Bab 5: Part 4

Daksh looked at his forlorn brother, whose eyes remained glued to his joyous pictures with Vrinda when he did not have to answer the calls of his duties at work.

"Till when do you plan to keep yourself away from her, Vivaan? You yearn to see her, talk to her, pour your heart out to her. Every moment. Yet you maintain distance from her. When will you listen to your heart?" asked Daksh.

"This is my punishment, Bhai. To see her and not lose myself in her eyes. Not being able to listen to her words, despite being in her vicinity. To love her and yet to be away from her. After all, it was my bloody choice, wasn't it?"

Self-loathing and guilt rang in his quivering voice, unchanged through the years he had left his love behind.

Daksh shook his head in disappointment and shut his eyes to regain his composure. Daksh turned his heart into stone to utter the words which he knew would hurt his younger brother. He knew it was pertinent Vivaan ceased to drown in repentance and indulge in actions that could secure forgiveness/

"Then don't be a coward and face the consequences, Vivaan! You say that it was your choice, so you know why you had to choose this option. With or without regret, it is up to you to face the consequences and maybe that's the punishment you deserve."

"Bhai, what..."

"I know what I am speaking, Vivaan. I might sound rude to you but you have to face the reality. Face Vrinda. Better now than when she knows the complete truth. After all, who can tell her about her life better than the one whom she chose as her life-partner?" said Daksh, his tone toning down as he took in his brother's shattered form.

Vivaan's rugged breaths were the only sound that tore through the tense silence that enveloped the brothers. Daksh shifted towards his younger brother and placed his warm hand over his drooped shoulders. Daksh's words hit Vivaan's heart and compelled him to take a step in the direction pointed to him by his brother. Daksh could not help but wonder if he had guided his brother towards the stairway to heaven or to a more agonizing hell.

_________________________________________________________

Vrinda's Room,

One look towards her was all it took for Vivaan to forget every inhibition he had in his mind. Her doe-like eyes appeared sleep-deprived with dark shadows beneath those hazel pools, which marred her pale skin like scars. Those eyes, bereft of sleep themselves, had caused him to toss and turn in his bed by appearing in his visions throughout the night. Sometimes to break his heart and sometimes to join those pieces of shattered soul, but fill his consciousness with guilt every time.

The unmistakable fragrance of the lavender hit his nostrils and brought along a wave of nostalgia. It was her favorite scent, after all.

She seemed perturbed by his presence. Her eyes widened as her face leaned forwards and her lips thinned in thought. In that moment of anticipation, Vivaan prayed for her to recognize him. For love or for hatred, to embrace or to entangle, but to lessen the ache in his heart. He wanted the miracle to happen.

"I am sorry, but I don't recognize you. I know it is quite awkward, if we had known each other in the past, but can you introduce yourself once again?" she said, her eyes scanning his features.

The strange wave of familiarity took over her muddled brain. An unknown warmth blanketed her frail form and the much cherished serenity felt within her reach after months of agitation and anticipation. A wide smile, long forgotten like her memories, stretched itself upon her chapped and lacklustre lips as she drank in his sight. The way his eyes ran over her made her heart race and pounded against her ribcage. Yet she felt more at peace than she had since she opened her eyes in the ICU months ago.

For Vivaan it was like a truck of ice emptied upon him, extinguishing his hope as much as his presence had ignited feelings in his significant other. How could he expect she would remember the one responsible for her fate?

"I am Vihaan, Daksh Bhai's cousin," he said, trying to curb his emotions and not display them for her to see as he lied through his teeth.

She looked disappointed, and her smile faltered, making him wonder if she was expecting someone else.

"Oh."

"Were you expecting someone else?"

"No offense to you, but I was hoping to find whom everyone tags as my best friend - Vivaan. I have been here for months now and this so-called best friend of mine never visited me or even spoke to me. I wonder what is the reason."

Her flared nostrils, so reminiscent of the Vrinda he had known, made a smile tug at the corner of his lips before her words pushed him deeper into the abyss of remorse. They did not hide his identity from her, and she had no reason to not expect him to speak to her. After all, she was not aware of the way they had parted their ways.

"He will reach out to you as soon as he is ready. Right now, it traumatized him you don't recognize anyone and don't remember any of the memories you built together. Also, he is busy with his work in the UK. He will come back as soon as he can," he said.

"Oh..."

He could decipher nothing from her expressions, but he could feel his guilt increase several times over.

"I am sorry," he said but realized what he had uttered in the storm of emotions and added,".. on his behalf."

"Oh, there's no need. It must hurt everyone that I cannot recognize them and if we were as close as everyone claims to be, it would be toughest for him, since my parents aren't alive to see me in this state, anyway. What could be more painful than your best friend forgetting your existence, your memories, your inside jokes and 'us' moments? I don't blame him, but I would wait to listen to him. Maybe that can do the wonder everyone is waiting for."

A whimsical smile played on her lips, the one which never failed to steal his breath away, and that time was no different. It was that moment of understanding that re-ignited Vivaan's hope on their future and made him fall in love with her once again.

Maybe she would understand his side when he confesses to his darkest sin.

Maybe she would give him another chance to atone for his sin.

And maybe she would allow him and her to be 'them' once again.

"But for now, I want to listen about my past, of course, only if you can help. I assumed you came to tell me a tale of my past as you came at the same time as others used to come. So, will you?" she asked.

The smile did not seem to leave her lips, and she pondered over the reason to have an urge to smile with no reason, as if she had met answer to every question of hers.

"Your word is my command, Vrinda," he said and for a moment it felt if nothing had changed - she was the same Vrinda who voiced the unvoiced in front of him with no inhibitions and he was the same Vivaan who fulfilled her unheard wishes with no questions - but only if it was.

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