Bab 3: Chapter 2
Nothing really matters in the world, but we have to keep going until a miracle happens for us.
I never took in my surroundings when I was walking home from the store the other day. The neighborhood changed a lot since I've been outside.
Abandoned houses that looked like no one really lived there anymore. Old busted cars that just sit in the streets as decoration and dogs that just wander around the street, searching for food since their owners abandoned them.
People just lost their minds towards the point where they give up their children just so they can save their own life. I don't understand how that's even an option that knowing they would give up their kids to a bunch of Gang Members.
At least my parents have a heart well a half heart since my Dad would let his anger out by hitting us.
I wish I could understand why he does it but what Papa calls it is showing that he cares about us since if he didn't he would have left us.
"Hayden, you need to focus on your work." Papa snaps me out of my thoughts.
I'm supposed to be in college right now but that's out of the window of me being something in life. That didn't stop him from giving us an education. He has all these stuff he was going to use when he becomes a teacher but it's a waste now.
I paid my attention back to my work but then heard a phone ring. Before I could get it Dad came into the living room to answer it. He had a stern expression on his face as he walked out of the living room as if he didn't want us listening to his phone call.
Papa's face softens when he realizes the same thing. I don't know why he keeps doing that since no one barely contacts us unless it's the government informing us. We don't talk to our family members anymore, hell they are probably dead.
Dad came back into the room with his leather jacket in his hand. Papa jumps up from his seat to walk over to him.
"Where are you going?" He inquires of him from the sudden of him rushing out of the house.
"Out?" He responds to a question, and Papa hates it when Dad responds to his question to a question.
"Out where Caleb? You just get up and leave without informing anyone where you are going!" That it is true because he always leaves randomly without briefing us where he is going.
Dad noses flares as he looks sternly at Papa with a death glare. I slowly got up from my seat just in case he was going to hit him. "It's none of your damn business where I go Tristian. Why do I have to tell you where I'm going? You don't trust me?"
"Yes, I trust you, why would I? It's just that I'm worried that you are going out without telling me where you are going. What if something happens to you without me knowing where you are going!" Papa cries with an unsteady voice.
"Tristian stop being so fucking dramatic, I'll be back. Your acting like I'm going out to allegedly cheat on you." Dad scowls as he snatches his arm out of Papa's gripped.
At that, he departs from the house with a door slam. I could scarcely hear Papa's whimpers escape his lips. I hate seeing him like this. All he does is care for that man, and this is what he gets treated.
I walk over to Papa, winding my arms around his body. He leans over where he cries silently against me.
Placing my head on the pillows, I look up at the ceiling at my glow in the dark stickers that faded a little bit. I remember when I first got them. When it was light outside, I would make it dark in my room so I could see my room glow up.
Now every day it's like an overcast and gloomy day where it's incessantly raining or cloudy.
There was a knock on my door having me look towards the door. I told the person to come in, and Papa came into my room with a sad smile on his face. His eyes were still swollen from earlier.
"Just wanted to tuck you into bed." He walks over to my bed, carefully sitting down next me.
"Papa I'm 20 years old." I rolled my eyes but then smiled at him.
"I know but you're so small for your age and you don't even look like you're 20. I still look at you as my little baby boy." Papa clutches my head towards his sunken chest.
I always get that a lot that I'm so small for my age, and people mistook me as a different age growing up.
"Don't worry I was like that growing up. I guess you got my genes." That did make sense of why we were the same height, but he's an inch taller than me. Although my Dad is a giant where he is 6ft tall.
It was quiet in the room while we heard gunshots being fired in the distance.
I desperately wanted to ask Papa a question but I didn't want him to think that I was judging him. "Papa, why do you let Dad treat you like that?" I sat up in my bed, so I was looking at him.
Papa was staring fiercely at something instead of looking at me.
I could tell he was thinking really hard about the unanswered question. "I don't know it's just that I'm scared of him leaving me towards the point I have to raise you and Hailey on my own." He looks at me with a dull glint of overwhelming sadness in his eyes.
He doesn't need Dad to make him feel safe. He has me, and that's all he needs. "Papa you don't need Dad to make you feel safe. I know I'm not big and strong like Dad but I can protect you and Hailey. The brutal way he treats you isn't something he shouldn't be doing."
"Look, Hayden, I know you are trying to look out for me but your Dad is all we have under protection. I don't want anything happening to you or your sister. It's the road I'm taking where nothing matters in the world than to protect my children." He told me, now looking me in the eyes.
In those eyes, I could tell he was frightened of letting Dad go because he's all we have left with protection. He wanted to leave, but he couldn't for the sake of his children.
His most terrible fear is to be alone.
"Goodnight Hayden." He grazes my forehead then got up from the bed, turns off my lamp and walks out of my room. I was left in the dark with a lot of thoughts in my mind.
I anxiously watched my Dad as he was looking down at the newspaper with an intense glare. It was like he had so much hate for the world.
"These sons of bitches need to all rot in hell." He mumbles incoherently as he folds the newspaper.
He looked at me, and I jumped from him now staring at me. I look down at my lap, not wanting to make any eye contact with him.
"You know you look like a bitch when you are scared by your own Dad." I heard him say, and I looked up to meet his eyes.
"What?" I asked, and he was smuggling at me with a toothpick between his lips.
"Hayden, you need to man the fuck up and stop acting like a fucking bitch. These people are going to take advantage of you if you keep acting like you are worthless. We are almost on the edge of the world ending and you need to be ready when they bust a cap in your ass." He snarls at me.
Digging my nails in my hands causes me to bleed, I try to restrain my temper in a minimum but fail tremendously.
"Why so I could be like you who beat the living shit out of their own husband and their kids because you are not man enough to even handle your anger?"
In an instant, I suffered a violent hit towards my jaw where I fell out of my chair. I kept feeling his hard hits towards my face. My bloody mary screams caused Papa to run in the room in a flash.
"Caleb get off of him you're hurting him!" He cries as he forces him off of me. My vision was going hazy by the way Papa was calling my name.
A strike of pain shoots through my wounded head and I clutch my head while whimpering. His voice faded, and all I could see was darkness.
I felt something cold and wet on my left eye. I slowly open my eyes to meet Papa and Hailey looking down on me with worried eyes.
"Hayden baby are you okay?" Papa interrogates me on the edge of crying by the way his eyes started to water.
"Yes, just my head hurt a little bit." I responded with a hoarse voice by my patch throat.
Papa notices my voice then turns towards Hailey. "Hailey go get your brother some water." He informed her and she nodded, running out the room quickly.
Papa starts to caress my cheek with gentle strokes. Once again he's beating himself up about Dad putting his hands on me again. "Papa it's not your fault. I shouldn't have talked back to him knowing how he was going to react aggressively to it."
"What did you do to make him mad?" Papa inquired me while dampening my forehead with the moist cloth.
"He told me that I was acting a bitch by the way I always act, and people are going to take advantage of me because I'm worthless. That caused me to remark something that made him mad." I briefed him and he was quiet while taking in what I said.
"Hayden, you are a special boy that deserves so much more than to stay here and suffer. I want you to go out into the world and experience it as I did." He captures my hand into his.
"If you do make it out of this country, promise me that you won't let anyone take advantage of you like your Dad is doing to me." I don't know how I was going to make it out of here, but he seems serious at the moment.
"I promise."
Hadiah
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