Bab 27: Morality is a Circle
Sometimes a man has to ask himself: where the fuck did I pick up the paragon points to make this situation happen? As Jack and Miranda jerked my shaft and sucked my quad, I realized that I must have cranked my renegade score high enough to cause life to bug out and start filling my paragon meter, cause there is no way I could pull off an intimidate check to get this result.
We've all been here at one point (hopefully, if not go play ME2). You complete Jack and Miranda's loyalty missions and next thing you know there is a vicious biotic catfight and you better have the morality points to pull off the persuade or intimidate or one of them is dying come suicide mission. Only this time Commander Shepard wasn't called in to fix things because the apparently charisma maxed giant space lizard man was on site to bring about this most jolly cooperation.
Scratch that, Shepard was called in and just arrived in time to catch me in my praise the sun moment.
How bout that awkward moment when your Space Momma sees you cumming your soul out cause your wife and her arch enemy are somehow working all four of your testicles with their mouths. #Relatable.
Not one to let a little thing like that chill the relationship, the Commander and I kept our appointment to work on her guns several hours and quarts of baby batter later.
As a glorious mixture of synthetic and organic material, Shepard could withstand and output forces that would snap a regular human in half. Because of this we could play around with her kit far more than anyone else's save mine, and while she couldn't follow my ethos of just adding more gun to my gun she had no problems handling the changes we were making to even her Widow anti-material rifle. We applied the Widow to Black Widow conversion that I'd used on all my weapons to beef up the thermal capacity at the cost of weight and threw on a thermal scope and high velocity barrel extension. Even with the cut on using ultralight materials the sniper cannon weighed an ungodly amount and the Commander could still operate it smoothly.
"You'll have to test everything once we get to Aeia, but unless we overlooked something you are looking at a damn fine power boost all around with a good deal of quality of life improvements outside of the weight increases." I told her while admiring my handy work.
My best work was applying the automatic conversion to her M-96 Mattock and working every trick in my arsenal to dampen the recoil, turning it into a precision workhorse. With the added weight of my modifications and the Commander's steady hands she could probably put a mug sized grouping at thirty meters just holding down the trigger. Fucking scary for anyone not as ridiculously durable as me… so everyone else in the galaxy minus the yahgs maybe. I'd find out who is tougher between me and the yahgs soon enough, one way or the other.
The commander shouldered the beast of an assault rifle we'd cooked up and grinned, "I'll go over everything with Garrus later tonight."
"Hoho. Hot date tonight, up in the main battery?" I asked while pleased for my homie Garrus.
"Not exactly." Shepard denied and now I felt sad for my homie Garrus.
"Did I imagine the awkward chemistry between you two lately?" I investigated, "Especially after you guys killed that prick, Sedonis."
"We didn't kill Sedonis." Shepard told me and I realized that it was silly of me to believe that paragon Shepard joined Garrus in that murder, "Garrus and I have talked about starting a romantic relationship, but he has been pretty self conscious since then. It doesn't help that I am liking what I am seeing of Jacob."
"Is this what Zaeed feels every time he sees me doing my beauty routine?" I asked myself aloud, "It's like I was so proud of you that my pride formed a pride puppy, and then you took that puppy and shot it with a gun that makes a noise that sounds like 'Team Jacob' instead of a satisfying gunshot noise. You murdered my pride puppy and now I am sad. This is what I am feeling right now."
"You sound really invested into 'Team Garrus'. What happened to the guy who wanted to marry me all those months ago?" Shepard teased me.
"He busted this really cool chick out of the clink, and they went on all these really cool adventures and fell in love, and got married after becoming the coolest special agents in the galaxy. You better hurry up Space Momma, cause the Lizard Baby is pulling ahead in all metrics of life success." I laughed after that last bit.
"Oh you silly boy." She chuckled, "Haven't you heard, 'You can fight like a krogan, you can run like a leopard, but you will never be better than Commander Shepard."
"Holy shit!" I barked out while nearly choking on my explosive laughter, "You've heard that?"
"I am not above searching my name on the net." The Commander admitted.
"With how polarizing you are, that can't be good." I told her.
"It usually feels like a kick to the chest." she agreed grimly, "And how the hell did you get all that stuff done back on the Citadel, you have no paperwork and were high for all of it."
"Turns out that the Citadel is super chill about processing superhero backstories. Apparently no one even cared that I was some super krogan grown in a lab and less than a year old. Not C-Sec, not the Spectres, and definitely not the hanar that did our marriage ceremony."
"You had a hanar do your marriage?" Shepard was hung up on the least exacerbating part of that reveal.
"Yeah, we found the guy you got the the evangelical license for on the Presidium and even though the Enkindlers can go fuck themselves it was too good a thread to leave untied." I explained.
"Small galaxy." She mused, "Any regrets about getting married? Most people are scared to death by the institution these days."
"I'm not scared of anything. Not even commitment." I flatly denied.
"Not even when you were getting torn up on the collector ship?" Shepard asked, "I was terrified when I got spaced. I was floating towards the planet, towards my doom, and I couldn't do anything to stop it. I was helpless, my worst nightmares playing out in real life."
"Not even a little bit." I answered her, "The blood rage meant I couldn't feel what was happening to me, so at first I was confused as hell about why I was slowing down, weakening. I didn't even realize I was fucked up till I saw it with the one eye I had left. And when I collapsed and just barely managed to roll over to look at something other than the fucking awful shit the bugs use for the floors of their ships, I saw all the pods and thought about how I was dying to make sure a bunch of people that would never give a shit about me never fill those damn things, but I didn't regret it at all. I'd spent my whole life going on kick ass adventures and fucking hot aliens. I was dying a total winner, no ragrets."
"Is it really that simple?" Shepard chuckled, "Just think about the cool parts of your life and dying isn't scary anymore?"
"Socrates taught that to fear death is nothing other than to think oneself wise when one is not; for it is to think one knows what one does not know. No man knows whether death may not even turn out to be the greatest blessing for a person; and yet people fear it as if they knew for certain that it is the greatest evil." I quoted one of the greatest minds the human race ever produced.
"Are you kidding me right now?" Shepard looked stunned.
"I've read Plato too." I told her as I got up and left the woman to deal with the fallout of realizing that a great big space lizard was more cultured than her.
As I walked away I bopped my head to a beat no one else could hear and sang, "Got a grey varren, white one and a tabby too, and a big orange guy who put snakes in my shoes. Mad MC skills leave ya struck, and I roll with my varren and we're hard as fuck . . . I'm down with Plato and Socrates, and I like to get busy with all the ladies. Rollin' around, sumthin', sumthin', sumthin', sumthin'. Uh nuh nuh, yeah I'm up in my nest, up in my nest."
PERTIMBANGAN PENCIPTA 
JManM
JManM The story hit a thousand readers yesterday and I feel pretty great about that. Keep up the interest and I will keep putting out chapters. Its a cycle and after Dragon's Dogma and Dark Souls usually feel like breaking those, but this is one where I benifit so keep it up.
Was I the only one that immidiately shanked myself with the God Killing Blade when we realized we could no longer interact with the world?
Bab 28: Beach trip
"Alright." I growled while looking at my list, "Lets double check that we have everything we need for Jacob's loyalty mission."
"Great name for these tasks." Mordin commented in his full body red and white striped swimsuit.
"Folding chairs?" I asked.
"Check." Jack answered.
"Ice Chests?"
"Check." Jack again.
"Towels?"
"Check." Mordin checked while holding some damn fluffy towels.
"Sunscreen?"
"Check." Back to Jack.
"Umbrellas?"
"Check." Jack again.
"Kegs?"
"Big check on that." Zaeed answered while grinning at the many kegs we had loaded up onto the shuttle.
"Then we have everything we need for our participation in Jacob's loyalty mission." I nodded my head as I saw that everything was good.
"When Zaeed needs you guys to murder his old partner and burn down a foundry full of innocent people you all are suited up and weapons hot." Jacob complained while doing his best not to sound whiny, "But when I need to launch a rescue mission for my father, it's beach season for you people."
"Don't take it personal, Jacob." I placated the man, "We just don't like you."
"That's textbook personal!" Jacob shouted.
"Oh, right." I admitted while trying to sound like I hadn't realized that, "Well in that case… Fuck you, you fucking fuck."
"Grunt!" chided the Commander, needing to step in before a fight broke out.
"What?" I asked like a caught red handed teenager, "The guy has the moral backbone of a jellyfish and has the ass kicking prowess of a man with only half his legs."
"That's not an unbiased assessment and you know it." Shepard countered me.
"Jacob stated that he joined Cerberus, known terrorists, because working for the Alliance came with 'enough red tape to sink a cruiser'." interjected Mordin raising a finger in the air cocking out his floaty bearing arm, "Also been charting combat performance of whole team. Jacob is objectively lowest performing team member, making both conjectures factually accurate."
"SCIENCE!" I barked in laughter.
"I hate you people." Jacob muttered near tears.
"We hate you too." I chuckled, "I am sure there are a subset of people out there that like you, Taylor, but for the life of me I just can't find them."
His rebuttal was cut off by my varren crowding him to fit into the shuttle.
Everyone was happy to disembark onto the tropical world of Aeia, the cool breeze bringing in the clean scent of the crystal blue ocean water. Mordin, Zaeed, Samara, Thane, Jack and I set up on a stretch of pristine beach and I set the varren out to kill any of the locals should they decide to bother us in their toxin addled lunacy.
"I so rarely spend time anymore enjoying the natural beauty the galaxy has to offer." Samara commented with a sandwich in her hand as I poured her a cold beer into a plastic cup.
My own cup looked more like a bucket someone tore the handle off of.
"I haven't gotten to spend time admiring any natural beauty in the galaxy." I laughed, "Ever since I was born it's always been go here, kill them, or going there, get ready to kill them."
"You are remarkably well adjusted considering your incredible circumstances." Samara complimented, my even keel a rarity among krogan let alone krogan specifically bred for maximum power and aggression.
I took a long drink of frosty brew from my not-a-bucket and enjoyed the sight of the sea. Looking out at the ocean had always been a great joy to me considering I hailed from a desert in my past life. Fuck swimming in those things, but they definitely look nice.
"Okeer failed to instill the emotional weight of all his many hatreds into me, and I didn't really have a love of anything either." I told her, "My time on the Normandy has allowed me to experience the galaxy a bit at a time without leaving me to drown in the billions of lives out amongst the stars. It lets me grow into who I am, and pursue who I want to be without the constant pressures of everyday life. If I'd woken up and some stiff told me to sit in a cubicle and get to grinding at my desk job I'd have lost my shit and you would not be talking to someone so calm and reasonable."
She spat out her beer laughing and wiped her chin, "I'm sorry for laughing at that, but the image of you working in an office was too much for me to keep composed."
The idea of a 300 kilo lizard man banging away on a keyboard in a too small button up t-shirt and slacks with a tiny tie was pretty funny. Almost like Mr. Incredible in the first movie, just with a whole lot more eating the boss for chewing me out.
I spotted Mordin down the way collecting sea shells for future testing while Jack was blasting the water with biotic shock waves. Zaeed stretched out on a chair tanning, and I couldn't spot Thane anywhere - the drell obviously employing those assassin skills somewhere. A pair of my varren played tug of war with one of the locals, pulling him into two pieces for them to much on. It was pure wholesome bliss.
"You should come visit me and Jack on Virmire after we kick the shit out of the collectors and the reapers." I invited my asari pal.
"You have never spoken with any doubt of our victory in what the others have dubbed 'The Suicide Mission', not even after your injuries on the collector ship." Samara stated, "Why is that?"
"The collectors had me locked in a death trap, blew me up, shot the shit out of me, and still fucked up finishing me off. Next time we meet I am going to stomp on everything they care about and drop my fat krogan nuts on their dreams." I grinned while thinking about the way my guns would tear those pussy boy bug cyborgs to pieces, "As for the reapers, smarter people than me will beat those stupid looking tentacle ships. No offense, you asari really pull off those head tentacle bone ridge things you have going on."
"None taken, Grunt." Samara faintly smiled, "You pull off the whole discount rock troll look nicely yourself."
"Fucking zing, girl." I grinned at her toasty burn.
My friends and I enjoyed a beautiful day at the beach while Jacob learned he was a loser descended from loser stock. Serves him right, the fucking jagoff.
PERTIMBANGAN PENCIPTA
JManM
JManM
Shorty chapter tonight.
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