Bab 11: Reality Crashing Down
" Don't worry Haru, no matter what we're brothers at this point. I'll always be by your side. I believe in you. "
The pain in my chest eased a bit after his affirmation, a couple tears threatened to fall as this was a burden I had been holding since arriving here. As cool as these powers seem they require me to kill, and assimilate. I was a normal fucking guy in my last life. Sure I thought the games were cool, but let's be completely honest here the very idea of how these power's work is sickening. Not just killing, but completely erasing somebody's existence, and assuming not only their form, but their personality, and memories. In a game you don't have to worry about developing personality disorders. But this isn't a game, this ain't a fake world, these aren't fake people, and i'm alive here. How can I even describe the mounting horror of what I'll need to do to survive in this world?
Naruto looked on as my mental tangent continued, worry evident on his face as he waited for me to speak.
The anxiety that had been mounting to this point which I hid behind humor, and the thought none of this was real so it doesn't count crashed down on me all in that moment. I was heaving holding my chest, I couldn't help it. Naruto rushed over to make sure I was okay. Tears began falling rapidly from my eyes while I held on to the lifeline that was Naruto. I couldn't control my emotions at this point. I was a fucking mess, crying all over the kid who was my hero back in my original world. It's no surprise I've been attached to his hip since I arrived in this world. I knew who, and what he would become in the future. I acted like I was supporting him for his sake, but the truth is I needed him to feel okay. I needed something familiar in this alien world, with powers that may as well be a curse.
" Naruto… There's a lot more to my power than just the blades, and other things I've told you about. For these powers to work I have to… I… I don't even know how to properly explain it without sounding crazy. "
At this point he was crying as well. There's no wonder how he became the hero of this world. I've never met anybody this empathetic to the point he really feels others pain.
" It's okay Haru, It's okay. " He spoke softly while holding me up.
" My power is fueled by death. For me to develop I have to kill, and absorb others. " Surprising myself with the clarity with which I spoke," I continued. " My nightmare was my own powers ripping me apart before another stood above me, and called me a failure for not using my abilities. It talked down to me about how I should have killed you, and absorbed you as you're the being with the most potential in this village. An easy target who trusts me more than anything. I don't want to of course. I've never been this close with anybody else, and in this life you're the truest friend I could have ever asked for. "
Naruto stiffened as I explained everything to him, but he relaxed, and continued to hold my sobbing form while telling me it was okay. I am not ashamed to admit that I passed out on the sofa. Sue me, I might be a reincarnated soul, but my body, and brain was only four. In addition I am scared. I know it sounds really stupid, but this power at its core is scary to me. Where am I supposed to go from here? I have to use my power. I know how dangerous this world is, and Kakashi proved to me I can't not use them as the correct path in this life isn't available for me. At least not at this time, maybe after a full assimilation it will be, but until then I'm restricted. I've never killed before, and even worse, what if these powers make me enjoy killing?
" Is he still asleep? "
" Yeah I carried him to his bed after he passed out on the sofa. "
" So, are you going to tell me what all that was about? "
" No Kakashi sensei, Haru will tell you when he feels comfortable. I can't betray him like that. "
" I could make you. "
" You could, but we both know you won't. You still have plenty of things you haven't told us. I noticed the haunted look you get in your eye while looking at us, I know something is eating you alive just like Haru. "
" You're meant to be the dumb one. "
" Maybe with books, and stuff, but people are pretty easy to understand. Haru actually helped out quite a bit with that. He said it isn't enough to just be a hero, I need to be able to understand, and relate with others. "
" When did he say that? "
" A few months ago. "
" Strange, for such a kid to be so wise, but so fragile. "
" He's going to be okay. I think he just needed a bit of a mental break. "
" I hope that's all it is. I've seen many ninja unable to accept this kind of a life. It never ends well. "
" There's a story there, just begging to be let out. I'm quite the skilled listener. I've been told " Naruto had a smirk on his face while he looked up to Kakashi.
" You're a cute kid, but you're not getting that out of me so easily. Meet me at training ground 11 whenever he gets up. We're going to be meeting a friend of mine. "
" Yes Sensei. "
The day had passed. Haru was still fast asleep in his room, and Naruto was currently attempting the leaf exercise as he had been for most of the day. He managed to get it to stick for around 10 seconds at this point. Naruto then began a short physical exercise to stay in shape before heading out.
' I hope Haru is okay. Normally he's like the older brother, so this was surprising. I can't imagine the burden he must feel. Well, actually I kind of can. I haven't said anything but I've been hearing the fox. It's not pleasant. Terrifying really, but I don't have dreams of me killing me. So my issues can wait. '
Pulling out his infamous frog wallet he counted his cash while skipping merrily on his way to find some food. That is when a ramen stand caught his attention. Ichiraku Ramen. This is where he would get his meal from tonight.
A rather small shop all things considered. An older gentleman stood behind the counter, with a teenage girl beside him.
" What can I do for you young man? "
" Hmm Pork miso ramen. Four bowls! "
" You sure you can eat all that? "
" Absolutely! " The older man hadn't opened his eyes through the whole conversation, but could clearly tell what he was doing. Ramen man, and the younger girl got to work, and it was a masterpiece. Watching them cook had Naruto's mouth salivating.
" Oh boy you guy's are real experts! "
" Thank you young man, this has been my dream since I was young, and my daughter was nice enough to come help me day in, and day out. "
" Wow you must be so proud having such a talented, and beautiful daughter! "
" I'm very proud young man. " Ramen guy spoke while his daughter had a bit of blush on her face at the sudden compliment.
The ramen was as godly as he had expected, four bowls quickly disappeared. Pulling out froggy naruto spent the rest of the evening, and his money on ramen. He had a great time, and returned home with a fat belly. He slept peacefully that night.
" I'm going to ruin his day tomorrow. He knows better than to eat anything outside the meal plan. "
Kakashi shook his head while observing Naruto. Having nothing better to do at this point he decided to train for the first time in a long time. After lord fourth's death he had been coasting by relying on his talent to exceed in this world. Anbu missions hardly represented a threat, but he knew there were monster's out there much stronger than he was.
Deciding on the best method to train, he decided to summon several shadow clones and practice taijutsu, and kenjutsu to give himself his deadly edge back. He had earned the name Copy Ninja, and now he needed to earn that title. Having a close stand opposite, and speed through hand signs he did the same cycling throughout every Jutsu he knew how to cast until he had run his reserves completely empty.
PERTIMBANGAN PENCIPTA 
Balthizar_Blake
Balthizar_Blake This chapter was emotional for me to write. Firstly I tried to paint a clear picture at the mental load Harru had been carrying. While his powers are cool, they come with a price. One no sane individual could pay without serious ramifications. I know some may not be a fan of how emotional it was, but how else can I show their bonds depening than showing emotionaly heavy scenes. Thanks for reading.
Status Power Mingguan
-- Peringkat
Power 
-- Power
stone