Bab 9: Chapter 9
The silence in the room became deafening as the group dwindled down to just me. An odd sense of disappointment took over while the stillness grew as if a hope that I had not even realized I had been harboring deflated. Despite knowing that Master Kevin and Mistress Alyssa had never promised more than that one night, I felt stupid for ever having wished for more.
“It never would have worked anyway,” I whispered to myself morosely.
“What never would have worked?” Master Kevin asked, popping into my view.
My mouth worked, but my voice suddenly vanished, leaving it gaping open like a fish trying to find air. I had honestly thought they had gone off or went home like everyone else.
“Nothing,” I finally gasped out. I cleared my throat and tried the whole speaking thing again. “What are you guys still doing here?”
“We had hoped to talk to you. We haven’t really seen you since you got back and we wanted to see how you were holding up,” Kevin answered.
Alyssa stepped forward and touched my shoulder gently. “We were really worried about you. When you ran off like that, it was a foolish thing to do.”
“You should have trusted us all to take care of you,” Kevin admonished.
Shame flushed my cheeks. “It wasn’t that,” I admitted quietly.
“Then what was it?” he demanded angrily. “Because I fail to see what was more important than your safety.”
I looked over to where Vie and Trev were standing. They were checking out one particular scene that had a Symbian for its centerpiece. It honestly looked like he was trying to convince her to get on it. She was looking around, almost horrified, and shook her head no.
I spoke up, finally. “Everyone else. I couldn’t stand to see another person I cared about getting hurt. I was hoping that if I were out of the picture then they’d leave you alone.”
My confession left them stunned, and for a moment, no one broke that silence.
I bowed my head in shame, thinking that this would be the last time I talked to either of them. The next thing I knew, they had surrounded me, their bodies pressing in on me. Overwhelmed, I stumbled backward until the granite countertop of the bar halted my escape.
I looked up at them wide-eyed and fearful. I expected to find anger and betrayal since they had every right to feel those after what I had done. I did not expect the burning determination in Kevin’s gaze with a matching sense of eagerness in Alyssa’s.
“Bell,” Kevin started quietly. “You are in so much trouble.”
“What?” I gasped out in disbelief. “Why?”
“For not trusting us with your safety or our own. For not trusting us with your fears and talking to us. Your punishment for this will be long and not as much fun as you’d want it to be.”
“Not to mention, my little fairy,” Alyssa began as she licked her lips, her hot gaze burning into me. “Since you agreed to be our sub… I’ll be punishing you as well for disregarding our commands and disregarding your own safety.”
My heart jumped at their words. They were speaking as if they had every right to punish me as if they wanted the right to punish me. A happy warmth spread through me that made me uncomfortable until I forced it back down again.
They did have a right to punish me. I had disobeyed them, lied to them, ran out on them. According to every rule that I ever knew, and what they had set down that night, they did have every right.
The only way out of this would be to safeword out. But, if anyone ever got wind of the fact that I had safe worded out of a punishment, I would have a lot more hell to pay than what I already had coming to me. I concealed a wince by looking down at my toes. I had to suppress the simultaneous urge to jump in and ran away.
I craved more time with these two; even more, than I would let on to anyone else. But there was a bone-deep terror that if I let them in any further, I would not be able to let them go. The power of our one night together still could make my knees weak whenever the memory would play over in my mind, which was every chance it got.
I did not need any more memories; I did not need to know any more about them. I just wanted to run away and hide back in that little lakeside cabin and watch the stars.
Like a light flipping on in the darkest room in my mind, I found that my terror overwhelmed my need for them. My head snapped up, and suddenly the submissive part of me buried itself underneath the will to survive.
“Thank you, Alyssa, Kevin,” I heard a voice come out of my mouth that was not my own.
Kevin and Alyssa reeled back stunned, and I was not sure who was more shocked. But I kept going; now that they had given me, space my mind was whirling, and I could not help pressing forward.
“I appreciate everything you guys have done for me. But I don’t think this place is for me anymore. So, thank you, but no,” I finished up in an eerie calm that sent a chill up my own spine.
I stepped away from the bar and straightened my shoulders even though they felt so heavy that I was surprised I could even hold them up. With as much grace and poise as I could muster, I put one foot in front of the other, letting them take me as far away from them as they could. Walking away, I could have sworn I heard Alyssa whisper my name, but when it did not happen again, I chalked it up to my wild imagination.
I was glad they didn’t say anything or come after me. If they had, I probably would have gone running back to them both.
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