Bab 8: 7th Dilemma
AKI
"WHERE the fuck do you think you're touching?" inis na mura ko kay Jirou nang minasahe nito ang aking likuran matapos siyang pumasok sa opisina ko ng walang paalam.
"I am touching your butt," pilosopo naman n'yang tugon at pinagpatuloy ang kanyang ginagawa, not minding that I was busy finding some liquid Omega suppressants.
"Kapag nabasag ang mga bote dito ihahampas ko ang mga bubog sa pagmumukha mo," inis kong banta sa kanya pero hindi natinag si Jirou.
"Aki—"
"Stop being so familiar with me! We're not even friends!" pasinghal kong putol sa kanya. "I never gave you the permission to call me by my given name!"
"But I like calling you 'Aki'," katuwiran naman n'ya at bahagya akong idiniin sa shelf kung saan ko tinatago ang mga liquid form suppressants at iba pa.
"Ngh!" impit kong pakli at siniko siya. "Get away from me, you pervert!"
"Oh? Why are you so hasty? You act like an Omega who just made a pair with some Alpha," mangha n'yang turan at kumulo ang dugo ko.
"Fuck off, Jirou. Oras ng trabaho ngayon. If you really want to do it then go find someone else!" buska ko sa kanya.
Napangisi naman si Jirou sa kanyang narinig at mas lalo akong idiniin sa shelf. "This is the first time that you denied me. Did you start to have feelings towards your Omega secretary?" interesado n'yang saad at napasinghap ako dahil papaano n'ya nalamang Omega si Chihiro?
Ngumisi naman ako at sinadyang angasan ang tono ng pananalita ko. "What the fuck are you saying?"
"You never learn," he said and I jolted to that. "You already failed once but now you plan to do the same thing? Are you an idiot?"
Marahas ko naman siyang itinulak palayo at nang magkaroon na ng distansiya ang mga katawan namin ay sinampal ko si Jirou habang nakasimangot ako at nangingilid ang ilang butil ng luha sa tagiliran ng mga mata ko. "Stop talking as if you know me that well," medyo nanginginig ang boses kong saad.
Napatawa na lamang ng pagak si Jirou bago itinaas ang pareho n'yang mga kamay sa ere. "Okay. I surrender. Just call me if you need something," aniya at pagkatapos ay umalis.
Inis ko namang naisuklay ang kamay ko sa aking buhok bago inayos ang suot kong salamin at huminga nang malalim.
「Am I that easy to read?」 Nababahala kong wari sa isipan.
"Izumi-sensei!" Kamuntikan ko namang mabitawan ang hawak kong bote nang biglang pumasok si Chihiro nang 'di man lang kumakatok.
"Shit! Don't you know how to knock?! Geez…" asik ko sa kanya at napakamot naman ng ulo ang baliw.
"Pasensiya na po, Sensei." Medyo nahihiya nitong pagpapaumanhin saka tumikhim at umayos. "Ah. Sensei, may bisita ka po pala."
"What? Who?" Magkasalubong ang mga kilay ko namang tanong.
Hindi nagsabi si Kicchan na bibisita siya ngayon because lately, he's been so busy with Yuu-chan so who could it be? One of my sex friends? No. I already turned them all down and only Jirou kept in touch with me.
"It's me." Halos mangilabot naman ako nang muli kong marinig ang isang pamilyar na boses at mabilis na uminit ang ulo ko nang sumulpot ang aswang na si Ryuichi.
"Oh, it is you," sarkastiko at walang kainte-interes kong baling sa kanya.
Kumunot naman ang noo ni Ryuichi sa naging reaksiyon ko. "What a nice way to greet me," sarkastiko din n'yang saad.
"Chihiro, you can go now," sabi ko sa baliw at namumula ang mga pisngi naman itong tumango saka lumabas.
"That guy is still here?" usisa ni Ryuichi na sinundan ng tanaw si Chihiro.
"Regular secretary ko na siya." I said before crossing my arms. "Well, what brings you here?" baling ko na ngayon sa kanya.
Napangisi naman ang asungot bago nagsalita, "Is it really bad for me if I told you that I wanted to see how you were doing?" he asked.
"Huh?" I exclaimed while raising an eyebrow. "Go die," pabalang kong utos sa kanya.
「Si Okuda Ryuichi kukumustahin ako? Ha ha! Baka sa libing ko, 'ka mo! This guy literally hates me and I hate him, too. We're fucking even.」
"Seriously, Kazuki sent me here," pag-aamin naman n'ya bago pinaunlakan ang sarili n'yang umupo sa bakanteng plastik na upuan. "He's worried."
"Kicchan always worries about me," depensa ko naman.
"I know," he said at bigla ko na lamang naalala na ang kumag na ito nga pala ang nagsabi kay Kicchan na may pagtingin ako sa kanya.
"You!" I suddenly uttered and pointed a finger at the bastard. "How did you know that I was in love with Kicchan?! Since when did you notice?!" pag-iiba ko ng usapan at nabuwisit ako nang ngumisi ang tanga.
"Why bring that up? Did you chicken out when Kazuki told you, huh… four-eyed freak?" nagmamalaki nitong turan at mas lumawak ang kanyang ngisi.
"You're still calling me that?!" gigil ko namang singhal sa kanya.
"Because you are," giit n'ya.
"You are the freak one! Kung matagal mo na palang nahalata bakit kay Kazuki mo pa sinabi?!" buska ko sa kanya.
"Because I felt that you would never tell him. You are pretty obvious, you know? When it's about Kazuki you are damn soft and supports him no matter what but you are entirely different towards other people. I easily understood but I didn't say anything because I somehow wanted to see if you would try to put a fight but you didn't. I was really disappointed," mahaba nitong pagpapaliwanag.
"What are you, a kid?!" I shouted. "I knew right away that I had no chance," I said but this time my voice was calmer.
"That's all?" he uttered in a bored tone.
"No!" I quickly denied and continued. "Pursuing an Omega who already met his fated pair is suicide."
"You knew him way earlier than me. You had all the chance," he said.
"But he was deeply hurt by his past relationship!" giit ko at naikuyom ang mga kamay ko. "Kahit kailan ay hindi ko ginustong makuha ang loob n'ya sa ganoong paraan."
"Oh? So, you're a romanticist?" tukso naman nito sa akin at natawa pa.
"Fuck, I am not!" mariin ko namang tanggi. "Stop laughing or I'll kick your ass out!" pananakot ko pa sa kanya but as expected, he wasn't even moved by my words.
Ryuichi was really a determined Alpha who never lets go of something that was already in his grip. We, Alphas, were supposed to be like that as early as three years old. I did have my own pride as an Alpha but not that strong as Ryuichi's. I wonder if my upbringing had something to do with my incompetence.
「Was it because I had everything someone could ever wish for but never really got what I really wanted?」 I wondered.
"Whatever. Since nakausap na kita at mukhang buhay ka pa naman ay aalis na ako. I hate looking at your face for too long. It makes me sick," aniya Ryuichi bago tumayo at inayos ang kanyang sarili.
I instantly flinched to what he said at inis siyang sinagot, "You know, I would be really glad if I saw you get plowed in the ass one day," pag-iiba ko ng usapan.
"Nail me," pabalang n'yang tugon sabay binuksan ang pinto.
"Fuck…" mahina kong mura.
"Be more honest with yourself," pahabol na pakli ni Ryuichi nang nakangiti kaya napatitig na lamang ako sa kanya. "I will take care of Kazuki and Yuuki with my whole life. It's about time that you look after yourself already, Izumi Aki," he said before finally leaving.
「Look after myself, huh? That was the first time that he called me by my name,」 natatawa ko na lang isip-isip at hindi ko na namalayang napaluhod na pala ako sa sahig sabay tinakpan ang mukha ko ng aking mga kamay nang bumuhos na lamang ang mga luha ko.
"I'm so pathetic."
━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━
Night came so fast.
"Maraming salamat, Izumi-sensei," nagagalak na pagpapasalamat ng isang matandang babae na may inaalalayang batang babae na medyo nanghihina.
"Walang anuman. Just make sure that your granddaughter takes her medicines," nakangiti ko namang paalala sa matanda.
Tumango naman siya at medyo naluha pa. "Ang buong akala ko talaga ay may mangyayari nang masama sa apo ko."
"As long as she have the medicine malalayo siya sa gulo. Although Omegas who experience their heats as early as twelve is a rare case. She must be pretty shocked," pagpapaliwanag ko naman.
"Naku! Iyak siya nang iyak, Sensei. Napakabata pa ni Yuri-chan para magdusa nang ganito," umiiyak na turan ng matanda.
"I know," sang-ayon ko habang nakangiti nang mapait.
「Chihiro and his twin brother experienced the same fate and Chihiro was suffering his whole life… feeling the remorse of not helping his beloved twin,」 I thought to myself at palihim na napasilip kay Chihiro. Nasa labas na kasi kami nag-usap ng matanda dahil pauwi na ito at magsasara na rin kami pagkatapos. I wonder if he could hear us talking.
"Maraming salamat ulit, Sensei. Pasensiya na sa abala. Kanina ka pa dapat nagsara pero natagalan pa dahil sa amin," ani matanda at mabilis naman akong umiling.
"It's okay. Really," depensa ko at muli na naman n'ya akong pinasalamatan bago sila tuluyang umalis. Pagkaalis ng mag-lola ay kaagad kong nilapitan si Chihiro. "Thanks for staying behind," sabi ko sa kanya at nagliwanag naman ang mukha ng tanga.
"Anytime, Izumi-sensei!" ngiting-aso n'yang pakli at parang nakita kong mas lalong kuminang ang palibot n'ya. Chihiro still freaks me out when he does that but he was consistent so I kind of got used to it.
"Anyway, pwede ka nang umuwi," pag-iiba ko ng usapan sabay dinukot ang susi ng clinic na nakatago sa bulsa ng aking pantalon.
"Um… Sensei?" Chihiro uttered softly.
"What?" nakataas ang isang kilay kong baling sa kanya.
"Suki desu!" namumula ang mga pisnging sabi nito.
I was taken aback by his sudden attack again and unconsiously blushed and averted my eyes from him. "You, idiot," I whispered and gritted my teeth.
「How can I possibly treat this huge ogre as my ordinary secretary after what happened to us? I am still uncertain of my feelings but I didn't want to take him for granted. I can't…」
Just when Chihiro was about to talk again, biglang sumulpot ang buwisit na si Jirou galing sa opisina nito habang nakangisi. "You're still here?" inis kong tanong sa kanya.
"Yeah. I had to clean my office thoroughly," Jirou explained in a casual tone before looking at Chihiro's direction. "Hey there." Tumango lang si Chihiro bilang sagot at nahuli ko pa itong nag-iwas ng tingin, tanda na nailang ito sa pagkausap ni Jirou sa kanya. "Wanna grab a drink with me?" biglang yaya ni Jirou sa akin at pareho kaming nagulat ni Chihiro.
"But—"
"C'mon, we haven't done it in a while. I feel lonely," nakangiti nitong putol sa akin, sounding really creepy.
Prantik naman akong napalingon kay Chihiro na umasim ang ekspresiyon ng mukha sa sinabi ni Jirou pero nagkunwari itong walang pakialam. I knew he was just trying to be polite towards Jirou since he was older.
"I don't want to," tanggi ko.
Jirou then walked towards me at harap-harapan akong hinipo sa akin likuran bago ako hinila palapit sa kanya, intentionally bumping our private parts. I felt his hardness down there and was pissed off to see that he was still able to act normally.
"Sige na. I'll be gentle tonight. I promise," he whispered to my ear and it brought a tingling sensation to my body.
"Arisawa-san, sa tingin ko ay ayaw ni Sensei sumama sa 'yo," biglang singit ni Chihiro nang mapuna n'yang hindi ako ganadong sumang-ayon kay Jirou.
Tinapunan naman ni Jirou si Chihiro ng matalim na tingin bago sinabing, "Mind your place, brat." Awtomatikong napalunok si Chihiro at halatang nainis sa itinuran ni Jirou.
"Leave my secretary alone, Arisawa," inis kong sita kay Jirou.
"Only if you come with me tonight," kondisyon nito.
Kahit na labag sa akin, sumang-ayon na lamang ako. "Fine! Let's go."
"That's my Aki," nakangising turan ni Jirou at binitawan ako.
"Pero, Izumi-sensei—!"
"It's okay, Chihiro. I'll be fine. Go home and rest," putol ko kay Chihiro. I saw him make a sad face but I had no choice. Even if I wanted to, I can't be with him. Naunang naglakad palabas si Jirou at sumunod naman ako sa kanya.
"Sensei…" Chihiro softly called out. His voice already trembled, halatang naiyak na ito.
I stopped for a moment and slightly turned my head towards him. "Thank you for your hard work," sabi ko bago nagpatuloy sa paglalakad.
Chihiro didn't reply but I felt guilty for showing him a side of me that I didn't want him to know. Until now, I never really cared how people saw me or what they thought of me. Chihiro was the first to make me feel uneasy like I was cheating or something. I shouldn't be feeling guilty because we didn't have anything special. So why?
Why did I feel hurt when I caught a glimpse of him crying as he watched me disappear from his sight?
「to be continued」
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