Bab 51: Come On and Grab Your Friends
I'd have to check with the mages whether or not complete envy could cause adverse magical effects, because when the rest of the Companions returned from their various missions and saw the five of us decked out in dragon gear and practicing with our new dragon bone bows, I could see them transforming like gremlins that had been fed after midnight.
After testing I found that dragon bones couldn't hold an edge worth a damn, but could take a beating and a half and were quite springy, making them perfect for armor and bows. I also worked with the scales and wing leather to ensure that our pal, Mirmulnir, didn't go to waste. All in all the fight was a substantial upgrade for Aela, Athis, Kodlak, Jack, and me.
I was so thorough with using that guy that even his sinews were used for bow strings. It made me feel like one of those hippy dippy nature guys who is all about connecting to mother earth and the ancestors and respecting the animal for its sacrifice. Fuck those guys. Nature exists to kill you and the only reason you are alive is because your ancestors were hard as fuck and did their best to ram nature in the ass every chance they got. Every time one of those asshats gets mauled by a bear or killed by a deer I laugh.
Oh mister deer, you are so beautiful and majestic. OH MISTER DEER WHY ARE YOU KILLING ME WITH YOUR ANTLERS! OH NO, AHHH!
Good times.
We were halfway through dinner listening to Vilkas and Farkas planning out a tour of the old dragon burial mounds to search for another dragon to slay when Brienne of Bruma appeared.
The girl looked much improved since the fight with Mirmulnir, decked out in warm wool clothing with fine leather boots and coat over a chainmail hauberk. She finished her ensemble with a Whiterun yellow wool cloak and a new targe and dirk with a short spear that could double as a walking staff.
"Excuse me everyone." Brienne tried to speak over the boisterous dinnertime feasting.
"Excuse me!" She shouted over the din.
"The young Dragonborn has come to Jorrvaskr." Kodlak spoke, halting the various conversations, "How can we help you, girl?"
"I've been tasked with traveling to High Hrothgar, and though the Jarl has been very helpful, I do not know the way and have heard the path ahead is dangerous."
"Then you have come to the right place." Kodlak stated, "Many of us have made the climb, and for the right price will do so again as your escort."
"I'm afraid I do not have much in the way of coin." she shook her head, "When the Jarl offered to pay me for services rendered I asked that he help me gather what I needed to make the journey."
"Then you have nothing we want." Scoffed the sourpuss Njada Stonearm, "Away with you."
Brienne looked properly mollified by the refusal, and it appeared no one else was going to stick their necks out to help the literal Elder Scrolls Messiah. Like all things in life, it is better for the giant lizard man to lead the charge.
"Some Companions you all have turned out to be." I spat quite literally at Njada who leapt at me in anger and ate a knockout knuckle sandwich for her troubles.
"I'd been told that this is where the true spirit of Skyrim lives. Honor and blood and all that." I stood up and looked around, "But all I hear is 'Where's the gold?'. When the gods damned dragon born shows up looking for help on an adventure, even one that sounds simple, are we not the people who should leap at the chance. The dragons have returned and the Dragonborn comes, the world is changing and for all time it will be remembered that the Companions refused the call of adventure. But not me. You have my axe, Brienne."
I raised up The Mule and Jack looked at me like 'You did not just rip off the Council of Elrond, you fucking dork.'
She just sighed and lifted up her longsword, "And you have my blade." She deadpanned.
"And my bow." Agreed Aela.
Soon all of the Companions had declared themselves for the journey, even Njada after she got up and declared that she hadn't been knocked out.
"Then it is settled!" Kodlak declared, full of more vigor than I had ever seen him, "Tonight you join us for a feast in Jorrvaskr, Dragonborn. And tomorrow the Companions join you for the battles to come."
Brienne made her way over to me with a pair of misty eyes.
"I came here hoping I could just convince you and your wife to help." she said as she sat down, "And now you have rallied all the Companions to aid me. I don't know how I could ever repay you."
"It was silly of them not to see this for the offer it was." I shook my head, "The adventure of a lifetime. For the coming of the dragons means the coming of Alduin, the great black dread, the world eater, the end of existence."
"The dragon that destroyed Helgan!" Brienne looked at me with wide blue eyes hinting at panic.
"The very same." I nodded, "It will be up to us to defeat him, or he will devour the whole world. No pressure."
"That seems like a lot of pressure." Brienne looked at her empty plate full of anxiety.
"Don't worry about a thing, kid." I chucked as I loaded her up with meat and a side of meat on top of more meat, "You ain't never had a friend like me."
The next morning we locked down Jorrvaskr and gave the fragments of Wuthrad to the Jarl for protection. Once more the Loot Sled proved itself when we loaded it up with the provisions and supplies needed for the journey. Mostly we were loaded down with barrels of mead, but what more do a pack of badasses need for a road trip.
"I say we keep heading west from the towers and hit the burial mound in the hot springs." Farkas insisted while Skjor shook his head.
"That will add an entire week to our schedule." The older man denied.
"Come on Skjor!" Torvar begged, "Athis hasn't stopped rubbing his dragon scale hauberk in my face since we got back. If there is a chance there is a dragon in the area, we need to take it. Otherwise that smug elf will keep being an insufferable ass."
"Even if you do get to slay a dragon, I will always have the honor of being apart of the first to do so in this age." Athis smirked at the slovenly nord.
"Oh my!" Torvar mocked, "Remind us again about how you rode Jack and Grunt's coattails to an easy win."
"You say that like you wouldn't have run face first into a stream of fire, you worthless drunk." Athis countered.
"Enough." Skjor called, "We will camp out at the towers and Farkus will run ahead to check. If he sees a dragon in the area, then we will make the detour. Now be silent before I get angry."
"Where are the horses?" Brienne asked while looking at the huge load on the sled.
I just laughed and strapped myself into the harness.
As we set out on our way to High Hrothgar we did so to the weeping and lamentations of many women as they threw flowers down on the path.
"It fucking kills me every time I see this." Torvar muttered.
"What exactly is happening right now?" Brienne asked in concern.
"Everytime they find out Grunt is leaving they put together this big sendoff!" Torvar exploded, "Like the last source of good dick has left town and they will be in morning till he returns. I've got what you need right here!" he shouted and grabbed his junk.
"What you got and what he got can't even be called the same thing!" Someone in the crowd of weeping women shouted, "Take your sad penis elsewhere, Skyrim is for smooth lizard cock!"
I snorted when I heard that racist catchphrase perverted, quite literally. Who knew sex appeal and prowess was the cure for racism? Or is it that my dick is too powerful to be tied down by petty ignorance? I can fuck my way through the fabric of reality, so can I fuck my way through the evil in the human heart? It will require more testing, and I am sure the people of Skyrim are happy to help.
PERTIMBANGAN PENCIPTA 
JManM
JManM The last two days have been rough, but I posted this anyways. Between allergies and fatigue I almost chose to not work on this today, but once you start doing that you will find more reasons to delay your writing until pretty soon you might as well let people know you have dropped the story.
Seen it happen a hundred times, and I don't want it to happen to me.
You can support me and my family at
ko - fi . com / jmanm
Bab 52: Trusting Strangers
I dragged another body away from the Valtheim Towers to my workstation. In Nirn cannibalism is applied to any sentient being that eats the flesh of another sentient being, but when have I ever let the local customs come between me and a fresh kill. I doubt even the werewolves of the Circle deal with the mouthwatering craving when they enter combat, identifying the foe as prey rather than an enemy. And so I do my work well away from the others, butchering my victims and smoking the meat for future snacks as I treat myself to a raw morsel here and there.
The act would horrify my past self, but he wasn't a giant lizard man, and while memory and perspective may tinge the now, hormones and instinct are far more powerful than most realize. We are not what we eat, we are a culmination of millions of years of action and reaction, survival and success. Navel gazing and bemoaning your nature is for other men, weak men. The weak are meat and the strong must eat.
After all, waste is the only true tragedy.
The Companions of course know of my predations - the details of my close friendship with the bosmer brother's who own the Drunken Huntsman are well known in Whiterun - and they operate under a general out of sight out of mind mentality the same way in which I ignore their furry little problem. Thank the Divines they hadn't approached me with an offer of joining their merry little band of werewolves. Imagine this glorious body transitioning to mammality. Heinous, disgusting, unthinkable.
I made my way back to our camp after hanging the remaining meat to smoke and having sucked the marrow out of the best bones. Aela and Jack were instructing Brienne in a bit of target practice alongside many of the more range challenged fighters. The general consensus had us as dragon slayers till there were no more dragons to be slain, a glorious or disastrous entry into the Companions saga depending on how well we do, but with one win under our belts we definitely were off to a great start.
We drew straws for the night's watch and I drew the lucky last straw, my watch the hour before dawn. After a restful night's sleep I enjoyed the peaceful sunrise and doubled up as the cook for breakfast, something the returning Farkas appreciated as he finished lacing up one of his bracers.
"From the look on your face I can assume you did in fact spot the dragon where you expected it." I grinned as I scrambled some eggs Aela had scavenged up from nearby nests.
"Big white bastard was just sleeping on top of the ancient word wall!" Farkas smiled at the memory despite the likely exhaustion from both his transformation and running such a great distance.
"Then it is good everyone spent some time working on their archery yesterday." I told him and handed him a plate of eggs and sausage, "We will need to prevent the damn thing from flying unless we want to let it escape."
"We won't let that happen." he referred to the Skyforge Steel great bow I passed onto him before we left.
Standard arrow shafts were unable to impede the beast's capabilities unless they struck in the eye or nostril, any shots to the wing joint would either bounce off or break off with little hindrance, but the thick javelins fired from our great bows were more than enough to cripple the joint and prevent flight.
Only Jack and Farkas possessed the raw strength to operate the great bows out of the rest of my companions, making them far more valuable to a dragon slaying operation than the others. Torvar, Kodlak, and Vilkas all favored weapons heavy enough to be a genuine threat to our winged nemeses, while everyone else were only good for harrying strikes. They'd be able to bleed the dragons at the very least.
As the rest of our team rose with the sun and set upon the food and mead, Farkas explained the presence of the dragon at the Bonestrewn Crest. With target confirmation we set out on the road to glory.
Which was immediately waylaid by the presence of a man on the road south calling out to us.
"Thank the gods." the nord declared, "There is a necromancer in my family crypt defiling the bodies of my ancestors! My aunt has already gone in after him, but we need help."
"You let your aunt fight a necromancer alone?" Jack asked in disgust.
"It shames me, but I have had a crippling fear of the place ever since I was a child." He hung his head low, "Please, I beg of you, stop this madness."
Brienne looked to Kodlak who gestured for her to make the choice.
"We will help you hunt down the necromancer." Brienne nodded and allowed the man to lead us to his family tomb carved into the mountain side.
When we got there I noticed a problem right away.
"Your ancestors didn't build this place with accessibility for people like me in mind, did they?" I muttered as I looked at the entrance that would be tight for the normies, let alone a meat mountain like me.
"I don't think anyone has ever built anything with people like you in mind." Golldir commented, "Perhaps it is best you wait at the entrance, be there to catch the necromancer if he runs from us. In fact, I might just stay with you… double the chances just in case."
"Suit yourself." I told him as I ripped up a nearby boulder and placed it in front of the tomb before sitting on it.
"How?" was all Golldir asked as he gaped at the feat of incredible strength.
"Some people are just made different." Jack smirked before following Brienne into the tomb.
"I bet they are getting to fight all sorts of undead." I mused while Golldir and I waited, "Draugr, skeletons, maybe some zombies. Bet they are having lots of fun hacking them to bits."
"Have a care." The man objected, "Those are the bodies of my ancestors they would be hacking to bits."
"Think they are tearing up your aunt's reanimated corpse." I idly spoke while I chewed on some smoked breton.
"I hate you." Golldir snarled, "I hate you so much."
"Don't let the whole you owe us for saving the day thing stop you from coming at me." I mocked, "You happen to be at the perfect place to drop off your craven body."
"That's it!" The man drew his axe and I snatched up his neck in one hand, raising him up into the air as he tried to hack my arm to no avail. When that failed he tried kicking me, to an even lesser reaction while I choked the life from him.
As he finally stopped twitching I dropped his dead body and laughed at the eye bulged expression on his face. I didn't risk eating him, as his cowardice is probably too contagious for even my immune system to handle, so I fleeced his pockets and pouches and tossed him into his family crypt.
About an hour later the crew came out of the cairn having successfully slain the necromancer.
"What happened to Golldir?" Brienne demanded.
"He caught a fatal case of stupid." I told her, "Happens sometimes."
"Really?" Brienne fake asked, "Because it looks like he was strangled by a man with very big hands."
"Big hand." I corrected her, "I strangled him with only one hand."
"Why?" she cried in outrage, "Why would you kill the man we were helping."
"Sometimes people turn on you, Tater Tot." I said while looking her in the eyes, "You just have to hope that when they do they are as stupid about it as your pal Golldir. The odds of it happening are a ratio of how scary you are to how dumb they are. Some people are just too stupid to live. Get comfortable with that. Killing them is a favor to the universe."
"Are you going to turn on me?" Brienne accused, "Is this the start of some crazy lesson?"
"Nah." I denied, "But that would be some good foreshadowing for the double cross if I was dumb enough to betray the literal Messiah. Sorry kid, you're stuck with me cause I got to get you to the Alduin fight or the world gets eaten."
"And after the world is saved?" she looked at me with wide eyes.
"Now those are some good instincts." I complimented her, "Keep thinking like that and you just might catch some smug asshole before he gets the drop on you."
"Goddammit Grunt." Jack interrupted, "Stop trying to traumatize the girl. You want her jumping at shadows?"
"Alright alright, I'll chill on teaching her lessons." I swore to the wife, "But if she winds up bleeding on the ground while some asshat monologues about what a fool she is and how she has been a pawn in his game the whole time I am blaming you."
"You think I haven't already told her how dumb it is to help out randos she meets on the road side." Jack hmphed, "You are like a whole half our late, Big Guy, been there and done that."
"Ahh." I sighed, "Well Golldir died like a bitch."
Ha! The last word is mine!
PERTIMBANGAN PENCIPTA
JManM
JManM
I have some bad news. I will not beable to get back to a two a day schedule for the foreseeable future.
My employee turn over rate is terrible right now, and I am down to mostly my ride or die employees who have been working with me since before I founded my company, and because the contracts still need to get fullfilled I will be out in the field laying the concrete down myself for the next month or so.
Lots of people are in a similar position right now as the major companies snatch up as much of the labor pool as they can. Guys like me just can't compete with the payrates and benifits these corpos can offer.
On a side note if you live in the Phoenix area and aren't afraid of long hours of back breaking work, I am hiring.
If you want to support me and my family you can do so at
ko - fi . com / jmanm
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