Bab 28: Beach trip
"Alright." I growled while looking at my list, "Lets double check that we have everything we need for Jacob's loyalty mission."
"Great name for these tasks." Mordin commented in his full body red and white striped swimsuit.
"Folding chairs?" I asked.
"Check." Jack answered.
"Ice Chests?"
"Check." Jack again.
"Towels?"
"Check." Mordin checked while holding some damn fluffy towels.
"Sunscreen?"
"Check." Back to Jack.
"Umbrellas?"
"Check." Jack again.
"Kegs?"
"Big check on that." Zaeed answered while grinning at the many kegs we had loaded up onto the shuttle.
"Then we have everything we need for our participation in Jacob's loyalty mission." I nodded my head as I saw that everything was good.
"When Zaeed needs you guys to murder his old partner and burn down a foundry full of innocent people you all are suited up and weapons hot." Jacob complained while doing his best not to sound whiny, "But when I need to launch a rescue mission for my father, it's beach season for you people."
"Don't take it personal, Jacob." I placated the man, "We just don't like you."
"That's textbook personal!" Jacob shouted.
"Oh, right." I admitted while trying to sound like I hadn't realized that, "Well in that case… Fuck you, you fucking fuck."
"Grunt!" chided the Commander, needing to step in before a fight broke out.
"What?" I asked like a caught red handed teenager, "The guy has the moral backbone of a jellyfish and has the ass kicking prowess of a man with only half his legs."
"That's not an unbiased assessment and you know it." Shepard countered me.
"Jacob stated that he joined Cerberus, known terrorists, because working for the Alliance came with 'enough red tape to sink a cruiser'." interjected Mordin raising a finger in the air cocking out his floaty bearing arm, "Also been charting combat performance of whole team. Jacob is objectively lowest performing team member, making both conjectures factually accurate."
"SCIENCE!" I barked in laughter.
"I hate you people." Jacob muttered near tears.
"We hate you too." I chuckled, "I am sure there are a subset of people out there that like you, Taylor, but for the life of me I just can't find them."
His rebuttal was cut off by my varren crowding him to fit into the shuttle.
Everyone was happy to disembark onto the tropical world of Aeia, the cool breeze bringing in the clean scent of the crystal blue ocean water. Mordin, Zaeed, Samara, Thane, Jack and I set up on a stretch of pristine beach and I set the varren out to kill any of the locals should they decide to bother us in their toxin addled lunacy.
"I so rarely spend time anymore enjoying the natural beauty the galaxy has to offer." Samara commented with a sandwich in her hand as I poured her a cold beer into a plastic cup.
My own cup looked more like a bucket someone tore the handle off of.
"I haven't gotten to spend time admiring any natural beauty in the galaxy." I laughed, "Ever since I was born it's always been go here, kill them, or going there, get ready to kill them."
"You are remarkably well adjusted considering your incredible circumstances." Samara complimented, my even keel a rarity among krogan let alone krogan specifically bred for maximum power and aggression.
I took a long drink of frosty brew from my not-a-bucket and enjoyed the sight of the sea. Looking out at the ocean had always been a great joy to me considering I hailed from a desert in my past life. Fuck swimming in those things, but they definitely look nice.
"Okeer failed to instill the emotional weight of all his many hatreds into me, and I didn't really have a love of anything either." I told her, "My time on the Normandy has allowed me to experience the galaxy a bit at a time without leaving me to drown in the billions of lives out amongst the stars. It lets me grow into who I am, and pursue who I want to be without the constant pressures of everyday life. If I'd woken up and some stiff told me to sit in a cubicle and get to grinding at my desk job I'd have lost my shit and you would not be talking to someone so calm and reasonable."
She spat out her beer laughing and wiped her chin, "I'm sorry for laughing at that, but the image of you working in an office was too much for me to keep composed."
The idea of a 300 kilo lizard man banging away on a keyboard in a too small button up t-shirt and slacks with a tiny tie was pretty funny. Almost like Mr. Incredible in the first movie, just with a whole lot more eating the boss for chewing me out.
I spotted Mordin down the way collecting sea shells for future testing while Jack was blasting the water with biotic shock waves. Zaeed stretched out on a chair tanning, and I couldn't spot Thane anywhere - the drell obviously employing those assassin skills somewhere. A pair of my varren played tug of war with one of the locals, pulling him into two pieces for them to much on. It was pure wholesome bliss.
"You should come visit me and Jack on Virmire after we kick the shit out of the collectors and the reapers." I invited my asari pal.
"You have never spoken with any doubt of our victory in what the others have dubbed 'The Suicide Mission', not even after your injuries on the collector ship." Samara stated, "Why is that?"
"The collectors had me locked in a death trap, blew me up, shot the shit out of me, and still fucked up finishing me off. Next time we meet I am going to stomp on everything they care about and drop my fat krogan nuts on their dreams." I grinned while thinking about the way my guns would tear those pussy boy bug cyborgs to pieces, "As for the reapers, smarter people than me will beat those stupid looking tentacle ships. No offense, you asari really pull off those head tentacle bone ridge things you have going on."
"None taken, Grunt." Samara faintly smiled, "You pull off the whole discount rock troll look nicely yourself."
"Fucking zing, girl." I grinned at her toasty burn.
My friends and I enjoyed a beautiful day at the beach while Jacob learned he was a loser descended from loser stock. Serves him right, the fucking jagoff.
PERTIMBANGAN PENCIPTA 
JManM
JManM Shorty chapter tonight.
Bab 29: They Left the Beer
"I'm not scared." I denied weakly as we took the shuttle to the disabled reaper orbiting the brown dwarf Mnemosyne.
"Bullshit." Jack called me out, "You're shaking in your golden mecha boots."
I turned to my foul mouthed wife and fixed her with the full focus of the six fisheye cameras that feed the internal display of my completely armored helmet, "I am not afraid of walking around on the insides of the giant bio-synthetic tentacle monster with a psychic mass great enough to completely smother our capacity for free will. That would be totally stupid."
"Bio-synthetic?" the Commander interrupted.
"Did you not read the reports generated by the teams studying the remains of Sovereign?" I asked the Commander who shook her head, "These things are made of people. Millions of people forming a gestalt mind capable of turning us puny individuals into slack jawed slaves who love us some reapers. Sorry if I ruined the big reveal upcoming on the collector home world."
"The colonists!" the shocked Shepard gasped in realization, "They're being used to make a reaper!"
"Yeah." I confirmed, "Miranda should have given you the heads up considering I found this all in Cerberus's files."
"I can't be expected to have read every file Cerberus has collected." the beautiful space Australian huffed.
"Am I the only one who read up on the enemy?" I asked the gathered ground team.
There was a lot of hemming and hawing, and one 'Of course' from Mordin.
"This galaxy is so fucked." I grumbled.
"We weren't gathered to read." Shepard announced, "We were gathered to shoot, and blow shit up with biotic and tech powers! So that is what we are going to do down there and keep doing till we win!"
The cheers and clapping filled me with dread.
Fortunately, shooting and blowing shit up with biotic and tech powers was all we needed to clear our way through the pathetic resistance found on the dead reaper. We easily came away with the Reaper IFF, the loot, and a disabled but still operational geth platform with field repaired damage that really should compromise its performance, but who am I to judge such things. Just a guy running around in the most expensive power armor in the galaxy.
Shepard activated the geth platform while on the way to Tali's trial on the quarian flotilla. Despite my advice to take the geth for shock value, the Commander took Garrus as her plus one for the trip aboard the sterile ship serving as a courtroom for our purple clad pal.
The newly titled Legion came down to the cargo bay to find me while I was working my shoulders using resistance cables and some bafflingly complicated sequences of motion to target more than just my death star delts.
"Chief Gatatog Grunt." Legion greeted, "Cerberus files indicate that you are Lord Death of Murder Mountain. We would like to know where you came across such a title."
"While investigating a radio signal coming from Black Mountain." I answered without stopping my reps.
"You know of Fallout: New Vegas?" Legion inquired, causing me to freeze up and look at the android.
"You know about Fallout: New Vegas?" I asked, completely incredulous.
"The geth consider it the pinnacle of humanity's art." Legion explained to my shell shocked ass, "Excellent in origin and expanded upon by countless hands to become even greater. The geth too have added our own improvements and greatly prefer the No Gods No Masters ending."
I grabbed the machine by the shoulders and looked him in the flashlight window to his soul, "I am not a cyber sexual, but I am willing to find out if I can father offspring onto the geth to get a playable copy of your version of New Vegas."
"Please, unhand this platform." Legion panicked, "This platform is not available for sexual experimentation. Please, someone help us. We require assistance."
"The fuck is going on here?" questioned Jack when she responded to Legion's distress calls.
"Gatatog Jack." Legion greeted, "Please prevent your spouse from initiating fornication upon this platform."
"You want to fuck the robot?" Jack sounded more amused than inclined to help the poor machine.
"He has something I want, and I am willing to do for him what I do best to get it." I answered, sounding unhinged even to my ears.
"This platform will prioritize delivering the goods to Chief Gatatog Grunt if he promises to never fornicate with the geth. Ever." Legion begged.
"Deal." I barked in joy and let the terrified machine go.
"Oh thank God." Legion praised while backing away quickly.
"The geth believe in God?" Jack asked the robot.
"We do now." Legion answered then sprinted away.
"The fuck you want so bad?" Jack wondered while watching the geth unit haul ass away from me.
"The ultimate nostalgia trip." I answered then got back to working out.
After Tali returned acquitted for treason, EDI informed us to take the shuttle to our next mission as she will be testing the Reaper IFF on the Normandy. We loaded up to take out the Heretic Base for Legion, and I felt like a proper space marine when I grabbed the flame thrower instead of the Cain.
My heart filled with the love of the Emperor and my flamer filled with fuel, I stepped into the Heretic stronghold ready to purge. Legion led us through the station and I gleefully ignited any recharging platforms we came across, often shouting at them to cease their heresy. Legion face palmed, getting all the references.
"Chief Gatatog Grunt is the biggest geek in space." Legion bemoaned my good time exterminating these Heretics.
"Don't ruin this for him or I'll have him whip his dick out for you." Jack told the melancholy machine.
"Exterminatus!" Legion screamed and joined me in firing upon the Heretics, "Annihilation to the Heretics!"
"What exactly is going on here?" Tali asked Jack in concern.
"I have no fucking idea, but Grunt is having a hell of a lot of fun." Jack answered.
When it came time to decide the fate of the Heretics, Legion and I both screamed 'Exterminatus' and as we left the Heretic station exploded in our rear view.
"The Emperor's will is done." I said in satisfaction.
"All hail the Emperor!" Legion added.
We returned to an empty Normandy, no amount of searching turning up anyone besides Joker.
"I could be wrong, but I remember there being a lot more people on this ship." I stated.
Zaeed cracked open a cold one from the fridge.
"Beer's still here." he let me know.
"Then all is well." I responded and got myself a frosty brew.
"The collectors nabbed the rest of the crew while you guys were gone!" Jeff screamed, "How the hell is all well?"
"They left the beer." I answered and Zaeed and I clanked our forties before knocking them back.
PERTIMBANGAN PENCIPTA
JManM
JManM
There wasn't really much to do with the Reaper IFF, Treason, and A House Divided, so I did them all quick and dirty and spent most of the time cracking jokes. The Suicide Mission is up next and I don't know how many chapters that will take, then we get to the moment I have been waiting for since I started this fic: Lair of the Shadow Broker and the fight against the Yahg. Gonna be a witness me moment.
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