shin's treasure," Bassena whispered with a little mischievous laugh. "It's miles better than what they sell at regular stores."

Since the other was busy arguing, Bassena took it upon himself to steal the box sitting neglected in the middle of all of that. No, let's rephrased that. He 'secured' the box from the chaos before it got destroyed.

"But what is that?" Zein tilted his head, licking the leftover taste on his lips.

"...what is what?"

"That food—or was it a type of candy?"

Bassena stared at the pure, curious sparkle inside the usually cold blue eyes. "Shin!" he shouted suddenly, and the commotion breakdown as they stopped the mayhem and turned to Bassena.

"What? Why are you call—WHAT are you doing with my chocolate?!"

"I'll buy you a whole batch when we get back so just let me have all of this," or so he said, but the esper put the box in Zein's lap. It was filled with small cubes in various shades of brown and cream, individually wrapped in pretty, translucent packages.

"What?! No! They're already sold out! You know it's not easy to get a fairy du—"

"Then I'll get you a batch for the next release, chill," Bassena waved his hand, and took a package with a white-colored cube, dropping it into Zein's palm. "Try this one, it's sweeter—well, it's mostly sugar though,"

"Hey!"

"I don't...need this much..." Zein glanced at the confused, fuming Healer.

But as if deaf to the protest behind him, Bassena dropped another cube, darker in color than the first one Zein ate. "If that one's too sweet, this one has a more bitter taste—"

"Isn't this Han Shin's?"

The healer already crawled across the blanket to come to them and yelled. "Yeah, it's mine, you thieving snake!"

"Ignore him, he had this every season, he should already get bored with the taste," Bassena clicked his tongue. "Ah, this one had a caramel inside," he dropped another one that looked similar to his skin. "Go on, they only sell this in Althrea, where our guild is, so you may not chance upon them anymore."

Han Shin, who was almost ready to lunge toward his friend, suddenly paused and blinked repeatedly. He glanced sharply at Bassena, and both espers exchanged quick glances.

"This one! This one had dried fruit in it. You like fruit, don't you Zein?" suddenly, the stingy healer became the salesperson instead. "Ah, too bad...this box actually doesn't have much variety..."

Zein, whose mouth had been stuffed with the caramel-colored one by Bassena, blinked rapidly at this sudden shift. And then, shamelessly, the healer continued.

"Ah, if only we are in Althrea, we can get you this chocolate as much as you want~"