Bab 103: Always with you.

Beau. 

''Close your eyes,'' Jules tells me. 

I obey him and do exactly what he wants. ''Your father used meditation as a way to channel all your energy to the right place. I want you to think of him, remember all the things he taught you.''

I don't like to think of him, remembering him brings painful memories. Uncle Jules doesn't want me to forget him. I can never forget him. meditation has never been something I liked. I hate the silence that comes with it. the fact that you have to be in your head. I hate being in my head, the thoughts that come with it. Too many bad things have happened to e of recent. Being in my head makes me think of everything. 

This is Uncle Jules way of preparing me for the ritual. I have to be mentally ready. He said everything will come naturally, the mating ritual is instinctual. I will know what to do when the time comes.