Bab 44: Rejection 44
He pulled my head up and I met his lips with mine it was passionate and scorching. I have never felt like this before. It was like touching hot soup. You wanted to stop tasting because of its heat but your mouth can't seem to let go of it. He groaned and when I touched his tongue with mine my sanity somewhere condemned me for doing this. But I didn't want to stop. I know after this I will never be able to kiss him again. I may not be able to meet everyone in the eye. To this day I have given kisses on my terms but this time I was reduced to an escort.
He dragged me towards him. I allowed it and climbed on him. I wrapped my legs around his waist. His kisses were now fast and we were planting in between for breaths. I sighed when he started kissing my neck. He paused for a second to press another sweet kiss on the hollow of my neck. It was dangerous to let him kiss me like this since it was only a business deal. My heart started beating double fast and I moaned when he sucked on my skin.
"Let's get this over with", I said not wanting him to mistake this as my ultimate surrender towards him. He stiffened and looked at me with a puzzled expression like he couldn't believe what he just heard. His eyes tightened when I looked at him with resentment. He sighed and put me down. I looked at him with a puzzled expression but he was not looking at me but on a point of the wall. It seems he wasn't interested in conversing with me anymore. I know he might be expecting praises of his prowess. But I have no time to waste on niceties.
" What did you say?", he asked me with a tight voice.
"I meant you don't have to waste time on making me feel good", I told him. This was business and neither of us should pretend it's not or give my poor heart an impression it's more. I couldn't survive it no matter how strong they think I was.
" Are you saying that you are just going to lie there like a doll until I'm done with it?", he asked me.
"Yes", I said trying to appear less emotional.
" Damn it, Mara. When will you realise your feelings for me? Those kisses I gave you is anything but business. I was trying to make you feel for me like I do for you", he said. I was tongue-tied not liking our conversation.
"Does it matter if I feel something? You will still go on hurting me", I told him.
" I have never tried to hurt you Mara", he said.
"You have and you will", I told him.
" I have decided to call off my deal", he said and began to walk away. I was surprised at his attitude. How can he walk away while pouring his heart out for me a second ago?
"So what are you going to do? Kill those innocents?", I asked him.
" No one has to be afraid of me if they are innocent", he told me vaguely.
"But you will attack them, won't you?", I asked him.
" Attacking Lasso was my order. It is the last resistance remaining of humans. With their technology, it won't be long till they attack us and may even win", he said casually.
"Women and children are going to suffer ultimately", I told him.
" We too had women and children. I have lost my mother to a human who was my father's friend", he told me.
"I think anyone who was your father's friend, will not be a good person whether it's human or not", I told him.
" So you are accusing my father now? I can't believe you, Mara. Everyone is right one should never trust humans", he said.
"I didn't accuse your father. I only stated a fact that was out in the open. Do you think normal fathers marry their son's fiancee? He doesn't care for you", I told him.
" So who cares for me? Are you saying that it's you? But believe me when I say this Mara you will never care for someone no matter how much they loved you", he said.
"I want you to promise me that will never lift your weapon at Lasso", I told him.
" How can I promise you that? I'm going for a battle not playing with kids", he told me.
"I beg you to end this war, Lucien. Only you can do this", I told him.
" I'm not the one to begin the war and I certainly won't be the one to end it. But believe me when I tell you. I will never hurt you", he said.
"I know you won't hurt it's not me I'm worried about. I would rather you hurt me instead of innocent children out there. I know I should have said it before but I will tell you now. I love you Lucien but if you hurt a soul there I won't forgive you", I told him.
" Isn't it a trap for me? You say you love me and I'm supposed to leave everything for you. If I refused to go my father will banish me and even send someone in my place. Why should I risk it all for a person who has never told me that she loved me before this second", he said.
"I know whatever I say you won't believe me. You would rather hate me so you can go and keep your reputation alive than stay here and test if I'm lying", I told him.
" I have never asked for a thing in my life except for your heart Mara and you refuse to give it to me unless I walk on the route you decides for me. I don't want your love which is mostly just conditions. I would rather love and lose than pretend to be loved", he told me.
"Goodbye Lucien after this never come near me. You have lost me the very second you decided to go there", I told me.
" Goodbye Mara", he said and he walked outside without a backwards glance. I sat on the bed and cried like a baby. It hurts to be rejected. Oh! why I did I confess to him? I hate him for making me feel this depressed.
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