"What did we learn today?" - I drank a can of beer while looking out a window.
"That you have the potential to be a horror movie monster" - Tsubaki sighed.
"Hey Listen! That you are a crying girl! " - Navi shouted happily.
"Whatever" - I was stupid for hoping that Navi's nonexistent brain could reflect on his actions.
Outside the window it was night, we were in a border city that was normally quiet but now it has become noisy chaos because some mental patient massacred the two most important criminal syndicates in the city.
That mental patient was me.
The negotiations went wrong, the meeting point was a trap set up to lure me in and kill me in a hail of bullets. It was such an obvious trap that I didn't even bother to enter the warehouse where I agreed to meet the leader of the criminal group and went straight to hunt down the snipers.
After opening their skulls and using black blood needles to manipulate their brains, I had them give me the locations of the criminal groups' bases of operations.
Since I was still angry about Shizuka's damn song, I got carried away and beheaded every jerk who dared to point a gun at me.
There were a couple of criminals who knew martial arts, but they were only at the Master level specializing in the use of firearms similar to Kenichi's sexually impotent father, deadly marksmanship, but fragile bodies.
Since only armor-piercing bullets for military use can harm me, I easily ripped their spines off with my bare hands and stuck their heads on stakes in front of the police station with a note that read, 'I did your job, you're welcome'.
The surviving criminals swore allegiance to me out of fear, to cover up the situation they circulated the rumor that it was all a gang war which managed to avoid drawing Yami's attention.
All this happened from afternoon to night, currently, it is one in the morning and everything is still in chaos, but it is not my problem, if some idiot tries to take advantage of the situation to take control of criminal groups he will have his head on a stake.
"Was it necessary to do a horror show?" - Tsubaki pouted angrily that made her look adorable.
"Yes" - I nodded as patted her on the head. - "Of all the languages developed by humanity, idiots only understand violence, with this there will be a precedent for what happens when they do not behave well, which will make it easier to control them and turn them into a force that can improve the world"
"But if you only use fear then they will not change, they will only be obedient for fear of dying and not because they have really reconsidered" - Tsubaki continued pouting.
"It is the stick and the carrot, if they behave well I will give them a good life, if they behave badly there is a stake" - I shrugged.
"I fear for the education of our children" - Tsubaki sighed.
I froze.
Our?
"..." - Tsubaki stared at me while her face was getting redder and redder until it was comparable to a tomato.
In a very mature and professional way, Tsubaki ran out of the room without daring to look at me.
"And she says I'm the child" - I smiled wryly.
"You are childish! A lolimancer must be childish! " - Navi scoffed at my side.
"..." - I hit Navi, unfortunately, the idiot seems to enjoy it.
"Muahahaha, you can't kill me! I'm like a cockroach, I don't die, it multiplied me! " - Navi started flying around my head.
"Someday I will find a way to hurt you without you enjoying it" - I opened another beer, because of my Ogre Body it is more difficult for me to get drunk.
I paid a great price for power and I'm not sure if it was worth it ...
"Muahahahaha, I want to see you try it!" - Navi opened a can of beer on his own and drank it despite not having hands or mouth, I still wonder how his body works.
"By the way, did you discover anything new about the system?" - Taking advantage of the fact that Tsubaki was not here, I decided to talk to Navi about something problematic.
Although we have discussed important topics through telepathic messages, having a normal chat from time to time is not so bad.
"Yes!" - Navi yelled happily like the idiot that he was. - "There is a list of worlds in a special order that the system will force you to visit! I'm not sure of the danger level as I think I screwed up the danger scale, but if my guess is true the list of worlds is designed to make you stronger as you become more and more dependent on the system to make you their bitch!"
"... Can you stop screwing up the system?" - I sighed wearily.
"If I don't screw the system, the system will screw you metaphorically and literally! You say thank you, ungrateful bitch!" - Navi was still happy without a trace of anger, the idiot just likes to insult.
I thought about it for a moment, Navi is an unbearable jerk that I want to put in a wood chipper and then burn his remains with a flamethrower to finally bury his ashes in a concrete block and throw him into the sea, but I can't deny that without his help I'd be in big trouble for the curse on my soul.
Maybe I should treat him better ... No, he's an idiot, but a thank you is free so it doesn't matter
"Thanks for your help" - I did not sound sincere since acting with this idiot is a waste of time, his nutty brain does not understand gratitude.
"..." - Navi was silent drinking his beer and then disappeared.
I seemed to hear a subtle 'you're welcome'.
And this moment of personal growth out of nowhere?
Whatever, I have work to do, a mob doesn't build itself, and I have a lot of criminal brains that need a lobotomy.
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(Navi perspective)
Fuck fuck you son of a bitch fuck you son of a bitch!
Making me act like an embarrassed bitch!
You are the fucking tsundere! Not me!
You fucking bastard I'm going to screw you until your hair falls out in frustration!
"What's happening? Woof "- My doggy friend tilted his head, confused.
We are inside the Core of Existence of that bastard son of a bitch, if it weren't for my attack damage being 0 then I would start kicking his fucking mind to make his fucking migraine worse.
"Nothing! Nothing happens!" - I tried to speak as usual but my anger was obvious.
Fucking bastard!
I'm not one of your fucking women to make me act embarrassed! I don't even have gender!
"..." - My dog friend just looked at me confused and then began to smile taking his real form.
.
Y̸̼̲̝̏́̏͆o̶͇̫͊̀͆̇͘̕͘͝ũ̵̡͈̹͍͚̺͔̾ ̴̧̺̻͚̜͈̟̼̲͆̚a̵̫̩͓̭̓̂͂r̷̜̀͗̉͛̔̕͝ẹ̵̦͓̳̑̽̑̊̒ ̵̨̟̥̦̐̓́̿͝ē̶̖͈͊̑̉͛̿͂̕͠͝m̶̡̢̲̭̻̞̻̝̅͌̀ḇ̴̜̘̝̘̯͕̰̌̾̽͘͝͝a̷̦̍r̵̻̘̤̐͑̔̓̇̈́̊̿̊̕ṛ̶̥͎̩̬̺̾̄̒͛̓̈́̋͊͑a̷̢̳͎͔̟̔̄͌͝s̸̡̪͋̓͋͋̔̑͛͘͝͠s̷̛͓͓̝̗͔͍͕̖͔̋͂͗͗́͘̚ẽ̷̏̚͜͝d̵̝͇̰̗̩̱́̈́̒́̾͂͛͝?̷̧̧͈̰̭͔̞͇͆̆̌͂͑̐̓̚
.
"Don't come with your shitty voice! I am immune to that mental attack! " - I screamed furiously.
The voice of my dog friend in his real form has the effect of damaging the sanity of the listener so he has fun using subliminal messages in his voice.
My partner's son of a bitch told the dog not to use that ability unless he allows it or the number of psychopaths around him will grow out of control.
"I'll take it as a yes" - My dog friend's smile grew.
"Yes, ha ha, laugh all you want! At least I have a name! " - I yelled angrily.
"..." - The dog stopped smiling, his eyes lost their brightness, turning into two abysses. - "Don't mention it, it's painful"
"I'll say what I damn well want!" - Your serial killer look doesn't scare me! Nothing can kill me even if I want to!
"... One day I will have a name ..." - The dog returned to its miniature form and lay down on the ground covered with blue and purple flames. - "I can feel it, it won't be long before I get a name"
"I'll call you Pochi!" - I scoffed.
"I don't want to be Pochi" - The dog looked at me angrily.
"Pochi Pochi Pochi you will be Pochi!" - I started to fly around him.
"..." - The dog closed his eyes and ignored me.
"Heh, you are weak Pochi, you lack hatred" - Nobody can against the omnipotent Navi!
"Whatever you say tsundere, woof" - Pochi is a very clever son of a bitch, bastard.
I decided to stop arguing with Pochi since he is a bad loser, obviously I won the argument so continuing will only tarnish my noble victory.
What a good winner I am, I deserve a medal.
Now, what should I do to annoy my partner's son of a bitch...?
I have an idea!
"Muahahahahahahaha!" - I started laughing.
"... This is going to end badly, woof" - Pochi shook his head and went back to sleep.
First, I need a camera that takes snapshots, second, a sheet of paper and a pen.
Hehehehe I AM A GENIUS!
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Author's comment:
This chapter is a bit shorter because I want to announce something.
I finally opened a Pa tre on!
You can search me as:
ww w. patr eon . com / Bukaro
There are other content creators that have names similar to Bukaro so to avoid confusion I use the same profile picture as in WebNovel.
My Ko-fi will remain open for donations of one dollar in case you like my work and want to support it.
Without further ado, I hope to earn some money to eat ~
A hug <3