Bab 9: Track 7 - I Think I Fell In Love Today by Kelsea Ballerini
AUGUST
A week has passed now, my little taste of limelight and my five-minutes starletdom is over.
Now, I'm back to my old boring, invisible, nerdy self. Gone were the shorts and glittery legs, today I'm back on my pants since it's my chosen uniform for senior high. I decided to wear fitted denims today, matched with a fitted aquamarine polo shirt with a gold G-Clef logo in front. I'm also wearing a mint green chic jacket because it's drizzly cold since this morning.
Life as a high school student, at least in my school, is like show business, unless you have a good PR and surrounded by the right people, you're nothing but a background character, you're lucky if the camera catches you for five seconds. At least I had a five-minutes spotlight, like a one-hit wonder, I will finally have a story to tell about my high school life on our 10th or 13th, then 17th, then 20th-year reunion.
Despite that, my extraordinary experience on the Finale Concert is still fresh in my memory. Firstly, because never have I imagined I'd ever do or experience something like that. I certainly owe it a lot to, Cece. The crowd was massive, but they were also incredible. I was in my zone, I was confident, excited, and I walked in heels like a pro. I definitely owe that a lot to my dad, I knew he was watching me.
Cece was right, the sunset was the perfect background to my first song - I Think I Fell In Love Today by my favorite, Kelsea Ballerini. I followed a boombastic opening performance by the college dance troupe, they weren't hard to follow, they set the energy for me. I thought it was a good programming by the organizers.
The hosts introduced me with such enthusiasm, like I was a grammy award winning artist, but it did add to my confidence. When I came up the stage, I heard a good amount of cheers from those, probably, who remembered me from the competition.
I immediately saw my mom, RJ, and Cece in a well spot distance. Zero Dantes was, again, in the band, and he gave me a cool-dude salute. We kind of hit it off as music buddies during rehearsals, there is something intelligent about him that caught my little admiration.
I was chill, despite feeling like a dwarf compared to the size of the stage. It was massive, there were two giant ultra hd LED screens on both sides of the stage, and then a wider one in the center, behind me. When I saw myself in the screen, my face was bigger than the sunset.
But when the first notes of music began, a moody flowery field background video appeared on the screens. Suddenly, I felt like I was surrounded by flowers and like I was standing on a beautiful grassy field near a cliff. I didn't used my guitar for my first performance, so I was directed to move to different marked spot on the floor's stage.
Secondly, the memory of that night is so timeless because of the two guys who looked at me like I was a butterfly in the garden, or a bee on a sunflower, or a dragon with feathery wings.
I don't know, I felt my stomach churned when I met their eyes as I began the first lyrics of my first song. Blue was standing inside the small fenced area in front of the stage for the technical staffs. He had a headphone with a microphone set down in his neck, an indication that he preferred to listen to me than the stage director. In his most dashing and charming stance, he folded his arms by his chest then he let out a grin, that I swear, caused chaos in my female reproductive organ.
And then, there was the honest country guy. Sir Albert got in to the other side of the railing where we met earlier. I reckoned, Blue let him in, the crowd has filled that part already. His elbow rested on the railings of an out-of-place useless barricade, his one hand was inside his pocket, and one foot rested one step up of the barricade. He was so relaxed, and quite captivating, especially that his dimples were out from his grin.
Blue was on one side of the stage's front, while Albert was on the opposite side, I was torn. But of course, it was not about them, my performance was for the audience, I did what I had to do to give everyone the feels, that I think I fell in love that day.
Again, we are now at the library. I leave Cece at the Math section, and I walk towards the library reception to reserve the book I just mentioned to her. It's a suggested book by our Theology and Personal Development teacher to read. I'm quite sure that it's just me and Cece who would ever read the book, I mean, who reads about Theology?
As I go on my walk towards Mrs. Aklatan, the petrifying orphan abuser, as Cece, despite her kind heart, would describe our librarian, I see Teacher Kim comes out of the restricted door. A door that just a few moments earlier, I also saw Yoona Eloy and Mitty Castro, both 12th graders, came out of. Weird. Is there a secret book club I know nothing about?
"Mrs. Aklatan, I'd like to borrow this po. Err, is there another copy? I only saw one on the shelve. I need two."
There is always something slow about this woman, she's like a sloth, like it takes one hour for her to lift her brows or make a single facial expression. "Two. For the same book?" she asks, or states, I'm not sure.
"I'm also reserving for my classmate. I have her I.D."
She dulls her already dull face, "Alberto Henyo borrowed that book this morning. He always returns the books he borrows every end of the day. You can come back later for that only other copy."
It is one that impressed me about Mrs. Aklatan, she always seems to know by heart the what, where, why, and how many of every single books in our library. I dread when I imagine sometimes that she could be my future self. But no, I know I have a career at Mang Kanor's auto shop that still can transform me into an exciting future.
"Mecky!" My Blue calls.
He doesn't hang-out in the library like Cece and I, but he frequents and I know he reads books too, some rich-kids do. "Hey, Blue," I press a smile.
He has this inconspicous bracelet that he's always worn, he never takes it off even in the shower. It caught my attention since I know, he's left-handed.
"Mind sharing your playlist?" he asks jestingly.
I have my green Beats wireless headphones on my neck. I smile at the casual humor, "Sure."
Blue returns a book to Mrs. Aklatan, I wait for her to give me Cece's ID back. Not even charming and charismatic Blue affects her, I roll my eyes internally.
"So, Mecky, what are you doing tomorrow?" Blue asks, his gaze went straight to my soul.
I'm caught by surprised. Are you gonna ask me for a date, Blue?
"Err. I don't know. Tuesday class?"
He laughs. My heart flutters.
"No, I mean, after class."
Who can resist his dimples?
"Not much. The pub?"
Oh, my boring my life.
Mrs. Aklatan is done with both of us, so we walk out slow.
"I was thinking, maybe you can skip the pub tomorrow? I wanted to invite you to.. feel good about being a good person?" Blue laughs humorly but kind, I just listen, but I am confused and curious as well. He continues, "We have this thing at the student council. We are doing an outreach to underpriviledged youth. It's for the International Youth Day. It's just a few hours, won't be late. And it's close by, we won't be stuck in traffic."
Without thought, I say, "Sure."
Ok, it's a good, humane activity, but I must admit, I am only in it to be with Blue and see him in this light, when he's being the angel that he is, or just a future politician, either so. We smile and bid our goodbyes, then I go back to Cece.
I check the table of contents of the book I'm holding as I head to the Math section of the library. "Cece -- oh! Hello, Teacher Kim," I almost bump into him.
"Mecky," He nods, then leaves.
Weirdly enough, he looks horny to me. Bench used to have this face at me before. I've only seen once, this impossible Greek God of Beauty, naked, but it was only his backside and it was very impressive, he's got an ass that could change the world. I have the photos in my collection. But he's like the total solar eclipse, you can only catch him naked once every several decades, and like the solar eclipse, you can't see the sun.
Poor Cece, now she looks like she just had a good amount of ice cream, then the rest of it accidentally fell on the floor. I get her, even though my Blue is only a demi-god, I know what it feels when your crush talks to you. And I had plenty of ice cream with Blue last week.
I like a guy who feeds me calories. Last Monday, Blue gave me a bag of chocolates, he said his sister came home from Switzerland. They're freakin' rich, so the chocolates were expensive, some cost a fortune, I supposed. RJ ate most of it, I settled for Toblerones. Tuesday, Blue joined me and Cece at the cafeteria, he wanted to eat my sandwich that I made at home and his pizza as a trade. I decided I'll let him eat my sandwich anytime of the day, and I loved his sausage pizza too. On wednesday, he gave me a single daffodil flower that he picked at the back of the Science Building, there is a garden patio there; I didn't eat it of course, but it should be high-caloried. Then on Thursday, he bought me and Cece three flavors of Haagen Daazs, so I planned to buy him a diamond ring. On Friday, it wasn't anything special, it said 'zero calories', but he gave me and Cece freezer cold Coke Zero in cans after our P.E class, which was very refreshing.
Blue is a known generous, he sometimes treats lunch to the janitors and security guards of our campus. That's why I knew the Student Council was already set for him, I bet, even the janitors voted for him.
On those occassions that I was calorie-fed, Blue was being extra attentive. Cece and I don't talk about it, she usually leaves me and Blue alone. I love her for that. Especially because when it's just Blue and me, he looks at me like he was gonna eat me. Or I'm just imagining things.
One time, he held my hand, it was because he was dragging me excitedly to his car to give me the bag of chocolates. Then another time, he put his arm around my shoulders when a junior fan asked to have a picture with me. The fan, timid, also wanted Blue's picture so the fan's friend took a photo of the three of us, with the fan clung on my left arm putting me in the middle of the photo.
But the most memorable one was when Blue asked my help to pull down the tarpauline banner hanged inside the main building, to congratulate Marvie, me and Loki for winning the main event singing competition. It was a rare achievement that the top three winners came from the high school campus. Usually, an insanely good grade school student wins it. I didn't like my photo in the banner, it was my library ID photo and I had pimples on my forehead, so I was glad it was to be put down.
Blue is tall so he settled for the mono bloc chair he found to step-onto and un-tie the tarpaulin from the top of the wall; he asked me to hold the chair for support. Interestingly, the ropes were pretty high so he had to tip toe to un-tie it; his polo shirt stretched up and I can see his deliriously tempting abs, my throat dried up like the Sahara desert. And to make it more interesting, his crotch was perfectly leveled onto my eyes, his tip-toing made it feel like he's pressing his thick, bulgy groin too close on my face.
I'm not horny like most teenagers are, but Blue is, as to be expected, going to impregnate me in the future, after we get married, of course, or else, Dad will come out of his grave if I'd be so careless.
Dad used to tell me that I can be anything I want to be in this great big world, except being pregnant before getting married. I was seven when he started telling me that.
He used to tell me that the first boy I'd be interested about isn't always going to be my last, that love will come when its time. He also shared with me the names and photos, with some stories, of the 17 girlfriends he had before he met mother Mercy. He married my mom on his 35th birthday, which was very odd for a wedding date. But he said, it was because he no longer see another life without my mom, that falling in love with then Mercy Jocson was the very purpose of his birth. Ricardo Juancho, as mom would call him when she's mad, was a man whom I know to be always right. Partly, it was the reason why Bench and I didn't work out, he was my first but unlikely to be my last. I was just 16 then, I was torn between becoming Bench's girlfriend or to remain daddy's little girl.
Cece and I decided to sit back on our chosen table, but I just notice now, she is no longer sitting in front of me, her stuff is still here. I guess, I dazed off listening to my music as I read a chapter about The Philosophy of Human Beings that will be in pregnantly-huge-Mrs. Geronimo's topic later in class, after this lunch break.
It was the song, I'm always reminded of Bench when I listen to Kelsea's I Think I Fell In Love Today. He introduced me to Kelsea Ballerini when one time he started playing this song at the pub. That badboy of a juvenile, while his playlist consists mostly of rock band songs, he also listens to western country music, even french music.
Bob's Irish Pub plays french music background during the day, thanks to Bench Panelo. The pub opens at 3pm and closes at 7am everyday. When the sun is still up, the pub is just a cozy, Irish country pub with chill background music.
In junior high, my classes ends at 3pm, so I was typically one of the early-bird staff like Bench to open the pub. When he started playing that Kelsea song, sometimes on loop, that's when I realised he might have fallen in love with me. He was careful at first, since I was the owner's safeguarded niece, but Bench has a streak of being risky and bold, kind of like my dad. Bench, later made sure that I was aware he liked me, so he did it with a kiss. It wasn't my first boy kiss, but it was my first with tongue and all. Uncle Bob was out in the newly launched 2nd branch, so Bench was more fearless. Our first kiss led to a make out session inside the staff room. He got hard that time, I felt his erection in my abdomen, but he remained half a gentleman. \
Bench, before I had my eyes on him, I had my eyes on him, and my camera. He's one of the special collection. When we started having sex, he'd also let me take photos of him naked, he's not posing or anything, and I like it random, almost accidental, that my subjects are unaware. But he never knew I have such illustrious collection of fine arts; I am absolutely certain, no one will ever know.
Cece returns to our table, dreadful. Or angry. Or, I don't know, like someone just snatched her favorite popsicle. She's cute when Balong steals her popsicle, like she's a five-year old that's about to cry.
"What happened? Are you ok?" I ask.
She looks fazed, like her astral projection just returned to her body - "Why?" - She doesn't even hear herself.
"Hey! Are you ok? What happened? You look.. miserable."
She fixes her hair, now her face looks.. wrathful, not so very Cece. "I haven't figure it out yet, that word. But I'll know soon," she says.
Sometimes, despite her genius, Cece say something that don't make sense at all. Like her mouth is not sync with her brain. I am concerned with her right now, but I know, when immaculate Cece has her straight face, you don't mess with her. One time, when she was President of EMC2, she got maaaad. Some of her officers failed to do their responsibilities, tasks that she specifically assigned and was significantly crucial, so she turned into the mistress of Lucifer. When geniuses are angry, I reckon, you better find the farthest corner in hell.
Through the rest of the day, Cece looked wretched, anguished, also resentful and a little hostile. She did barked at Magnum Endo during Oral Comms for playing with her hair. Her brother is stuck in traffic so, again, she waits at Happy's guard post, Happy has a way of cheering anyone who just lost a cat, or any pet for that matter. I return to the library to see if sir Albert - Albertm- has returned the book I want to borrow.
I don't see Mrs. Aklatan in her Iron Throne, and it's for real, she sits in an iron chair with a tall ironclad backrest. I don't think it's comfortable, but, if it is for her. I check the shelves if she's somewhere around; she doesn't really do a better organizing of the library, she's a bit of a lazy sloth, but she knows, almost unmistakably, where everything is.
I make one turn, then I see Albert on one of the shelve section. I'm hesitant to come forward but he sees me too. He smiles, his dimples come out. I don't think he smiles the same with other students, or the former nerd Mecky, not that I'm a new one. But his smiles are different now, like his mood just surges up, and I might be causing it, I'm probably stronger than his Starbucks americano he's holding right now. First to assume!
"Mecky." He walks towards me.
"Al -- sir Albert."
I get confused now about his name, worst, during his class last Friday, I called him Albert. Juris confronted me about it; not in a confrontational way, but in her forced Princess Diana airy voice. I shrugged her off, told her I thought I said sir first. It was an honest lie, she wasn't convinced tho, I think.
Albert's eyes sweep my frame, I feel uneasy. "That's a different look. What are you going for this time?"
I press a smile and knits my brows, "Since when did you start profiling my OOTD?" I ask, too casual, I think.
He's confused, his eyes brows raise up, "OOTD?"
I snigger, "You're surrounded by teenagers, and you never learn what OOTD means?" He looks pained with humor in his smile. I explain, "It's -- outfit of the day. Like ahh, an acronym abbreviation. There's tons of it now too, everything are now shortened. We're a lazy bunch, Mrs. Aklatan would say."
He laughs under his nose, his smile is wide, perfect teeth and all, "Like your little brother said, there will always be something I don't know."
We both laugh. He remembered that?! Geniuses! I'm so impressed.
"Are you going to the pub?" he asks while we walk back to still-missing-Mrs. Aklatan's reception.
"Are you going to the pub?" I throw back his question, again, too casually. He laughs. I think, I should act shy now.
He scratches the back-left of his head with one finger. He smiles, unsure, "Do you want me to?" he throws back.
What the hell?
"What does it have to do with me?" I reply. Ok, that was too sharp of me.
He smirks something meaningful or suggestive, "I don't know. I thought.. you're asking me."
"I am asking you -- I mean, I just asked you -- I mean, the question was --"
"I know. I was just being.. coy."
His grin is too much for me to bear now. Suddenly, I'm fidgety, a little vomity too. Not bad vomit, it's more of when you're too excited, or something. Not that I'm excited - or am I?
Mrs. Aklatan is still nowhere. Albert rested his elbow on the wide, mahogany wood, high reception counter while we are still waiting, his body is leaning sideways. He looks at me, "Why are you still here? Your class ended an hour ago."
"Do you want me to go now?" I ask, teasingly daring.
Ok, the dragon is wearing red lipstick, and I don't like lipstick, or red.
His smirk turns to a grin, "No, I don't want you to go."
Awkwardness thickens the air, and good thing he realises that, this is weird, "What's next on your booklist? Thought, you've read all the books here already. Cece always makes that remark about you." He changes the mood and the subject.
I shy down, "The two of us combined, maybe. But no.. I'm not building a library inside my head. I'll be asking Mrs. Aklatan about the book I requested earlier, Mr. Severus suggested it."
"Ah. Ok."
Then Mrs. Aklatan walks in to the reception. While she can be a sloth, there's a contradicting hastiness to her of manner of walking, like she just killed an annoyingly barking dog and she's proud of it. Harrowing thought.
"Alberto, I told you, I can't do much about the volumes of some books you're saying. Principal Moon has put me on a tight leash. The budget is set for this year," the 40-year old something librarian says, fast this time with her head vibrating. She doesn't wear make up much, but she is not that old-looking. She does regularly wear old-looking, ruffled, turtle neck dress gowns, like the orphan-abuser that she is. I'm being mean.
"I know, Mafalda. You told me," sir Albert responds.
"They why are you still here?"
Albert looks at me with a coy innocence, "Why am I still here?" he answers, directed at me, flirtatious.
I retracts, unsure about how I should react. He taps the mahogany surface at once and straightens up, "Then, Alberto Henyo is... signing off," he states, his eyes flickers unsure if it is funny. I laugh internally at the lame humor. "Mecky," he nods.
I'm still unsure about me, so I nod with half a smile. Then he leaves, still holding his personal starbucks coffee tumbler with a word logo saying 'Americano'.
I return to Mrs. Aklatan and ask her about the book. She ordered me to it take from the shelve that she just put it to, then I return to her. I put the book in my bag and I head out back to Cece, hoping she's still with Happy. I am worried about her today.
I walk out of Mrs. Aklatan's vicious reading glasses, then, I startle when I shut the library's door. I see Albert waiting, sitting on one of the table benches outside the library.
He stands up at once, like a cool high school guy and looks at me guilty. Naturally, he still looks like a professor with his buttoned down dull long sleeves and sleek cut pleated trousers. But there is a sense of youthfulness in him right now, and especially recently in class, last Friday to be exact.
"You're waiting for me?" I ask, forward, but I'm keeping my knees on tight lock. I don't know, I feel weakened somehow.
He smiles warmly, his expression is uncertain. I can't help but imagine an image of a guy holding a bouquet of garden-picked flowers and there's a dangling bag of sweet breads underneath his hands, he just came off from his work as a lumberjack, dress himself neat enough, and he stands and waits for me with the New York city's background in the 1960s. His tousled hair makes him look unwordly, his guilty face bears an honest sense, and his posture exudes carefree youthfulness. My stomach churns, what is happening to me?
"Yes," he starts unsure, "I, uh, I'm hoping we could go together to the pub?" He bit his lower lip, worried. This isn't sir Albert, this is a stranger.
I'm almost speechless. I breathe-in silently, "Sure," I say without thought and I swallow dry.
We walk together, going around the roofless centerpiece garden inside the main building, then towards the main entrance.
"I'm just gonna check on Cece. I see her, she's still at Happy's post," I say, awkward.
"Oh, ok. I'll just be at the parking lot. I parked behind the cafeteria. It's a black chevrolet pick-up."
I'm surprised that the caffeine addict Einstein teacher is driving a pick-up truck. I'm elated but I'm not showing. Interesting.
"Ok, I'll see you there," I respond.
He pauses, unsure again, "Uh, do you want me to carry your bag?" he asks.
"Huh?" I quickly reply. Why? This is so weird. We are so weird. And good that he realises that.
He fidgets awkwardly, "Err -- I thought.. I'd, uh, I don't know," then he laughs gingerly, "I'm new to this."
New to what??
"I can carry my bag.. sir," I say gingerly.
He retracts, either embarrassed or pained. I rescind my last statement, suddenly, I feel bad for him. I want to hug him.
What???
"Ok. Of course. I'll see you then." He walks-out, heading to an alleyway beside the cafeteria.
I stand on the steps of the main building's entrance, iffy. I don't know if I'll walk towards Cece or I'll head straight to Albert, I'm kind of magnetized of sort. I breathe out forced air.
Honestly, I'm confused about everything. There is this air between me and Albert, like we know something we don't know yet. It's so confusing. Not to mention, I have this urge, coming somewhere very far from within my conciousness, that I wanted to kiss him and be wrapped around his arms.
"Hey, Mecky!"
I'm startled. I turn my head to the direction of the voice with brisk promptness. Within a second, I realise Blue is standing behind my back. It's too instant, I have no control or expectations. I don't know why his face is an inch away from mine. I had a glimpse of him smiling, but I am set instantly into his eyes. Our lips accidentaly meet -- no, we accidentally kiss. It isn't a scrape or an accidental touch of a hot kettle, our lips lock in an instant, both pressing. I feel the soft warmth of his lips, a surge of pleasantly warm heat starts covering my face. I can taste the rainbow, hear the wind, and feel both the rain and the sun. Then, the world fades away.
PERTIMBANGAN PENCIPTA 
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