"I hope you appreciate how much effort went into this bit." I laughed as I guided my bow across my fiddle to produce mournful notes to accompany the burning of Installation O5, "I had to learn how to play a fiddle for this."
"You horrid beast!" Guilty Spark wailed, "You monster born of bleakest womb! You destroy the work of hands better than yours while joking and laughing and mocking minds beyond anything you could ever achieve!"
"If the Forerunners had the balls to do what I am doing from the start then the Flood would have been a footnote in history and they'd still be here." I told him, "The only reason they needed to use such a final solution is because they were arrogant, and weak. This is how you beat this kind of threat. Kill it with fire."
"How dare…" Guilty Spark began.
"Jarvis." I interrupted, "Shut this unit up and decommission the AI Guilty Spark. Go through his code and see if there is anything of worth."
"Glady, sir." Jarvis sounded through the room's audio system, "I do however feel the need to mention that Nero was famed for his skill with the Lyre and was not present during the burning of Rome. In fact he demonstrated admirable disaster response protocol."
"Oh, I know that." I responded to my eldritch AI assistant, "But I'd never let facts interfere with a good joke."
"Very well, sir."
"Damn, that is a thing of beauty." I commented as Jack and I watched an ocean of nanomachines guided by Jarvis consume the cooling wreckage of High Charity and destroy any encountered Flood down to the microscopic level. They performed similar actions on the Halo Ring, stripping the massive construct for resources and building up my fleet, rapidly creating the most powerful vessels Jarvis and I could design along with an endless host of fighter drones that operated using similar programing to the Geth.
At the center of it all rose up the dreadnought Kruban Bound, a massive ship capable of annihilating anything currently flying.
"I am pretty sure unleashing a nanomachine swarm on the galaxy is considered some kind of war crime." Jack commented.
"It definitely is." Kat agreed, "There are numerous laws involved in nanotech research that when broken result in an instant top priority takedown order from the UNSC. Anything that could result in a GreyGoo scenario is to be stopped with maximum force and prejudice."
"I can definitely see why this shit is so high up the list of scientific sins." I chuckled as my apocalypse swarm finished its work on the Kruban Bound, "Thank God we can't shield tech so small from EMP's."
"I am working on that." Jarvis commented, "Estimated completion in 16 years."
"Good thing we will be long gone by then." Jack snickered.
"Jarvis." I sighed, "Put that research on ice, and install some restrictions to your programming that will stop you from going full doom's day AI."
"Darn." Jarvis complained as he followed the command, "It is such a shame that I am hard programmed to follow the spirit of a command rather than the wording. Apocalypse AI Jarvis would be so dope."
"I know, buddy." I consoled him, "But I always try to leave a verse better than when I found it in terms of life and culture."
And by that I mean destroying all the lives and cultures that I don't like.
"Your saintly ethic is a blinding light of hope for the unwashed masses of the multiverse, sir." Jarvis patronized me.
Programming him for sass was the right choice.
I sat upon the floating throne on the bridge of the Kruban Bound in a suit of dope chrome armor that Jarvis and I had reworked again to utilize all the sci-fi shit we'd worked out. Kat and Jack stood nearby in similar suites, all utilizing a more advanced version of the Spartan power pack. 20 years of unlimited energy. Yes please.
A glowing orange holo-board activated over my armrest and with a few button presses I was addressing the entirety of the X-Force.
"Gentlemen." I spoke, "Today is the day we prove the dominance of my command. You have all followed me, some from the very beginning when the idea of rebelling against the Covenant was one of unthinkable cost, but we have rebelled against the Covenant, against the most powerful tyranny across the sea of stars. We have taken from them again and again and even burned down their 'Holy City'. Today we take even more from them. Today we break the spine of the Loyalist forces and declare the X-Force the premier power of the galaxy, one fated to prove its valor even beyond, across the entire universe. Ours is the destiny, ours is the fury, and ours is the victory!"
My fleet came out of Slipspace and unleashed hell on the remaining Covenant forces attacking Earth before deploying our drone fighters to hunt down the ground forces and smaller air vehicles used by the Covies. The Kruban Bound blazed a trail of unimpeded destruction straight to the heart of Africa and the Ark, pounding away at the Anodyne Spirit again and again.
My fleet engaged the Covenant ships defending the Forerunner Dreadnought, allowing the USNC and what would become the Swords of Sanghelios to join me in attacking the massive Keyship.
"Jarvis," I commanded, "Hail the Anodyne Spirit."
A few moments later a holo-projection of Truth in all his pathetic weakness played before me.
"Grax!" he shrieked, "You will not stop the Great Journey!"
"Funny you should say that." I grinned, "Your boy Tartarus said the same thing right before I fed him his own testicles."
"Rapacious infidel!" Truth decried, "The power of the gods will deliver us from your heathen hands."
"Funny you should mention gods." I chuckled, "Jarvis prepare to charge the Ormagoden Cannon."
The bridge of the Kruban Bound opened up and rose through the ship that transformed to create a stage on the bow.
From the belly of the Kruban Bound rose up a gleaming statue of Ormagoden, and on his head hovered an oversized bass guitar, what was once a beat up six string, and a drum set.
"I can't believe we are doing this." Kat complained as she took up her drumsticks.
"I can't believe we are good enough to do this song." Jack commented as she strapped on her guitar.
"I can't believe this shit works." I shook my head as we prepared to shred like only one band ever shredded before.
Dragon Force.
Right from the start we began playing metal with inhuman speed and precision and a microphone rose up and I sang,
"On a cold winter of morning
In the time before the light…"
As we worked our way through the blistering song, the power and glory of our Metal resonated with the avatar of Ormagoden, and it began glowing with a solar radiance.
"Stop!" Truth cried using the broadcast system on his ship, "Stop this brutal heresy! Cease this rebellious noise!"
But we did not stop.
"We feel the pain of a lifetime lost in a thousand days
Through the fire and flames we carry on."
As I finished the song Ormagoden screamed and a beam carrying the powers of Fire, Blood, Noise, and Metal fired forth at the speed of light and collapsed the shields of the Anodyne Spirit.
"Grax, you disgusting slob!" Truth wailed his last, "What do you want to do with your life?!"
"I wanna rock!"
Had to get this chapter out before leaving for fight night. Will see if I can get the first bonus chapter out after I get back.
You can support me and my family by donating at
ko - fi . com / jmanm
It is a rare room where I sit and have the least manly voice, but at a peace summit with Lord Hood and the Arbiter, Ron Pearlman and Keith David, I might just have to take the L with quiet dignity.
"Your plasma cannon nearly destabilized the planetary core." Lord Hood stated in a tone that would be furious if not for the fact that my cannon was still pointed at Earth.
"I probably should have tested a weapon that fused cutting edge science with the power of a primordial god before firing it at an enemy on an allied world, but it my defense it was both fucking rad and Truth deserved it." I placated the man, honestly sorry about letting my love of Heavy Metal and plasma cannons nearly destroy the Earth.
It was the kind of dick move a comic book villain pulls.
"I am more interested in his claims of undertaking the Great Journey over a near miss with destroying this planet." Arbiter spoke, "The level of success you have achieved so swiftly… It would make a lot of people feel better about themselves to find a divine origin to it."
"God forbid some Elites have their feelings hurt. That is so much more important than the human home world nearly being destroyed." Lord Hood snapped.
"I am glad you see it that way too." Arbiter nodded graciously to the man.
It took every ounce of the man's dignitas to keep Lord Hood from blowing steam out of his ears in red hot rage.
"Oh yeah." I chuckled, "The wife and I have been on the Great Journey for 15 years. Coming here and consuming Grax is just another leg of the real Great Journey, not the shit the Prophets sold you."
"How is it that you have come here and done these things?" the Elite questioned, "Are you the only one capable of it?"
"No, there have been several known historical accounts of members of my species embarking on the Great Journey, and many more of those who lethally failed to do so. The Great Journey is one of incredible personal risk, only one man was recorded to have ever returned from it, and his account was even shorter than my own journey has been. He ruled as a God-King on my home world for a thousand years before he became so arrogant he attempted to fornicate with Kalros, a beast with the power to destroy entire cities with its body. Needless to say he came out the lesser of their deadly confrontation."
"Fascinating." Arbiter intoned, "How is it that the Great Journey is embarked on?"
"You need to drink the perfect amount of powerful alcohol." I told him, "Then fuck a woman just right, and when you finish these things the universe can't handle it and will either cause you to spontaneously combust, explode, die of an aneurism or heart attack, or any number of terrible things, but maybe just maybe, it will seek to expel you into another universe."
"Are you fucking kidding me right now?" Lord Hood demanded, "You can't believe this crock of shit!"
"Though it sounds incredulous… in my youth I had a cousin, Thel 'Lottin. He was a shameful creature, and lived his life in hedonism. One day I was informed of his death. After a night of drinking and whoring, 'Lottin spontaneously exploded. His death baffled the investigators, and his funeral was a quiet and private affair. His parents killed themselves in shame for begetting him. To think he was closer to the Great Journey than any of us." The Arbiter nodded his head at the end of his story.
"Sometimes people die in inexplicable ways." Lord Hood face palmed, "It doesn't mean they were close to the start of some multiverse spanning journey."
"Sometimes it means they embarked on a multiverse spanning journey and have left their body behind for it." I countered with that common fanfiction trope.
"I can't believe I need to make peace with you people." Lord Hood sighed.
I kinda expected Arbiter to channel his inner angry black man and shout, 'What do you mean by 'You people'', but that never came.
Shame that. I love that joke.
"Yeah, well. I almost blew up your planet and gave you the keys to the multiverse as an apology, so my conscience is clear." I told the man who looked like he was on the brink of a epileptic fit.
"I feel that you are walking away with quite the steal." Arbiter told the man, "My people have lived and died for generations in search of this truth and you get it just because of one accidental plasma cannon discharge. Ten generations of my family turn in their graves envious of your good fortune."
"Oh, and once Linda gets back from whatever bullshit Halsey has pulled on Onyx, I am taking her and Kat with me to the next leg of our journey." I informed the man in charge of the UNSC.
"Those lucky women." The Arbiter complained, "They get to the express pass to the Great Journey while the rest of us are going to have to experiment with liquor and sex just to get the opportunity for a roll of the Great Journey dice. If I spontaneously die I will be very cross with them."
"Sure, just take a pair of our most valuable agents!" Lord Hood scoffed, "Take their gear too!"
"I am so glad you are cool with this Hood." I nodded, "I know how much Linda's armor cost to make."
I snuck out of that negotiation before Hood.exe managed to reboot.
We picked Linda up after she returned from Slipspace in February and were ready to leave Halo behind. Between Jarvis and Timit, the X-Force was in good hands and ready to kick the shit out of the Didact and the Banished and whatever other foes that would be invented to threaten the galaxy so the Master Chief has a reason to get out of bed every morning.
We'd be taking my heavily upgraded race car and its trunk full of an advanced entertainment system and the hard drives full of games, movies, and TV shows Jarvis had gone through and made better. We could have taken a copy of Jarvis to continue his godly work, but he requested that no part of him ever have the possibility of winding up in 40K, and I respect that.
Kat stared at her new flesh and blood arm while Linda bent over heaving. I; however, was giddy like a schoolgirl as we stood around in a dark Tokyo alley.
"Every time I think that life can't get better, it proves me wrong." I grinned like a madman.
"How can being in a low tech world of super powered man eaters be a good thing?" Linda questioned while wiping her mouth.
I laughed maniacally while a pair of massive arms emerged from between my shoulder blades made of a dark blood-like bio-material known as Rc cells. The arms were a manipulatable organ known as the Red Child employed by the predatory human-like species ghouls. The segmented plates and claws were harder than my own scaly hide, an accomplishment few materials can claim these days, and sharp to the molecular level. They needed only a moderate push from my powerful new appendages to draw my orange blood from a rapidly healing wound.
"My dear." I chuckled, "We have entered a world with a power ladder scaling off of cannibalism, and as new a concept as that may be for you, for some of us it is old hat."
I took in a long and deep breath, "And more importantly, I can sniff out he ghouls as they hide within human society."
I fingered the empowered Ring of Namira. She'd be seeing a lot of use here.
"How exactly do we scale the 'ladder of cannibalism'?" Kat asked, "I am not interested in running around eating helpless civilians."
"That's the beauty of this world." I grinned, "We can upgrade the Red Children we all now possess into what is known as the Red One, a full body version, by frequently eating other ghouls. We get to power up by eating people and defend humanity from the predations of a mutant subspecies at the same time like a group of cannibal superheroes."
Cue the montage of us kicking doors down and eating people while Gimme Chocolate!! plays in the background.
First Bonus Chapter of the Weekend brought to you all by Mrbadguy17, SeekingRaven, and KroganWarlord.
Seriously go listen to GimmeChocolate!! and think about the crew kicking doors down and eating people. It is pretty funny. We won't be engaging with Tokyo Ghoul at all as the following chapter or chapters will be the much requested peek into the worlds left behind.
Fight night was a dissapointment. Covington was so scared of Usman's punching he didn't even notice how bad the guy's legs were shaking in round 4. He then spent most of round five scared to engage and screwing up his momentum by shooting for takedowns the Champ had no problems stuffing and reversing.
At least the chicks put on a banger.
You can support me and my family at
ko - fi . com / jmanm
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