Count Dooku rubbed the bridge of his nose after he finished another day of ruling the galaxy. Once upon a time he had a convenient Hutt Imperator to push all this governing onto while he spent his time exploring the Force and philosophy as he looked for a new and balanced ethos with which to instruct the next generation of Force users. Instead the lizard had wised up and disappeared into the aether, leaving the responsibility of their oligarchy to Dooku alone.
At least the Third Hutt Empire had fallen to pieces without Grunt there to scare everyone into subservience. The Hutts have big enough egos from controlling their own little personal sectors of space, and the Count would have hated dealing with an actual Hutt Imperator. The scam Grunt pulled claiming to be Jabba's son by way of Krait Dragon was truly inspired. Had the man not been a Wound in the Force, Dooku would have thought that the Force itself guided him to the ruse.
Of course several Hutts had died trying to father children on the remaining Krait Dragons in captivity.
Yes, the galaxy is fundamentally good.
Ventress made the children run another set of laps so she could take a break from dealing with them. Damn Dooku for dumping her with all these brats. At least when Jack and Grunt were around she had people capable of taking the edge off of life without making her soft.
Now… now, Ventress was actually worried about running into the more powerful of the remaining Jedi.
Before she met her friends and lovers, Ventress was arrogant. Willing to leap into combat against multiple Jedi masters even with little chance of victory. After all no one was as fleet of foot as her. How else would she always be able to run away so easily?
They took that insane invincibility away from her yet at the same time gave her a new facet of power to pull from.
Then they left and took that with them.
What was she supposed to pull her power from these days? Was she supposed to be angry at the galaxy she ruled over? Afraid that Dooku would replace her with someone else? Frustration at these thicker than Bantha shit children?
Ventress felt hollow.
Jedi Master Yoda lived in seclusion, spending his days contemplating the various failures of the Jedi Order. Many Jedi would be furious to find out that he attributed any failures at all to the Order, but Yoda was old enough to know better. The seed of defeat exists in the self, not in the enemy.
It would be very convenient to rest all the weight of their defeat onto the shoulders of an enemy too powerful and too clever to be defeated. An enemy that was inevitable, but that is lazy thinking. So Yoda spent his days, not contemplating the strength and cunning of Dooku and his partner Grunt, and instead looked inward at himself. How had Yoda failed?
The discovery after the fact of Sheev Palpatine's role as Count Dooku's Master and the Lord of the Sith was shocking. Only in contemplation without the man's skill in clouding the Force did Yoda notice the darkness of the man. They had worked closely together for many years, and Yoda was hailed as one of the greatest Jedi Masters of all time, and yet he could not see the truth in front of his very eyes.
Most disturbing, this revelation was.
Yoda experienced much disappointment in his time as the leader of the Jedi. Many people fell to the dark side despite the steps the Order took to combat that. Even his own apprentice. Perhaps, if he had taken a more active roll in the galaxy rather than withdraw into the Temple, he could have understood his apprentice, and prevented his descent into the Dark Side.
That was another failure Yoda took credit for.
The Jedi had replaced understanding with dogma, and morals with moralism. It hurt the old Jedi Master to think about how much the Jedi Order had rotted while they held themselves up in the Ivory Tower of the Temple. By withdrawing from the rest of the galaxy their ethos failed to be tested, and thusly failed its ultimate test. A strong philosophy needs to be applied and thrive amidst competing ideas, and the isolation of the Jedi resulted in them never having to test the code and how each person thrives under it.
The Jedi had no way of truly knowing if the tree they nurtured bore good fruit, because they never reached up to taste it, and from the results of this conflict, Yoda believed in his heart that tree he nurtured bore poisoned fruit.
Soon, Yoda will leave isolation and apply his new ideals to the galaxy, and see if there is a future for the Jedi.
Big difference between Mass Effect and Star Wars. Hope everyone like the window into Star Wars, up next is a brief view of Skyrim before we return to our scheduled programing.
If you want to support me and my family, you can do so at
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I took some time to admire the extra finger my hands now sported. Pinkies. Who knew I'd ever be happy to have little fingers at the edge of my hands again. The retractable claws were neat, and absolutely brutal. My fascination with my hands almost made me miss Sabretooth dragging himself away with only one arm and half a leg dangling off his torn up torso.
It was neat to know that if someone can live to the end of our feeding frenzy that we wouldn't just be locked into it trying to out DPS someone whose regen was too high to overcome. Not that Sabretooth was too high to overcome, just got lucky we didn't eat him from the head down.
This wasn't some blood drop rebirth Sabretooth and Wolverine, thank God. It appeared we had entered the world of X-Men: Evolution. Not a perfect copy of the children's TV show as Sabretooth's memories revealed a tone more in line with comic book renditions rather than the goofy goon that played on the Disney Channel.
Fortunately, Magneto has never demonstrated the ability to manipulate bioavailable iron in the body, so we won't have to worry about the asshat just tearing us apart using the iron in our blood. If that was the case I'd have noped the fuck out of here.
Despite everything being a bit more fucked, the tone of the world was far more lighthearted than the typical X-Men romp, who normally serve as a direct allegory for the downtrodden and the ostracized.
For Christ's sake, Sabretooth was trying to get around Professor X's notice me not telepathy via a camcorder video essay a Naruto reject was putting together for his high school extra credit project.
As terrifying the idea of a cannibal regenerator attacking a boarding home full of kids is, the fact that the X-Men were attending Bayville Highschool rather than holding up in the X-Mansion implied a brighter world state than usually portrayed off of the silver screen.
"Lookin like someone gave you a taste of your own medicine, Vic." growled the greatest manlet in comics.
"Get them away from me!" Sabretooth howled, "They're monsters."
"Dude!" I complained, "That's hurtful. It's not our fault you're a one man feast."
I emphasized that by patting my belly full of his regenerator limbs and organs.
"You folks really went to the buffet on ol' Creedy." Wolverine smirked in his orange and black costume, "Couldn't have happened to a more deserving scumbag."
"Agreed." Spat Linda who finished processing the hundred and eighty year plus lifespan of a violent psycho who reveled in bloody massacre.
She pulled a hose out of the trunk of The Good Evening and started spraying her naked body down with high pressure water.
"You people mutants?" He sniffed, "Aliens?" while looking at me.
"Column A, Column B. Put em together and you get me." I joked.
"Huh." the Wolverine hummed, "The boss man just let me know that four new mutants just activated their X-Genes near the mansion."
"Neat." Kat stated as she took the hose from Linda who pulled out a warm and fluffy towel to dry off with.
Both of them looked far more feral than Jack after consuming Sabretooth, and now sported thick hair to the end of their shoulder blades and middle of their glorious breasts. Interdimensional munchies did these girls right.
Jack admired her new claws and spoke to the manlet, "So what does that mean for us?"
"He's on his way here." Logan grunted, "No offense, but I wasn't going to lead a pack of roving cannibals back to a children's boarding house."
"If we didn't show up you'd have had one bust down the front door." I chuckled.
"Yeah, got a video message letting me know he was on his way." Wolverine admitted.
We finished getting washed and dressed in our space faring biker gang outfits Jack makes us wear before Professor Wheels rolled up with Storm kitted out for a fight… or a day on the town. That spandex superhero costume was working for my boner, but would provide jack shit in the way of protection for a woman who regularly engages in deadly combat. And goddamn the woman filling it was boner worthy.
Smooth and round features with a firm athleticism broken up by generous helpings of breast and booty.
We might be in a smutty version of this verse.
Thank you, Jesus.
I had a strange feeling in the back of my soul, something I hadn't felt in years, and a quick zoning out confirmed that I was reconnected with the Skyrim stars. A short rekindling of of the constellations had me grinning like a loon despite the seriousness of the conversation Jack was leading against the crippled cue ball.
I rushed over to the trunk and pulled Jack's guitar out of a nearly indestructible case and let loose a sick solo.
In a flash of light emerged The Good Morning and I hopped on the motorbike and revved up its wailing engine. A few loud revs later and I was so happy to be in a verse where pretty much everything goes. Bullshit science, magic, divinity. Marvel is down to fuck.
"Oh sweet!" Jack shouted and grabbed up the guitar and musically summoned our tank, The Good Nait.
After kicking up a dust storm doing donuts on my bike I pulled out my oversized bass guitar and started a Metal riff.
"Be healed, Bald Dude." I commanded as I shred.
"Don't be silly," scoffed Professor Wheels, "Many people have attempted to cure my paralysis and failed."
"Then why are your toes tapping?" I laughed.
Charles Xavier looked down at his bouncing feet and gaped in awe, then got up out of his wheelchair and started shaking his hips.
"What is happening?" He screamed in awe and joy.
"Fucking Metal, man!" I kept shredding and bathing the audience in the healing goodness of the bass guitar.
"Logan, we are keeping them!" Charles laughed as he danced, "I don't care that they eat people!"
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