Bab 97: Tankborne
"Red!" I shouted.
"Fasta!" he screamed.
"Purple!" I yelled.
"Stealfy!" He responded.
"More…" I led.
"Dakka!" He followed.
"This man's education is perfect and he is ready for the grimdark future and endless waaagh." I patted my younger brother on the shoulder and grinned in satisfaction.
"What the fuck was that?" Young Jack shouted.
"That was my husband being a huge geek," Jack face palmed, "and the universe rewarding him for it… again."
"What is your name, boy?" I asked the rejected super Krogan.
"I am… Bonehammer!" he decided.
"Damn kid," I smirked, "With a name like that you can easily transition to porn if the whole warrior thing doesn't work out."
Bonehammer slapped his shot gun and grinned, "It will work out."
"Good man." I nodded, "Here's the team, and I am the leader. Follow me to glory."
"Yes, Battlemaster!" he shouted.
Similar scenes to this played out throughout the day as I followed my nose to hunt down an entire platoon of my rejected brothers. We descended on Okeer's lab as a furious fraternal tide of violence and gore, often tearing Jedore's Blue Sun mercenaries limb from limb. They shattered open the tanks and freed our still growing brothers as I ascended the stairs and prepared for Atonement with the Father.
"What the fuck are…" Okeer didn't get to finish his sentence as I punched him in the face and knocked him ass over hump.
I squared up with the Krogan in the tank, my younger self… sorta.
"I didn't get to see this last time." Jack said as she joined me.
"Me neither." I sighed and crossed my arms over my armored chest.
"Still bugs me how the guy stuffed us all into armor in these tanks." I wondered aloud, "Once his jaw heals up I might even ask him."
More people filled into the room and soon the large space was crowded by tightly packed Krogan supersoldiers.
"Free him! Free him! Free him!" they began chanting and so I obliged them in the most Krogan way possible.
I headbutted the glass.
The little Krogan gasped as he breathed air rather than dissolved oxygen for the first time and he looked around him, startled by all the chanting people and then up at me.
"What's your name, runt." I growled down at him as he rose up.
"I'm not Runt!" he shouted, "I'm Grunt!"
The cheers of the assembled Krogan ratified the boy's name.
"Then I guess that makes me Battlemaster Grax." I grinned as I took up my former alias, "And today, in this room, I declare the formation of Clan Tankborne! With an E on the end so that people know we mean business!"
"Tankborne! Tankborne! Tankborne!" my easy to please brothers took up a new chant.
I spread my arms out and raise my chin, "Follow me brothers, and I will forge you into the greatest fighting force the galaxy has ever seen!"
That got the obvious reaction of unanimous approving cheers.
"As for you…" I walked over to Okeer who was being prevented from leaving by the pressed bodies of his rejected sons, "I decided I don't want answers, just vengeance for all the brothers you threw to these Blue Suns worms!"
I thrust both my clawed hands into his wide neck and pulled his head off, the spine dangling under it.
My brothers howled as I raised up our abominable father's head and I felt the joy of once more being amongst my people. People who really get me.
"Shepard," Miranda Lawson addressed the Commander in the conference room, "You were supposed to come back with one Krogan, not a pack of raving lunatics and the head of that one Krogan."
"I make the decisions on this ship," the Commander countered, "Not you, and not Cerberus."
"I recommend we space the Cargo Bay before this… thing, and its crew can seize the vessel." Jacob Taylor once more provided his 'wise' counsel.
"Fucking hell man." I grumbled, "You need to write everything you want to say down and hand it to a smart person to approve before you speak, cause in the years I have known you, you have never once said anything that wasn't immediately proven completely fucked."
"You don't know me, Xeno!" Jacob yelled.
"Grax here is an interdimensional traveller who originates in a similar universe to ours." the Commander interrupted our pissing match which was about to devolve into me whipping my cock out and pissing on Jacob, "I've seen his analog in this universe, it's one of the Krogan currently in the Cargo Bay. He and his team have not only already beaten their version of the Collectors, but are the most experience and powerful combatants I have ever seen. They are on this mission and if you have a problem with that we can drop you off on our next trip to Omega."
"Actually; Commander," EDI interrupted, "We are making an emergency trip to Horizon, where the colony is currently under Collector attack."
"Then it is a good thing we have a cargo bay full of Krogan super soldiers praying for a fight." the Commander smirked.
"Send me what you have on the Collectors and I'll get the boys briefed." I nodded to the Commander and made my way out of the conference room.
"These guys are the Grineer." I stated as I watched the film of the Grineer attack on Freedom's progress.
Rather than the Seeker Swarms that were such a minor inconvenience in the last go around, the Grineer version of the Collectors simply jammed communications with their massive ship and dropped in ground forces to take the colonists. From the violence on display and the gathering of all the corpses it was obvious that whatever use the Collectors had for human's this time, they didn't need them alive for it.
From the look of things their guns hit like truck-sama and their armor turns them into bipedal tanks, so these fucks look like they are roughly level eighty Warframe content. Lovely.
At least Lieutenant Kril got hosed down by gunfire by the Colonists and had to have his butt buddy Vore pull him out so we aren't dealing with any invulnerability bullshit mechanics.
With my nanite hive currently pumping out more advanced weapons using all the Blue Suns gear we looted from Korlus, we would have the advantage on these degrading clone mechaphile bastards.
I tried to go GreyGoo back planet side and it didn't work. The nanomachines made using Mass Effect materials had problems with heat generation and charge life. Outside of a well controlled NanoForge they were fucking useless, so we'd have to wait till I get a setup on Omega for us to realy start pumping out some goodies.
I led the Tankborne and my battle harem into a familiar LZ on the fringes of the colony that had already spent hours fighting against the Collector Grineer assault. We would push forward like an armored column into the fighting while Shepard would be leading the Cerberus forces which included a marine platoon in addition to his elite fireteam along our flank, allowing then to outmaneuver any forces trying to slow us down.
As for my own elite team, Linda and Kat would be moving as a pair though the colony and engaging the enemy at a speed those Grineer bastards should be used to from the asspoundings the Tenno deliver to them on the reg. Jack and Jean would be providing heavy pyscher artillery fire to blast through any entrenched positions, while mini me and Wanda followed lock step with me to lead the Clan into its first real battle against a worthwhile foe.
It was all fucking glorious.
The Grineer flowed off their ship like an endless tide of fearless berserkers, charging at us with glowing hot cleavers, trying to pin us down with squads of lancers and their mass produced rifles, or hoping to corral us into their heavy units, the bombards and the female only heavy gunners. They attacked us with flame throwers and buzz saw launchers, and their rhinoceros like hounds the Drahk.
My brothers and I responded with heavy machine gun fire of our own, plasma rounds in my case and Wanda's delivering massive impacts and scorching heat to the armored foe. With Linda providing a rapid barrage of sniper fire that took out VIP targets faster than we could identify them and Kat acting like an adamantium bulwark for her and the occasional perfectly timed flanking maneuvers from Shepard and his forces we pushed through a sea of bodies to the heart of the colony to find Ashley Williams leading the dwindling defenses while screaming about getting the colonies Guardian Lasers to shoot straight.
Shepard didn't get time to talk with his old teammate as Captain Vor and his pal Lieutenant Hammer lead an elite team of lancers and heavy gunners to escort a platoon of bombards to come and blow up the colonies internal defenses.
They would of gotten away with it too if I didn't take Kril hauling his hammer over his shoulder as a request to duel and leap into combat with Volendrung swinging overhead into an explosive entry that put everyone not turned to paste into any nearby walls. The mostly machine Kril pulled himself out of the crater, sparking and hissing, and tried to swing his spiked Brokk hammer at me, sending out a cryo wave that I met with a flame breath that overpowered it and tore over the Lieutenant.
Seeing his boy burning up, Vore pulled his team back while firing his laser pistol at me.
"Unleash the Ghouls!" He yelled into a wrist mounted communication device.
The Collector Cruiser began blaring an alarm and the regular grineer forces pulled back while it launched armored pods into the colony which burst open revealing the completely insane and disposable body horror shock troopers began pouring out of the ground wielding close combat gear including arm mounted drills and saws. They also exploded into toxic clouds upon death as a final fuck you to existance.
I fucking loved it.
Gunning down hordes of technophile abominations with my brothers took me back to my childhood playing Nazi Zombies with my bros. Despite the general horror around us and the screams of the dying, we were here having a great time applying copious dakka to relentless and single minded foes.
If only all family gatherings could be this glorious and cathartic.
The battle didn't end when EDI corrected the laughable targeting systems of the colonies main defense battery, driving the Collector ship away. It ended hours later when the final pockets of Ghouls and Grineer soldiers who failed to retreat were wiped out.
"That was awesome!" Wanda shouted and high fived mini-me before pulling a rope of intestine off of her shoulder.
"The only thing that would make this day better was if these disgusting fucks were edible." Grunt agreed.
"You fucking Krogan think this was a good day!" Shouted Delan the mechanic before I shot him in the face.
Wasn't going to listen to that bitch a second time through.
PERTIMBANGAN PENCIPTA 
JManM
JManM I have to apologize for the rapid finish to the X-Man Evolution / Does Voldemort Even Lift, Bro? arc. I started getting more and more dissapointed as I watched each episode looking for content to adapt.
Unlike Star Wars were I could watch an episode of Clone Wars and be inspired to write a scene like Sidious attacking Grunt in his home like he did Maul and Savage, I only found episode after episode of shit I wouldn't want to be any part of. I got down about how this part of my childhood I remembered so fondly actually sucked. So I just put her down like Old Yeller, as swiftly and painlessly as possible.
I didn't want to start getting disrespectful to the source material or start having to fix it by pulling comic book renditions out to replace thier poor TV show counterpart. It led to a dissappointing arc, and for that I am sorry.
I go were the day takes me and sometimes that is sword fighting Darth Jar Jar on the roof of the Senate and sometimes that is throwing the towel in on a verse that dissapointed me.
Fortunately, the next two arcs are entirely plotted out and I have replaced the Collectors and Reapers with enemy factions that are actually fun to fight.
The Fate arc is were I am ready to see an influx of people delcaring their departure from my story as Grunt, now Grax, is going to lose a lot of what makes him the space lizard we all love. It started this chapter with him passing the name onto his younger counterpart in a bit of subtle foreshadowing. They've come full circle and it is time for change.
And no, this isn't me getting off on hurting my character, it just a continuation of me not being afraid to change a guy with no true set identity. For better or worse, Grax engages, and Fate is the kind of verse were participation is suffering and cruel asshat frat boys have a dimensional treasurey capable of firing anti-world lances and anti-divine chains at you.
And your King Arthur is actually a chick who grows up to be hot, which is confusing but hot so it works. And Ilya always dies because it makes more sense to put her heart in Shinji cause we really needed another reason to hate him.
Anyway. Fun times ahead for me. Dread for all of you.
Donate at ko - fi . com / jman
TTFN!
Bab 98: Spartan Krogans
"So what are we looking at Doc?" The Commander asked Mordin in his mobile lab on Horizon where the Salarian and I were processing Grineer corpses to determine what the fuck they are.
For him it was a fascinating series of dissections and chemical analysis, for me it was a neat several days spent with an alternate version of my amphibian bro who I am finally smart enough to hang with in his element.
"Collectors are species of clones with very limited origin source." the salarian super scientist spoke, "Shows signs of extreme genetic degradation and machine augmentation to cover birth defects and enhance baseline parameters. DNA analysis predicts ninety seven percent certainty that Collectors are remnant Protheans!"
"The Collectors are the Protheans?" The Commander asked in typical dramatic reveal Shepard fashion.
Mordin just grinned and nodded.
"Fascinating." he added.
"Is there any indication of what they are harvesting the colonists for?" Shepard questioned.
"Can only speculate, but believe them to be converting human bodies into BioGel used in cloning process to repair degraded genetics and prevent defects." Mordin answered.
"That is a weirdly specific speculation." I looked askance at Mordin as he backed up hella sus.
"What, would never test human conversion to BioGel for Salarian skin care products. Completely unethical…and so smooth." He whispered the last part.
"Fucking, Xenos." The Commander shook his head and sighed before leaving.
"How smooth we talking?" I asked my SCIENCE homie.
"Make old Krogan female look less like ballsack." Mordin stated and went back to his work.
"That's some good shit." I nodded my head and helped him.
While I was working the sweet science angle with Mordin, my brothers were loading up Grineer gear into my nanohive's worksite and grinned as the swarm of tiny machines produced armor and weapons for them. A little late night coding on my end produced the software needed to run my deadly trio of passive powerups, and a few minutes of retrofitting on my suit allowed me to spark up my glowing orange holographic armor for the first time in eighteen years.
I didn't cry tears of joy.
Getting Devastation Mode to work with my plasma weapons was a bit of a mental stretch, but the field tests showed 10 out of 10 fucking awesome.
Linda told me she loved me after seeing the destruction her sniper rifle did with all the technomancy. It was tender.
As for the Tankborne and mini me… I may have gone overboard hopping them up on retrovirus and growth hormones and put them in a growth accelerator tank so I could perform Spartan style augmentations on them and garb them in the most advanced combat suites in several sci-fi galaxies, but who didn't want Spartan Krogans?
Who am I asking for validation from? I am the mother fucking God Emperor of Krogankind and I will turn my brother-sons into Astartes if I want to.
Needless to say, the Grineer were fucked.
"Okay, this shit is getting intense!" Jacob whinged in the Horizon Command Center mess hall, "The Demon King Krogan has spread his crazy to the other Krogan and now they are all eight and half feet tall and toting machine guns that can tear a heavy mech apart in less than ten rounds. I fucking told you we should have spaced them. Now it's too late! They are all in pressurized EVA capable powersuits. We'll need to bring the Normandy's main guns to get rid of one of them. And there are like fifty of them!"
"Jesus, Jacob." Miranda sighed, "Could you be any less cool right now."
"You're only saying that because you got hypnotized by his dick when you saw him coming out of the showers!" Jacob shouted, "Anything with a cock that incredible is suspect! You've been hypnotized by his hog and I won't let mankind end like this!"
Jacob got up and ran out as I sat down with several trays full of the local giant bug meat. The stuff gave humans the shits, but for me and the boys it was prime meat just waiting to get in our bellies.
"Ah Miranda." I grinned, "I've missed you for a long time girl."
"Oh, were we close in your universe?" she smirked.
"Very intimate." I said softly.
I emerged from the apartment Miranda commandeered for her stay the next day and my brothers were all outside. I gave them a thumbs up and they all began the celebration.
A week later the Alliance finally showed up to provide relief for the devastated colony and freeing us up to leave the people we saved guilt free. My crew loaded up on our new Frigate, The Kruban Bound III, a ship that put the Normandy in its inferior place made using recycled Grineer equipment, destroyed buildings from around the colony, and a Spartan power supply.
"Alright Ren-Shep." I grinned, "You don't need me to hold your hand while you go get your crew together and a ready for the mission, so call me in if the Collectors need smacking around, EDI has my contact info. And remember this always. Do not listen to Jacob's opinion about anything. The guy is just a good enough an actor to make you think he isn't a retard, but take him up on one of his suggestions and that façade shatters real quick."
"Alright! Fuck you you giant Xeno lizard dick head!" Jacob shouted in rage.
"Why don't you go track down the father that abandoned you, you walking talking unflattering stereotype. How did the people that made Captain The Mother Fucking Man Anderson make the only black companion so fucking colossally bad! Kai Lang is almost a step up from you and he ruins the third game!"
God it feels good to get that off my chest again.
"How are you holding up, Jean?" I asked as I entered the woman's cabin.
"Well…" she pursed her lips, "After falling out of love, I have been locked in combat with sci-fi mercs and a demented clone army, and the only people I know are all my former lovers and and they are running head long into the fighting. So I am doing meh." She nodded her head, "That's about right. My heart hurts like hell, but at least there is a whole galaxy full of assholes for me to share that pain with."
"That's the spirit!" I cheered the girl's progress, "No matter what happens and may change, you will always have a place with us, Jean. For however long you want it."
"Thanks, Grunt." Jean almost smiled, "I'm scared. A big part of me wants the Phoenix back in charge, filling me with all that passion and certainty. And another part of me is horrified that I would be happy to be controlled just so I don't have to feel so alone anymore."
"I get it." I chuckled, "I'm not exactly the kind of guy a good Christian girl grows up dreaming about marrying. Hehe, I don't look a thing like Jesus except these sick muscles." I flexed the double bicep, "Anyone ever tell you how swole Jesus must have been? The guy was a carpenter before power tools!"
I left Jean's cabin feeling like I'd done my good deed for the day, which is why I put her on suicide watch, cause I don't trust myself to do good things for people anymore. Bake a lovely roast in clay out a person's leg, none better. Liver on a lovely bed of fava beans, I'm the guy. Make some distraught girl's day better. Better safe than sorry and call in the watch dogs.
"I'm back baby!" I shouted as I walked up to Aria T'loak on her deck overseeing the action at the Afterlife nightclub on Omega, "God I missed this couch."
"I have no idea who or what you are." She shook her head, "The only reason you got this meeting is because you showed up on my station in the most advanced frigate anyone has ever seen being crewed by what can only be described as supersoldiers."
"That's cold, baby." I smirked, "But I guess we don't have any kids in this timeline."
"Crazy and dangerous." Aria leaned back into her comfy couch, "Things never change on this station. What do you want from me?"
"Friendship to start." I smiled at my lover's alternate, "And I can guarantee you ain't never had a friend like me."
I always loved it when I got Aria to smile for real.
PERTIMBANGAN PENCIPTA
JManM
JManM
First Bonus Chapter of the weekend. These chapters are flowing sweeter than a soda stream, so let me know if they taste as sweet to you in the comments section.
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