Bab 100: THE EDF DEPLOYS!
"Cutting it close there on the call to battle, Shep." I told him over the communication system on the bridge of the Kruban Bound III, "I was starting to worry about my kid showing up before the fight."
"It was a long and hard road to get here, but now is the time to end these Collectors once and for all." the Commander announced.
"Don't worry too much." I grinned, "I brought enough warheads to see us through this mess."
As our ships made the jump to the center of the galaxy though the Omega 4 Relay, I went up to my cabin to look at a photo of Jack who was not on this mission on account of being thirty six weeks pregnant.
I channeled the spirits of all the great Shepards before me who remained true to their Liara romance and all the idiots that did the same for Ashley Williams. I did this right before entering a four way with Linda, Wanda, and Kat, securing my place as the greatest pre suicide mission captain's cabin scene.
"Fire everything!" I shouted as we came through the Relay and were greeted by the Collector defense fleet.
It was a damn good thing I brought enough missiles to crack a small planet and the space between us and the Queen's Palace lit up like a badass scene from Gundam. I left the bridge of the Kruban Bound III and joined my strike force in the cargo bay where they all donned an Archwing system. I'd spent months designing and building these things and they were fun as hell to pilot when you aren't doing so from a keyboard and mouse, and goddamn I could pack some major dakka onto these things. I had a particular fondness for the quad barreled assault cannon known as the Grattler.
I led my fighters out into space where we mopped up the remaining resistance quickly and started hammering the defenses of the Queen's palace, securing the LZ for the Normandy to land while the Kruban Bound III's AI pilot would hold the position ready to engage any reinforcements that may come, but with the war crime level bombing I just pulled off on them, I'm not sure they have any ships left.
I activated the recall function on my Archwing and we began our ground game against the Collectors. The Queen's Guard in their dark armor fought tooth and nail for every inch of the palace we took, but were slowly losing the battle of attrition. The sounds of plasma autocannons never ceased, sending rivers of hot plasma bolts down range to keep them tucked into cover while we maneuvered to ever more advantageous positions. They attempted a few good ambushes at melee range by swarming from hidden passages, but our Spartan Krogan Powersuits proved themselves superior to their mil-tech prosthetic limbs and chassis.
As we pushed along the EDI plotted route to the heart of the Fortress, we entered an enormous chamber with stadium seats all around and on the center stage stood the incredibly long form of Kela De Tharn. Her mechanical body looked lumbering, but she quickly put that idea to rest by leaping in the air and pulling herself laterally with a grappling line while launching mini rockets from her legs and shoulders. She then leapt off the wall and landed in the center of our formation, putting many on their asses via shockwave before she leapt away and pelted people with shotgun blasts.
I leapt after her with hammer in hand.
"You're the one that killed Kryl!" she shouted as her shotgun shells petered out against my omni-shield, "You'll pay for that!"
"I doubt it." I responded and hit her with my hammer, sending her flying into the other side of the stands.
"GO!" I ordered my brothers, "I got this. Keep pushing the battle!"
Kela caught me with a teep kick that revealed a hidden boot shotgun that sent me to the ground.
The woman had some sick tricks, too bad I would soon be killing her.
It was an exhilarating fight, but I recovered near instantly from everything she tried to do to me, and she did not do the same from my reprisals. Eventually, one of her sturdy robot legs gave out and it was just a game of whack a mole after that.
I followed the path of carnage to find Mini Me pulling the head of Vay Hek out of his mecha combat frame and crushing the screaming politician in his hands.
"Nice, bro." I complimented his brutality.
"Someone had to shut him up." He shrugged and we continued on our way until we were stopped by Captain Vor.
"You go no further." he said before revealing the bombs he strapped to his body and running at us.
I thought quickly and threw Jacob at him as hard as I could, tripping the charging Collector Grineer officer up causing him to detonate without killing anyone that mattered.
"Well that explosion was disappointing." I commented on the rather unimpressive radius on that detonation.
"Jacob will be remembered as the hero this mission deserved, but never wanted." the Commander declared as we pressed into the throne room.
The Worm-taur Queens waited within, their deformed bodies turning snakelike below the belt.
"Fucking Krogan." the larger cursed, "Why can't you worthless reptiles just leave us to our business with the humans?"
"I fuck a lot of humans." I answered.
"You're here cause the human's let you get your dick wet with them?" The smaller harlequin-like queen asked.
"Yeah." I responded.
"I'll let you fuck me if you switch sides." she ran a hand down her petite upper body.
"Silence Worm." The elder queen shouted, "We will not parley with primitives."
"Ahh." the younger queen complained, "What's the point of having a pussy if it ain't getting fucked?"
If she wasn't some deformed technophile monster this younger queen would make for a sweet lover.
"I've heard enough of this horse shit." the Commander declared and shot the Queens with his Cain.
When the mushroom cloud cleared, I gave him a fist bump.
A little more exploring led us to the lab of Tyl Regor, the man weeping next to a pulsing orb.
"You will pay for what you have done today." Tyl shouted and pounded his fist into the ground.
"People keep telling me that." I smirked.
"You may have beaten us, but we are far lesser than we were in the past." Tyl insisted.
"We know, you guys were what's left of the Protheans." I sighed, "Already been through that shit."
"Ignorant reptile." Tyl spat, "This beacon has already sent its message into dark space. The Ravagers will come for you just as they came for us, and the Shadow of New Despair will settle on all your primitive worlds!"
"Does the term buggernaut mean anything to you?" I asked the distressed mad scientist.
"Good, you know the horror of what's to come!" Tyl shouted before pulling an axe off a nearby table and being beaten to death by my brothers.
"What do you know of what he was talking about?" the Commander asked me but I was already singing.
"To save our mother Earth from any alien attack
From vicious giant insects who have once again come back
We'll unleash all our forces, we won't cut them any slack
The EDF deploys!
Our soldiers are prepared for any alien threats
The navy launches ships, the air force send their jets
And nothing can withstand our fixed bayonets
The EDF deploys!
Our forces have now dwindled and we pull back to regroup
The enemy has multiplied and formed a massive group
We better beat these bugs before we're all turned to soup
The EDF deploys!
To take down giant insects who came from outer space
We now head underground, for their path we must retrace
And find their giant nest and crush the queen's carapace
The EDF deploys!
The air force and the navy were destroyed or cast about
Scouts, rangers, wing divers have almost been wiped out
Despite all this the infantry will stubbornly hold out
The EDF deploys!
Our friends were all killed yesterday, as were our families
Today we might not make it, facing these atrocities
We'll never drop our banner despite our casualties
The EDF deploys!
Two days ago my brother died, next day my lover fell
Today most everyone was killed, on that we must not dwell
But we will never leave the field, we'll never say farewell
The EDF deploys!"
"GOD I LOVE MY LIFE!" I shouted in joy.
PERTIMBANGAN PENCIPTA 
JManM
JManM So the Collector Grineer got rolled and have summoned the aliens that destroyed their empire, the Ravagers! Its time for bug mashing combat... whenever they show up. Followed by giant robots, mini death stars, dinosaurs, dragons and lots of other ridiculous shit. And they do it all because they are trolls.
Its time for endless WAAAGH!
You can contribute to the weekend bonus chapter stockpile at
ko - fi . com / jmanm
Bab 101: Don't Blink
I was elbow deep in the shit, struggling against an implacable enemy. I can look to my left and my right and find no allies there to provide support. It is all down to me, and my massive clawed lizard man hands.
Gently pinch the ankles and lift, wipe, wipe, wipe, wipe, wipe, did you get it all, check the up the back, wipe, wipe, wipe, hope you didn't miss any more shit, cream, get the kid to stop kicking and writhing, and stick the diaper flaps down comfortable and snug.
God, please send the bugs for me to destroy.
My son, Garth, is a mostly human baby, minus his blue lizard eyes and some secondary organs. Thank God he has high speed regeneration, cause the little monster grows diamond hard claws faster than we can clip them and isn't afraid to go full psycho on his own face. I had to program a cluster of nanomachines to constantly work his nails down, but hey, free whatever the fuck our claws are made of.
Needless to say, actually being a Dad was way less partying and eating people than I had figured. Especially since the kid was following a regular human growth curve. At this point in a Krogan boy's life cycle I'd be teaching him how to fight like a boss and the best ways to take a ship or settlement. How to spot an ambush and to always have a taste of the other side of the brick.
The kid couldn't even walk yet, but every time he says 'dada' and slaps me I want to cry tears of joy.
Being a Dad is way different when you don't hop your kids up on growth hormone and put them in age acceleration tubes with imprint education handling the grunt work of raising them.
Speaking of Grunt. The kid was having a great time beating the various Clan Chiefs of Tuchanka into submission and worship of the God Emperor of Krogankind. The females were mostly resistant to the new religion even though I cured the Genophage within forty eight hours of stepping onto Tuchanka, but the males were rapidly converting when it was revealed that the retrovirus I invented gets your rope game on point.
The Tankborne were growing in numbers swiftly as I demanded a tribute of females from every clan before ending the Genophage. I thought inflicting fatherhood on all my brothers would make them share in my misery, but the bastards are having a great time. Its like they are purposefully trying to rub it in my face every time they come over to my palace and show me pictures of Little Timmy's first varren kill, or Tiny Terry smashing pyjaks into paste.
It's like, 'Hey guys, I fixed our atmosphere and made it rain.'
'That's neat, Grax, check out Becky's perfect double leg takedown.'
It's like they are mocking me with all their violently capable children.
Nah, they don't have the organizational capacity to pull something like that off. Pushing that crazy idea down into the depths of my brain, I took the little guy back to the bedroom where Jack would lay with him every night. Tucking the guy in under a cover he immediately started kicking off of him I went back to my lab to get some mother fucking SCIENCE done. The rest of the galaxy is preparing for war against the emergent Krogan and I have to prepare for war against them and the Ravagers.
We live in excellent times.
"Dad!" Garth shouted as I was in the middle of a holo-call with Grunt as he led the defenses of our oldest settlement against the Ravagers who had upped their game by dropping Hectors in the middle of the city. Jokes on them, we have been ready to fight their giant robots for years.
"Boy!" I shouted back with a grin on my face, "Get over hear and learn some war."
"You're late for dinner, and the moms are pissed." Garth yelled then ran off.
"Sucks to be you, man." Grunt laughed as he took a bite out of a giant spider leg, "We get to fight all day and eat all night, while you are stuck at home raising those little human looking things you call kids."
"Wouldn't trade it for the world, Grunty. Just let me know when the real big bastards show up so I can show all you whippersnappers how it's done." I told him as I got ready to sign off.
"Ha. Like I'd let you take the glory of such a kill from us!" Grunt declared before I ended the call.
Making my way up to the dining room from my underground lab, I grinned at all the huge portraits of me and my family. Around the table sat Jack, Wanda, Garth, and his sisters Jessica and Victoria. Kat and Linda were out on a two week hunting trip, slaying giant insects and the other beasts that currently plagued Tuchanka. They took Kalros as a personal challenge, and at the rate they were going, might one day actually kill the damn thing.
I sat at the head of the table and put my hands together for the evening prayer, "Let us pray. Dear God Emperor of Krogankind, thank you for this family, this house, and the giant monster enemies that grace this table. Please continue to bless us with prosperity and the good violence. Amen."
"Amen!" all the kids shouted and Jack giggled.
We had yet to tell the kids that I was the God Emperor of Krogankind.
As I slapped an Erginuse to the ground with the Hammer of Might, a vibrosword tore out of the side of its neck and my son emerged covered in blood and viscera, standing eight feet tall in his power armor, and glowing brightly in holographic protection.
"Fastest Erginuse kill ever!" he shouted in victory and I had never felt more proud of another person's achievements, "Take that you Godzilla rip off!"
As a flight of enemy dragons made the variants first appearance on the field Garth rested his sword on his shoulder.
"We have defeated many forms of the enemy." He stated, "There are no enemies we haven't taken down. Let's add this new enemy to the list of our kills. Today, we will be dragon slayers."
Holy shit, my son is awesome.
I emerged from the hospital room and held a thumbs up to my waiting family. Today I delivered the first of my grandchildren that I ever cared about. Garth had hooked up with a refugee fleeing the fallen planet of Earth. A rather common occurrence these days among the squishy races. It was getting hard to find Salarians to eat after the way the Battle for Sur'Kesh went. The Turians were still holding on and the Asari had Jean to handle the big stuff. Girl had really come into her own with those psyker powers.
Though all the bullshit going on in the galaxy, Tuchanka welcomed the Ravagers and all the crazy shit they brought with them. The giant bugs were either a feast or fertilizer, and everything was looking pretty fat and green these days. All their robots and ships got processed in the various nano-forges I built underground. The weak, the slow, and the stupid got culled from our gene pool, leaving only a progressively stronger and smarter Krogan species to inherit our revitalized world.
We were non stop winning.
And best of all was my growing family. Garth's wife made us a Tankborne Gram, a little near clone of his daddy that didn't claw its way out his mom like we made her think he would. She didn't like me for all the jokes, but fuck her, she exists to give me grandchildren.
When the Asari Flotilla turned up in Krogan space I knew we had won. Not only had the other species lost all their territory under the attack of the Ravagers, but Krogan controlled space grew more and more each year. My Tankborne Astartes were untold legion, opening new theatres of war to lead the lessers of our species in a glorious game of survival against the Ravagers and their seemingly endless resources.
Every day thousands died in battle only to be replaced by the snarling youth, eager to shed blood for the glory of their Emperor. And above it all existed my children and grandchildren. Veritable titans on the battlefield, unstoppable berserkers that slayed both bug and robot alike.
This conflict would never end… and I was bored with it.
We'd taken the worst the Ravagers could achieve and cast it to the stones, shattering it under the weight of our fists. While the constant warfare had developed me and my family into perfect economic warriors with an incredible sixth sense for danger, I'd stopped advancing decades ago.
And so I delivered a deadline to everyone for when we'd move on to the next great adventure. Once the Krogan were the last species standing against the Ravagers we'd move on.
I held a feast on Tuchanka, an endless supply of bug meat and the Jade Emperor's wine over the course of seven time seven days making it the greatest feast the galaxy had ever hosted. Hell I'd even invited the Ravagers themselves to attend, but they politely declined and informed me that they would only increase their dastardly attacks on my worlds after I left.
Jokes on them, I'd be unveiling my own line of giant robots at the end of the feast and mine were way cooler than theirs using tandem pilots linked through a neural interface that I totally didn't rip off of Pacific Rim. The first one, not the second. That film sucked.
After telling the whole galaxy to suck my balls cause I was the best that ever was, Jack and the girls took me to The Good Evening so we could make our very sexy exit from this verse.
Important Author's Note below.
PERTIMBANGAN PENCIPTA
JManM
JManM
I don't know what I am doing wrong people. Reader growth and participation is down in the gutter these days. I looked around at the other popular stories and realized I am below Stacking the Deck in votes consistantly and Jordino doesn't even update that story any more. All he did this month was put out a poll and the result.
So its time to game the system like Holy Joker did and offer bonus chapters for every 1000 powerstones this story gets in a voting cycle. Unlike him, I don't hide any chapters behind a pay wall, so that means I'll be spending a whole lot of time writing every day if this plan actually works.
I hope it does, cause I love this story and it seems like a lot of people do too.
Also if you could all give me a Cornbringer Simp level reveiw that would be sweet. I swear to God that guy can't write a focused plot or a charismatic protagonist if you held a gun to his head, but his reveiw section is full of simps shouting about how they haven't even read his story, but they know it will be awsome because it's Cornbringer!
I'll stockpile a bonus chapter for every hundred reveiws as well. Even if they aren't Cornbringer Simp level.
Hopefully all that activity will attract more readers and possibly more donors. I can sing the praises of MrBadMan17, SeekingRaven, and KroganWarlord all day, but I saw a story with a patron shoutout section as long as my arm and it only updates once or twice a month. What the fuck are people paying him for, cause it isn't more chapters.
Anyway, you can support me and my family at
ko - fi . com / jmanm
Status Power Mingguan
200+ Peringkat
Power 
0 Power
stone 
Komentar Paragraf