Bab 133: Forgiveness and suffering
Juniper opened his eyes slowly, almost with an underlying fatigue.
The sunset light of the day entered the man's still half-closed eyes with speed and precision, struck by their warmth and in a certain sense filled with an annoying humidity.
He turned his pale face to his right, let it fall back on the pillow of his bed, watching in his awakening the blurred images of the world around him.
The baron saw a large plate of smooth, cold metal plate resting on the surface of the woody and precious window sill beside his bed.
He felt the harsh and ferrous smell of blood in his nostrils.
Juniper glanced at that particular metal plate, noticed on it a scalpel soiled with the red and dry blood.
There was a pair of pliers, also wet and dirty, and a bullet mostly covered with blood and about 3 cm long.
The baron closed his big sea-blue eyes for a few seconds.
After the operation he had slept so deeply that he almost fell into a sort of temporary coma.
He had lost a lot of blood, yes, he could see it from the tools used on his body that were at that moment dirty with that red liquid now dried up by the hours.
Juniper placed one of his hands on his side, wanted to try if he could still feel the hole the bullet had made in his flesh.
He felt the fingers on his smooth skin, he could feel nothing more than a bandage covering his leg.
As soon as his fingers were placed in that part of his body a strong pain began to rise from that point to the rest of the affected area.
He remembered having been operated in a hurry by one of the doctors employed and loyal to his House, he remembered that his mouth had to be covered with a handkerchief so that somehow the pain stayed inside of him, his desperate screams.
Obviously the pain felt was immense, it was enough to believe that without any substance to calm the pain the doctor had to cut a wound in his flesh, insert the forceps inside it in order to extract the bullet.
Then he had had to seam, a half hour of great pain had passed to feel how that man inserted and removed the needle from his skin in order not to infect the affected area.
Anyway by that time it was all over, the blood had stopped oozing from his body and all that remained of that evening was a wound carefully stitched together.
-You are awakened- a voice resumed the baron from thinking, attracting his attention towards the origin of that noise -thank goodness, for a few moments I thought I had killed you-.
Juniper's eyes opened a second time, they were turned to him at that moment.
They looked at his wavy brown hair, his pale face, his nose red from the cool of that afternoon.
The cold eyes of his friend scrutinise him from afar, from a chair beyond the room.
Michael Hayes sat there looking kind of careless but genuinely worried and the baron knew perfectly well that that concern was mainly directed towards him.
He knew Michael was very worried about his condition and feared the anger of his tempted victim, who unfortunately was the last member of the House to which the Hayes had sworn allegiance.
Juniper smiled faintly from the bed, plunged his head into the pillow, let his numerous curly hair of a bright blond colour adorn his face, caress it.
-Michael, you have the same name as an angel but deep in your heart you are a demon, I've always known that...- the man admitted smiling sarcastically.
The other smiled in turn, this time with a more confident and arrogant look.
-I suppose that even being a demon could have its charm...in any case you are right, the name of an angel is not good enough for me...- Michael admitted from the chair placing his legs on top of each other, crossing them, waiting for the other to answer, perhaps to console him.
He himself smelled the smell of blood entering his nostrils, not that it didn't bother him but as a rebellious lord and certainly the middle child of four siblings, most of them female, the smell of blood had in a certain sense always encountered him.
Michael turned his face towards the closed wooden door, left that way to give the injured man some peace and rest, leaving him time to recover before returning to his monotonous life of commitments and chores to attend to.
Michael bit the lower part of his lip lightly, it was thin, dry and mostly covered with spots of dry skin that as soon as they touch his teeth came off without any effort.
-You know, the moment the bullet met your body I never felt a sense of sorrow and cowardice in my heart...- the guest finally admitted taking out of the pocket of his precious jacket a small brown object from the fragrant aftertaste of tobacco and grass.
Michael placed that object between his dry lips, squeezed it between his teeth, lit the outer end of it with the help of a match which he then went out with the help of a fine handkerchief.
Juniper was still lying in bed while his friend had started to smoke, he was lying with his head pressed against the pillow, he could not see the guest directly in the eyes but the light grey smoke that came from that point let him understand the action.
Could they still call themselves friends after all that had happened? After he fired, after he risked his life for the third time directly before the war? One of the most important event in his life.
-I know well that your actions do not come directly from your heart, I know well that you are not as untouchable and selfish as you want to show, I know you well... -admitted the baron trying to position his back in a comfortable pose against the heavy headboard of his bed.
Juniper saw a dark shadow of discomfort rise to the eyes of the other, obscure his face for a few seconds.
He noticed how anxiously he bit into the inside of his cigar, almost as if internally gripped by sadness and panic that he himself was trying to hide.
Michael seemed quite tired, he supposed that that night he had not slept a wink after assisting the operation, after having believed for a few hours that he had really killed the man.
-Do not have false illusions, I do not like the idea of having to help you at all but on the other hand everyone has their own duties to be carried out even reluctantly and apparently the destiny wanted you to be my commitment...- Michael admitted removing the cigar from his thin lips for a few seconds, thus letting out a cloud of odorous and greyish smoke.
Juniper smiled for a few moments, looked away from his companion, he actually understood from the harsh way he spoke that something was wrong in his life, something that he himself tried to omit and forget and that in fact made him suffer a lot.
-Michael...- came out like a faint sigh from the thin lips of the baron -...you are almost thirty years old and already spoiling your life by smoking like this...-.
The guest smiled for a few seconds, both of his lips began to tremble and the baron himself was not aware if this reaction was due to the panic, sadness or cold of that morning.
He removed the cigar from his lips for a few seconds, again let out a cloud of grey smoke which in some sense let the man's perfect and candid teeth show for a few moments.
-With all due respect, you are the same age as me and are about to leave for the war so I could ask you the same question, Juniper...- the guest replies, putting the thin, fuzzy brown cartridge in his mouth again, squeezing between his teeth.
Juniper briefly turned his gaze away from the other, placed it on the floor made of white and clean marble, which at times had greyish-brown spots on it due to the stone.
Michael was partially right, he was about to go to war and nothing guaranteed he would survive, if only he died without having generated an heir and with an adopted son on the other side of the sea, his dynasty would have died without any successor.
In any case, Juniper had to remain positive in such a situation, it was not definitively certain that he would die during that event, many of before him, many of his ancestors had fought wars and returned victorious.
-Do you really imagine I haven't noticed the way you talk to me? I am sure in your heart there is something deeper, some problem which may be related to your family...- Juniper admitted with a sure look of courage and superiority against the insinuations of the other.
He noticed how Michael stopped his movements for a few moments, the end of the cigar resting on the upper end of his lips, pressed against it.
He squeezed both fingers around the object, squeezed it so nearly that part of the tobacco that filled it fell out of the small cuts that its teeth had created on it.
-You do not know anything about me, Juniper!- the man protested keeping both his eyes blank, looking at an undefined point on the floor below him.
-What do you think you know about me?! At least I have a family! I have a father, some siblings. You have nothing! Where are your parents?! Your wife hasn't slept with you in years maybe! Your son can't stand you! Yet you speak with this superior unbearable arrogance!-.
A brief silence went up inside the room, no one dared to speak, not after those words of hatred that had been spoken, not after such an offence, now those words that in anger had slipped out of the man's lips were no longer to be withdrawn .
Michael placed two of his fingers next to his eyebrows, massaged his forehead for a few seconds, realised the gravity of his sentences but as he well thought it was too late to withdraw them back.
He lowered his gaze to the floor, exhaled in a moment, opened his lips again but this time not out of offence or anything.
-I am really sorry, forget everything I said, please...- asked the man seeking forgiveness from the host who in search of answers had first dared to not mind his own business.
As he might well have thought, it would not have been easy to receive forgiveness after all the words spoken in anger and hatred.
-Well, then I am really grateful that your sex life is so much better...- admitted Juniper crossing both his hands under his bare chest, pressing them against it -I want to wait for her...-.
Michael covered his lips for a few seconds with the palms of his hands, he had really caused a mess and from such a big statement he could only extract himself, finally revealing the truth.
-Juniper...listen...I did not...I can't understand what it means to sleep with someone, ok? I'm asexual, I am not able to sleep with somebody and I'm sorry to have insulted you, I'm sure your wife still loves you incredibly and your son does the same- admitted the guest blushing on his pale cheeks.
Juniper watched the man cover his eyes with the cold palms of his hands, he had completely understood in that one moment what it was that made him so nervous, what made his attitude so aggressive and stressed.
-Have you been promised to a woman and do not feel the need sleep with her, right? You feel pressure...your father doesn't know it, your siblings don't either, you feel alone and misunderstood, you are afraid of never being able to feel love, right?- asked the baron observing how the other slightly nodded at him.
Michael felt the brown hair fall on his sweaty forehead, sticking to it, he was nervous, his friend was the only person he had revealed this to, he closed his eyes weakly, waited for an answer, a sign from him.
-Do not dare to think it's this way, Michael, don't even dare to think you're strange, it's perfectly fine, I'm sure your father would understand too...- the words of comfort slipped from Juniper's pale lips formed into a faint smile full of comfort.
-Michael, my friend, I will always love you no matter what you do or say to offend me, the past cannot be erased and I cannot forget the fact that we grew up together like brothers-.
Michael smiled briefly, he felt in some sense relieved but in some other sense he felt that it was not right to bind a friendship with Juniper, not after all those years and not after what he had done to him.
That baron who was now wounded lying in bed had broken his heart as a young boy, he had deluded him, let him hope one day he would return, he had let the hope of a letter from his friend which never arrived be born again in his heart.
They had given their last goodbye at the age of ten and right now, almost twenty years later they had met again and just at that moment, on the verge of a war where their Houses were lined up on opposite sides...
Lord Whiteblossom still required his friendship, and was stubborn, no matter how cold he might be with him or how badly he could treat him, for Juniper, Michael was still the same boy he had spent his childhood with until his ten years.
-Pfftt...idiot- the man admitted, returning with this last statement to gently place the cigar between his dry lips -I could not and would never want to be your friend, but I thank you for what you do for me...-.
Just when that last sentence came out of the man's mouth, half ajar by the presence of the cigar, it was then that something unexpected happened.
-Father?- a voice echoed against the walls of the room, it was the voice of a boy in his fifteen years.
Michael raised his face slightly, on the threshold of the door there was a boy, with a beautiful appearance he had to admit.
He could see his wavy auburn hair, the large grey eyes and all of this seemed unimaginably known, although never in his life had he met this young lord.
But he saw in a moment the amazement the change in Juniper's blue eyes, wet and then fill with tears.
-Rudolph...my son...-.
Status Power Mingguan
-- Peringkat
Power 
-- Power
stone