Bab 40: Chapter 40
Pearl slammed her purse down onto the counter. She was furious. What did she do to him to make him treat her this way? He was being such a dick. She was so happy about the bond that was growing between them. He was in her mind constantly, even when she was with Rhys and David. The journal he gave her. What he said. Why was he purposely screwing with her head? She was hurt. He knew her past. She told him the truth about all of it. Even about Rhys and David. This was so unfair.
She poured a glass of wine and sat in her chair. She thought about Rhys. He was perfect. He was literally Prince Charming. She still wasn't able to believe he was real and he barely knew her. It was too much, too fast. It had been two weeks. TWO WEEKS and he was having her help him pick out a house. No way. Not real. And David. She cared about him so much, but was torn on his disingenuous nature and the drama in his life. She knew him the longest of the 3, but his relationship with her felt the most unstable. He could really hurt her if he wanted to. But Dylan was her friend. He had a stand-offish nature but she believed him to be genuine. Real. And she believed him when he said he loved her. She was realizing why this hurt so much. Dylan meant the most to her, his presence in her life was important, whether it was in a friendship capacity or more. It didn't matter. She loved having him in her life. And his behaving like that tonight hurt.
She fell asleep on the couch. She woke up to a knock at the door. Was it Rhys? She looked though he peephole and saw Dylan standing there. She started to feel the anger growing inside of her again and she debated ignoring him. He knocked again and she opened the door. "What do you want?" She asked but didn't invite him in. "I was hoping you would allow me to speak to you."
He said, his voice breaking in and out. His eyes were red, she wondered if he had been crying. "It's one in the morning. Can it wait?" Pearl asked, making sure he knew she was still shitty. "No. May I come in? I'm sorry to just show up like this. If you are busy, I can go".
"I'm not busy, I was asleep. Come in." Pearl said. She was giving him 10 minutes then she was kicking him out. She followed him into her living room. His hair fell into his face and he tucked it behind his ear. He paced a little and started "I'm sorry. I'm sorry about yesterday and I'm sorry about tonight. I wanted to tell you to your face that I'm sorry. I'm not good with this. These feelings. I know it seems like I'm an immature dick and maybe I am. I don't have a lot of experience with women. I know that's not an excuse, and it's not women in general, Pearl. It's you. You are all the things I've ever imagined someone worth loving would be. You are strong. You are so strong...." he was tearing up, she could hear the emotion in his cracking voice."....and you are intelligent. Empathetic and altruistic. You aren't afraid of anything. You almost always say what you mean and mean what you say. The way you carry yourself and my attraction to you is beyond any kind of rationalization I can make. Believe me, I've tried. I acted that way because I was jealous, am jealous. He's a goddamn movie star, Pearl? And your boss, David. Millionaire? Billionaire? They both seem to genuinely care for you. I don't know. I mean, can you imagine? This is how it works for me? I save myself for a woman like you. I fall in love for the very first time in my life and these are the competitors? These are my odds? I'm not saying I'm right. I know how I reacted was wrong. But damn, Pearl. What are the chances? You know? You know what I'm saying?" And he wiped his eyes. He looked beautiful, broken. Standing in her living room, laying his wounds wide open for her to see. It was so beautiful and so sad. Her heart hurt. He was right. He called her empathetic but she was too blind to see what was really going on. He walked to her and kissed her. It was passionate. Intense. His eyes shut tightly and his mouth desperately trying to express his love. His hurt. His want. He moved her toward the wall and she realized what he asking for. She stopped him. "Dylan, we have to stop. I can't do this. I can't do this to you. I don't want this to go any further. I can't take something this sacred from you, not knowing what the future holds. I'll never forgive myself and you'll resent me if we don't...work out" she said.
"I don't care Pearl. I don't need you to make me any promises. I want this with you. I want it to be you. It's was always supposed to be you. I expect nothing more than tonight. I will always be your friend, no matter what happens. I realize I handled it wrong and I won't do that again." He looked at her. His eyes begging her to see him. "You don't know how much this changes things, Dylan. You won't be the same. We won't be the same."
"I don't fucking care." And he moved to her and kissed her again. He kissed her and put his hands behind her head, moving her face and kiss to him.
He moved her backward into her bedroom. And laid her in the bed. "Dylan, we...." and he stopped her with his mouth on hers. She knew she wouldn't talk him out of this. She could push him off her and tell him no, but part of her wanted it to. They shared an undeniable bond and this would be something they would always have. And she didn't want to reject him and make him feel more animosity towards sex. Towards women. She knew what it was to feel unwanted.
She lifted her shirt over her head and let him see her. She unhooked her bra and took her pants off. He laid next to her, on his side, watching. She pulled her panties down and off. "Touch me, Dylan." She whispered. He traced his fingertips from her mouth down the center of her body. Watching him explore her was erotic and new. The thought of her being the first woman he would take turned her on more than she ever imagined. He moved past her belly button and in between her legs. He ran his finger along her clit and slowly entered her. She arched her back, moaning. The intensity in his eyes. The way his hands moved. He was making love to her. This was how poets made love, she thought. He stood up and took his clothes off. It was deliberate and steady. She sat up and watched him. He leaned into her and laid her down gently, kissing her. "I've wanted you like this, all this time. I've dreamed you." He kissed her softly, moving her hair from her face and putting his hand on her cheek. "Don't expect me to be sane anymore. Don't let's be sensible...." he said tracing her body again. "I say this is a wild dream—"he was quoting Henry Miller's letter to Anais Nin. Pearl recognized it. She loved Anais Nin and this was....amazing.
".... The insatiable delight of experience...."
Pearl moaned "Henry Miller" she said. This seemed to turn him on more. "I knew you'd know that. Tonight I feel that love. That want. Like them. It's beautiful Pearl. This is exactly as I imagined it."
"Me too" she said. He kissed her again and moved down her body with his mouth. Taking his time. Exploring every inch. It was so erotic. Words and poetry with carnal want. She came almost as soon as his mouth hit her clit and his tongue was inside. "Dylan..." she moaned. He didn't stop. He tasted every last bit of her orgasm. He moved slowly up and over her. "I can grab a condom if I need to."
"I'm on the pill and it's up to you, Dylan." He continued and looked her in the eyes, he kissed her and said "I want to feel you." And he slowly entered her. He felt amazing. The connection was already intense but feeling him inside of her was more than she had anticipated. She came again, almost as soon as he entered her. He could feel it and said "I can feel you around me. I feel what I've brought out of you. I've never felt more like a man in my life." And he thrust into her again. She could barely breathe. He continued and she felt her climax building again. He kissed her and held her face while he moved in and out of her. He was so gentle. Trembling and smiling as he looked at her. He quickened the pace. "I love you. I've searched lifetimes for you. For this moment. This is everything. You are everything." And he moved faster. The heat moving throughout her body felt like fire. She was beginning to cum again when she could feel he was close too. "Cum, Dylan. I'm so close. Cum with me." He moaned and cried out her name. Then she felt her climax wash over her as he erupted inside of her. He was shaking. Trembling everywhere. He laid on top of her, caressing her face and looking into her eyes. She held him. "I don't think anything I could say now would properly explain what I am feeling. Listening to your heartbeat and your breathing is all the poetry I'll ever need. I'm memorizing it as I'm saying these words" he said. They fell asleep like that. Tangled limbs and his body wrapped over hers.
Status Power Mingguan
-- Peringkat
Power 
-- Power
stone