Bab 469: 469

The water was comforting. Alex did not mind the cold, he didn't care about his numbing body or his suffocated lungs. All he wanted was something, even fragments of what he had lost. If he had to sink, then he would, if he had to simply lay at the bottom of the lake, forgotten he would. He needed to see, he needed to know and if this was his only chance he wasn't going to waste it. Just one memory, right after the other, that familiar sensation of losing everything and then getting it back. His fate was a vicious circle, giving him the same struggles again and again. Every time he survived, he would lose a part of him. He would sacrifice it to gain something else but not this time. Right now, as he stood at the finish line he wanted it all. The happiness, the memories, the people. Alex wanted to have everything for once and not give nothing. He wanted to be selfish, reckless.