Bab 92: Good News, Everyone!
"I'm sorry." I cleared some wax out of my ear, "I must not have heard you correctly?"
"Not a problem, young Grunt." Professor X said with good cheer, "You will be starting at Bayville High School on Monday."
"You must be out of your mind." I shook my head, "I eat people."
"High School is a time full of youthful indiscretions, and the American High School system is more than capable of helping you buff out the rougher edges of your character." Charles assured me, "Why just recently a young girl was raped in a High School bathroom, and after her father was arrested and treated like a domestic terrorist for harassing the school board, the boy involved was quietly moved to a different school where the little scamp did it again. What a rapscallion. So you see, High School is the perfect place for you."
"So you want me to eat the rapists?" I raised a scaly eyebrow at him.
"Good God no!" he denied, "Obviously High Schools are fully capable of handling that kind of situation. Why else wouldn't they have gotten the police involved if they didn't have everything going swimmingly!"
"You are not someone who should be allowed around children." Jack told him bluntly.
"Nonsense." Professor X chuckled, "My best friend Alby runs a prestigious school in the UK and we agree completely. Equal intensity responses and appropriate punishments are icky."
"I suddenly feel the need to go to the UK and get a little boy out from a cupboard under the stairs before he grows up to name his son after two of the people who ruthlessly abused him throughout his life." I muttered.
"That was oddly specific and completely unrelated to me and my long friendship with Albus Dumbledore." Professor X stated, "Hmmm. Alby. Its a shame I couldn't tempt him to come live across the pond. We are so great together, but he loves bad boys and I love boy scouts and if we spend to much time together we start fighting over it. Such a silly thing to keep friends at a distance."
"Dafaq?" I questioned.
"Well, normally I wouldn't speak about this with one so young, but considering your long standing marriage with Jack and polygimous relationship with your concubines, I believe I can safely assume there are no virgin ears nearby." He grinned, "You see, I had my sexual awakening at a stage show in the late 1930's when I went to see Captain America perform. Good gods that man was a vision and stuffed into that tight little patriotic costume. I'd have spent all the money in the world on war bonds for fifteen minutes with him bent over a table. Mmmmhmmmm. Ever since then I have loved my men clean cut and tight."
"This whole conversation has been incredibly disturbing." Jack interrupted, "And I am an actual cannibal."
"Agreed." Kat nodded her head, "Have fun in High School, Grunt."
"If I have to go to High School then all of you do too."
"Excuse me." Jack snapped back at me, "I am thirty nine years old. There is no way in hell I am going to High School. It's your fault for being seventeen. Now go to your room and pack your school bag so the rest of us can laugh about it while sipping whisky."
"Fuck that noise." I denied, "Besides you three look like a pack of too tall teenagers, and none of us have graduated High School."
"Egads!" Professor X declared, "None of you have experienced the joys of High School? This cannot stand. I will have you all enrolled by the end of the night!" he blanked out for a few moments and then spoke, "I have alerted Storm to your predicament and she will be by to inform you poor deprived children of the miracle that is High School."
"I would like to bring up right now that we are all cannibals." Kat announced, "We eat people."
"Pish posh." Xavier scoffed, "High School will handle that."
"Maybe now would be a good time to change universes." Linda suggested.
"No." I denied, "It was all fun and games when it was Grunt going to High School and that means we now have four times the fun and games. We are all going to Bayville High School and will enjoy the full High School experience."
"Good man." Xavier nodded, "Nothing like High School, and High Schoolers…" he trailed off with a wistful look on his face.
We exited his office and huddled up.
"Is this guy a Skrull infiltrator who gets off on sending people to High School who really shouldn't be there?" I asked the team.
"Don't know what the fuck a Skrull is, but its not off the table." Jack nodded, "Guy hides his shit well, has to keep Logan away from it, but I'm another beast entirely. Man loves him some weed and mushrooms."
"Aliens and drugs aside, are we really going to High School?" Kat asked, "And not even some neat themed High School like Magic High School, or Super Hero High School."
"I for one am excited to experience something that normal people go through." Linda added her two cents.
"Don't take away from the experience for Linda with your bad attitude, Kat." I teased.
"I will fuck you into submission." Kat growled.
"We'll never make it to school on Monday." I grinned.
"Ahem." Storm interrupted, "Charles asked me to help you four get ready for school on Monday."
"Ah yeah." I grumbled, "I think we have a combined total of zero experience going to school between us."
"Then we best get started quickly." Storm responded, "Though I do have to ask. All the way till Monday? Really?"
"Why don't you join us later and find out for yourself." I offered.
"Another time perhaps." She stated as she turned and walked down the hallway, "Follow me please.
I had no problem doing that. Girl got an ass like the North Star.
PERTIMBANGAN PENCIPTA 
JManM
JManM Zugrian was down for the crossover so we will all get the joys of a journey through X-Men: Evolution and Does Voldemort Even Lift, Bro?
Head on down to Fanfiction . net to read his excellent tale that answers the age old question of what would happen if Harry Potter was the ultimate gym bro.
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Bab 93: Juggernaut
"Heehehehe hahahahaha hohahahe!" I laughed uncontrollably when we were told that Bayville High School was sending its kids to a survival training camp hosted by retired drill instructors and asked if we wanted to go to that or train with Wolverine.
Storm did not appear amused.
"Oh…" I stopped laughing, "You're being serious."
"I am." Storm responded.
"Hhaaahahhahaha!" I laughed again, "Oh my God. Thank you. I really needed that laugh. We are definitely choosing Wolverine."
"Mr. Gatatog. Next time refrain from laughing in my face when I ask you a question." Storm declared then left.
Damn she is good coming and going. Especially going.
After everyone left Wolverine turned to us and I cracked out the Horn of Party Hardy.
"Hey, man. Train to see if we can survive infinite liquor?" I offered the manlet.
Logan took in a deep breath, held it a moment, then grinned.
"My man!"
Many hours later on the stairs to the X-Mansion.
"Who dafaq is this big motha faka breaking down the gates to my new pad?" I grumbled while Cain Marko, AKA the Juggernaut, broke through the gate of the X-Mansion.
"Don't know." Logan grunted his answer, "But he'z lookin fer and ass whoopin!"
Watching Wolverine, drunk on liquor that completely resists advanced healing factors, run up and get punted by the Juggernaut was pretty funny, but I couldn't laugh because some fucking loser just walked up and punted my boy! My stoop brother!
It's time for some mother fucking vengeance, baby!
I held out my hand and summoned Volendrung. Sure, I was dickriding Thor and Kratos when I added that feature to my hammer, but I'm not going to pass up a slick feature just because someone else did it first.
"You done fucked up tiny." I said to the shorter and less physically developed combatant.
"Bitch, I'm the Juggernaut!" He shouted in a rip off of himself circa X-Men: The Last Stand.
I decided to take the opportunity to cut loose on someone with the tankiness to make me work up a sweat beating ass. A flood of Rc cells covered my body, casing me in a suit of blood red segmented interlocking plates and sprouting a massive pair of arms from my back. The head to toe armor was soon joined by large spikes emerging from my traps and a blazing pair of wings spreading out down the extra arms. My tail thickened and grew a massive blade. Both my arms thickened and lengthened, becoming a smaller match to the pair that came out of my back, and a spiked pavis formed over my left forearm tipped with a diamond hard lance.
My face was covered entirely by a red mask that split open to create a jagged maw and a trio of eyes grew out, black sclera and each bearing three pupils. My horns grew larger and a series of spikes grew from the back of my head to join those growing out of my traps.
I basically looked like Gore Magala, Nergigante, and Glavenus got together and made a blood red baby that can take on the world.
With a draconic roar I pounced on the approaching Juggernaut and slammed the Hammer of Might into him with a full powered explosion that shattered the mansion windows.
"I actually felt that." He grinned behind his stupid looking dome helmet.
Rather than talk I bathed him in fire till he put a meaty paw over my mouth.
"Damn, Puff." I grunted, "That fucking hurt!"
I got my shield up in time and shunted most of the damage of his strike to the stars of Skyrim before hitting the bastard with two quick overhand wing strikes that backed him up before spinning around and slamming my bladed tail on him in a blow that knocked the wind out of him.
"Nice!" He shouted as he pulled back and caught his breath, "Ain't been hit that hard, well, ever. Going to enjoy tearing you apart, lizard."
He ran at me to cover the distance and even if he isn't his best self, I knew better than to stand in front of him once he has got some momentum. I brought down an overhead strike of my hammer in front of him and blew the ground out from underneath him, causing the Juggernaut to trip and then I played a vicious game of whack a mole on his back that kept the big boy from getting up.
As I upped the power of the strikes to the max I began striking away his armor and flesh, breaking his ribs and spine.
I won, but it was against one of the weakest incarnations of the guy.
At least he brought lunch.
As I tore strips from the broken Juggernaut I felt something like a fly buzzing in my head. Annoying, but nothing worth stopping dinner over.
"Grunt, please stop!" Came the frantic voice of Charles Xavier as he ran out of the mansion.
"Lot of meat here that he isn't going to be using with his back that fucked." I commented on the shattered vertebrae sticking out of his skin.
"Be that as it may, he is a defeated foe, in his state he cannot hurt anyone so I must insist you stop inflicting harm on him." Charles demanded.
"But why though?" I asked.
"Grunt, there aren't many moments in a life where a person can be a hero." Xavier spoke impassioned, "Defeating my brother was a reaction, stepping up in a moment of crisis, but what you do now, after he is defeated is what defines your character. Yes, you are strong, but strength is not a virtue. It merely is. How you choose to use that strength when there is no pressure on you is more important than how you use it in the heat of the moment. Right now it is your choice what to do with Cain, and it is that choice that will determine whether or not you are a hero. There aren't many moments when these choices appear. Make a sacrifice, conquer a flaw, save a friend… spare an enemy. In these moments, everything else falls away. The way the world sees us. The way we…"
I couldn't help myself. I raised up my bladed tail and when the time was right drove it into one of the wounds Volendrung broke open on his back, impaling the Juggernaut and raising him into the air and sending him flying into a nearby tree.
Seeing his brother mortally wounded, Xavier bent over and puked.
"Why?" he cried.
"You were droning on!" I complained.
"This is why you people need High School!" He decried, "You teenagers are fucking savages!"
Dude. Not cool. That's totally ageist.
The atmosphere around the dinner table was frosty to say the least. Professor X had called the kids back as reinforcements and they caught the tail end of the fight. Get it? TAIL end! You know, because I killed him with my tail.
Anyway, they didn't appreciate me stopping a convicted serial killer who broke out of prison from murdering his brother. Especially Scott, that fucking boy scout. Almost makes me okay with the fact that Xavier is grooming the guy to be his personal fuck toy.
I also think it doesn't help our relationship that Jean is sending me major bedroom eyes all the time. She gets like that around Jack too, but not Kat and Linda. I'd consider it a hard pass if she wasn't her X-Men Red version. The whole Phoenix thing never goes well for the people around her, but with her looking like that I'll have to take some time to brush up on my cosmic entity psychology.
As I ate another piece of pork I muttered, "Not as good as the Juggernaut."
"Okay!" Scott erupted, "Are we just going to act like we don't have a bunch of cannibals at the table. Like this giant lizard alien didn't just kill and eat a guy in front of us!"
"Scott." Professor X chided, "They have never been to High School."
"How does that matter!" he made a good point.
Xavier just put his face in his palm as a sign of disappointment in his protégé, "One day, you will understand, Scott."
I was starting to wonder about the magic of High School. Was I walking into a trap to make me a better person?
I was quad deep in a bent over Linda when a knock on our door sounded.
"Do we need to start putting a sock on the door?" I asked my squirting lover, "All my roommates are here getting pounded, so that doesn't seem necessary…" I mused, "Fuck it. I am always willing to advertise that I am getting laid."
I pulled out and Linda collapsed when I let her go and answered the door. Jean was there and she looked like she wanted to say something before she got mesmerized by my smooth lizard cock.
"Gimme that!" she shouted and pushed me into the room with her mind before following herself and literally tearing her clothes off.
For some people, her behavior would be a sign. A sign to run like a scared little bitch, but you can ask Zaeed how many fucks I have to give about encounters like this.
PERTIMBANGAN PENCIPTA
JManM
JManM
Before people get up in arms about Grunt beating the Juggernaut, remember that this is the Evolution version. Cain isn't conceptually unstoppable, he is just a guy who is really strong and really tanky. He is a season one scrub enemy.
Also, this is the max power Grunt. With his connection to Skryim resestablished Grunt's striking power is more than doubled and so is his tankyness. Through in his powers as a Red One and a demigod weilding what has the potential to be a Noble Phantasm level weapon and we are starting to get the picture on how ideal a fight this was for Grunt.
For those interested, Grunt's wings aren't physically capable of providing the lift required for him to fly, but they do add tactile telekenis to him, allowing him to fly and always generate max leverage.
You can support me and my family at
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