Caitlin was driving home after buying groceries for dinner. It was past 6 PM, and the starry sky made the road easier to see. She was still worried about Mariana, feeling helpless to ease her suffering. Caitlin was saddened by Mariana's pain; she was certain the death of Mariana's abductor, a man she believed Mariana loved, had devastated her. Caitlin wanted to believe in Mariana's feelings for Calum, but Mariana's memory loss made those feelings seem uncertain, possibly illusions. Caitlin decided to let time and God be the judge. She knew she would always be there for Mariana, no matter what.
She arrived home; the night's silence felt colder. Mariana opened the door before Caitlin could. Caitlin was surprised but grateful.
"Oh, thank you," she said.
Caitlin entered, and Mariana closed the door.
"I was late; the store was crowded," Caitlin explained, heading to the kitchen, Mariana following. Caitlin looked at Mariana's face after putting the groceries on the counter.
"Are you okay?" she asked, her forehead furrowing with concern.
Mariana looked like she'd seen a ghost—pale, wide-eyed, almost forgetting to blink, barely registering Caitlin's question. Her gaze was fixed on Caitlin, but her mind seemed distant.
"Mariana?" Caitlin asked, walking toward her. Mariana jumped, startled by Caitlin's voice.
"Oh, sorry, what—what was your question again?" she stammered, forcing a small smile.
Caitlin knew Mariana was hiding something.
"What's wrong? Are you okay?" Caitlin asked worriedly.
"Oh, I'm okay… I'm—okay. I'll help you prepare dinner," Mariana replied.
Caitlin disregarded her worry, letting Mariana help with dinner. As long as Mariana said she was okay, Caitlin would believe her, even if it weren't true.
---
Mariana waited until Caitlin went to her room before getting food from the kitchen. She microwaved leftover roasted chicken and mashed potatoes.
She thought Calum might be very hungry since she could only give him water to avoid arousing Caitlin's suspicion. She had hidden him in her room. Mariana worked quickly and quietly to avoid making noise that might prompt Caitlin to check on her. She placed the food on a tray and went upstairs.
Opening the door, she found Calum standing by the window, looking outside. She placed the food tray on the small table and softly said,
"You need to eat, I know you're hungry."
Calum's face was expressionless, but his eyes were focused on her. He was wearing a gray t-shirt—Alton's shirt that Mariana had forgotten she still had. It fit him snugly, making his biceps look even larger.
He walked toward her, stopping half a meter away.
"I'm not in the mood to eat," he said with a smirk.
Mariana took a step back.
"You can't only eat when you're in the mood," she replied, then went into the small room. She left Calum smiling, realizing this conversation had already happened.
Mariana's heart pounded as she entered the small room in her bedroom. This room contained her walk-in closet, collection of bags, and shoes. She had intentionally placed her walk-in closet in her bathroom for convenience, and it proved helpful now. She wouldn't be undressed in front of him, she firmly told herself, dressing after a quick bath. She breathed heavily, looking at herself in the full-length mirror, drying her hair with a blow dryer, and contemplating what had happened earlier. The kissing and touching—Mariana couldn't believe she'd allowed it. Her body had been controlled by her heart and emotions; she couldn't stop herself when she felt such intense love for him. Her mind was shattered, unsure what to think. She also considered that she and Caitlin might be in danger if he was a cold-blooded criminal planning to murder them that night. Yet, she had still managed to take a shower. Should she call the police and report him? Or just let him leave? She was too confused to know what to do. But she sensed that he didn't intend to harm her. His kiss said it all.
Calum patiently waited for Mariana to came out in the room. His mind was racing, replaying their closeness. His body craved more intimacy; he ached to have her. He could only mutter,
"Fuck."
He imagined her body; the touch of her lips drove him crazy. He fell into the bed, using his left arm as a pillow, staring at the ceiling. He shouldn't be thinking like this, he knew. He needed to control himself, to avoid being manipulated by his desires. He knew Mariana still considered him her enemy, and kissing her while she was scared was wrong. Then, the thought of escaping the FBI entered his mind. He'd seen the news reports announcing his death—a cover-up orchestrated by his father to facilitate his escape. The wound on his chest was from removing a tracking device they'd implanted. Now, Calum didn't know how to proceed, yet here he was, dreaming of Mariana when he couldn't even take care of himself. He was only causing her more trouble. He clenched his jaw and stood. He glanced at the small room door before reaching to the doorknob out of her room. But before he could open it, he heard her say,
"Are you going now?"
She was wearing a white silk pajama set.
She just came out and stood in front of the door. Their eyes met. He walked near her and bowed his head slightly to get a better look at her face.
Their faces were so close; he could smell her alluring scent. Their eyes connected; and their bodies yearned for closeness, it happened everytime their eyes met.
"I am. I'm happy to see you again."
A sad, genuine smile touched his face as he spoke, causing Mariana's heart to ache. She could smell his manly scent, his minty breath.
"What's the purpose of you coming here? Are you here to make fun of me?"
Her voice was laced with confusion, not anger. She was bewildered and unsure how to react.
"No… I simply wanted to see you," he whispered, his jaw clenched then he moved even closer to her.
Mariana closed her eyes; a single tear fell. She felt his strong arm around her waist, her body leaning into his. She kept her eyes closed as she felt his warm palm caressed her cheek, wiping away her tear.
"I love you," he murmured.
And again, their lips met. It was a desperate, wild kiss, as if he were parched and seeking solace. She kissed him back, their hearts pounding. His hand was around her neck; his other hand found its way to her hip. Calum's mind went blank; all he knew was that she was driving him crazy; he needed to be with her. He pinned her against the wall, her gasp echoing as his body covered hers. He lowered his lips to her neck, sucking on her skin, her moan a testament to the pleasure. His hands traced the curves of her body, from her hips to her breasts, causing another moan to escape her lips. Calum was eager to explore her, his lips returning to hers, both gasping for air. Mariana looked at him, her eyes filled with desire and confusion.And then he pulled away, closing his eyes, cursing under his breath.
"Fuck," he whispered.
He cupped her face in his hands, resting his forehead against hers. Mariana held her arms tightly, tears streaming down her face.
"I'm sorry… I shouldn't be this stupid, this foolish to dream of having you in my life when I don't even know what to do. I don't know how to deal with my messed-up life, Mariana…"
Mariana listened, her heart aching.
"I know you're confused, nervous, maybe even scared of me, but know that I have no intention of harming you. I only came here to see you, to ask for your forgiveness. I may never see you again, and I'm terrified you'll never forgive me before I die."
Mariana gripped her arms tighter, sobbing. They both cried, their hearts beating in unison.
"I'll be back in prison, at least I can pay my debt, even though I know it's not enough," he said, his voice deep and trembling.
"I don't want you involved in my life's tragedies anymore, you have Alton. You deserve a man like him, a man who would never put you in danger. I wish you a better life. I love you," he whispered, his tears falling freely.
He started to let go, to walk away, the act of resisting her, of walking away, the hardest thing he'd always done. Then he felt her arms wrap around his waist, her tear-soaked face buried in his back. He clenched his jaw, lifting his head, closing his eyes. How could he leave? His heart, mind, and body refused to let him go. And she, clinging to him, made it impossible.
Made it even more harder for him to go away.
"Calum… Don't leave me. Please… stay with me. I'm begging you…" she whispered, her voice hoarse from crying. She knew she couldn't let him go.
He held her hands at his waist, turning to face her. And again, their lips met. It was as if heaven and earth collided, as if all their wishes and dreams were coming true. Their broken hearts mended, becoming whole once more.
***