Bab 89: I want him but I can't

My life is a big time loop. I keep going around in circles. I am back to where I begin, three years ago. But what is different this time around I am not alone.

I could feel the pressure of Brad's fingers intertwined with mine compelling me to pin my eyes on him, drinking in the whole of him.

That obscure ardor riveting look in his night eyes makes me want to change my mind and tell him right here and now I forgive him, and we should get back together.

The words refuse to escape from my lips. They are caged and harbored by my reluctance to forgive him.

I was kidding myself with the pretense of being a cold bitch, and also with the bizarre thought that nothing can ever fickle me enough to hurt me. But I am still very much afraid of being hurt.

If I forgive Brad that means I trust him not to hurt me again.