Bab 16: Chapter 16: Murderer

"Just so I can be humiliated again?", I hissed at him softly. I didn't feel the need to get in front of the camera again, for today and maybe forever that was it for me. However, I didn't know if I wanted to stop casting, I didn't know if I could because of that, if only because a small part of me hoped that I could stay here. When I realised what I had just been thinking, my pride snapped me back to reality. I wrested myself from his grip, which was now tighter than before as if he didn't want to release me, but I wasn't his fucking property. Forget it, Nicolas,' I repeated firmly. He seemed very irritated, I think he knew he had hurt me and countered almost desperately: "Belle, you have to believe me, I didn't know about this. Should I believe him, I mean, he had already held so many auditions, he knew how things worked. I turned away from him, hastily without regard for the others, I contradicted myself at that moment, but I couldn't help it. He had hurt me, betrayed the trust I had gained, the spark that briefly flickered in my heart died an agonising death. All that was left was me, Belle a four. One who needed supplementary food powder because she had nothing else and had to work for an insane yet generous YouTuber because her family lacked money. He couldn't understand such a thing, why even he had everyone and got everything too. He liked being alone but still had no existential fears like me, like everyone below Three. I turned to go and reached the exit where the light was already brighter. For some reason, I stopped. Why? I didn't want to admit it, but I wished Nicolas would follow me and stop me. He did indeed come to me, my heart leapt. I quickly stifled my emotions again and stood there. The prince wanted to take my hand again, I would have gladly taken it too if it wasn't for the issue from earlier. Did he think that everything would be all right again with an apology? I took a step away from him, standing on a black marble tile. He retracted his gesture and looked down at the floor. We were silent again. At some point I did as he had done and looked at the floor as well, it was surprisingly worn, probably from the camera movements and the heavy roller boxes for the film equipment. I couldn't stand it any longer, the silence was going to end. Nicolas, let it go, it's too late,' I whispered and looked him in the face. Instead of him simply nodding, as a normal person would have done, and we would have gone our way again, at least for today, he didn't let my words get him down: "It's never too late Belle, it's always too early. I rolled my eyes slightly: "Please don't tell me we're in Wonderland, we're still missing the white rabbit with the clock that calls out that it's too late". I heard a suppressed grin from the side: "How do you always manage to be so cute when you counterattack, it's hard to be mad at you? I narrowed my eyes. I would have liked to slap him again. You can't be angry with me? He was the one who used me for quotas, not the other way round. My anger, which was only simmering, boiled up again: "That's the best you can come up with, prince wannabe. You can't even manage to leave the castle, let alone find a wife!'' I wanted to leave, but if I left, I would admit defeat and I didn't want that now. He clearly didn't take me seriously and that made me even angrier.

Instead of being offended or insulted, he continued: "You can't hurt me, Belle. I know you don't mean those things.'' I raised my hand slightly, one more word and I would actually slap him again. He noticed and said: "Don't do that, it could end badly for you." I heard a warning in his voice as if he wanted to have me thrown into the dungeon. You're giving me orders, really?" Again he didn't respond to me, he just looked at me reservedly but full of affection. Was I giving up now? For him? "I can't do this anymore..., I'm leaving," I left it open on purpose. Simply to give me a window in which to decide whether to quit or not. He could suffer a little.

I had a bad dream that night, I was with Nicolas in a meadow, we seemed to have a date, at first everything was going well until we started to argue. I didn't remember everything and only remembered a snippet of conversation. Stop looking at me like that,' I whispered desperately. "Belle, you're scaring me, what's wrong? Nothing, I just hate being looked at in the dark and anyway it's very scary to talk to someone in front of everyone. "But everyone has gone, we are alone, you can be yourself. I sighed heavily: "Nicolas, if you care about me, please stay away from me. He fell silent: What's got into you?" Now my patience was finally wearing thin: "What's got into me, think about it, you've embarrassed me in front of everyone, and all the time. Just because you kissed me doesn't mean we're together!' I hoped he would swallow it. "If I tell you, I have nothing to do with it, my father probably did it", he slowly became more serious. That was only right, so I could prevent us from getting closer. "I told you before that I hate you, I hate you even more than before. You don't play with other people's feelings and why do you want me so badly, there are enough other girls." "The same goes for you, you stupid thing, I've forgiven you often enough now, but now I've reached my limit for good,'' he spoke more cautiously. I recognised a figure in the corner of my eye. I felt my breathing rise more and more briskly, I was afraid. Of what? The creature was getting closer, I was getting nervous. Nicolas stood up and wanted to go in the direction where the person was. I tried to keep him with me, but he broke away. ''You are a puny nothing Belle, yes you are right I was only playing with you because I feel sorry for you, but now I am done with you, get out and go back to where you came from!'' That hurt more than I would have thought, I tried to keep pride in my voice, however, I failed halfway. I'll be glad to,'' the insult had fallen into my sentence and it was starting to bring tears to my eyes. Suddenly Leopold appeared, a pistol in his hand, the barrel pointed at Nicolas. Before I could grasp everything, the decisive shot was fired. It was all like slow motion, I staggered to the prince, desperately trying to stop the welling blood. I had to close the wound, but it was getting bigger and bigger, my dress was already soaked and formed little rivulets that ran onto the grass. I was shaking all over, I had not been able to control my tears for a long time. Nicola's body lay motionless, his chest no longer moving. I let go of him, closed his eyelids and pressed the back of my hand against my teeth to stifle a sob. I was full of red. I turned away from the dead man and confronted the murderer: "How could you! You killed him." He just laughed perfidiously and cruelly. "I didn't do it, Belle, you did it all by yourself." "Don't talk such nonsense!" I shouted back. From one moment to the next he had disappeared. Now, to my horror, the gun was in my hands and a word was tattooed on my hand's MURDERER. When I woke up again, I knew I had to change something, I had to save Nicolas from death.

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