Bab 57: S2E57 - All Quiet
The past few days have been quiet. Even with the doubled patrols. Hershel seems to be growing rather tired of the fact that his house seems to be turning into a military fortress, so I'd rather start now than later clearing out the prison. Not to mention it's September 7th, so fall is about to get started. I'd rather we have an actual roof over our head than cars and tents. If nothing happens by next week, we'll start clearing out the prison.
Speaking of Hershel, the man in question has called me to speak with me. We stand on his porch, looking over his property. The sun slowly rising behind the trees, painting the mist flowing between them a light orange. He speaks to me in a calm voice,
"Miss Penny. I don't mean to sound rude or anything, but I would prefer if you and your group would hit the road soon. Havin' this many folks here will paint a target on our backs 'bit more than it already has. And I heard about that fight you picked a few days ago. It seems as though you'll be bringin' more trouble with you."
I listen to him, nodding along as he speaks. It would be a lie to say I don't feel at least a little annoyed at what he's saying, but he's an old conservative man. Very stubborn and set in his ways. I look out over the horizon and say,
"Yeah. I understand where you're coming from, Hershel. We plan on getting started clearing out the prison next week. If our math is right, we should be clear to stay there by the end of the following week."
I can see why Hershel still has the view that walkers are alive. While staying here a grand total of zero walkers have come from the woods. I'm sure Otis has been bringing some in, but he's been stealthy about it. Hershel speaks to me with a slight bit of guilt hidden in his tone,
"I know you have children with you. I've felt a bit of a chill in the air lately. They're welcome to stay inside the house 'till you guys are ready to leave. I thank you for keeping the group in check. I've noticed a few of 'em being rowdy at some points, but you always step up and get them calmed down. I'm mighty impressed at how much of a leader you are at your age."
I smile a genuine smile. I've been pretty insecure about my leadership ever since THAT happened… But, I'm glad he thinks that. I speak to him,
"Thank you. That means a lot."
I look down at the ground and then back up before speaking again,
"Can I tell you something?"
He nods his head as he look out over the field,
"I know you still see walkers as people. And I truly understand it. At first I didn't, but I can feel how peaceful your home truly is. You haven't had to deal with many, right."
Immediately, a slight amount of hostility is present on his face. He answers as his arms cross in front of his chest,
"Indeed. The only few we've seen have been dealt with by Otis. Or yourself in the case of that one that was in the well."
I nod my head,
"I used to think the exact same thing. I had a friend with me when all this happened. She got bit. I didn't. After a few days, she wanted to eat me. I tried everything to get her to stop and come back to me, but nothing worked. Eventually, it was either me or her. I knew deep down that even if she were still in there, she would want me to do it. She wouldn't want to even have a chance of killing and eating someone. She was my first kill. I'm not trying to argue with you or convince you otherwise. I just thought I'd tell you a bit of my story."
Hershel looks out over the field again, deep in thought. We stand in silence for a few seconds, just admiring the beautiful view. He then speaks again,
"My father was an awful man. Alcoholic, abusive, checks all the boxes. I ran away from this house when I was fifteen. Didn't return even as that evil man was on his deathbed. But, I did know that I now had a duty. I was about eighteen when I eventually came back as my mother was stuck tending the farm all on her own. Coming back to this place made me relive some awful memories. Some that stay to this day. But, after a few years of working the land here, I met a woman. My wife."
A smile comes onto his face as he thinks of her,
"An absolutely radiant woman, she was. I remember trying to get the cattle back into the barn for the winter, when I saw her watching me from behind the fence. I rode up to her and said, 'Never seen a handsome cowboy before?'"
He chuckles as he says this, barely able to keep it together,
"Heheh, and I remember she said, 'Nope! Still haven't, neither!' Man, the brat she was!"
I laugh along with him, seeing the genuine glee on his face as he remembers her. He continues on,
"Needless to say, I proved her wrong. After that day she'd come visit nearly every day. My mom kept pestering me to take her on a date, so I did. I took her to see Gone with the Wind. We watched a reshowing, of course, I ain't that old. Ended up getting together after that movie. Fast forward half a year and we get married. The very next year, my mother ended up passin' on. That left just Annette and I in this little farmhouse. We lived our youth together without a care in the world. Just workin' the land and tending the cattle. When we were in our forties, we had our first kid. Shawn."
He takes a second before continuing on,
"He was a bit of a handful, that he was. He was rambunctious, and didn't know how to listen. After that, we had Maggie, and then Beth."
He looks around for Beth before leaning over to me and whispering,
"Beth was an accident… A happy one, but still."
He chuckles and leans back, continuing on,
"Sorry for rambling. But, Annette and I were sitting in the livin' room when we started to hear the sound of jets flyin' by. I didn't think much of it since we live quite close to a few military bases, but a few minutes later, we started to hear low rumbles. Turning on the TV confirmed that it was indeed bombs… Being used on Atlanta. We called Maggie and Shawn, gettin' them back to the house as the two of 'em were out and about. Maggie got here first, but Shawn… Shawn had apparently been bit by one of them. I cleaned the wound and dressed it… But he kept getting worse…"
Hershel looks down with a sense of melancholy washing over him. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He then looks back up,
"Haaaah… He uh… He died a day later. Annette was beside herself. Completely devastated. As was I… She slept in the room with his body… How I wish I woulda been there instead… I woke up to the sounds of screams and ran downstairs, finding Shawn biting into his mother's arm. At that point, Otis was here luckily, so we managed to pull him off. He kept tryin' to bite us, so we put a piece of wood in his mouth and Otis took him out and locked him up. Annette… Didn't last nearly as long as Shawn. By the end of the day she had already passed on."
He looks over towards the barn, deep hurt filling his eyes. But, a sense of resolve deep within.
"We put her in the barn as well. I didn't wanna believe it. That my son and wife had been taken from me at the same time."
Tears begin to flow down his face as his eyes redden. I put my hand on his shoulder, offering silent condolences to him. He leans forwards, putting one of his hands on the railing while using the other to wipe his eyes. He speaks through the tears, heartbreak clear in his voice,
"I didn't wanna believe god would do this to me. But I see now that I've been a fool, miss Penny. When that man was ripped in half, his guts splattered through the sand, I knew. I knew deep down that he was already gone. His look of pure evil, tryin' to rip me apart as though it hadn't just lost half its body. I didn't wanna believe the implications this would have for my family. That my wife, my children's mother was gone. Deep down… Deep down I knew. I knew that there was no way for someone to come back from the dead, not like they had. I knew that some evil spirit had taken control of their bodies. And I just let it stay. Hopeful that I could wrench their souls outta heaven and put them back in their bodies in any way possible."
I rub his back, letting him get it all off his chest. He seems to be done for now, so I speak to him,
"I understand. We're all built to grieve in different ways. Some of us choose to find ways to solve our grief while others are slaves to it. Some of us who have believed we've solved our grief have successfully tricked ourselves into believing that we aren't part of the enslaved. That we're better than that. We bottle it up deep inside, not realizing that it's something that will burst out at some point. Some people lose themselves when it bursts and turn to other ways to ignore the boiling guilt bubbling over and consuming them. Some drown themselves in drink, sex, drugs, or money. Some turn to a higher power, believing that they can solve this problem for them so they don't have to confront it themselves. Some still choose to ignore it, letting it boil over into their personal lives."
I continue on, watching as the sun finally crests fully over the trees, and watch as birds begin to fly from their nests,
"Others do something and solve that grief themselves. It's okay to need help."
I give him a warm smile,
"There's always someone who's willing."
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AN: Sorry for missing Wednesday, I'm swamped at work right now. I've been spending most of my time working on an original as well as playing starfield cuz I just need a bit of a break. We're getting close to the end of the second season, and there's gonna be a two-week break. The third season is gonna be mostly action and intrigue.
big tired
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