Bab 3: Thoughts of A Bitter Vampire and a Group Project
(A/N - *WARNING* This chapter will be a bit sappy, I'll admit. Well, by a bit, I mean a lot. It's gonna be very romance-y. So if that type of stuff bothers you...why you reading a fanfic about Twilight? What else did you expect was gonna happen?)
POV Change - Rosalie Hale
I was in a terrible mood. Though I can't say I'm surprised. I had to stay up all night listening to the couples of the house romancing one another. One of the many cons to being like I am - there's never too much distance between you and your siblings that can stop you from hearing them sucking each other's faces off.
All I can say is that I'm lucky I don't need sleep anymore otherwise I'd be in an even worse mood from the sleep deprivation of having to stay up all night with their...''romance''.
I'd long given up on the idea of love. Or at least the idea I had while I was still naive and human. The idea of finding a mate, to be specific. Why wouldn't I? I was violated by my fiancee and his friends before I was turned. One of the people I was supposed to be able to trust betrayed me and left me for dead. Even thinking about it made my chest cold and my extremities numb. Both in anger and...fear. Which made no sense to me.
I'd already had my revenge. I'd already killed everyone involved. I was also near invulnerable unless I came across a stronger or quicker Vampire. I didn't age, I didn't need food outside of a few pints of animal blood per week--I'd forever be beautiful and strong.
...So why did this numbness still pervade my body whenever I thought about that night?
I quickly came to the realization that the numbness came because I couldn't feel the pain anymore. The physical pain or the emotional pain. Decades of 'living' would do that to you, I guess.
I huffed, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear before I caught a whiff of something...unusual.
It was new. Something I'd never smelt before in this town because if I had, I would've definitely remembered it. It wasn't a Singer...but it was definitely much different to a normal human. Like every other human was like a microwave meal and this smell was from a top class chef's best dish. I was instantly curious about the origin of the smell. I wasn't as hedonistic as Emmett - I wouldn't just kill the person as soon as I found them. I wouldn't betray Carlisle's ideals like that even if he would inevitably forgive me.
The cafeteria doors to this dreary school opened and the origin of this smell seemed to be the person who walked through the doors.
Instantly, I was attracted to his looks. He was a truly stunning human.
Midnight black hair, cut short on the sides and left messy on the top*. Electric blue eyes that seemed to send a current through my body when he looked at me. Not only was his face stunningly handsome, his body was tall, broad and obviously muscular. More so than Jasper but still not as bulky as Emmett. He was the truly happy medium.
(*A/N - Just think of Sung Jin-Woo's haircut from Solo Leveling. The one after he actually has his hair cut. Not that messy mop-like style he had before he gained the system.)
Even with the heels I had on, he still towered a few inches above me...but I didn't care about that. What I cared about was how he was looking at me and how that made me feel. Usually, having someone admire my beauty was a welcomed experience but right now, in the mood I was in, it would usually only inspire disgust and annoyance in me.
Yet...right now, that wasn't what I felt when he looked at me. I even found myself unconsciously moving to make myself look as good as possible. I didn't think about doing that. My body just did it. Then it hit me all at once.
Like a wave of sound and feelings that shook my whole mind and body.
It was so intense I actually forgot to breath or even emulate the behaviors I had to on a daily basis so I looked human and not like a statue. I was just looking at the vivid blue eyes staring holes into my own eyes. They were like two sapphires with high-powered flood lights being shone through them.
True to my description of them as electric blue in color, they inspired tingles to flood through my body like static electricity and I had to control myself to stop myself from humming in slight pleasure.
Unlike how I usually felt...his gaze made me feel alive. Like I had blood running through my veins again. But even this feeling was nothing compared to what he did next and what it inspired in me.
He simply smiled.
It was nothing new. I'd seen dozens, maybe even hundreds of handsome men smile at me over the many decades I'd been alive. But there was something different about this smile and the face it was on. Sure, it was excited and his attraction to me was obvious from the get-go - he wasn't even trying to hide it.
But the smile was so pure. So pure it was enticing to an incredible degree. Just looking at his lips I wanted to take a step forward and kiss him. Even when such a thought disgusted me, even when I chided myself for thinking like some sort of harlot...I just couldn't find it in myself to care.
It was like this boy was a magnet to me.
And then he stepped toward me and the simple action felt like it was shaking the very world around me. My senses went into overdrive and I heard each of the impossibly strong beats from his heart and I felt my teeth ache as I imagined his blood...but instead, I just focused even further on his face and his smile as it widened even further showing her perfect white teeth.
His height gave him a naturally big stride and he appeared in front of me after a few steps. His smile and scent had truly intoxicated me by this point and I was glad I no longer had blood otherwise I'd no doubt be completely flushed red. He was like a drug. A walking, talking...smiling drug.
...All for me.
As soon as that thought entered my head, I instantly felt shocked and came back a little, knowing what was happening was unusual. Had what I thought earlier about mates and romance all just been useless posturing? All because I was jealous and trying to lie to myself about it?
I was utterly confused. But deep down I knew what this was - I'd asked Carlisle what it was like when he met Esme. I asked Alice what it was like when she met Jasper and I asked Edythe what it was like when she met and saved Emmett. They all replied with similar things: That they instantly felt an unreal attraction to their future mate. That it was like there was a force dragging them together and there was no way to go against it.
What was happening now was so much like that...that it scared me. I, despite my jealousy of my coven for having mates, didn't think I was ready to open myself up like that to another person.
Not yet, anyway. Despite what I'd said earlier about not feeling the pain from what my ex-fiancee did to me...was all a lie. A lie to make myself feel better. What he did to me that night has haunted me ever since.
And...I wasn't sure if I could let another person that close to me ever again.
Betrayal. Everything I'd been told about mates from my siblings told me such a thing would be impossible between true mates...but what if it wasn't? I found that I could only think about the negative possibilities instead of the multitude of positive possibilities when I looked at this human in front of me.
...Even with such a chance at happiness in front of me, I feel myself rejecting it out of fear. I honestly disgust myself.
Just as I was about to begin walking again so I could get passed this human, I felt him grab my hand. Any other day, any other human, and I would've broken that hand and killed the human who touched me without permission. But this...this goddamn mate magnetism made this small amount of contact feel so nice and comfortable I felt my somewhat tense body relax and I nearly swooned when he brought my hand up and kissed the back of it. It was pure courting. Similar to the time when I was young and courting myself. There was no texting back then or phone calls or internet messaging...just simple gestures to show attraction, and I had to admit, I was always a bit weak to this one in particular.
But magnified by the feeling of my supposed mate doing it, I swear I actually felt like my undead heart skipped a beat. Butterflies filled my stomach and it felt like said stomach was doing flips as he looked up and introduced himself.
"Hello there," his voice was deep and smooth but the tone it had was what really made me want to melt. It was so gentle it was like his voice was a bundle of silk brushing against my ears. An intoxicating voice to match an intoxicating scent, smile and appearance, it would seem. "My name's Jason Swan. What's your name?" he asked, still not having let go of my hand.
I was worried he'd notice how hard my skin and flesh were. How cold and lifeless they felt. But he didn't even seem surprised or bothered by it. He just gently held my hand...and I didn't pull away from his because I didn't want to.
I wanted to reply. I wanted to smile and say my name. I wanted to return his courting with my own. But my fear...my fear of the possibilities that the past could repeat itself wouldn't let me.
So, before I could re-think and stop myself and before the human called Jason could even react, I pulled my hand away from his, leaving the first source of real warmth I'd felt in decades, and walked passed him toward the cafeteria doors. It somehow hurt to pull away from his hands despite me not having any knowledge of who he was but as I entered the canteen, I found myself walking with more and more anger. My destination? Alice.
Why hadn't she seen Jason's arrival? Had she seen it and not told me?
One look at her apologetic smile told me the answer to both questions. She had seen his arrival, she just chose not to tell me.
I felt furious.
Seeing me march over, my siblings all looked somewhat confused and Alice actually had the gall to look out the window at Jason who was walking away. They even shared a wave between each other.
I wouldn't admit it but I was now furious AND jealous.
...I hadn't felt so temperamental since puberty.
. . .
POV Change - Jason Swan
Despite pulling the extremely risky move of kissing the back of Rosalie's hand, I didn't actually get a response. Well, either an answer or a slap to my face.
Instead...I got curved. Hard.
Huh.
Turning around, I watched her walking away before I felt my smile growing, "...Well, at least the first meeting was interesting, right?" I whispered to myself, uncaring whether Rosalie or the others heard what I said before I turned around with a pep in my step, walking toward the other part of school where I had history.
As I was walking, I felt a gaze on me from my right and I turned to see Alice looking at me. Feeling like we'd probably be getting on in the future, I lifted my hand up before sending her a small wave.
While she did look surprised and confused, the friendly Alice quickly waved back with a bright smile before turning back to Rosalie who sent a quick glance my way.
It was exceedingly easy to see the jealousy in her gaze as she looked between me and Alice waving.
...It was cute, honestly.
I'd seen her internal battle when she first saw me. Both of us were surprised with these emotions...but the way we handled them was much different. I let them in and easily accepted them because they were truly my own emotions. I didn't feel like I was manipulated into feeling these feelings because they just felt so pure and...true, I guess. But Rosalie was quite the opposite - she tried to push them away and block them out.
I had a few guesses why she'd do that and they were all applicable to the situation at hand. But all I could do for now was sit tight and not give up.
Waiting until Rosalie sent another furtive glance my way, I met her black eyes before giving her a wink in return. It was safe to say her eyes shot away from me and I chuckled at her reaction before I walked off in the direction of my history class.
I had a good feeling about my history class, honestly.
. . .
"Okay, class, I'll be giving you all a group project for the rest of this semester. You'll be grouped via the tables you're on and I expect no complaining, alright?" the history teacher, a young woman who was a bit of the chubby side but otherwise was a nice-looking person, said to the class before turning to me, "Now, we also have a new student joining us today, so do any of you want to take him into your group?" she smiled at me before looking to the rest of the class.
I, on the other hand, focused on one part of the class. A table near the back, to be exact. Three people sat on this table and I couldn't help but smile when I saw one of them put their hand up with a smile, "We'll take him!"
One of the other girls on the table, a blonde, sent a deathly glare to the girl who put her hand up but all she got in reply was a stuck out tongue in reply.
This was obviously the Cullens. The girl who put her hand up was Alice, the girl glaring was Rosalie and the last person was Jasper who continued to look somewhat wooden as he was surrounded by humans.
...Who said History couldn't be fun?
Status Power Mingguan
-- Peringkat
Power 
-- Power
stone