Bab 44: Chapter 44: Alone In The World
* Phina *
* Gone, he was really gone leaving me alone in this cave left to myself. Why did he do that? Right after saving my life. I thought he had come to help me. And what was that face? It had nothing to do with the angry looks he was giving me, it was much more like ... Pity? Have pity on me? How does he dare*?
-Phina ... The monster here is you.
* His words kept coming back to me as I burst into tears. That night I slept on the ground itself, a cold and icy ground. My only blanket was my fur coat, but even that wasn't enough. I got up to go out and collect some branches and leaves, but a thunderstorm broke forcing me to stay in the cave. I got scared and locked myself in my blanket, bursting into tears *.
-Dumbass ... Why did he leave alone? I hope he will catch a cold from this rain.
* Here I am reduced to wishing the presence of this boor. I end up falling asleep hoping it was wrong. May all of this be just a dream. Also when I wake up *.
-Corrine. Bring me my meal.
* Dead silence greeted me instead *.
-You are deaf I said ....
* And that's where I tilted. It was not a dream I was really alone at the bottom of this cold cave. It was there that I remembered what he had said yesterday before leaving me *.
-Tomorrow when you wake up there will be neither Corrine to serve you, nor cook to cook you nor servants to support your whims.
* I got up and walked out of the cave. There was not a cat. No human for miles apart from the stinking corpses of the bandits he had brutally killed in front of my eyes. I was still quite upset *.
- You will be alone. All alone. But you want to know the funniest part?
*He was right. I was all alone, there was no one around. I fell to my knees in fright and started to scream *.
-Dagfiiiiiiiiinn. Dagfiiiiiiiiinn.
* I screamed his name without knowing why as I burst into tears *.
-Come back ... Please come back.
* But he still did not appear *.
-It is that even I would not be there to insult you or take you in the wrong. It is beyond my strength.
* I had a good time crying and then quickly stopped when I got hungry. Hunger, I hadn't eaten anything drinkable for days, and now I found myself on my own in a forest surely teeming with predators. Seriously why did I have to come to this? I didn't have much time to think because hunger was lying in wait for me, I got up, wiping my face, then started looking for something to eat. My first real foray into the woods, no one to escort me or to hunt for me. At the beginning I tried to catch small prey, rabbit, squirrel and so on but in the end it was not my domain. Not happy with having nothing to eat for dinner, I had to settle for berries that I found in a corner. There was enough to quench my hunger but not enough to satiate me. Moreover the thirst gaining me I put in the search of a water course. Coming I had seen a river from my horse *.
-But yes ... My horse.
* I just had to go back to where I left it. At least it was complicated with the rain and the landslide there was no trace left and even worse I'm sure that bastard Dagfinn had run away with the horses. It would be like him to do this to me. But no what am I thinking? Despite the fact that I was rude to him he was always the one to take the first step in trying to sympathize with me. I have always taken people's services for granted, I never told myself that one day I would need them so much. In my walk I ended up falling on a stream where I could refresh myself. As expected there was not a single horse around *.
- Blond dwarf motherfucker I ...
* What good is the sworn. I returned to my cave to spend the night. The next day I woke up determined to find something substantial to eat. I stole one of the knives from the corpse of a thief and then chased an animal to kill. I had torn my dress so that it was lighter, and I had left my fur coat so it wouldn't slow it down. I happened to be running behind a rabbit that I ended up catching. The beast was still struggling in my hand *.
-Sorry it's not against you ... But I'm really, really hungry.
* I planted his skull like Nisos with the bandits and he stopped moving. It was strange it was the first life I took *.
-You killed Corrine.
* I immediately vomited into a bush. His words still echo in my head *.
-I didn't kill her ... I didn't kill her ... She just wanted to protect me and things went wrong.
-You push her. * He whispered to me *.
* Even though he was absent, I felt his presence around me *.
- I did not push her, she intervened ... It was to save me.
-Oh yeah. And you have no remorse.
-She was just doing her job.
-Oh yeah ? We're talking about a servant, not a bodyguard.
-It's because she was stupid. * I screamed *.
-No, it's because she liked you a lot. She hoped that despite the loss of your mother you could change. But look at you, a being so despicable that even your father would finds it hard to look you in the face.
-No that's wrong ... My father loves me.
-You shame him.
-It's wrong, I say.
-And above all you are a murderer.
- I said SHUT UP. * I screamed, knocking in the void *.
* The voices had ceased. Dagfinn's ghost was gone and I found myself wandering alone again with no one to help me. Worse still I had to bring food but not knowing how to light a fire it was just one more corpse around me. That night I sincerely mourned my helplessness and my loneliness. I really regretted all that my father had given me these last years, all this joy but also I regretted the moments spent with my mother. Why ? Why are they doing this to me? I struggled to fall asleep again but the berries I had brought back succeeded in calming my hunger. During my sleep I had a nightmare, a horrible dream in which I was at home with my parents and there was this young blond boy. Only he monopolized everyone's attention and everyone loved him. Why is that ? But even worse I saw my mother, he was sitting on her knees they were talking she was laughing with him. Little by little I saw my family move away from me until they were totally far away from me. I got scared and woke up in tears *.
-What ... What a horrible nightmare.
* This time unlike my previous nights it was a little warmer, when I opened my eyes I saw a fire in the middle of the cave with a rabbit on the grid. Sitting on a log a young blond boy wearing a coat over a sleeveless turtleneck shirt. He also wore dark gray shorts and sandals *.
-Dagfinn. * I shouted very happy *. You came back.
* I knew it, I knew he couldn't give up on me. He's too scared of disappointing my father or of being reprimanded if he comes home without me *.
-I see you even brought something to eat. I am using.
* But he gave me a slap that made me waltz against the wall. I admit I was so shocked that the pain was secondary *.
-But ... But what are you doing?
* Without even giving me a look he said *.
-Don't touch my food. These are my personal reserves.
-Hey your reserves? But you own clearly too much for yourself, sharing with me is not going to kill you.
-Phina I think you did not understand well. * He said calmly *. The food that I'm going to hunt is for my stomach. I didn't take you into account in my calculations.
-Eh ? Don't mess with me.
* I rushed towards him trying to take them by force but without even getting up he pushed me away with a stick and all without giving me a look while he grilled his rabbit. It looked like he was protecting his food from a scavenger. Is that all I had become for him? A Scavenger ? *
-You're not serious ? If you don't share with me I'm really going to starve.
-So what ? I'm not your personal cook.
-But ... What are you going to say to my father?
-The truth but already I will have to find my way the rain has screwed everything in its path. It's hard to retrace my steps.
-If you don't want to help me go away. * I was shouting *. I don't need someone so useless if it's just to come and smoke your meat under my nose.
-I don't care about your moods, Phina. The world doesn't revolve around you. If you had understood that earlier you wouldn't be here.
* I was fed up, fed up with him fed up with his behavior *.
-I've had it up to here. Why are you so mean to me? I hate you. * I was yelling in his face *.
* Surprisingly he kept his strange calm that he had since the last time and he retorted it *.
-Phina ... Everyone hates you.
* His words shocked me so much that I burst into tears. I was crying hot tears *.
- I may be a Killick but I am much more human than you.
-Why, why are you so mean to me? * I asked *. Yes ... Yes I killed Corrine, but then I didn't think about it I just wanted to try to survive.
- Poor excuse.
-What did you want me to do? That I let myself be captured? Her sacrifice saved me time.
-And they ended up finding you anyway.
-It's your fault if you didn't ...
-If I hadn't saved you they would have raped you and you would have committed suicide because of the shock. Phina I'll ask you the question again, what do you think your father will say when he finds out that his daughter is a murderer? Do you think you'll always be his beloved princess?
-I ... I ...
* I curled up in a corner of the cave with my face bruised with tears. The point is, he certainly spoke to me, but he acted like I wasn't there. From a distance it looked like he was chatting with a hallucination around him as if I didn't exist. He was telling the truth, he really had no more energy to devote him, no more the strength to hate me so much I disappointed him. And yet I wanted that to change, I wanted him to stop ignoring me and start seeing me. I got up slowly and walked over to him before grabbing the wrist and kneeling down *.
-Dagfinn ... don't hate me. Please don't look at me with those empty eyes. * I begged *.
-If you don't want to be hated, start by showing humanity.
-I promise to make an effort, end the whims I swear that I will change. I would become a helpful person that my father wouldn't be ashamed of. So please just let me ...
* As I spoke to him my hand slowly slid in the direction of a piece of meat but his eye was keen and grabbed my wrist *.
-I told you Phina. I did not go hunting taking into account the little bitch that you are.
* Always the same blank gaze as if he did not see it. Was I so horrible in his eyes *.
-I understood, since it's like that ...
* I withdrew my hand and picked up the knife *.
-I will disappear. I promise I won't cause you or my father any more trouble.
* I walked towards the exit with a desperate look *.
-I'm sorry for everything, sorry for Corrine, sorry for that.
* I came out of the cave in the middle of the night without lighting, shouting my rage to the world. I had finally decided to change and become a good person, but you have to believe that I had hit rock bottom so much that bending down to pick myself up or tossing him a rope was not an option. If it's like that, then I might as well disappear, I wish this forest would swallow me up. As I ran to wish my death I tripped and scratched myself against a tree. But I was so in the clouds that my brain ignored the pain. I sat up on my knees pointing my knife against my throat ready to end my life when I had a vision, some sort of spotted leopard had appeared in front of me. Was it a spirit? In any case if he was there to devour me make it quick, I no longer feel the strength to live. I dropped the knife and spread my arms. The beast roared and pounced on me but when I opened my eyes I saw Dagfinn covered with a kind of greenish aura, he punched the Leopard, who backed up a good ten yards. His gaze in the direction of the beast was murderous, it looked like HE was the predator *.
-Get out of here. * He ordered outright *.
* And as if to be the beast obeyed and disappeared in the forest. I was totally amazed he had just dominated a Leopard with bare hands. He was really Killick after all. But it was the result that shocked him. He turned in my direction and took off his coat which he passed to me *.
-Phina but what are you doing? With this rain you will get sick.
*He observed me then noticed my scratches*.
-And you're hurt. Let's go back to the cave, we'll take care of this. Tch but look at you seriously your face is damaging everything.
* I ... what's going on? His attitude ? His gaze towards me, it was as if ... He saw me again. Was he giving me a second chance? What does it matter just at that moment all I wanted was to give him a hug and that's what I did, but without crying this time *.
-Phina?
- Please don't abandon me anymore. I'll do whatever you want so please don't leave me alone anymore.
*He hug me tenderly and despite the cold of duck I could feel the heat of his body*.
-Do not worry. Besides, I intend to accept Philotas' offer and become his adopted son.
* I looked at him surprised *.
-I wish I could call him dad too. * Said he smiling *.
-Oh ... Dagfinn.
* And I hugged him harder and harder. That night I had won a big brother *.
* End of chapter *
Status Power Mingguan
-- Peringkat
Power 
-- Power
stone