42Ulasan-ulasan
4.32
- Kualitas penulisan
- Stabilitas Pembaruan
- Pengembangan Cerita
- Desain Karakter
- Latar Belakang Dunia
Bagikan pikiran Anda dengan orang lain
Tulis ulasan
[img=update][img=update][img=recommend][img=update][img=recommend][img=update][img=recommend][img=update][img=recommend][img=update][img=recommend][img=update][img=recommend][img=update][img=recommend][img=update]
The rating is kinda inflated since there's this one guy that keeps giving 5 star comments. Author should put up a drama tag or other tags that accurately sum up this fic because it's misleading. Tone down on the angst it's extremely unnecessary in my opinion. Because mc is the current owner of the body and not the previous person, so it makes no sense for mc to freak out and think he did something he actually didn't do. I think you should try to replicate the moments he spent with the lolis in the way you write his interaction with the older women because those interactions feel off. Instead of giving him caliginephobia or whatever you could have given him trust issues much simpler to write about than what you chose. The villain group was unnecessary. Since its a problem easily solved mc's precious self is unwittingly the founder and it's not like he's poor he's extremely rich and has ninjas and whatnot working under him. wiping them out is easy but then he realizes other people would just take their place so his hero complex caused by guilt so he decides to make his own organization. fits perfectly with the organized crime tag and you can use it to branch into a kengan storyline if you want. Make the system decent it's quite bad and the cancer if you fail a mission is not funny. started ok but lost me halfway
Sure the MC had a horrible life but after reincarnation HE HAD A SYSTEM so he could have grown a spine but he gets some fear of beutiful girls which is total bu**sh*t like you fear girls or you dont just get it over with because honestly this would be the best story about a guy who got betrayed so he loses faith in humanity or something,.
It's amazing, dear author, I'm waiting for the continuation of the story It's amazing, dear author, I'm waiting for the continuation of the story It's amazing, dear author, I'm waiting for the continuation of the story It's amazing, dear author, I'm waiting for the continuation of the story
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[img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]
Membuka SPOILER
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Although i dont like beta mc, i cant deny its a great fanfic[img=exp][img=faceslap][img=exp][img=update][img=exp][img=faceslap][img=recommend][img=faceslap][img=recommend][img=faceslap]
A miraculous story👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿
They expected a shameless review from Author-sama, BUT IT WAS ME, DIO! I would like to be Dio :'c but without the homosexual part ... Anyway, I hope you enjoy my attempt at an erotic novel ~ A hug <3
This is too horible, it's like I am witnessing a murder of a God right in front of me... And that's great! So I give you some wisdoms that i get out of this madness. "Man is a rope stretched between the animal and the Superman--a rope over an abyss. A dangerous crossing, a dangerous wayfaring, a dangerous looking-back, a dangerous trembling and halting. What is great in man is that he is a bridge and not a goal: what is lovable in man is that he is an OVER-GOING and a DOWN-GOING. I love those that know not how to live except as down-goers, for they are the over-goers. I love the great despisers, because they are the great adorers, and arrows of longing for the other shore. I love those who do not first seek a reason beyond the stars for going down and being sacrifices, but sacrifice themselves to the earth, that the earth of the Superman may hereafter arrive. I love him who lives in order to know, and seeks to know in order that the Superman may hereafter live. Thus seeks he his own down-going. I love him who labors and invents, that he may build the house for the Superman, and prepare for him earth, animal, and plant: for thus seeks he his own down-going. I love him who loves his virtue: for virtue is the will to down-going, and an arrow of longing. I love him who reserves no share of spirit for himself, but wants to be wholly the spirit of his virtue: thus walks he as spirit over the bridge. I love him who makes his virtue his inclination and destiny: thus, for the sake of his virtue, he is willing to live on, or live no more. I love him who desires not too many virtues. One virtue is more of a virtue than two, because it is more of a knot for one's destiny to cling to. I love him whose soul is lavish, who wants no thanks and does not give back: for he always bestows, and desires not to keep for himself. I love him who is ashamed when the dice fall in his favor, and who then asks: "Am I a dishonest player?"--for he is willing to succumb. I love him who scatters golden words in advance of his deeds, and always does more than he promises: for he seeks his own down-going. I love him who justifies the future ones, and redeems the past ones: for he is willing to succumb through the present ones. I love him who chastens his God, because he loves his God: for he must succumb through the wrath of his God. I love him whose soul is deep even in the wounding, and may succumb through a small matter: thus goes he willingly over the bridge. I love him whose soul is so overfull that he forgets himself, and all things that are in him: thus all things become his down-going. I love him who is of a free spirit and a free heart: thus is his head only the bowels of his heart; his heart, however, causes his down-going. I love all who are like heavy drops falling one by one out of the dark cloud that lowers over man: they herald the coming of the lightning, and succumb as heralds. Lo, I am a herald of the lightning, and a heavy drop out of the cloud: the lightning, however, is the SUPERMAN." " The real man wants two different things: danger and play. Therefore he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything".
[img=update][img=update][img=recommend][img=update][img=recommend][img=update][img=recommend][img=update][img=recommend][img=update][img=recommend][img=update][img=recommend][img=update][img=recommend][img=update]
The rating is kinda inflated since there's this one guy that keeps giving 5 star comments. Author should put up a drama tag or other tags that accurately sum up this fic because it's misleading. Tone down on the angst it's extremely unnecessary in my opinion. Because mc is the current owner of the body and not the previous person, so it makes no sense for mc to freak out and think he did something he actually didn't do. I think you should try to replicate the moments he spent with the lolis in the way you write his interaction with the older women because those interactions feel off. Instead of giving him caliginephobia or whatever you could have given him trust issues much simpler to write about than what you chose. The villain group was unnecessary. Since its a problem easily solved mc's precious self is unwittingly the founder and it's not like he's poor he's extremely rich and has ninjas and whatnot working under him. wiping them out is easy but then he realizes other people would just take their place so his hero complex caused by guilt so he decides to make his own organization. fits perfectly with the organized crime tag and you can use it to branch into a kengan storyline if you want. Make the system decent it's quite bad and the cancer if you fail a mission is not funny. started ok but lost me halfway
Sure the MC had a horrible life but after reincarnation HE HAD A SYSTEM so he could have grown a spine but he gets some fear of beutiful girls which is total bu**sh*t like you fear girls or you dont just get it over with because honestly this would be the best story about a guy who got betrayed so he loses faith in humanity or something,.
It's amazing, dear author, I'm waiting for the continuation of the story It's amazing, dear author, I'm waiting for the continuation of the story It's amazing, dear author, I'm waiting for the continuation of the story It's amazing, dear author, I'm waiting for the continuation of the story
[img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update]
[img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]
Membuka SPOILER [img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update]
Although i dont like beta mc, i cant deny its a great fanfic[img=exp][img=faceslap][img=exp][img=update][img=exp][img=faceslap][img=recommend][img=faceslap][img=recommend][img=faceslap]
A miraculous story👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿
They expected a shameless review from Author-sama, BUT IT WAS ME, DIO! I would like to be Dio :'c but without the homosexual part ... Anyway, I hope you enjoy my attempt at an erotic novel ~ A hug <3
This is too horible, it's like I am witnessing a murder of a God right in front of me... And that's great! So I give you some wisdoms that i get out of this madness. "Man is a rope stretched between the animal and the Superman--a rope over an abyss. A dangerous crossing, a dangerous wayfaring, a dangerous looking-back, a dangerous trembling and halting. What is great in man is that he is a bridge and not a goal: what is lovable in man is that he is an OVER-GOING and a DOWN-GOING. I love those that know not how to live except as down-goers, for they are the over-goers. I love the great despisers, because they are the great adorers, and arrows of longing for the other shore. I love those who do not first seek a reason beyond the stars for going down and being sacrifices, but sacrifice themselves to the earth, that the earth of the Superman may hereafter arrive. I love him who lives in order to know, and seeks to know in order that the Superman may hereafter live. Thus seeks he his own down-going. I love him who labors and invents, that he may build the house for the Superman, and prepare for him earth, animal, and plant: for thus seeks he his own down-going. I love him who loves his virtue: for virtue is the will to down-going, and an arrow of longing. I love him who reserves no share of spirit for himself, but wants to be wholly the spirit of his virtue: thus walks he as spirit over the bridge. I love him who makes his virtue his inclination and destiny: thus, for the sake of his virtue, he is willing to live on, or live no more. I love him who desires not too many virtues. One virtue is more of a virtue than two, because it is more of a knot for one's destiny to cling to. I love him whose soul is lavish, who wants no thanks and does not give back: for he always bestows, and desires not to keep for himself. I love him who is ashamed when the dice fall in his favor, and who then asks: "Am I a dishonest player?"--for he is willing to succumb. I love him who scatters golden words in advance of his deeds, and always does more than he promises: for he seeks his own down-going. I love him who justifies the future ones, and redeems the past ones: for he is willing to succumb through the present ones. I love him who chastens his God, because he loves his God: for he must succumb through the wrath of his God. I love him whose soul is deep even in the wounding, and may succumb through a small matter: thus goes he willingly over the bridge. I love him whose soul is so overfull that he forgets himself, and all things that are in him: thus all things become his down-going. I love him who is of a free spirit and a free heart: thus is his head only the bowels of his heart; his heart, however, causes his down-going. I love all who are like heavy drops falling one by one out of the dark cloud that lowers over man: they herald the coming of the lightning, and succumb as heralds. Lo, I am a herald of the lightning, and a heavy drop out of the cloud: the lightning, however, is the SUPERMAN." " The real man wants two different things: danger and play. Therefore he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything".