Bab 4: Trick of the Mind
"Tell me your name," I asked him like I was a police officer.
"I'm Cedric."
"So why are we hiding? And better tell me the whole story."
"I was not allowed to go outside this house."
"Uh-huh," I said, sounding bored because he was not saying the details I needed.
"I tried going out last week. And that did not turn out well for me. I was so bored, so I went out of the house and rode a taxi when three men went inside it and then robbed me."
"Wait. What?"
"They did not harm me. The robbers threw me out of the cab near the mall. And since I was already there, I went in. But since I no longer had any money left, I called my younger cousin to pick me up. I told one of the staff that I could not find my phone. She was kind enough to help me. But after that, it was hell for me."
"Hold on. Why did you not fight back? Wait! Do not answer that. You probably do not know how to fight, or you knew you could die because you know what was on their mind, right?"
"Partly."
"What do you mean partly? Are you telling me you can fight back? But you did not want to?"
"Well," he was scratching his head. "They needed the money badly, so I just let them have it. Besides, they did not mean any harm. They were just desperate. They also let me go easily."
It would be more logical if he could not fight because he does not know how. And maybe because he is gay and is not interested in self-defense.
"I am not gay," he clarified.
I almost laugh because his reaction can change instantly from being casual to serious. He was so animated and so easy to read.
Is that the downside of a mind-reader? To not be able to hide what they were thinking or feeling?
He seemed enlightened.
"You know… I never thought of it that way. That was a good observation."
"I said stop it."
"Come on! How can I stop hearing what other people are thinking about me? I could not pretend I am deaf, you know."
"Cover your ears next time you are around with someone."
"Why not stop thinking anything about me instead?"
I could not respond.
"See? It's hard, right?"
I no longer know what to think about him at that moment.
And I realized it was easy not to think about him if I switched to my self-centered side.
"What do I have to do to get out of here?"
"You want to get rid of me, don't you?"
"Yes."
"That was an honest answer. But if I let you get out, my cousins will see you. And that is not very good for you. Or for me. They hate tresspassers. And they do not trust anyone easily."
"Understandable, but if I explain—"
"If you explain, they will not believe you. Especially now that you know about my ability."
"Why?"
"Why do you think I could not leave this place?"
I thought about it for a while.
Then I thought of a possibility about what he was trying to tell me.
"Oh, my God!" I gasped but instantly covered my mouth with my hand. "Were you involved in a crime?!"
"I find it entertaining that you have a very active imagination. But no, I am not the one involved in any crime or illegal things you can think of."
"So there are people here involved in a crime."
"Yes."
"Then… are you… a prisoner here?" I hesitantly asked while lowering my hand.
"I guess you can say that."
Again, I was shocked by his statement. But looking at him, people may imprison him for different reasons. He seemed innocent. But I never doubt that anyone was incapable of things they thought they would never do.
Being a criminal has nothing to do with physical appearance. It's a mental state.
"Will you stop insulting me? I'm not a psychopath."
Now, he seemed hurt.
"Sorry. I could not help but be blunt in my thoughts sometimes."
"Right."
We froze when we heard those footsteps again. It was coming near the stock room. We crouch to make ourselves smaller. And to hide any shadows that might give us away.
It was the most deafening silence.
I knew I had done nothing wrong. And that I could try to escape if I wanted to. But as I glanced sideways, I saw that this person was sincerely worried.
I could not bear to leave him behind to whoever we needed to avoid. It was stupid. I know.
But the question was, would I want to get involved in his situation? Or, I might still be able to avoid it.
The doorknob moves and makes a sound, softly at first. But the person behind the door got irritated to find it locked. Somebody also leaned in through the dusty glass windows. We hid below a wooden table, our shadows concealed well. It took several seconds before the person searching for us walked away.
It was only after a minute that we finally inhaled and exhaled deeply. We knew we were safe for now.
"What are the crimes those other people in this house got involved in?"
"I don't know. My cousins would not tell me about it directly. They are both good at hiding their thoughts about me."
"Both? So there's two of them?"
"Yes."
"Why are you being honest with me?"
Cedric stared at me. "Because I wanted you to trust me."
"Why?"
"I guess it's because I wanted to experience being trusted by someone and trusting someone for a change," he seriously said.
I sighed.
"Then, let me ask you this. Would you prefer someone honest or someone you can trust?"
"What do you mean? Doesn't those come hand in hand? If you trust someone, that is because he was being honest."
"Not really. No. If someone would be honest, and this person can say his intent to kill you, would you trust that person was not serious?"
"Okay, what's with this question? Are you testing me?" Cedric asked with an awkward smile on his face.
In a way, yes, I was testing him. He was asking for too much without realizing it. And I do not like being confused or feeling unsure where I stand. So, again, I asked him.
"So which one would you prefer?"
"I really need to pick one?"
"Yes. Just pick one."
"Then, I prefer someone honest."
"Why?"
"Because I don't like it when I don't know what's in someone else's mind. I hate guessing. So, if anyone has something to say, I prefer hearing it directly."
"I see. Yet when I told you I could not help you and I'd go away, you wouldn't let me."
Cedric reacted as if I slapped him.
"Err… That's because I'm desperate now…" Cedric said while being embarrassed.
"So… what you're saying is… you'd rather trust anyone now because of the current situation?"
"Hey, don't make me sound like a terrible person."
"I'm not. And I don't think you're a brat who would whine when you do not get what you want," I replied with controlled calmness.
He asked for honesty.
I would gladly give my version of it.
"I only wanted to be clear that we are still strangers. We're not obligated to protect or even help each other."
It was easier to be honest or even rude to a total stranger. Think of those who can be mean when someone makes an error. It was not about pointing out who was wrong and who was right. It is a clear statement. Some prefer to be pleasant only to the selected few they usually encounter.
Was I making this statement just now?
Yes.
If there is another reason why I do not want to be around people for so long, it is because sometimes they leave me with no other choice. And I know myself well enough to be wary of this situation. I need to put up a wall if I wish to protect myself.
Again, selfish or selfless? I do not wish to choose the latter.
Unfortunately, I was mistaken to think I had been given a choice in the first place.
Status Power Mingguan
-- Peringkat
Power 
-- Power
stone