Bab 62: Acceptance and Numbness
__________ POV Narration__________
Nao Izumi, the father of Kota Izumi and a great friend of Beru.
The news about his new identity was quite weird to hear for him. He was glad that his friend had finally managed to leave a life of crime.
But he also was afraid that he had now become a member of the Hero Public Safety Commission. He had heard unpleasant rumours about that place through quite a few circles.
Things wouldn't have been all that bad if the people that had started those rumours didn't all disappear or get branded as villains soon after.
Overall, he didn't know for sure what his friend had gotten himself into, but he didn't like the way things looked.
He was at least glad that his friend could now walk freely. Now, he could finally go and drink coffee with him in public!
Although Beru would much more have preferred actually drinking alcohol. Nao was just not that type of man. Ryoko(his wife) also wouldn't have been too pleased about him drinking.
He was not the only one rejoicing at the news of Beru's 'real' identity. Inko Midoriya was in a much better mood when hearing about that.
She had gotten attached to the child long ago, not long after Izuku. But her inability to find him again left her quite devastated.
Even if she now had her own problems, and her own child, Beru still came to her mind from time to time. 'I wonder what became of that boy'. Her silent question was answered eventually.
Seeing him on the news as a villain broke her heart. Leading to her crying in front of her son. Something that she didn't quite like to do.
Still, now, everything was better. As Beru was revealed to be a productive member of society. And Inko couldn't have been more pleased.
She even went to the point where she asked Izuku to invite him to their house for dinner.
She wanted to find out more about him, from him. But, even more than that, she wanted to see if the child still remembered her.
Although, Izuku was feeling quite awkward about that invitation. How exactly would he approach the Insectoid Hero? Would he even accept? Would he laugh at it?
That's just common anxiety at work.
Currently, Beru was looking for Lady Nagant. As he had no idea even where to start with her. This must've been the reason the Commission assigned him to this particular mission.
Even when they branded her as an outlaw and spread her image everywhere. She still didn't appear at all.
Actually finding her location would be a risky endeavour. And president Oyama figured that giving Beru this task would be the best way to go.
Still, she started preparing the manpower and planning for a different solution. Just in case Beru failed in finding Nagant.
Oyama was very much aware that this mission was similar to finding a needle in a haystack, she wasn't even able to find enough information to make things easy for Beru.
So, she didn't take this mission as a given success. Even with Beru's strength.
Beru already searched through the entirety of Musutafu for the duration of a day. But he didn't manage to find anyone with Lady Nagan't description and appearance.
He ended up just wasting his day flying around and staring at people through the walls of shady buildings.
By the end of it, he was banging his head on walls out of boredom. That and cursing Oyama for even considering giving him such a mission.
__________ POV Beru__________
Really, what the fuck am I supposed to do?
Lady Nagant could be anywhere in the country and beyond. It's not like they can oversee all types of transportation perfectly.
I'll stop wasting my time with this bullshit and just head back to UA.
Toga should also be waiting around in my room at this point. At least I think so, she's still a bit mad at me for not spending all of my time with her.
I think she's aware of how selfish and childish her actions are. But I also don't think she can help it all that much.
I warped myself back into my dorm. Toga was just sitting at my empty desk and twirling the knife I gave her while staring at the walls.
"Is this all you do when I'm not home?~" Yeesh, no wonder she can't seem to spend much time alone. She's not even doing anything even remotely entertaining.
"Beru! You're back!" She jumped out of the chair instantly. Like a startled racoon (I need to find better comparisons).
"Obviously~ Why are you so gloomy?~" It's pretty clear now that she's no longer mad at me in any way.
But seeing her stare at the walls with a bored/sad look in her eyes is a bit depressing.
"I dunno... I'm just bored I guess..." She put her hands behind her back and tilted her torso forwards.
"There must be more to it~ You've been like this for a while~" I mean, it's better to confront her about it.
It's clear enough that she's not exactly having much fun. Something's on her mind, something that she is probably afraid to ask about. I need to force it out of her somehow.
"I don't know... I'm-"
"C'mon Toga~ You know I'm here for you~ Why are you so hesitant all of a sudden?~" I started patting her head while speaking. A bit of coaxing should do.
"O-Ok... Beru. I want to kill someone..." She looked down as if she's ashamed or something.
"All of the people in my class, the teachers, everyone around us... No, even you... I get along with everyone so well. But I can't help it. I want to kill them, I want to take their blood and transform into them..." There it is. The old one-two.
I can at least somewhat relate to her... Well, not the blood part. But there was a point in my life where I was so obsessed with fighting that I wanted to fight and kill everyone around me.
Friends, foes, family, no one was out of my range. In the end, I grew out of it. I stopped taking much pleasure in fights in general.
It became boring, the danger is only appetising for people that have only lived a peaceful life. For me, it was a day to day occurrence.
At least until I came to this world, and I had to go through all of that again.
It passed much quicker this time though. I stopped caring much after finding out that All Might is quite literally the strongest man alive. I reached the same point that I was at in my previous life.
Maybe my experience can help her somewhat.
"That's natural...~" She immediately snapped her head up and looked me in the eyes. Her large eyes widening a bit as she did so.
"So~ That's the way you are~ You can't help it now~ But you won't be like that forever~ I was once in a similar situation~" She looked at me with the same wide eyes, she's completely concentrating on my words.
"H-How... You seem just fine..." She said in a hushed voice, her eyes narrowing a bit, seemingly in disbelief and suspicion.
Does she really think I am perfect or something? Why would I bother lying to her about something like this?
"To fight and kill~ The desire to fight and kill everyone I met~ It was an animalistic wish, stemmed from my in-born talents as a fighter~" Her eyes widened once more. This time, in understanding.
"S-So... What changed? What made you change your view? You don't seem to be holding back as I do... You don't seem bothered at all..." She once again stared at her feet. Maybe in shame, maybe in confusion.
"What's the point of fighting and killing?~ It's all the same.~ The same motions~ The same screams~ The same anguished faces~ The same taste left in my mouth~" I said as I walked around Toga and sat on the bed.
"Everything is the same~ So what's the point?~ Why am I wasting my time like this?~" She turned her head and looked me in the eyes once more.
"These are the thoughts that made me realise who I truly am~ Toga~ You are a sweet girl~ Kind~ A bit obsessive~ A bit impulsive~" She turned a bit red at my description of her.
"But ask yourself this~ 'How will this person's blood taste any different from the last?', 'How will this kill be more exciting than the last?'~ Maybe that might help you see things from my perspective~"
She finally sat back down on her chair. I think she might need some time to ponder on my words.
I don't expect her to change for now... No, it takes a long time to get out of that mindset.
"I-I think I want to kill someone... Right now..." She looked down in shame again. Then she raised her head at me, pleadingly. There was also quite a bit of fear in her features.
Does she think she's disappointing to me or something? I am no saint. I no longer consider killing to be the best thing since sliced bread, but I still do it without hesitation if the need arises.
"Sure~ I know just the place~," I said as I slowly stood up.
I could see her eyes shine when hearing my response. I guess she was expecting me to say some stupid stuff about abstaining and moderation.
But that's not really in line with what I did. I would've actually recommended that we go and hunt down a few people sooner or later.
I mean, I did pretty much kill people until I became numb to it. I didn't really want things to go the same with her. But I know that holding back is a lot more harmful.
It's better this way.
"S-Seriously? Are you sure? You're supposed to be a hero now..." She also got up and grabbed her knife.
"Oh~ We're doing hero stuff~ Just anonymous and with a few fatalities~ It's fine~," I said while waving my hand.
I made a portal for the two of us. She smiled and grabbed my hand. We walked into the portal, the smile on her face was one of relief and excitement.
We stepped into the portal, the wind going through Toga's hair as we appeared on top of an apartment building in one of the shadier parts of Musutafu.
I did thoroughly look through this city... So I obviously know all of the villain hideouts.
I'll just drop Toga off at one of them. Let Toga get her fill. Until the glass overflows and it reveals how little any of this matters.
I don't need to help, I don't need to do anything. I'll watch over her, with a look of acceptance and a heart full of melancholy.
Of all people, why did I get attached to someone so closely resembling me... I guess opposites don't always attract the most...
____________________________________________
Eyy, character development, that's rare.
Anyway, figured giving more perspective into the mc's personality would be good.
There are still quite a few things left to find out about him though.(like why tf didn't he consider anyone his friends and what not) So you can somewhat look forward to that.
If u want to support me look up VeganMaster on Patr_eon.
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