Bab 248: The monster I have become

Alanis. 

Shit. 

What the hell is going on with me?

How can I be this cold towards the man I love?

I see the pain in his eyes as the words escape my lips. This is the worst thing I have ever done to anyone. He doesn't say anything. He just stares at me in complete shock. I am shocked at myself too. I don't know why I said this. I don't know why I can't be as excited as he is. Everything that is happening is confusing to me.

I said I would handle anything, as long as he was by my side but now I don't know what I am even thinking. I can't handle this.

I should change my mind. Take back my words but I don't want to. It seems like I have already made up my mind and from the way he is looking at me, it seems like he knows.