Bab 48: The Choice
"You can't make decisions for two people. Respectfully, Nicklos and Alliah are both adults who can make their own choices. You can't force one person to make a decision when the other might not even agree." Marquise angrilly slammed his fist on the table. I was taken aback by his reaction. This wouldn't effect him in anyway, so why would he intervene on my behalf?
Tucks sat quietly, eyeing him up and down. His face remained nuetral so it was hard to tell if he was angry or not. Even though I inwardly agreed with what he said, he still couldn't speak to a member of the royal family like this. It was ground for execution and I really didn't want to lose another member of my military. Gritting my teeth, I stared down at the table. Sorry Marquise, this wasn't your battle to fight.
"Marquise, I appreciate your efforts, but please refrain from speaking further. As a member oft he royal family, he is free to give me advice. Mr. Tucks is worried about his nephew and has every right to do so as family. He was kind enough to give me a choice instead of giving me a final answer. I think right now you should all leave." Marquise scoffed, shoving his mug across the table and pushing his chair back. His reaction wasn't what I was suspecting of the normally obediant solider.
"I have never seen anyone make decisions for you Alliah, so why is he different? Where is our strong leader that pushes to make a name for herself?" Marquise said angrilly, towering over me. So he saw this as me being weak. Well unfortunately I was starting to become that way. I was losing hope for solving this problem, and in a timely manor. This task has pushed my limits in every way. Why can't I appear weak for once?
"Marquise, that's enough. Please leave." My voice cracked. It sounded so weak and pitiful. It truly gave away how tired I was actually feeling, how tired I was. I had put so much weight on my shoulders for so long, that I was physically and mentally worn out. I really wasn't fit to be a Knight, maybe not even a Princess. I let myself crumble so easily.
So when Marquise angrilly stormed out, I felt myself fall a little deeper. I know he was just worried about me, but I was becoming desperate to solve this problem. I would do anything to keep my Kingdom safe, and that meant sacrifcing my pride to do so. My men have done more than enough to keep the people safe. Now it was my turn to go one step further to elliminate this problem.
Seria passed me one last pitiful glance before she turned to the door, Michael on her heels. It felt like I was the one forcing them to make the choice. Making them choose between your love life, or something you worked so hard for. Which is why I have to make the best choice, the answer really is so obvious. So I laughed weakly, my tired nerves finally starting to get the best of me.
"I have been on the battlefield for so long, this truly takes the cake. I let my pride and drive to make women equal to men weigh on my shoulders for so long. Everyone has always been against me. I have had to pull my men through difficult situations, just because others didn't want to help because of my gender. The hoops that I have jumped through just to get where I am, has made me this wild child in your eyes. But I don't regret any of it. I think in the end, it made me stronger as a leader. It made my men stronger as soliders." He sat quietly and listened to me, his fingers lightly tapping the table.
"I wouldn't change what I did. I am proud that I am a Princess, and a Knight. It may not look like it now, but I will be in the history books as the first female solider. My efforts will be inspiring to many changes that come in the future. My efforts, my accomplishments, they will all be seen as heroic despite looking idiotic now. But I say this, because I am growing wary. This battle has worn me thin, and I have been on my own for too long. I have already made my choice to step down when this is over."
"It's too early to try and convince the minds of men that women are capable, that they are more than just breeding sows that raise children. Seria is evidence in that regard. She has been amazing these last few days and I appreciate her efforts. I even have some wonderful researchers in my science department, and some of the men over their absolutely love her work. So I guess what I am trying to say, is that even though you made me a choice, I have other ways of influence. A woman warrior, was just too soon." I paused, smiling down at the table. Saying these things out loud, reminded me of the accomplishments that not only I have made, but others have too. I hate taking the credit for starting this movement, but I don't think it would have happened any sooner.
"In regards to your nephew, Mr. Tucks, he is a strong man who knows exactly what he wants. He is also your King. Do you really think that you have any right to make a choice for him? I understand you are looking out for him, but he is an adult who has been faced with many challenges as well. What about your younger nephew Jespah? I think you need to start worrying about him and his choice in women. After all, he is made to be marrying my sister. If you think my father was a tyrant, just wait until you meet her." I lifted my head and settled my gaze upon his. To my surprise their was a glimmer of amusement in his eyes. His lips where slightly tucked upwards as he watched me quietly.
"No wonder Nicklos admires you. You don't let others push you around easily. You aren't the woman Nicklos painted in my head from when you where younger. I think you have matured more since then," He paused, shoving his empty cup away from him. "Let me make it clear. I don't dislike you, I just don't want to see my nephew get hurt. He already had to watch his parents get murdered, and he spent a great deal of his time raising his younger brother. The empire right now is strong, maybe stronger than it ever was. Nicklos is the reason for that."
"I just don't want Nicklos's efforts to be wasted. He believes that Jespah can take his place on the throne, but I think he is honestly to weak. The responsibilites that come with take care of a Kingdom is no easy feat, and I just don't think he can do both. Where Nicklos is a strong man, you are a strong woman. Which is why I told Nicklos to try marrying your younger sister. I know who she is, the way she acts. But I think Nicklos can also manage her. But if not, then there are plenty of other Princess spread out through the land that he can take on."
"I just think that two strong people, would be too much in running one Kingdom. Not to mention you are both the successors to the throne. You have done so much for your Kingdom and he has done so much for his. I just don't think it's right that one of you has to sacrifice your efforts, so that you can be with each other. If you want help finding a suitor, I can do that, I just want you to let go of my Nephew, so he can continue ruling his Kingdom the right way. I also want you to continue successfully running yours. I know how much you care, and I also know that there are a lot of secrets to unbury with this burden. I gave you the choices, because I had just assumed you would pick continuing being a Knight." There was a sharp pain in my chest as he spoke.
As much as I didn't want to hear his words, I knew he was right. I wasn't going to give me Kingdom up, especially knowing Illia is not groomed to do so. I don't know much about Jespah. Everything I do know is from Nicklos, and his words are driven by desperation to be with someone he loves. He must have tried talking to Nicklos about this and wasn't getting anywhere. I was the next best option. In the end, this decision would hurt Nicklos, and I don't know if I could put him through that pain, knowing how I felt through that one year of silence. I also didn't like the thought of him marrying another woman and having kids.
I guess that was selfish of me too. But we both couldn't let our blood lines end just because we where going to be unhappy, it would happen sooner of later. Knowing dad, he allowed this marriage to happen because Nicklos was strong. He went through a hardship, and came out even better than before. He wasn't doing it because I was in love, but because we would better from it. So in the end, my father was still truly a selfish tyrant in the end. I have never felt so defeated.
"I understand what you are saying and I agree. I will end the engagement as soon as this battle is over. But under one condition. Neither of your nephews are to marry Illia. Not only do I think she is unworthy of such an arrangement, but I also suspect that she is playing a part in the downfall of the Kingdom and my assassination. I don't have enough evidence yet, but she has the motive." He nodded his head slowly.
"Very well, I can agree to that," He said rising slowly from his chair. Then he smiled down at me. "Again, I think you have done a fine job. A better job than most men in your situation. You have come back from impossible situations barely scathed. I also know you have a huge heart when it comes to people you care about. You really are a beautiful woman through and through. I am sorry that I had to come to you with this." I gave him a slight nod and a strained smile as my response.
With that, he left like a whisper in the wind, leaving me to mull things over. Once this was over, things would never be the same. That much I knew. Everday that passes, I feel like I am getting older and older. The weight was getting heavier and heavier, and I still had such a long road to go. Things wouldn't change as long as my father sat on the throne, and the more I learned about him, the more I was starting to realize how much I actually disliked this man.
It was becoming a possibility that I would have to take the throne over by choice. Just how many men would follow me to the very end?
Status Power Mingguan
-- Peringkat
Power 
-- Power
stone