Bab 33: RUN OUT THE LIFE
James' POV
I rush down the stairs, trying my hardest to get outside before my anger forces me to shift in the middle of the house. I manage to make it out the door and into the yard before my muscles are shifting to accommodate my wolf body. I land on all fours and I begin running away from the pack, trying to escape whats going on.
As soon as I get Carramel and everything is perfect I let my fucking guard down and now she's in danger. My small selfless bean is in danger and it's all my fault. I snarl at the thought, mind racing as I push myself harder and further until I reach a place that Alex and I discovered a few years ago when his parents passed.
My strides finally slow as I make my way to the lengthy grass that surround the lake, a beautiful waterfall feeding it.
My mind is whirring from all the possibilities of who it could be but the one that pops up over and over in my mind is him. My father. The thought of him threatening Carramel or having an alliance with someone in the pack is terrifying. As much as I stood up to him when he tried to kill my Mate, there's no way I can fight and protect her from an unseen force. Maybe my dad is right and I am weak.
How can people trust me to be an alpha and lead them when I can't even make sure my own Mate is safe? My wolf whines at the thoughts scrolling through my head, my ears flat as I continue to think in circles.
They quickly perk up though when I hear the incoming of feet on the ground and my body is on instant alert. I let my nose range out and sniff at the air, hoping it's someone I recognize but they're too far for me to tell. I'm about to raise on my feet into defense when I feel the steady calming force of Jessie's mind nudging my own.
I settle down and allow her to come closer, not wanting to worry her. It's strange, as much as I thought Carramel's wolf and I would have no connection, I still feel the same amount of attraction and care that I do for Carramel just in a different form. I hear the wolf approach and her pace slows down as does her breathing as she slowly walks towards my body.
Out the corner of my eye, I feel her settle down in the grass about four inches away. Not close enough to touch but close enough so that I can feel her heat and comfort easily and I thank the Goddess for such a perfect Mate wolf and human both for knowing me so well. We sit there in silence for a while and I let my thoughts and shame float away in the wind at least for now as I enjoy the first alone time I've gotten with Jessie.
I feel her mind nudge mine once more and I allow her conscious to slip in and I hear her voice instantly. 'She's going to be okay, you know.' She tells me, still looking out over the water with her head resting on her paws. I sigh, letting some of the stress and anger flow out with the breath.
'She shouldn't even be in this situation.' I tell her and she's silent for a second before she scoots a little closer, her fur touching mine in a soothing way that makes me purr a little much to my embarrassment.
'As much as she's a tiny little bean, you have to remember that she's was on her own for five years. No family, one friend and a half-breed wolf in one of the strongest packs in America. Give our baby some credit.' She tells me and I feel a bit better though just as guilty for underestimating Carramel.
'You know, you're a pretty solid wolf.' I tell her after a few moments of silence and her wolf laughs roughly, the sound scraping my ears perfectly.
'I think it's to combat the three of you. Sloan is sassy, Carramel is anxious and you're uptight.' She thinks out loud and I scoff, turning my head slightly so she can see the roll of my eyes much to her amusement.
'I'm not uptight.' I say and she chuckles once more but let's me have it before she speaks up again once she thinks I'm calm.
'Do you really think it's your dad?' She asks me and I'm silent for a moment as I think.
'I'm not sure honestly. Is is bad that I wouldn't be surprised if it is? I feel like no matter how far away I get or how long he's gone, he'll never leave me alone.' I tell her, letting the soft wind carry the words from my mind to her.
'I won't lie to you and say it'll go away. The pain and the regret and everything else. But I can tell you that one day you're going to look back and be proud of yourself and really that's the only thing you could ask for.'
We fall quiet as the sun disappears behind the clouds as it slowly makes it's way across the sky. I move my body so that I'm leaning on my Mate, who is only slightly smaller than me. My head leans against her and Jessie lays her head on top of mine soothingly.
'I was nervous about you, you know.' I tell her as we sit there and enjoy the nature and each other's company.
'I know, I could tell. But why?' She asks softly, no judgment or anger in her voice just soft curiosity much to my relief.
'Carramel almost never talked about you. Then I found out you were a dominant wolf, I was sure that we would be bumping head and fighting for dominance.'
There's a laugh that bubbles from her chest and floats to my ears making them twitch happily. 'There's no reason for us to bump heads. Now the dominance thing, I'm sure one of these days you'll be begging for me to fuck you until you pass out.'
My head jerks up in surprise and I almost hit her in return at the words I just heard. 'I'm not Sloan, I fuck, I don't get fucked.' I tell her nervously and through our mental link I feel her nuzzle my mind slowly making my whole body shiver my eyes growing wide.
'Whatever you say.' She tells me and if I was human my cheeks would be stained red. I quickly stand up form my position in the ground and take a few steps away front the suddenly confusing wolf.
'Come on, we should be heading back soon. We have homework and school tomorrow and we have to tell Sloan and Carramel about what happened.' I say nervously and Jessie lazily stands up, following me to my feet.
'Fine.' She says stalking towards me slowly making me gulp. 'I'll race you.'
I get excited at the offer, always up for the challenge, the alpha wolf in me ready to show off. 'What does the winner get?' I ask and I feel her smirk.
'If I win I get a kiss.' She tells me and I frown.
'Just a kiss?' I ask confused at the reward.
'Just a kiss.' She agrees with a soft shrug of her shoulders.
'Okay. If I win, you pay for lunch.' I tell her and she easily agrees. We line up beside each other and I smile inwardly knowing the chinese food tomorrow was going to taste so much better simply because it's free.
'Ready, Set, Go!'
I share mentally and we're off.
At first the two of us are neck and neck, paws slapping against the ground as we avoid fallen branches and rocks in the ground, running a few feet apart. Just as I think I'm pulling ahead and that I'm about to win, my mouth falls open at what happens next.
'Better luck next time.' Jessie says and the next thing I know her wolf is speeding past me and racing through the trees much faster than I've seen any wolf run ever. I push myself to the limit chasing after her but the best I can do is stay a few feet behind as she breaks through the trees and trots into the yard, shifting mid step to place her hand on the wall as I come skidding into the clearing.
"First." She says grinning down at me widely and I shift as I plop down on the grass, air escaping me as I gasp for air.
"How?" Is all I'm able to get out as my lungs work over time to fill themselves.
"We used to go on family runs in the morning and Carramel continued it throughout the years. That's her quiet time. So running is second nature to this body." She says shrugging as she leans against the wall her breathing barely effected by the two miles we just ran.
Once I don't feel like I'm about to pass out, I hoist myself on to my feet and through my hands up in defeat. "Okay, come get your stupid kiss." I say and steal myself for me what's to come but to my surprise she doesn't move.
"Nah. Not yet, you're not quite ready." Is all she says before she winks and pushes herself off the wall before leading a confused and blushing me through the back door of the house.
We joke and banter with each other as we take the stairs up to my room, closing and locking the door behind us, paranoia from earlier sinking in. As Jessie grabs some clothes and head to the bathroom to wash the afternoon off, I try my damnest to forgot the way my heart skipped a beat when she winked at me.
Hadiah
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