Bab 70: Brutal Legend Jump Chapter (Formerly Brutal Legend)
"Um… like, big thanks for saving me from those creeps in the robes. I am just going to back away… slowly… Don't mind the axe. Totally not threatening you with it, just picked it up cause it felt right." Eddie Riggs calmly talked us down while backing away, "I am just going to stop that guy from shocking himself trying to get that guitar. Please do not eat me while I am doing so."
"Dude, it was just a case of interdimensional munchies." I informed the Jack Black insert character in Brutal Legend, "Stop being weird about it. In fact, it's weird that you didn't join us. We got the memories of the guys we ate and we know that you ported into this world too."
"Oh thank God there are other people who got here like I did." Eddie put a hand over his heart, "I was kinda freaking out about the sudden transport. Sorry about the eating people thing. I didn't know interdimensional munchies was a thing, but when I get high I am like the Terminator and burritos are my Sarah Connor."
"No problem, man." I told him, "It will be nice having someone along for the ride exploring this world."
Eddie picked up the guitar off the altar of Ormagoden the Fire Beast and played some strings causing lightning to come down on a pair of Tainted Coil Druids frying them to death.
"Babe." Jack said as she got up and wiped demon blood from her mouth, "You grew horns."
I reached up and felt the impressive rack of horns that had sprouted on my head. The graphite plates of my forehead had risen and separated allowing a set of curling horns like the Arishok's from Dragon Age 2 to grow from my head. He had my favorite horns in gaming and now they are mine.
"Dude." Eddie greeted, "They are fucking sick. You look like an absolute Hellbeast."
He turned to Jack who had pulled on her Dragonslayers jacket and dressed in her finest biker girl clothing and threw me the go bag, "And you, madam, look like a heavy metal Valkyrie."
"Your name is Eddie, right." Jack asked while she laced up her boots, "I like you Eddie. Stick with us and these demons that keep porting in here won't be a problem for you."
Jack grinned and started hacking the slow and pathetic demon swordsmen up with the Ebony Blade. While she did that I slipped back into the dragon leather pants she loved so much and put on my nord champion belt. It had three golden disks in the front with a bear, a dragon with a broken horn, and a Hist Tree on them. Along the length of the belt were golden plates with the names Farkas, Aela, Kodlak, Skjor, Torvar, Athis, Rhea, Njada, and the most recently added Dom. This outfit was joined with a pair of comfy boots and my own Dragonslayers jacket made with the wing leather of a Legendary Dragon.
I joined her and Eddie in battling the Tainted Coil Druids with the Hammer of Might.
"Have you ever done this before?" I asked Eddie as he split a Druid from neck to navel with the Separator, the axe wielded by his mother before him.
"First time." Eddie answered.
"You have some sick edge alignment for a first timer." I chuckled as a Druid turned into paste under an overhead swing from my hammer.
Eddie hit a note on his guitar that generated a temple shaking shockwave.
"Bring the house down!" I laughed as we killed more of these guys.
With two more shockwaves the temple crumbled, revealing the beautiful world of the Age of Metal to our eyes. I stepped to the ledge and breathed in deeply.
"Babe." I grinned, "This is home."
"Fuck yeah it is." Jack agreed, "We are on the temple to a Firebeast built atop a mountain of monster bones. The whole world is made of Fire, Blood, Noise, and Metal. This place fucking rocks!"
"Don't think you can fool me with the whole, nun look. You're going to turn around and be a big ugly demon." Eddie shouted at the Battle Nun that arrived on a prayer operated walker, "Aha!" he pointed as she turned around, "Big ugly demon, but kinda sexy though in a weird way."
"Lady. You can either surrender and get fucked by a real demon, or fight us and die unsatisfied." I told the Battle Nun.
"Oh my." She drawled and looked me up and down, "Quite the good looking Hellbeast you are, but the Emperor's commands must be followed."
"So be it." I shouted as I leapt at her and took her head off with a swipe of Volendrung, "This is the hammering you asked for!"
"Dude," Eddie got my attention, "I heard that killing nuns is bad luck, so we better get outta here."
We loaded up onto the walker that Eddie powered with a prayer to Evil. He only tripped up at the end when he asked for Evil's 'good graces' causing the walker to trip over and dump us into a trap where four Druid's pooled their magic and trapped us in a glowing orange energy field.
"Surprise motherfuckers!" I shouted as I disabled the field with a wave of my hand.
I now had the magic potential of three of these Druids combined, their knowledge, plus and aftershock dose of Oghma Infinium, causing my knowledge of Demon Magic to shoot through the roof. These guys didn't stand a chance against me!
Jar-Shak would be so pleased. We are finally a real spell flinger, and all we needed to do was eat three other spell flingers to get there.
"Nice!" Eddie shouted as we burst forth and slaughtered these fools.
Eddie's axe was stopped by a dual bladed block and the red hood slipped off to show the face of a beautiful young woman.
"Oh no!" Eddie exclaimed, "Don't tell me I have been killing hot girls this whole time."
That would be a genuine tragedy, but we were slaying ugly ass demons.
Eddie and Ophelia got their meet cute, but she cut it short on account of the arrival of Emperor Doviculus.
"Doviculus don't got shit on us, girl." I smirked, "Let him come."
"I have no doubt of your might Hellbeast, nor the Valkyrie with you, but Doviculus comes at the head of his army." Ophelia defended the choice to leave.
"Alright, girl." I agreed grudgingly, "It will be hard to both kill the Emperor and keep you both alive at the same time. Let's go."
We worked our way through the Druids and Battle Nuns till none remained. Eddie and Ophelia checked the gate while Jack and I looked around.
"It's like we are in a temple dedicated to speed." She commented on the various engines and exhaust pipes and other vehicle parts strewn about the place.
"We are, babe." I agreed, "And so much more. The metal itself is filled with the need to go fast, faster, fastest!"
I felt the pull of the world's will on my magic and let it draw from my knowledge of engineering to guide my hands in the creation of something that pleased the gods of Metal. Before I knew it I had assembled a massive motorcycle, a chopper with high rising ape handlebars and a set of exhaust ports coming out the sides of the vehicle that could spray the flames of Ormagoden on punks around me. It sported two cycling plasma machine guns that rapidly fired bolts of divine Firebeast flames at enemies in front of me. It was Fire, Blood, Noise, and Metal put on two wheels.
"Holy shit dude!" Eddie cried out as he looked at my bike, "I was worried about how we would all fit in the Druid Plow but then you make this unholy abomination of pure awesome."
"I call her The Good Morning," I grinned as I looked upon my work and saw that it was good, "Cause the whole neighborhood is waking up when this beauty turns on."
To prove my point I hopped on and started up The Good Morning. Her engine screamed like the death wail of the Firebeast, and she thrummed under me with power and the affection of the gods of Metal.
"Goddamn." Jack purred as she got on the bike behind me, "And here I thought you couldn't get any sexier."
PERTIMBANGAN PENCIPTA 
JManM
JManM Welcome to Brutal Legend. When this story turned into a jumpchain I knew I had to come here, but wasn't sure what to do here. After playing the game and going through the wiki's I know that this is likely the most important arc since the first. I have so many ways this world will build off the worlds previously visited and will impact the worlds to come.
Play Metal louder than Hell, boys and girls.
You can support me and my family and contribute to the weekend bonus chapters at
ko - fi . com / jmanm
Bab 71: Beautiful Music
"Space Momma!" I shouted in realization while Eddie plowed through the wooden temple gate and started splattering the demon army of Emperor Doviculus on the grill of his hot rod.
"Oh my God you're right!" Jack yelled in agreement, "She sounds just like Shepard!"
"I knew something about her was tickling my memories." I said, "It just took awhile to put the pieces together since we haven't seen her in fifteen years."
"Small multiverse." Jack chuckled and we took off in the wake of Eddie's destruction, glowing bolts of flaming plasma firing from our side mounted auto cannons. Like the car mounted guns in the game, my plasma weapons had a bit of a mind of their own, accurately targeting enemies for termination in a small cone in front of my bike.
With our extra speed and maneuverability we had no problem passing up Eddie and Ophelia, giving them the front row experience to our path of annihilation against the Tainted Coil. I may or may not have been laughing maniacally as we passed by.
Our path hit a roadblock in the form of a raised metal gate and the presence of a giant demon tapeworm monster. It was as disgusting to look at as anything we'd ever seen.
"I got this." Jack grinned as she stood up on the back of the bike.
She attacked it with a biotic Charge as the arc of our jump into the feeding area descended and clung to the beast while chopping it over and over with the Ebony Blade. Damn thing fucking hurts, you feel every once of the life its magic rips away.
Damn thing was probably grateful when the last swing finally finished taking its head off.
"Hoho! Nice!" Shouted Eddie as he power slid his hotrod to a stop in front of the gate, "Now how do we get this gate open and get out of here?"
"I got it." Ophelia hopped out of the car and opened the gate a few minutes later.
Our route was smooth sailing until the Tainted Coil launched an artillery strike on the bridge columns underneath us, causing the ancient highway to begin to collapse especially quickly under the sections supporting their unweildy walker units. We navigated the rapidly diminishing path and hit a big jump off the final section of road as it overturned to fall into the sea, landing safely on the other end.
I could feel Eddie's disappointment when Ophelia said she "Can't wait to show it to Lars." in regards to his rather epic car.
At least the ride to Bladehenge was sick enough to throttle the poor guy's downer mood.
We pulled up to the giant sword sticking out of a cratered hill to see Lita, Lar's little sister manning the entrance and its rather flimsy defenses.
"Ophelia!" She cried as she stabbed the rim of Eddie's back tire with her bicharde, "What manner of demons have you allowed to follow you home this time?"
When Ophelia told us not to mind Lita as she was a little 'high strung' I couldn't help myself.
"My dear." I smirked, "You need to relax, as those who are high strung often cannot bear the strain."
"Get back Hellbeast!" Lita rudely poked me with her polearm.
I gripped the blade and slid it down my exposed abs loudly several times, the hissing complaint of a edge scraping against a surface to hard to slice sounding loudly.
"The only thing you will accomplish like that is dulling your blade." I chided.
"What manner of being are you?" Lita gasped in astonishment.
"Girl," I grinned widely, "You ain't never had a friend like me."
"So you are all travelers from other worlds." Lita led the conversation looking for an expansion on the since glossed over topic as we sat around a campfire and drank flagons of mead. The locals only had kegs of beer, but I granted Eddie his wish for mead by cracking out the Horn of Party Hardy. The people here were rightly impressed not just by the infinite and multifarious nature of the horn, but also its demon god origin.
"Go easy on Eddie." Jack joked, "It's his first time."
The man took the joke and the girls' giggles on the chin like a champ, earning a bit of my respect. Too many people get their haunches up when anyone questions their sexual prowess or preferences, and those are really the lowest form of shit a person can fling.
"Yeah, well. We all can't be packing an interdimensional transport device in our pants… Oh wait, I totally do!" he grinned and pointed down to his sick belt buckle, a miniature of Ormagoden's head, "I was brought here by this little guy."
"You were brought here by Ormagoden, the Eternal Firebeast?" Lita gasped.
"The Cremator of the Sky." Lars added, raising his gaze and his fist to the air.
"The Destroyer of the Ancient World." Ophelia said with reverence.
"Damn, dude." I grunted, "Making me feel bad for getting here with my dick."
"That is a pretty sick super power, dude." Eddie chuckled as the local trio conferred before doing a soft reveal of an prophesied warrior who would either destroy or deliver mankind.
Eddie pushed all that off onto Lars citing his role as roadie, not the leading man.
"I don't know if that is a good idea, buddy." I counseled my metalhead pal, "I've dealt with a couple Chosen Ones before. The prophecy got fulfilled even when I pushed the Chosen One out of the spotlight. It just turned out that I was the weapon that destroyed the Sith and brought balance to the Force."
"Dude." Eddie looked at me in awe, "You went to Star Wars?"
"Fuck yeah dude." I grinned, "Nearly conquered the whole galaxy before we transported to the next universe. Darth Jar Jar was totally true."
"I knew they shouldn't have trusted that floppy eared bastard" Eddie roared in excitement, "He was sketchy as fuck!"
"Darth Jar Jar?" Lita aked skeptically.
"An ancient lord of dark magic." I smiled thinking about that epic battle, "He used his magic to bulk up his body to be even larger than me and could hold himself together so tightly that no matter how much you slashed, stabbed, or bludgeoned him you couldn't defeat him. We ended up burning him to death. When in doubt, kill it with fire."
"Metal." she signed wistfully.
We spent the rest of the evening telling the tales of our adventures while Eddie tried to explain the future world he came from with Ophelia, Lars, and Lita speaking of their limited knowledge of the Brutal Lands. I had a good feeling about these people.
Jack and I were up after the rest of them went to sleep and we found some old instruments of various sizes and states of rot. We found an oversized bass guitar and a beat up six string that needed just a little elbow grease to get into fine working condition. We didn't know how to play them, but we knew for sure that those old guitars felt good in our hands.
We experimented through the wee hours of the morning, not like a pair of idiots, but using our vastly enhanced minds and senses to figure out how to manipulate the instruments into making their various noises. Once again I felt the guiding hands of the Titans as we worked. This was a world that wanted music blaring out, and would support those seeking to make it so.
Eddie came by after sun up while I was working a funky riff from my memories.
"Is that Chili Peppers?" he asked as he approached.
"I am almost there." I nodded, "Not quite yet channeling the great spirit of Flea, but baby steps. Just started learning last night."
"You picked that up in one night?" Eddie seemed affronted.
"If that has got you bothered check out Jack." I grinned and the wife started working a blistering guitar riff.
We could all feel the magic working in the music and Eddie pulled out his guitar Clementine and started working with us on the music. Once I got a sense of underpinning the songs, the healing magic of the bass started working on all those who could hear it.
We spent that first week in the Brutal Lands working on our music with Eddie and exploring the region around Bladehenge. While the wildlife certainly kept things fun, the freeing of our first Bound Serpent Statue was what really turned me on to scouring the land. In the games, freeing the Bound Serpent Statues turns Eddie into a demigod bit by bit for every ten statues he frees as his body is mixed with Ormagoden's flesh, blood, scream, and fire. We each felt a little something enter us through the action under the approval of the Titans in the form of a small fire tribute. With it, freeing the statues became my primary goal in the brutal lands, far more than helping Eddie and defeating Doviculus.
Every tenth statue the feeling changed, for the first ten we freed our flesh mingled with Ormagoden's and we became all the tougher for it. The next ten doubled our healing speed as Ormagonden's blood mixed with ours. In the final ten that we found that week, Ormagoden's scream strengthened our voices, Eddie gained a healing aura that restored those of a friendly disposition and Jack gained a sonic scream similar to Black Canary. Just what the doctor ordered more destructive powers for Jack. I pity the fool that gets hit with it after she figures out how to mix it with her biotic power.
I got the Battle Cry, a simultaneous buff/debuff with a small impact zone around me, just enough to knock a normal human sized target to the ground and stagger bigger foes. With all three of us gaining separate powers from the scream I was excited to see what we got from the fire coming up. I know game Eddie got a slight boost to flight speed in his demonic RTS form, but unless Jack and I sprout wings suddenly, (a real possibility with Brutal Lands demon heritage) we shouldn't get the same ability.
By the end of the week, Eddie had his Brutal Lands sea legs under him and it was time for a revolution. I was pumped to go on another kick as adventure with my friends when Lars dumped cold xenophobic ice all over my enthusiasm. I'd have been impressed with his brass sack if I wasn't furiously contemplating murdering him.
"The revolution must be fought by human hands." Lars said as we were packing the Druid Plow with post victory beer kegs, "We appreciate your support, Grunt, but cannot have you fighting beside us if this uprising is to mean anything."
This asshat was kicking me, rise up and slay the gods Grunt, from the heavy metal revolution.
It took me a minute to figure out what to say, I wanted to smash him for sure, but that would totally prevent him from getting his scrub ass killed by Doviculus. That was a far more demeaning death.
"If that is the hill you want to die on." I growled and put the kegs I was carrying down.
"Of course there is room in the revolution for you, Jack." Lars nodded as he threaded closer and closer to fist to cranium related death.
"I knew I could smell stupid wafting off you." Jack spat, "Come on, babe. Lets get the fuck out of here before our xeno taints the human revolution."
We packed up our shit and rode out into the Brutal Lands.
PERTIMBANGAN PENCIPTA
JManM
JManM
Experianced my first bit of jank with the publishing software used by this platform when I finished editing this chapter and all of it suddenly vanished and I was left with a blank screen were my words used to be. Thank God I use a different word processor for my drafts and just copy and paste here for the final editing and formating.
Throughout the various jumps people have reacted poorly to Grunt's appearance, but come to love and support him for what he represents and stands for. For the first time he has a positive initial reaction but gets rejected for what he represents and stands for. I didn't think about that inversion until after I made the choice to have Lars reject Grunt.
We got to see a bit of Grunt's vindictiveness and megalomania in his thoughts regarding the matter, but outwardly he dealt with it using a similar grace he respected Eddie for when the man was under sexual ridicule.
I am American through and through, so I will have to disappoint everyone who has been brainwashed by Xanxia fiction into thinking that a protagonist needs to react with psychotic implacatable rage any time someone disses him. Grunt isn't going to fly off the handle and slay Lars and his family from his grandfather to his gransons over some trifling bullshit.
Good news everyone. Thanks to MrBadMan17 and SeekingRaven you will all be treated to two bonus chapters this weekend.
If you want to contribute to the bonus chapter pool, you can do so at
ko - fi . com / jman
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