I put on my most beatific smile, one that would easily sell the smartyness, truthyness, and goodyness of our family at our meeting with the Asuran Council regarding our admission to the colleges. Despite Scarlet Briar, formerly Ceara, leaving a sour taste in the Arcane Council's collective mouth for foreign students, I knew I sold the benefits of our tuition like a slimy salesman convinces a naïve young teacher to buy a car she can't afford.
Assured of my success, I listened in on the deliberations using my super hearing after we were asked to step outside a sound dampening field.
"My word, that smile," one of the diminutive councilors stated, "the supernatural dread it made me feel is a phenomena we must study in greater detail!"
"It did feel like my personal doom was running its fingers down my spine." Another stated, "If we can weaponize that effect it will severely demoralize enemy combatants. I say we approve their applications so we can observe it in its natural form. Its not like these tiny Norn will have the mental agility to learn much before we figure out how to harness this newly discovered phenomena."
"All in favor of having these freaks stick around!" one shouted.
"Aye!" The rest agreed.
"No need to tally the nays. The freaks can attend the colleges!"
I took a deep breath to either calm down or stock up on air for a gout of divine flames, but just barely managed to keep from cooking these arrogant little cave rats. After all, they threw down the gauntlet, and I accepted the challenge.
Over the next six months I destroyed every academic record I could apply myself to and finished as the top ranked student in both the College of Statics in two months and the College of Dynamics in four months. I did this through a mix of being the smartest person to ever attend the Asuran Colleges - minus Jack who was roughly my equal but had applied herself to different fields - my own negligible sleep requirements, and liberal use of the Ring of Namira to stave off mental fatigue.
Not only was I smacking down these little rat men in their own games like golemancy, but I was also pushing the unification of my own various tech masteries into a merger with Tyrian magic and materials, including power armor, plasma cannons, and even nanomachines. As far as I can tell, orichalcum nanomachines are the shit.
But more importantly, far more importantly, I was working to break the curse on my crafting skills that turned all the work of my hands brutal. I grinded away day in and day out to create a single sword, and on the morning of my graduation from the College of Dynamics, I set about bringing the legendary Sunrise greatsword into the world. I'd gone through so much shit to make this happen, and in a secret mystic forge I combined the precursor weapon Dawn, with the Gift of Sunrise, the Gift of Fortune, and the Gift of Mastery. I watched as the angelic greatsword with a blade like a window into the morning sky came into being, the warmth of the rising sun filling the room and calling out to all of nature to wake and greet the day.
It was fucking glorious.
And then it spontaneously combusted and the golden angel wings of the hilt were replaced with a darker golden orichalcum runic head of Ormagoden, his tusks forming the crossguard and from the top of his head the blade that had once looked like a piece of the morning sky burned the orange, red, and purple of a setting sun. A leather and threaded gold hilt descended to a pommel that consisted of a quartet of conjoined skulls.
It was a vision of brutal glory.
"Fuck!"
After cratering the nearby wall with a few new dents from my fist, I took up my newly created Legendary Sword, and the same dimensional energy that formed the blade crept up my arm to the shoulder, encasing me in the burning sky that also formed a pool under me with each step. It was flashy as hell and I loved it.
On top of looking dope, the sword thrummed with power ready to amplify any magic I pour into it to create incredible attacks. A few test swings created trails in air that mirrored the sky my sword allowed us to gaze upon.
I made my way to the top level of Rata Sum, and lifted my hand… for a while. People were now staring at me like I was some kind of special idiot with a really special sword, but the moment Volendrung met my left hand a wave of godly aura washed over the assembled and the chrome of the hammer mixed with the gold of the sword and the sword mixed with the chrome of the hammer and both were made more beautiful for it. The plasma axe feature of the hammer activated and it shown with the same sunset as the sword, but the energy remained in the hammer rather than encapsulate my other arm giving me that A-symmetrical cosmetic effect that gets the ladies soggy.
I set out to recreate an artifact of Dwayna, ended up creating a divine relic of my own, and converted the Hammer of Might to my own divinity as well.
It was a good day.
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"The fact that no one figured out you were a god before today really shakes my faith in people." Zojja, a bald female Asura of legendary status and achievement told me as we sat in her lab after she had been assigned as my mentor upon my entry into the College of Synergistics.
"To be fair, I can't have pleasurable sex with Asura, and I haven't been fighting anyone since I got here, and you are all so wrapped up in your own work no one noticed all the neat stuff I have been making." I brushed aside the cynicism.
"So you are a god of sex, battle, and crafting?" Zojja asked.
"Pretty much." I answered.
"Great, another Human god running around." Zojja muttered, "Are you here to steal Asuran knowledge so you can give your favorite race another huge leg up against everyone else?"
"To be fair, my dear. I use to be a dragon-man, so you should probably be thankful to the dick head who warped me into this human form." I laughed, "Last thing you need is a dragon god descending on this world to speed up the desolation."
"I'll have to send him a thank you note the first chance I get." She nodded.
"You won't even find him in the afterlife after I got done with him." I said as I looked up at the ceiling, "I had four testicles. A great big quad!"
"I am sure there are many people that care about your loss of testicles." Zojja stated, "I am not one of them. What I want to know is what you are doing here in Rata Sum."
"The loss of my testicles was a crime against the omniverse." I spoke up against the atrocity, "And I came here to learn how the Asura do SCIENCE."
"Why?" Zojja inquired, "Why would a god be interested in Asuran research and technology."
"I want to fight the Elder Dragons, and they are more powerful than me. I can put the hurt on them no doubt, especially with my slick new sword and my empowered warhammer, but to actually win the day I need more." I answered, "So I either need to drag them down to my level, or find ways to get to theirs, and I chose magi-tech to get it done. Hell, Snaff's telepathic tech has already improved the speed at which I can develop new tech, and I am sure that Synergistics is where I will find the solution to infinite endless energy."
Seriously, Snaff was solid gold. The dude made technopathy a thing in this world and now I can program my nanoswarms hands free and even assume direct control like a Harbinger wannabe.
"Hold on, infinite energy and endless energy are two very different concepts and both are way beyond the current cutting edge of Synergistics research." Zojja sought to curb my enthusiasm.
"I picked up infinite energy decades ago." I told the Asura, "Even with my best efforts I can only get those batteries to last for twenty years, and the resources required to make them are not always available, but if I can fuse what I know with what the Asura know, even if I can't make a truly endless source of power, I know I will be able to greatly extend the lifetime of my power cells. After all, the best Asuran Tech is highly stable, capable of operating for centuries without maintenance."
"You have infinite power cells!" Zojja screamed.
"I could run the entire grid of Rata Sum for twenty years with a cell that fits into my armor." I nodded my head.
"Are you sure you can't have sex with Asura?" She looked at me with a familiar hunger in her eyes.
"Zojja. My cock is almost as big as your torso." I informed her.
"What about just the tip?" She shrieked.
"With some good lube we could maybe make it fit without too much tearing…" I theorized.
"Get your pants off!" my government appointed mentor shouted, "We are going to make the smartest babies ever!"
Happy Thanksgiving everyone.
Fun chapter of Grax flexing his academic muscles and our introduciton to Zojja who will be a major driver for the coming chapters.
Remember to drop me your stones and leave reveiws. Bonus chapters for every thousand stones and hundred reveiws, and you can also donate to me at
ko - fi . com / jmanm
In other news Kai_Uzumaki asked me if I would be willing to do a rewrite of my original RWBY story now that I am a more experiance writer. He happens to be my most vocal supporter, so I try not to disappoint the guy.
RWBY: THE KROGAN THE JACKED JAUNE'S LIFE will be updating once a week, and consists of Grax's thoughts getting flung accross the omniverse when Heracles smacked him in the head. This can serve as an entry point to my MC transmigrating into any character in the omniverse and the first to get the honor is Jaune Arc.
I'd say the first chapter of the rewrite is already a huge step up from the original, so pick up the story and let me know if you feel the same.
Zojja turned out to be far more than an outlet for kinky sex, as her mastery over Synergistics greatly accelerated the speed at which I could create advanced tech. During this time Zojja also began her apprenticeship with Tiami, a young Asura with a degenerative disease who used a golem for mobility assistance.
The poor girl hated my guts before I made a quick port back to Fireheart Rise, fought my way through the Flame Legion Stronghold for the second time, prevented the resurrection of that twat Baelfire, and had the nanohive give me back my oversized bass guitar before burying my shit all over again.
As I battled my way out of the fortress, I encountered a shirtless Charr with a big scar across his chest that I recognized from before.
"Behold, assassin!" He shouted as he raised a greatsword in each hand using his immensely grown muscles to hold them up, "I too have learned to wield greatswords with one hand. Now, for the chaos you have thrust upon the Flame Legion, give me your head!"
This dude came at me with the power of anime, as in the months since we parted his mane had grown long and spiky and the guy was legitimately fast coming at me with his swords. We exchanged a dozen blows before the Hammer of Might smashed him in the chest and sent him into a rock wall, creating a round impact crater and making the Charr cough up blood.
He pulled himself out of the crater and dragged his swords across the ground in front of him, causing them to ignite and we resumed our battle until the Sunset Greatsword pierced his belly and the Charr dropped to his knees, coughing up more blood.
"It was a cool fight." He stated before expiring.
"Fuck yeah, dude." I agreed.
After leaving the Citadel of Flame, I found the nearest Asuran Teleportation Tech and ported back to Rata Sum to put on an impromptu concert to heal a little sick girl with the power of Metal.
The twelve year old Tiami bounced around the lab dancing while Zojja looked on in shock. The Dredge were the species that had best harnessed the power of sound in this world, but nothing they had could heal people.
We ended up researching the guitar before Zojja dragged me to the peace accords being held at the Caudecus Manor, between the Humans and the Charr. We were attending because Caudecus was financing an inventor that had obviously got a hold of some of Snaff's research, something Zojja had buried under heavy classification even for Asura, let alone everyone else.
While all of Kryta had a beautiful Tuscan architecture, Minister Caudecus rubbed his villainy in our faces by living in a big old English style manor house with sloping blue tiled roofing and multicolored brickwork.
I am all for going against the grain, but how dare this bastard spit on the wholesome rustic beauty of Kryta. I'll get him for this.
Spotting Caudecus's daughter Demmi looking lonely at the party I knew just how to do it too.
"Did you just cum in me?" Demmi asked in horror, oblivious to the screaming outside that caused me to lose focus and bust a huge nut in her.
"Just think about how many wonderful years you are going to be able to enjoy with our grandkids." I told her as I started pulling on my gear.
"Oh my gods, I can't believe you just did that." she groaned while starting to look sick with worry.
"I'd apologize, but that was a damn fine wargasm." I stated, "And it would be an insult to the kid to make him or her feel like an accident. You have to be cognizant of your children's feelings, that's like a really big part of parenting."
Demmi pulled a nearby book off the shelf, opened it, puked on it, then closed it and put it back.
"It's okay, there are only like one or two days a month were I can get pregnant, so the odds are in my favor and if I never have sex again I never have to worry about some giant dickwad that can't pull out like he said he would."
"I hate to crush optimism, I really do, but my cum has been studied extensively and those swimmers don't care about cycles or any of that stuff." I said, "Once they're in you, they get the job done, even though contraceptive potions and magic or physical barriers. Zojja described them as reproductive WMD's in a recent research paper, so no need to worry about what ifs."
"You're like… someone really gorgeous who just wrecks people's lives." Demmi stated while looking at the floor.
"Thanks." I grinned before putting on my scary as fuck looking helmet, "It's always nice to hear someone as beautiful as you tell me I'm good looking."
"Please just go." Demmi begged.
"Sure thing." I laughed, "I gotta go foil your dad's villainous plans!"
"What the heck took you!" Zojja battled against the prototype golem created using Snaff's research.
I blinked behind it using the Sigil of Blades ability and started laying waste to it with my spin to win Whirling Wrath.
"I knew it!" Zojja shouted as she kicked a piece of the golem I just violently dismantled, "Someone has leaked Snaff's research and I just know exactly who did it. Come on Big Daddy, we are going back to Rata Sum and getting a containment squad out here to reclaim any Asuran Tech."
"Or we can help out and rescue the kidnapped queen that Logan just ran off after." I told the little Asura.
"Fuck Logan." Zojja spat, "If he didn't cut and run we'd have slain Kralkatorrik and Snaff would be alive."
"And Queen Jenna would be dead and Kryta would be run by Caudecus and his merry band of dickwads." I countered.
"Hey!" one of those dickwads shouted.
"Go home and stuff that White Mantel deep up your ass while you think of all your treachery and sedition!" I shouted.
"White Mantle? What's that?" the man played dumb and everyone around him looked like they weren't buying it."
"I would appreciate it if you could both stay and help in this situation." A tall Sylvari with smooth facial features like the great Groot and dark grey skin with long thin black leaves growing out of the top of his head pulled back into a ponytail with several cattails growing in it. Two round emerald eyes were framed with the traditional necromancer skull face paint, and he wore a black suit of the Verdant Executor armor with a splash of pale green accenting it. He had a Reaper Greatsword resting over his shoulder and I was having a weird out of body moment seeing this guy.
"I bring my own support team with me into battle," he smirked in reference to his abilities as a necromancer, "but having real adventurers backing me up is always welcome."
"Who are you?" Zojja asked the edgy looking Sylvari.
"Valiant Scythe Nightstalker, at your service ma'am." my once upon a time in-game avatar introduced himself."
"Fine!" Zojja huffed, "We'll help."
Zojja began tracking the Golem's energy trail to find the Queen which led us into the mansion where we found Logan kicking down every door and shouting 'Jenna!' as he searched every inch of the mansion for his missing queen.
"Get over here, dimwit!" Zojja shouted, "I got a lock on the Queen's signal."
Zojja lead us through the mansion and to a door guarded by a single man.
"He looks scrappy." Zojja commented, "Fuck him up for the glory of our unborn children!"
I got ready to wreck the guy when Scythe put a hand on my shoulder, "Allow me."
He held out a free hand and a portal opened behind the guy, and out poured a snake formed flesh golem thick as a tree trunk that silently wrapped around the man and started constricting.
This glorious bastard even got the cool necromancer powers I used to think about while playing the game all those years ago.
"Tell us what your group's plans are before I deem you uncooperative and really let my minion put the squeeze on you." And this guy has sick lines.
Would it be narcissistic to want to be friends with this guy?
"Fuck you… plant man." The guard huffed.
"There will be a weak link somewhere in your group." Sythe smirked as he clenched his fist causing his undead serpent to finish the guy off, "I'll just have to keep looking."
Zojja and I held back while Logan and Scythe breached the door and engaged the Separatist ambush in the basement.
"He is so cool." I told my mini lover.
"I thought that Trehearne broke the mold for powerful Sylvari Necros, but apparently the Pale Tree was just working on a bigger, better model." Zojja said, "The energy readings off that snake are enormous. It could probably solo a group of unprepared adventurers."
"Dude is big news, for sure." I added as we descended the stairs and saw that Scythe had summoned two more of those beasts in display of all men not being made equal in this world and he was interrogating a trio of Separatists and just offed one of them to intimidate the others. One immediately caved and revealed that they kidnapped all the bigwigs in an attempt to start some world war that their small extremist organization could profit from.
"Thank you for telling me that." Scythe nodded his head before his snakes killed the remaining prisoners and with a gesture all the nearby bodies dragged together into a pile that was consumed in inky dark magic and produced a trio of thickly muscled undead dog golems.
We pulled a lever to reveal a hidden escape tunnel and found the Norn representative at the peace talks bound and guarded by a Separatist Lieutenant who got so caught up fending off Scythe's dogs that she didn't even notice me come in with a big overhand strike that turned her head into a red paste on my hammer.
I slapped the Norn awake and Sigfast, the youngest son of the Knut Whitebear, joined our merry band as we continued cutting down terrorists on our way to rescue Queen Jennah.
We got attacked by a pair of roving bands of dogs on our way out of the escape tunnel before fighting an uphill battle against an entrenched enemy. I kicked things off with the Sigil of Blades into the Blinding Blade which created a trio of magically projects greaswords to hit the snipers up in their tree fort and I pulled those projections and the guys hit by them right into the sigil on the ground and comboed the Wrathful Whirl to hit just about everyone before smacking the ground with my hammer to generate a big explosion and a Sigil of Protection for my homies. I did this all while on fire and radiating that magical flame outwards at all my foes.
We moped up the survivors of my furious onslaught and freed the Iron Legion Tribune that had come to sign the peace treaty.
She joined us as we made our final push for the Queen.
Jennah had already slipped her bonds and was holding a defensive shield that looked capable of holding for days under the assault put up by the Seppies.
"Hey!" I shouted, "Why don't you all surrender?"
"Never!" Captain DeLanna shouted.
"Really, cause we are kind of covered in what's left of all the people you left behind on this venture. What makes you think you are going to be any different?" I asked.
"Victory or death!" she shouted to rally her terrified troops, "No cost is too high!"
DeLanna led her force of no name goons against a team of the most powerful adventurers in the world and got the predictable result.
I cleaved her clavicle to crotch with my divine greatsword and we moved on to the Queen.
"Jennah!" Logan did his best Forrest Gump impersonation.
"It is good to see you all unharmed." the Queen frostily sidestepped Logan's affections.
Poor Simp.
The Queen was an obvious cat person and Logan was a dog shaped like a man. He just wanted to slobber on her and hump her leg and keep her safe from any harm, and she wanted a man that would stabilize her perilous hold on the kingdom and father kids with an IQ over ninety five.
"Someone should just put him down already." Zojja commented as her one time friend came over.
"Zojja, Grax." He greeted us, "I can never thank you enough for helping me rescue the queen."
"She looked like she could have left at any time." I told him. "In fact, are we sure that isn't just a Mesmer clone and the real Queen is already back safe and sound?"
"Why don't you go and find out while I try to convince Logan that he needs to move on and find some work where people respect him again." Zojja shooed me off.
"Did I hear you say he was your lover earlier?" I heard Logan ask the little scientist.
"Hoho hell yeah." Zojja laughed.
"So is he really tiny down there?" this mother fucker is cruising for a bruising doubting my pipe.
"It is the exact opposite and that's what momma likes." Zojja growled.
"How though?" Logan was confused.
"Have you ever seen an Asura baby's head?" Zojja laughed and then shook her head at Logan's confused face, "I am stretchy down there!"
"Oh!" Logan stated, "Ohhhh… I didn't need to know that. Have you Asura invented anything for getting rid of memories people don't want anymore."
"I could have Mr. Sparkles perform some cognitive recalibration on you." Zojja offered.
"How does that work?" Logan sounded interested.
"My golem hits you in the head until the brain damage makes you forget." Zojja explained.
"Pass!" Logan shouted, "Pass, pass, pass!"
Big ol' chapter for everyone. Shout out to my Grandfather who turned 80 today. I wrote this chapter after leaving his birthday party which was part of a four day affair with most of my mother's side of the family at her house.
My kid killed it with my relatives.
As usual there are bonus chapers for every 1000 power stones, 100 reviews, and for donating at
ko - fi . com / jmanm
On a side note, how am I doing with a more sedate pacing. Are you guys getting a better picture of the characters, setting, and powers?
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