Bab 83: The Why of Grunt (Essay)
What follows is an essay for those interested in answering a question that has been in the hearts of some of my fans since the start of the story, but I have never elaborated on. The question being: Why do chicks like Grunt?
That is a question with a very simple answer. I am the author and I want it to be.
But that is both a simple answer and a poor one. If the only reason why chicks like Grunt was because I say so, then the comments section of my story would be full of people complaining about how forced everything is and how undeserving Grunt is of the attention and affection he receives. We have all seen the multitude of stories on this site full of protagonists awash in female love and completely undeserving of it and we can all identify it with ease. So why doesn't Grunt make us feel this way?
Grunt is the quintessential female fantasy.
Le Gasp!
The most common female sexual fantasy in the world is a version of Beauty and the Beast with either a vampire, werewolf, pirate, billionaire, or surgeon in the role of the Beast, the aggressive and commanding creature that the female heroine needs to seduce and tame.
This may sound like bullshit, but this is empirical. Don't hate the player, hate the game.
Grunt fits nicely within this role, but if that was all he was we would still hate him, because spoiler alert, all those categories are edgy, angsty, and overly dramatic which is why male and female literature is so different. To a woman all of those things sound romantic, but they are not. They are things to build an obsession around, not a genuine romance.
Ladies and gentlemen, obsession sells.
Twilight, 50 Shades, and all the "Romance" novels of their ilk are all steeped in obsession, not love.
So why do we all like Grunt, then. He is a huge reptilian monster with a deeply entrenched violent psychopathy. He is an unrepentant rapist, murderer, and cannibal. By all accounts even if I was trying to portray him in a steamy light at best he would be an Edward Cullen, Christian Grey, Sasuke Uchiha type that would make my vastly male audience want to hurl, but Grunt isn't just the monster in need of taming.
Under all the insane violence is a mother fucking cornucopia of hugely attractive social traits and skills. When Grunt enters the scene he is almost always an energy level or two above the other people in the conversation, he treats almost everyone he meets with kindness, respect, and intimacy that most people are afraid to engage in. Everything he does is full of power, precision, and good cheer. Grunt is never afraid to be himself, or be the butt of the joke, or be criticized and because of that he is socially free and empowered.
Grunt is a Magnificent Bastard. Despite his monstrous appearance and actions, his charm, style, and sincerity elevate him to a position that we can't help but like.
If you are interested in how I accomplished this, then you need look no further than a pair of YouTube channels I watch regularly before writing chapters: Charisma on Command and The Critical Drinker.
Charisma on Command is likely the best channel I have found that analyses social skills and provides incredible examples of the skills in action and mistakes to avoid. If you are feeling like your people skills are rusty from the various lockdowns and social distancing we have all been going through since Covid hit, then I cannot recommend enough some time spent going through their catalog of videos.
The Critical Drinker is one of the best film critics I have seen, and it for far more than his alignment with my world view and sense of humor. Drinker does an incredible job going through new and old movies and breaking down why people liked and didn't like the films. Watching a couple of his videos makes me more aware of story telling and characterization pitfalls and how to keep a plot and cast on course and interesting.
So there we have it. Let me know if you enjoyed this essay, or if you think I am full of it and completely missed the mark. I don't think I'll likely do more of these if at all, but this was a topic I've been thinking about and it helped to get it all written down, and since I took the time to write it, I might as well share it.
Bab 84: Battle of Installation 04 Part 2
"Who owns this ship?" I demanded.
"You do!" the tortured Elite Ship Master moaned, "You do. Please… just kill me!"
With an incendiary Warp, I grant his wish like the benevolent goddess I am.
"I never thought that I would ever feel sympathy for the Covenant," Captain Keyes stated, "but knowing that the USNC has hired her and her husband to fight this war changes things."
"I am greatly disturbed." agreed the Master Chief.
"Before there was ignorance, now there is understanding." Linda spoke, "I hope understanding comes quickly to the Covenant forces everywhere."
"Harsh." John said and led the captured marines and Captain out of the vessel.
"That was an impressive showing." Linda said as she closed the distance between us.
"Want to give the floating throne a try?" I grinned under my helmet, "Maybe add a nice fur cloak to your look?"
"I don't think purple and green are a good combo." Linda denied.
"In some parts of the multiverse those are fighting words with a guy that can shatter planets with his fists." I chuckled thinking about the possibility of Grunt and the Incredible Hulk duking it out.
I can already hear him shouting 'Please stop, I can only become so erect!' if I brought that up with him.
"The multiverse?" She asked.
"I'll fill you in on the drive back." I smirked.
"Let me know if you need another trip to time out." I chuckled while Major Silva glared at me.
"Major, stay civil." Captain Keyes ordered, "I've seen what this woman is capable of. Any attempts to antagonize her will see you brought up on charges."
"You can't be serious, Sir?" Silva gaped hearing that.
"I put it on the level of tampering with a nuclear device." Keyes stared the man down.
"Okay. With that out of the way we have several OPs to plan." Keyes began the war room session and assigned the Spartans to collect the Silent Cartographer, a map of the installation, under one of the islands dotting the ring world. He would be leading a team of marines to a 'weapons cache'.
"Alright, pump the breaks." I told him, "The 'weapons cache' is bullshit. It is where the Flood were being researched in an attempt to create countermeasures against possible Flood invasion from darkspace. The Covies have already released the flood and should have locked the area down, but we shouldn't hold out hope on that holding. Which means it is HazCom from here on out and we need flamethrowers ready to go to burn away swarming flood forms. Remember that these things are also airborne, but far less effective in that form."
"How exactly did you come by this intelligence?" Keyes questioned.
"My husband has an approximate knowledge of many things." I said, "I am here because of that. The stakes are too high for us to just trust that MC John will be able to make it happen off of faith, trust, and pixie dust."
"Some people call that luck." Linda said.
"Yeah, but in our experience plot armor goes out the window when we enter the verse." I sighed.
It would be pretty sweet to just be able to kick back, relax and command the bitches in the X-Force to do all the heavy lifting, but Grunt just insisted that I should go on another adventure and have fun while he does the administrative work this time. I personally think he just doesn't want to live in another organization with so many dicks hanging out.
"So we pray the Flood stays contained, but be ready to fight them." I ordered, "John and Linda will make sure this Halo Ring doesn't get fired."
"And what will you be doing." Keyes asked.
"I am going to clear out the Pillar of Autumn and get it ready for you to use it as an improvised WMD to destroy this Ring. Everyone else will be getting everything possible ready for EVAC." I answered.
"Our forces have managed to raid the Autumn for equipment, vehicles, and supplies, but Covenant presence in the area is still in the area." Silva stated.
"By the time I am done with them the crash site of the Pillar of Autumn will be a scar so deeply carved into their racial memories that future generations of Covies will wake up at night in terror of it." I spoke, then put on my helmet and walked out to get my car."
"Holy shit, she is scary." I heard Captain Keyes gasp after I left.
Roughly 16 hours later Chief and Linda showed up in a pair of stolen Banshees, flying over broken bodies of the Covenant and the Flood that tried to take over the corpse of the Pillar of Autumn and the smoking wreckage of enemy vehicles including a massive Scarab heavy excavator turned super tank.
"What the fuck took you people?" I called out as I sat on top of a dead Elite Ultra.
"Captain Keyes and Major Silva attempted to retake the Truth and Reconciliation to use as our escape vessel, but the place was infested with Flood and Keyes ultimately chose to crash the ship rather than allow it the chance of escaping with the Flood on Board. We were the only survivors."
"Neat." I responded, "So how are we getting this vessel to go critical?"
"Explosive force directly applied to the fusion engine will cause it to destabilize." John answered.
"Cool." I nodded, "I've got my car parked in the Longsword still docked, so once we do that we haul ass and take that ship into space."
Watching the Halo Ring blow was something special. All that power stopped by us. I guess this is why Grunt wanted me on this mission, aside from the fact that I look human and he looks alien.
We ended up killing the engines on the Longsword when a Covenant scout fleet came into the area. A nearby Pelican containing survivors from the blast; however, activated its engines and Cortana took remote control of both vessels and executed a slingshot maneuver using a nearby moon's gravity.
The two ships docked and Sargent Johnson came aboard with three people that I am sure are important to somebody somewhere.
We loaded their ship up with mines and Cortana piloted it and deployed the mines in the direction of the pursuing fleet. The explosions caused enough of a distraction for us to board the flagship, The Ascendant Justice, and insert our AI into the systems to depressurize the ship, killing everyone on board not wearing full space suits. We did end up killing one Elite up in the bridge, and Cortana launched us into Slipspace with the destination of Reach as suggested by her partner John.
I used my Quantum Entanglement Communication Device to let Grunt know where we were going.
"Good." he chuckled, "I've been keeping an eye on the planet and think we can take the leftover cleanup forces."
When we exited slip space we saw a fleet of twenty black battleships with red Xs painted on them engaging the leftover Covenant ships and absolutely shredding them. Grunt's plan to hit a Covenant dry dock and retrofit facility had obviously paid off in the form of new ships and the massively upped armor, engines, and weapon systems sported by his vessels.
"You better have sent a bill for this battle." I told him over our comms line.
"Of course babe." he laughed, "Do you think this is amateur hour. We'll get the salvage and a fat payday for our efforts. I'd never miss the chance to double dip."
We met Grunt planet side when he stepped off his ship with his new Spartan lover Kat. It took me a moment to recognize the upgrade to her prosthetic arm because of the slimmer profile but when I did I just shook my head.
"You gave her a Saren arm." I chuckled.
"Dude was mad, but had sick taste in robot arms." Grunt grinned.
"He made you something not meant to destroy his enemies or drive fast." I told the girl, "It must really be love."
"Oh no." Kat denied then used her arm to turn a piece of nearby rubble into smaller rubble, "It is very much meant to destroy enemies."
I saw her shaking her robot hand as if to relieve pain.
"Going to have to get used to the full nervous system integration." she mumbled.
"You made it so she can feel pain with her robot arm?" I looked at my giant husband.
"And everything else." He smiled, "Anyway. Wife, this is my new lover Kat. Kat, this is my wife, Jack."
"Nice to meet you Kat." I said, "Now I'd like you to meet my new lover, Linda."
Before Linda could say anything for herself Grunt and I participated in a crisp high five.
"You people are so weird." Kat sighed.
PERTIMBANGAN PENCIPTA
JManM
JManM
Not much to say on this one. We are moving through First Strike content then will be on to Halo 2.
If you want to support me and my family you can do so at
ko - fi . com / jmanm
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