Bab 45: Lessons
I was a little nervous as I walked towards the training area in search of Ontari. James had made it pretty clear to me that she could potentially be a major threat to the Heda, himself, or even other nightbloods.
I'd like to think that I've gotten to know Ontari pretty well, but I knew that there was still a lot left to learn.
Arriving at my destination, I swept my gaze over all of the training nightbloods. Most of them were talented, but there were a few, such as Aden, Ontari, and a young girl named Samara that were a cut above the rest. Aden was the second oldest behind Ontari, being fourteen years of age. Surprisingly, Samara was one of the youngest nightbloods present, being only ten years old.
However, even though she was only ten years old, Samara held extraordinary skills with a bow and sword.
Ontari, being the oldest at twenty one, was by far the most skilled of them all. Lexa and James suspected that she was trained by Nia for a long time before being sent to Polis. She hasn't mentioned it too much, but I have questioned her on her past somewhat.
I asked about her facial scars once, and she told me with pride about how they were a badge of honor. She had received them at the age of fifteen after she had returned to the Ice Queen's palace after killing Tiero, a monstrous bear that had been ravaging Azgeda's territory for years. It meant that Ontari was a hunter of the highest stock.
On more than one occasion when Ontari and I were alone in my quarters, I asked about each of the scars that littered her body. She seemed to have a crazy story for each and every single one of them.
Spotting her near one of the far sparring circles, I began to make my way over to her. I wasn't wearing my mask, I rarely ever did when I visited the nightbloods. Once I was a couple dozen feet away, she finally noticed me.
Ontari slid out of one of her training stances and waved at me with a large smile splitting her face. Her smile was contagious, as I sent her back a small smile of my own. I doubt it was love, as I hadn't known her that long, but I liked her a lot.
"Hey there, cutie," She said lightly as I approached. "Did you come all the way down here to visit little ol' me?"
I internally sighed. I really hoped that she didn't know anything about the assassination attempt beforehand. I was the happiest that I've ever been in my entire life, and I didn't want to lose that feeling so soon.
"Hey, gorgeous," Looking around, I noticed that there were some other nightbloods in hearing distance. "Is it okay if I talk to you for a minute or so?" I asked quietly, not wanting to be overheard.
She seemed to sense the seriousness of whatever it was that I wanted to talk to her about, and so, she nodded, her smile no longer present.
I motion for her to follow me as I lead her towards the edge of the training area. Anxiety coursed through me as I thought of all of the possibilities of Ontari's potential acts of treason. Knowing about the assassination attempt, planning a similar attack on the Heda, James, or even other nightbloods, a spy for Nia, and everything in between.
Once we got to a private spot at the edge of the training grounds, I took a precautionary look around to make sure no one was able to listen in. Finding it clear to speak, I turn to face Ontari. "Is something the matter, John?" She asked me with concern, her brown eyes meeting with my blue. I swallowed hard and hesitated before asking her what I wanted. Seeing my hesitation and perhaps something more, she took one of my hands in her own. "What's wrong?"
I wasn't really sure how I wanted to go about this. However, I knew that it would be best to be straight up and blunt.
"Did you know of the assassination attempt on the Heda before it happened?" I asked her seriously, searching her face for any signs of one way or the other. It was subtle, so subtle that I almost missed it, but I saw her eyes shine with worry before being replaced with a caring look.
I knew that Ontari was not only a brilliant warrior, but very talented at schooling her features when under duress.
"Why are you asking me that?" She spoke quietly, frowning at the subject of questioning.
Ontari was important to me. She was the first real friend that I made after James. She accepted me for who I am and not who I was. I didn't want to see her punished for treason or worse.
"Please, Ontari," I began slowly, letting my worry flow into my voice as I gave her hand a comforting squeeze. "Please, tell me the truth."
Again, worry crossed her features. Only this time, it didn't go away. "John, I-I can't…" She didn't know what to say, or she was scared. Perhaps, it was both. "I don't want to lie to you." Ontari pleaded softly.
Though she didn't say it, her words confirmed what I had feared. She did know. And if she knew of the assassination attempt, what other information was she privy to?
Letting go of her hand, Ontari's face flashed with hurt before I placed my hand on the back of her head and pulled her closer—our foreheads touching. "I want to help you, Tari, but I need you to be honest with me to do that." I whispered softly.
Her eyes seemed to search my own. Maybe she was looking for the truth behind my words, or maybe she was looking for something deeper. After what seemed like a lifetime, Ontari took a shuddering breath before telling me everything that she knew.
She did know of the assassination attempt beforehand, but she didn't know when or where it would happen, merely that she knew it would take place. If the assassination succeeded, she was ordered to kill all of the other nightbloods. Queen Nia called it Order sixty six.
"I didn't want to hurt you, John," She murmurs sincerely, begging me to believe her. "After I got to know you and the nightbloods, I-I don't think I could carry out Nia's orders. You, The Shield, and Lexa, have all been so nice to me and accepting. Not once did you all judge me for being from Azgeda."
Looking at her in sadness, I only hoped that the Heda would be merciful. If Ontari was honest and worked with us, there's a good chance that Heda would spare her life. But that's only because James didn't die. If James were to die, I fear that Heda would have become a monster. I saw glimpses of how cold she could be when James was missing, how ruthless…
I firmly believed that James was the only thing that kept her from giving up her humanity at times. James told me the story of how she lost Costia, how she threw herself into her Heda duties, how she stopped caring about anyone.
Placing my hands on either side of her head, I used my thumb to wipe away the lone tear that attempted to make its way down her cheek. Ontari wasn't someone who cried, he'd never seen her cry. Oftentimes, she would wear a cold mask to hide her true feelings. After some persuasion, it was only recently that she began to show me how she really feels.
"It's going to be okay," I tell her, kissing her gently. "When we meet with the Heda, I will vouch for you. They trust me." She nodded her head in reply, kissing me back, but I could tell she wasn't entirely convinced. She was scared, she was just too stubborn to admit it.
After a few more words of comfort were exchanged, I took her hand and led her to Heda's throne room. Since James woke up yesterday, Lexa had been in an agreeable mood. I just hoped it stayed that way.
The elevator ride up was made in a tense silence. Though Ontari appeared calm on the outside, her clenched jaw and distant gaze gave her away. That, and the death grip she had on my hand.
Once we arrived outside of the throne room, the elite guards standing outside the door didn't say anything to us as we passed—Heda was expecting us after all. Though they didn't seem to really acknowledge us, I could literally feel the passion held in their glares. If they didn't have masks on, I'd probably flinch from their looks alone. I wasn't sure if they glared at us because they knew what this meeting was about, or if it was because the coalition just declared war against Ontari's clan.
Walking into the large ceremonial room, Lexa immediately pinned us was the most intense scrutinization that I've ever encountered in my life. Not even Councilman Kane could pull it off.
Lexa's PoV:
Watching them walk into my throne room, I had all the confirmation I needed: Ontari knew. They walked stiffly, hand in hand towards where I sat waiting for them. John's face was painted with nervousness like an open book, he wasn't that experienced with masking his emotions yet. He had only just seemed to get over his anger issues a couple weeks ago.
Ontari, however, was much better at hiding how she felt.
If not for the stiffness in their strides, the visible white-knuckled grip they shared, and the fact that she was even attempting to hide how she felt from me, I could almost believe she wasn't worried.
I watched them approach as I sat in a relaxed posture playing with my dagger, waiting for them to tell me what I had already expected. Stopping a few feet from the base of my throne, John gave Ontari a meaningful look before taking his spot at my side. With James still on bed rest, his position was now John's.
If I were to order Ontari's execution, John would be the one to subdue her.
"Speak." I commanded calmly yet firm, still twirling my dagger in one of my hands. This dagger had been a gift from James when we were still children. He had Matthew commission it for her with the Trikru clan in mind. The hilt was made from an antler, carved to look like vines were growing up the face of the blade with the Trikru clan insignia etched into the bottom.
Visibly swallowing, I watched as Ontari steeled herself before beginning her story. "Queen Nia, took me from my family when I was young, similar to how the Flamekeepers do. However, she didn't send me to Polis right away. She put me under harsh training, turning me into a warrior worthy of being Heda. I was taught that emotion and caring about anyone was a weakness." I saw her eyes shift to my side as she said that, to John.
Ontari exhaled deeply before continuing, a common action to ease one's nerves. "But I know that was a lie told to me, one of many told to me by Queen Nia," her gaze never left John as she was making her point. "Caring about someone can be a weakness if you let it, but, loving someone, that can give you a strength unlike any other." She declared, her voice unwavering.
That was something that I could agree with Ontari on. Love can be the ultimate strength, but it can also break you. To love someone is to give yourself to that person unconditionally: mind, body, and soul. Love isn't only about vulnerability, however, no… it's also about trust. To give yourself to your chosen, can either set you free, or bind you completely.
"When I first came here, I was here as a spy—an agent of Queen Nia." Ontari continued, looking nervous for the first time since standing before me. So it was just as James and I expected, then. I didn't say anything to cut her off, I allowed her to finish her piece.
"There was a plan, Order Sixty Six, the Queen called it. I promise, Heda, I had no more information on any assassination attempts that were to take place other than it would happen." That wasn't so different from what I knew. I'm always expecting an assassination attempt to happen, and it wouldn't have even been the first time. However, this time it was clear that Azgeda was behind it, and it was an act to usurp the Commander's position by having a Puppet Heda to gain more power.
Ontari began to fidget the more she spoke; the more incriminating her words made her sound. "Whenever the assassination was to happen, and if Azgeda succeeded, I was to butcher the other nightbloods when they weren't expecting it and become Heda. When I became Heda, I was to lift Prince Roan's banishment, and elevate Queen Nia's position of authority within the clans."
My eyes narrowed, pinning her with the deadliest glare I could muster. To kill the other nightbloods before the conclave was to take place, to butcher them like mere cattle… I was angry.
The anger must have shown on my face, because Ontari's urgency to explain herself immediately increased, her voice becoming more raw and passionate.
"But I couldn't do it, please believe me. I was welcomed here with open arms and shown a kindness that I have only ever dreamt about. You, John, and your Shield, have taken me in. You must have suspected Queen Nia's intentions, yet you didn't treat me any different from any of the other nightbloods. If I ever needed help understanding the Heda's duties and responsibilities during lessons, you would never hesitate to help me.
"Polis has become my home. I have grown to care about each of you, especially John. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you of Nia's plans before, but I was scared that you would have me killed… or worse, expelled from Polis." She said fervently, her mask no longer in place, allowing for all her emotions to be visible. She was being honest, I could tell. She cared for Polis, and she cared for John.
"I wish nothing more than for you to have a long and healthy reign, my Heda. You deserve it." She finished strong, saying all she could. I believed her. If not for her words, I could believe the emotions she displayed before me. I knew liars, I knew them well—she wasn't one of them.
Though my eyes weren't narrowed anymore, I continued to stay at Ontari's face. I had to be sure that she wasn't trying to conceive me. She squirmed under my fixated gaze, glancing nervously at John every so often.
Ontari would be a wonderful ally to have in the upcoming war against Queen Nia. She knew her way around the Azgeda capital intimately, as well as Nia's palace. The information she could provide on Azgeda's troops as well were equally as valuable, if not more so. James would certainly be able to provide a use for such information.
"You are forgiven, Ontari," I decided, watching as relief flooded through her being, listening as John released a sigh of relief. "You will continue your training and lessons as usual. Once my Shield gon Hedas has recovered from the Azgedian attack, you will provide him with any useful information you have on Azgeda's territory, Queen Nia, and Azgeda's troops. Is that understood?"
Watching her closely I could see her conviction, her desire to prove herself to John and I. I knew that she would agree before even she did. "Understood, Heda. You will not be disappointed." She saluted, her lips curving into a small smile.
"See to it that I'm not."
***
James' PoV:
I sat up and stretched, wincing slightly at the stabbing pain that shot through my chest. While my lung wasn't as bruised anymore, the wound on my chest was still pretty tender. Every time I stretched or made too much movement with my chest, the stitches holding my wound together would pull at my flesh.
It's been a few days since Lexa's meeting with Ontari. She filled me in on everything, got me caught up with the situation. I am a little bit relieved that Lexa was lenient on her, I liked Ontari. I think she is good for John. He's certainly taking his role more seriously since she's been around, anyway.
I am supposed to be meeting with her later so she can give me some information I need to best approach Azgeda's territory. I just hoped that whatever information she had was still useful.
As the general of Polis' army, I'm quite familiar with using information provided in making battle plans. If I were dumb, I would just use the same plans I used in our last war with Azgeda. But no, they most certainly would have changed how their army worked by now.
Getting out of bed, I slowly began to get dressed for the day. Because of my wound, I needed to wear a more loose set of armor around my torso; compared to my usual leathers, anyway. If Lexa were here she would definitely start to fuss over me, demanding that I stay in bed. I shook my head, chuckling lightly at the thought as I tied my boots.
Grabbing the plain spear I had leaning against the wall, I put on my mask and walked out of the room.
Nodding my head to each guard that I passed, I couldn't help but think about how far I've come. From a weak little orphan boy, to holding the second most powerful position in the coalition. Being Polis' general was an honor in itself, everything else about the job was just perks.
I've led and managed more than one war since becoming a general, and the fact that I fought alongside my men most of the time and lived to talk about it spoke highly of my battle prowess. Fighting shoulder to shoulder with the men under you does wonders for morale. A commanding officer should never make their soldiers do anything they themselves aren't willing to do.
Even though it made Lexa worry, I knew it was the right thing to do, and I knew she was still proud of me for it.
Arriving at the nightblood's lesson room, I slip inside quietly, being extra careful to not disrupt today's lesson. Finding myself a nice seat in the back, I watched as Lexa taught the nightbloods the responsibilities and duties of a Heda.
Every time one of the young nightbloods raised a hand in question, Lexa would patiently answer them, always with a kind smile on her face. This is one of the many reasons that she made a great Heda. She knows when to be merciful, she knows when to be merciless, she knows when to be patient, she knows when to be commanding, and she knows when to be kind; as shown to the eager nightbloods in front of her.
Finally seeming to notice me way in the back, her kind smile is soon directed towards me. Because I had my mask on, I wasn't able to smile back, so I pathetically nodded my head in return. Lexa didn't seem to mind, though. Her smile seemed to grow, reaching her eyes as I acknowledged her.
"What is the hardest thing about being Heda?" A young black haired girl named Samara asked innocently.
A resigned look came over Lexa's face before she quickly masked it with a small smile. "The Hardest thing about being Heda, Samara, is the difficult choices that I'm faced with daily." She replied, hoping that the little girl was satisfied with her answer.
Alas, the girl was too curious for her own good, asking Lexa why that was the hardest thing about being Heda.
I had asked Lexa the same question shortly after she became Heda, feeling like a lifetime ago. "A true leader must always be able to make the difficult choices, because they are the only ones who can." She had told me.
"Because sometimes, while inaction is the best choice, it isn't ever the correct choice for a Heda. Sometimes we make choices that we don't agree with, sometimes we make choices that hurt us. In life, you can not please everyone, just as you can not make everyone hate you. There will always be those who disagree with you or agree with you just because. Much of the time, people don't even know why they hate you, other than because they are told to hate you.
"You should never make a choice with the thought of trying to please everyone in mind. Especially, if you yourself don't agree with the choice. Do what you believe is right, because as Heda, your word is law. Sometimes, you have to be the Heda that your people need, not the one that they want. Stay true to yourself, and trust your intuition. Those who love you will love you, and those who will hate you will hate you."
Thinking it over in her head, the young girl nods to herself. "I understand, Heda." She says cutely, putting her head down to write in her little notebook.
Smiling at the young girl, Lexa's warm gaze sweeps over the rest of the children present. "Do any of you have any more questions?" One by one, she answers each of the questions the nightbloods ask with a patience only a leader is capable of.
There were a few good questions, but none of them got such an in depth answer as the one she gave Samara. Soon enough, the lesson had ended, and the nightbloods all went off to either train or go to their barracks, leaving Lexa and I alone.
I went over to her and began to help her clean up after today's lesson. It wasn't much, but it felt like the right thing to do. Because of the Flame, Lexa had much wisdom to share with the young nightbloods, I only hoped that she wouldn't be giving up the Flame any time soon.
PERTIMBANGAN PENCIPTA 
CallMeQuotes
CallMeQuotes Was feeling inspired today. I hope everyone is having a great day!
Status Power Mingguan
-- Peringkat
Power 
-- Power
stone