Bab 110: Revenge
"Oh, I've run into the Flame Legion a time or two. In fact, I think they are still pretty angry with me over how things shook down." I grinned as I chatted up a nubile young Countess.
Faren stood next to me unable to decide if he was envious or in awe of the way this hard to get woman was hanging on my every word. 'Pay close attention young buck,' I signaled with my eyes, 'You're gonna learn today.'
Or he would have if not for me catching Wanda out of the corner of my eye (a much diminished concept considering the loss of my 270 degree vision) turn green and hurry over to some bushes to hurl. Medusa, sweet heart that she is, helped hold her hair back.
"Excuse me, my dear." I begged the Countess's pardon, "There is a matter of some urgency I need to see to. Faren!" I barked startling the young man, "Ensure that the Countess is suitably entertained in my absence."
'Kid, if you can't seal the deal after I have left her this soggy you can consider your apprenticeship canceled.' I said with my eyes.
'I agree, sir.' he messaged me back, 'Cats really are better than dogs.'
I do believe our master-apprentice silent eye communication technique was only working one way.
As I approached Wanda and and Medusa, I overheard the later providing words of comfort for the former.
"Poor little Wanda cannot hold her party. Just like a little girl." Medusa spoke softly, "You puke, puke, puke. You are weak."
Such a sweet heart.
Medusa would have continued comforting Wanda if not for the fact that she too began vomiting into the bushes. I rushed over and was quickly holding two sets of hair back.
"Why is this happening?" Wanda groaned.
"Ha! Revenge!" Jack shouted as she leapt out from behind a nearby tree.
"Revenge for what?" Medusa moaned after wiping her mouth.
"For all the times you made fun of me back in Mass Effect for being a swollen baby factory!" Jack laughed, "Now suffer, skanks!"
"Please explain to me what is going on." I demanded from Jack.
"We picked up a lot of divinity in this world." Jack grinned, "It pushed us all the way up to quasi god status."
"Ah shit." I muttered then thought about the absolute bender I had been on across this continent, sticking it in every willing and able pussy I could find, "Ah shit!"
"What the hell does that mean?" Wanda growled.
"Grunt and I are more that three parts to one on the god to mortal ratio, so we no longer have DNA and instead just are." Jack explained.
"Explain in a way that makes sense to someone who is too nauseous to make logical leaps." Wanda commanded.
"It means that Jack and I can now breed with anyone, alongside a whole host of other awesome beni's." I told her.
"Ah shit." Wanda muttered, "I'm pregnant. I can't be pregnant. I still get off when thinking about how you killed my dad."
"What are the odds that the baby will be a Pegasus?" Medusa asked.
"Fucking zero." I told her.
"Good." Medusa nodded, "I am not having another horse come out of my birth canal."
"Move over bitches." Jack said as she pushed them aside and started puking herself.
"My kid is going to kid your kids' asses." Jack grinned after she finished ralphing.
Three pregnant partners along with hundreds of Kodan, Norn, Charr, and Human women I'd nutted in on the way down to Divinity's Reach from the Frostgorge Sound. That will put a damper in the adventuring spirit, but hey, I always said it was a shame I couldn't breed some real power into a pathetic gene pool. Now it is time to put my money where my mouth is.
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Unlike most fictional characters who get pregnant in the middle of an adventure, Jack, Wanda, and Medusa had nothing to prove and weren't going to go into combat with babies in their bellies so they can show that girls get it done. We all had a good laugh about the cheap drama authors use to up the stakes and show the costs of arrogance and all that trite shit.
With three kids on the way, we shifted gear away from adventuring and decided what we wanted to be doing during the down time created by the pregnancies. Ultimately, the choice was simple.
My connection to Hermeaus Mora allows him to view the worlds we go to through a looking glass. His field of view is limited, but far. As such, so long as a magic system is focused, but deep, Hermeaus Mora can view all of it with little effort. With more effort he can learn a system that is shallow, but wide reaching. In Tyria the Magic is as deep and wide as the ocean, and it was impressive that Mora managed to finish learning about the Archetypes and Crafting before petering out with about a quarter of an education from the Asuran College of Statics.
As such the greatest well of knowledge we could pool from without simply traveling across all the lands and learning the various cultural magics was South, in the Metrica Province among the Asura.
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"You can't really be thinking of leaving?" Faren asked us as we were marching through the south gates of Divinity's Reach, "You have only just arrived and the city is still clamoring about you and your heroics! You haven't even met my friend Lee! He fought at your side in Shaemoor and only just awoke. He will be awfully sad to have missed you."
"Tell your pal, Lee, we were sorry to miss him too, but we are moving on." I told my apprentice of a single day.
But you know what they say, 'A teacher for a day, a father for a lifetime.'
So Faren is my son.
We left the dandy and pushed south through Queensdale and into the Kessex Hills and holy shit is this place completely overrun by scum and villainy. We barely entered the region before a gang of highwaymen offered up their valuables to us.
We reacted with such joy at their generosity that even the Centaurs encamped south of us at the Earthworks were so moved by the sight that they pulled back all their outriders and scouts and watched us go without even saying a word. Truly the nobility of the human spirit can move even the most brutal of beasts.
Or the screams and gore were enough to scare even the Centaurs… Who can say?
The Ettins (a race of two headed greenskin trolls) had collapsed the Giant's pass, so we detoured through the Triskelion Vale. Interestingly enough, despite the heavy Centaur presence in the area, the people of the area were suffering from non-horseman related reasons and were actually engaging in commerce with the filthy savages.
Dafaq bros?
The Lionsguard Sheriff manning the hillfort, Kessex Haven, explained that despite the Centaurs actively attacking and enslaving the rest of humanity, Lion's Arch didn't give a fuck and had a peace treaty with them. Apparently no one ever explained to them that when a pack of Nazi's are rounding up all your neighbors, eventually there will be no one left to hold them off when they come for you.
Anyway, the people of the area weren't suffering from the Centaurs, they were suffering from the Krait (a reptilian race serpentine below the waist that live in the ocean and have invaded the coasts and inland waters of Tyria after suspected displacement by the unconfirmed deep sea dragon). Knowing about the Krait almost made me happy I wasn't a lizard any more. These scaly fucks are like amphibian Batarians and their only cultural exchange is the enslavement of others.
Arena net was truly dedicated to making their bad guys completely unsympathetic.
At least the Krait taste great, so they contribute something to the greater good.
PERTIMBANGAN PENCIPTA 
JManM
JManM For those wondering, Faren's friend Lee is one of my Alts in GW2, a Human Ascalonian Nobleman Ranger. He and several of my other alts will be competeing for the role of Pact Commander, with the frontrunner being my super edgy Sylvari Necromancer, Sythe Nightstalker.
Remember bonus chapters every thousand stones, hundred reviews, and for donanting at
ko - fi . com / jmanm
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