Bab 98: Spartan Krogans
"So what are we looking at Doc?" The Commander asked Mordin in his mobile lab on Horizon where the Salarian and I were processing Grineer corpses to determine what the fuck they are.
For him it was a fascinating series of dissections and chemical analysis, for me it was a neat several days spent with an alternate version of my amphibian bro who I am finally smart enough to hang with in his element.
"Collectors are species of clones with very limited origin source." the salarian super scientist spoke, "Shows signs of extreme genetic degradation and machine augmentation to cover birth defects and enhance baseline parameters. DNA analysis predicts ninety seven percent certainty that Collectors are remnant Protheans!"
"The Collectors are the Protheans?" The Commander asked in typical dramatic reveal Shepard fashion.
Mordin just grinned and nodded.
"Fascinating." he added.
"Is there any indication of what they are harvesting the colonists for?" Shepard questioned.
"Can only speculate, but believe them to be converting human bodies into BioGel used in cloning process to repair degraded genetics and prevent defects." Mordin answered.
"That is a weirdly specific speculation." I looked askance at Mordin as he backed up hella sus.
"What, would never test human conversion to BioGel for Salarian skin care products. Completely unethical…and so smooth." He whispered the last part.
"Fucking, Xenos." The Commander shook his head and sighed before leaving.
"How smooth we talking?" I asked my SCIENCE homie.
"Make old Krogan female look less like ballsack." Mordin stated and went back to his work.
"That's some good shit." I nodded my head and helped him.
While I was working the sweet science angle with Mordin, my brothers were loading up Grineer gear into my nanohive's worksite and grinned as the swarm of tiny machines produced armor and weapons for them. A little late night coding on my end produced the software needed to run my deadly trio of passive powerups, and a few minutes of retrofitting on my suit allowed me to spark up my glowing orange holographic armor for the first time in eighteen years.
I didn't cry tears of joy.
Getting Devastation Mode to work with my plasma weapons was a bit of a mental stretch, but the field tests showed 10 out of 10 fucking awesome.
Linda told me she loved me after seeing the destruction her sniper rifle did with all the technomancy. It was tender.
As for the Tankborne and mini me… I may have gone overboard hopping them up on retrovirus and growth hormones and put them in a growth accelerator tank so I could perform Spartan style augmentations on them and garb them in the most advanced combat suites in several sci-fi galaxies, but who didn't want Spartan Krogans?
Who am I asking for validation from? I am the mother fucking God Emperor of Krogankind and I will turn my brother-sons into Astartes if I want to.
Needless to say, the Grineer were fucked.
"Okay, this shit is getting intense!" Jacob whinged in the Horizon Command Center mess hall, "The Demon King Krogan has spread his crazy to the other Krogan and now they are all eight and half feet tall and toting machine guns that can tear a heavy mech apart in less than ten rounds. I fucking told you we should have spaced them. Now it's too late! They are all in pressurized EVA capable powersuits. We'll need to bring the Normandy's main guns to get rid of one of them. And there are like fifty of them!"
"Jesus, Jacob." Miranda sighed, "Could you be any less cool right now."
"You're only saying that because you got hypnotized by his dick when you saw him coming out of the showers!" Jacob shouted, "Anything with a cock that incredible is suspect! You've been hypnotized by his hog and I won't let mankind end like this!"
Jacob got up and ran out as I sat down with several trays full of the local giant bug meat. The stuff gave humans the shits, but for me and the boys it was prime meat just waiting to get in our bellies.
"Ah Miranda." I grinned, "I've missed you for a long time girl."
"Oh, were we close in your universe?" she smirked.
"Very intimate." I said softly.
I emerged from the apartment Miranda commandeered for her stay the next day and my brothers were all outside. I gave them a thumbs up and they all began the celebration.
A week later the Alliance finally showed up to provide relief for the devastated colony and freeing us up to leave the people we saved guilt free. My crew loaded up on our new Frigate, The Kruban Bound III, a ship that put the Normandy in its inferior place made using recycled Grineer equipment, destroyed buildings from around the colony, and a Spartan power supply.
"Alright Ren-Shep." I grinned, "You don't need me to hold your hand while you go get your crew together and a ready for the mission, so call me in if the Collectors need smacking around, EDI has my contact info. And remember this always. Do not listen to Jacob's opinion about anything. The guy is just a good enough an actor to make you think he isn't a retard, but take him up on one of his suggestions and that façade shatters real quick."
"Alright! Fuck you you giant Xeno lizard dick head!" Jacob shouted in rage.
"Why don't you go track down the father that abandoned you, you walking talking unflattering stereotype. How did the people that made Captain The Mother Fucking Man Anderson make the only black companion so fucking colossally bad! Kai Lang is almost a step up from you and he ruins the third game!"
God it feels good to get that off my chest again.
"How are you holding up, Jean?" I asked as I entered the woman's cabin.
"Well…" she pursed her lips, "After falling out of love, I have been locked in combat with sci-fi mercs and a demented clone army, and the only people I know are all my former lovers and and they are running head long into the fighting. So I am doing meh." She nodded her head, "That's about right. My heart hurts like hell, but at least there is a whole galaxy full of assholes for me to share that pain with."
"That's the spirit!" I cheered the girl's progress, "No matter what happens and may change, you will always have a place with us, Jean. For however long you want it."
"Thanks, Grunt." Jean almost smiled, "I'm scared. A big part of me wants the Phoenix back in charge, filling me with all that passion and certainty. And another part of me is horrified that I would be happy to be controlled just so I don't have to feel so alone anymore."
"I get it." I chuckled, "I'm not exactly the kind of guy a good Christian girl grows up dreaming about marrying. Hehe, I don't look a thing like Jesus except these sick muscles." I flexed the double bicep, "Anyone ever tell you how swole Jesus must have been? The guy was a carpenter before power tools!"
I left Jean's cabin feeling like I'd done my good deed for the day, which is why I put her on suicide watch, cause I don't trust myself to do good things for people anymore. Bake a lovely roast in clay out a person's leg, none better. Liver on a lovely bed of fava beans, I'm the guy. Make some distraught girl's day better. Better safe than sorry and call in the watch dogs.
"I'm back baby!" I shouted as I walked up to Aria T'loak on her deck overseeing the action at the Afterlife nightclub on Omega, "God I missed this couch."
"I have no idea who or what you are." She shook her head, "The only reason you got this meeting is because you showed up on my station in the most advanced frigate anyone has ever seen being crewed by what can only be described as supersoldiers."
"That's cold, baby." I smirked, "But I guess we don't have any kids in this timeline."
"Crazy and dangerous." Aria leaned back into her comfy couch, "Things never change on this station. What do you want from me?"
"Friendship to start." I smiled at my lover's alternate, "And I can guarantee you ain't never had a friend like me."
I always loved it when I got Aria to smile for real.
PERTIMBANGAN PENCIPTA 
JManM
JManM First Bonus Chapter of the weekend. These chapters are flowing sweeter than a soda stream, so let me know if they taste as sweet to you in the comments section.
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Bab 99: Mush, Pony!
God, it felt good to be a space pirate again, and with the Batarian Hegemony just sitting there like a lemon, just waiting for me to come wreck their asses and take their stuff I got the double whammy of being a space pirate and a noble hero taking a stand against slavery in the galaxy.
Looks like we've done another U-turn on that topic.
I feel like someone should make an anime of my adventures in space called 'Is it wrong to kill all these aliens and take their stuff?' and drop a Hestia in my lap. Maybe not. Cock might kill a little thing like that. But it'd be fun to find out though.
While I thought these complex thoughts on rape, pillage, and anime tiddies Jack made her way up from the bed and too the bathroom to ralf her dinner up.
Been a real long time since she's done anything like that.
"Eh… you want some help there, champ?" I asked the woman currently praying to the sci-fi porcelain throne.
"Fuck off. I got this shit." She denied like a boss.
"You want to get a med-scan done?" I offered, "The med bay is only one deck down."
"It's just some nausea…" Jack refused, "Its just been so long since I felt like this it took me a while to figure out what the fuck was going on."
"I'm sure it's not a sign of anything." I rolled over and went back to sleep.
In the coming weeks Jack only had a few more instances of nausea before her immune system finished destroying whatever Space AIDS variant was bothering her, and Jack kept leading the boarding parties as we tore our way through Batarian space freeing slaves and slaving ships to sell back on Omega. We were making money hand over fist, which was a real good thing because feeding a crew of Spartan Krogan was fucking expensive, or at least it would be if the Batarians didn't always bring dinner with them. Feeding Jack was getting pretty scary though, and four months into our glorious raiding season she couldn't fit into her armor anymore.
"Damn babe." I sighed, "We are going to have to start cutting your rations because this belly is getting ridiculous."
"I know, but I am just so fucking hungry all the time. I just don't get what is going on." She complained as she absentmindedly rubbed her swelling abdomen.
"How the fuck can you two not understand that she is pregnant!" Wanda yelled from her place on our bed.
"Don't be silly Wanda." I laughed, "Jack and I can't have kids. Our DNA is way wonky."
"I know. I know. You don't have DNA strands, you have DNA megastructures. But how did you two geniuses not figure out that after she ate Krogan everything matches up now?"
"Huh." I frowned, "She's right. Gonna have to get my pull out game back on point."
"Look on the bright side." Wanda smiled as she spread her legs, "You can cum in me all you want."
Can I get a fuck yeah for silver linings? Or pink in this case.
"Yep you are definitely pregnant with a son." I read off the data from Jack's med scan, "Who knows what kind of hell beast this boy is going to be though."
"Isn't that a major cause for concern?" Asked Jean who had taken up medical studies to help out all the people we were freeing from Batarian captivity, "The whole birthing strategy would have to be built around the shape of the child."
"Chill girl." Jack chuckled, "With high speed regeneration like we have the kid could chew his way out of my belly at lunch and I'd be holding him at the dinner table that evening like nothing happened."
"Fuck me I hope it doesn't happen like that." I shook my head, "I have to like the guy afterwards and eviscerating my wife would be a shit first impression."
"You both are taking this really well." Jean commented.
"We've had a life full of rolling with the most outlandish punches anyone has ever had to roll with." Jack laughed, "It was about time something normal happened to us."
"I've been a father thousands of times." I shrugged, "With my experience ruining my children's lives I have a what not to do roadmap that I can use to avoid so many pitfalls the kid's life is bound to be awesome! I literally couldn't do a worse job if I tried."
"Oh my God, I used to sleep with this guy." Jean muttered while looking down at the floor in absolute defeat.
"We are going to kill people and take their stuff and eat them!" I cheered while pumping my fist, "It's going to be a non-stop father-son party from now till the end of foreva!"
This must be how Omni-Man felt when he had Mark. Planning father-son world conquest is tight.
"You've got Grax, God Emperor of Krogankind, Breaker of Chains, and currently eater of this plantation owning Batarian bastard." I greeted while I sat in the luxurious throne located in a gold gilded office on a major Batarian plantation and enjoyed a savory gravy covered roast with vegetables.
"Grax, put the call on full display, I've got someone interested in business with you." Aria spoke on the other end of the line and I placed a holo emitter on the desk just far enough that it wouldn't interfere with the visual presentation of my dinner.
"Oh hey, Liara!" I smiled as a pair of Asari were projected in a warm orange over the desk, "I haven't seen you in like, eighteen years. What's new girl?"
"This is the first time we've met." Liara answered, "But Aria has informed me of your…eccentric existence and you come recommended by someone I trust to shoot straight with me, and he mentioned that you may have a possible solution to a problem I have been working slavishly to fix for a long time now."
"Your beef with the Shadow Broker, right?" I chuckled while I fondly remembered laying hands to the big Yahg in an epic fist fight. "I can have that shit resolved fast. You want to come with or do you just want confirmation the job is done?"
"I am on Omega right now." Liara told me and I nodded my head.
"Mush, pony!" Grunt shouted at the ball-gagged and saddled former Shadow Broker as he rode him around the totally bitchin ship on Hagalaz.
It felt bad doing a former enemy dirty like this, but it was pretty fucking hilarious watching my brothers arguing about who's turn it is to ride one of the most powerful men in the galaxy like a horse. That is some next level big dick power move shit.
"It almost feels unreal how easy this was." Liara stated as we looked out the window at the eternal storm that chased the slowly setting sun.
"Time travel shenanigans for the win girl." I laughed and knocked back the Horn of Party Hardy full of wine from the private stock of the Jade Emperor.
Dude has taste.
"Plus with the way I have integrated the tech of several advanced galaxies together, my Clan are the strongest warriors in almost all of sci-fi." I added.
"Is that what everything is for you. Just an unfolding fiction." she shook her head, "I don't like the way that makes me feel."
"I've always viewed life as an endless series of parallel narratives and it is up to each of us to make sure that we never become supporting characters in our own stories." I told Liara, "Moving through a series of fictional universes doesn't change that."
"And these women you have collected around you like a pack of trading cards?" Liara questioned, "How tenuous is your grip on reality and sentient agency when you do things like that?"
"Jack and Kat are the only two I pursued." I admitted, "Linda is more Jack's lover than mine. Jean and Wanda came to us themselves."
"And now Jean is looking for a way out and has no idea where to find it." she stated.
"Yep." I nodded, "The girl is powerful, educated, and very wealthy. She'll land on her feet wherever she ends up. Whether that is with us or out in the galaxy."
"I didn't expect you to be okay with her leaving." Liara admitted while looking quite embarrassed, "I've been building you up in my head as this unreasonable savage hoarding mates like shiny baubles. I am sorry."
"Jeez Liara," I teased, "you make me sound like some kind of violent madman. What exactly brought this on."
"Jean asked if she could stay with me." Liara said, "It was rather sudden, but I am quite taken with her and the attraction seems mutual."
"Damn." I chuckled, "I just got played by Mrs. Steal Your Girl. Good thing you aren't a male, otherwise I'd have to kill you."
"Thank the goddess for double standards!" Liara threw her hands up in the air in mock praise.
"Amen sister." I laughed, "If I didn't have double standards I wouldn't have any."
PERTIMBANGAN PENCIPTA
JManM
JManM
Alright, so Jack is pregnant and Jean proves that you can leave this harem in ways other than a body bag.
I'll get the next bonus chapter out tonight.
Contribute to next week's bonus chapter stockpile at
ko - fi . com / jmanm
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