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4.48
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well i know the author will never see this since he stopped writing 2 years ago but i just found another fanfic with the same concept but done way better than you I just wanted to for you to see that the other fanfic succeeded where you failed mesribly
Membuka SPOILER
its definitely not bad, 4 for writing as you can see that the writing at the beginning is a bit winged. 4 for stability of updates as author isn't chinese and can pump out 1000 chapters 4 story dev, as i like the concept of the zenith squad and the fact that mc isnt going through the normal *become a hero* thing that fanfics do, please not there is some polygamy in the story. 3 for character design as i personally like villain mc's and mc's that arnt normal world background 5 i mean it is a mha fanfic...
A well fanfic, honestly it get dropped I just want to say that I just want to say that I just want to say that I just want to say that I just want to say that
I'd say your trying to hard with what your writing and throwing away good writing habits for poor ones. you did well with the characters to an extent and failed at progressing your entire story by writing facts rather then feelings. so being as straightforward as possible: . oc characters are fine but just that . a little more than half your interactions you have in the book have like 2 personalities to them .it looks like you gave up on your book towards the relationship chapter so all in all average in my opinion,but I'm dropping it half way some to do with what I said so it's whatever really
Membuka SPOILER
Nada tiene sentido Nada va de acuerdo con la trama principal ni nada Un niño de 4 0 5 años se une al gobierno y los padres lo dejan haciendo misiones peligrosas (quién en su sano juicio dejaría a un bbe hacer estas cosas 👎👎👎👎👎👎
thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks
omment Cabelinho: second, thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks th thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks
haha FINALLY a fanfic of one of my most favorite ONEPIECE character.......................... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
i didn't come far I started this book because i was interested in the concept and it was 'completed' it isn't . . . it got dropped so i stopped reading it now i am writing this completely useless review because it is nowhere (at least i couldn't find any) stated that it got dropped and i want to inform you guys in it and now to the author: it would be nice if you could clearly state that it got dropped and i actually think that the concept has a lot of potential and hope that you maybe rewrite/pick it back up some day
thanks for the chapter........,..................... 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
Membuka SPOILER
[img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]
spllllpalsdpalspdlaspdlapsldaspllllpalsdpalspdlaspdlapsldaspllllpalsdpalspdlaspdlapsldaspllllpalsdpalspdlaspdlapsldaspllllpalsdpalspdlaspdlapsldaspllllpalsdpalspdlaspdlapsldaspllllpalsdpalspdlaspdlapslda
Nfnxjxndhdnbdksnznsjjsjsjdhxjdjxndnnxdnbxbdhdbxbxndnxndnnsnxjsjjxjxjxjwishbwwjjhejskshuekdjsjsksjnsjsksjsnxnksksjsjdjjxjxjxjjxnxnxnjxnxnxnnxncbxbnxbf
4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2
Its still very new so i can't really say how good it will be but the starting is pretty good for me atleast and i have high hopes of it becoming a very good fanfic so it gave it 5 stars.
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Membuka SPOILER
I wanna be the very best like no surgeon ever was To find them is my goal To treat them is my test Surgeon sat! Djbedjdnnendjdndndjdjdidd9oddx
👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
Membuka SPOILER
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Membuka SPOILER
Polinema Polinema Polinema Polinema Polinema Polinema Ooredoo Ooredoo Ooredoo Ooredoo Ooredoo Ooredoo Indosat Indosat Indosat Indosat Indosat Indosat
SI(dpsaxczcxzkxcmzkcmcmcmxzcmzcmcmzxcmzczxkccmzmcxmckzcmzkcmzxkmczxcmzkmczxcmzxczxmckzxczxcxzmczmxkxczxkcmkzcmzcaadasdasdadadkadadadadakdasmdaskdkasmdasmdkadakmdkasd
Realy good for a newbie writing liking it so far summon Cthulhu "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!" somnia aeternae vocare possit aeternam tenebrarum obscurum. ut omnes moriuntur magnificentiam aeternae adorare.
AYAYAAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYYAAAYAYAYAYAYAYAAYAYAYAYAAYAYAAYAYAAAYAYAYAYAAYAYAYAAYAAYAYAAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYYAAAYAYAYAYAYAYAAYAYAYAYAAYAYAAYAYAAAYAYAYAYAAYAYAYAAYA
Membuka SPOILER
NiceNiceNiceNiceNiceNiceNiceNiceNiceNiceNiceNice NiceNiceNiceNiceNiceNiceNiceNiceNiceNiceNiceNice NiceNiceNiceNiceNiceNiceNiceNiceNiceNiceNiceNice
Actually, I was quite impressed for this story. Unfortunately, after the Quirk test, you made MC into a government dog. This is a bit uncomfortable for me. Yeah... I just hope that the MC will do anything freely, without worrying that someone will curb it...
Like it Like it Like it Like it Like it Like it Like it Like it Like it Like it Like it Like it Like it Like it Like it Like it Like it Like it Like it Like it Like it Like it Like it Like it Like it Like it Like it Like it Like it Like it Like it Like it
"Deep **** midoriya". With just that sir I'll give you 5 stars and add this to my library, keep the chapters coming.. 102939484884848399292(("+8_838(("(8_884)(('(88_(4!'((_!('_(!_(:9_)($($("8'8(_(
Still a new book, and i quite liked how it goes Ope-Ope no mi is such a good Quirk for him Being able to Operate freely on anything inside his 'Room' Potentials are too great . Can use techniques of Law from One Piece and more since this is BNHA, and i think medical field is too advanced compared to One Piece. WISH YOU GOOD LUCK IN WRITING THIS MASTERPIECE (Weapon - Scalpel : no matter how short or long his weapon with a single swing his cut range is as big as his 'Room' this was shown when Law covered entire Lab Mt. In punk hazard That was inside his 'Room' field, so no matter how small his weapon it can easily make big cuts as long as it is within his 'Room'. )
well i know the author will never see this since he stopped writing 2 years ago but i just found another fanfic with the same concept but done way better than you I just wanted to for you to see that the other fanfic succeeded where you failed mesribly
Membuka SPOILER its definitely not bad, 4 for writing as you can see that the writing at the beginning is a bit winged. 4 for stability of updates as author isn't chinese and can pump out 1000 chapters 4 story dev, as i like the concept of the zenith squad and the fact that mc isnt going through the normal *become a hero* thing that fanfics do, please not there is some polygamy in the story. 3 for character design as i personally like villain mc's and mc's that arnt normal world background 5 i mean it is a mha fanfic...
A well fanfic, honestly it get dropped I just want to say that I just want to say that I just want to say that I just want to say that I just want to say that
I'd say your trying to hard with what your writing and throwing away good writing habits for poor ones. you did well with the characters to an extent and failed at progressing your entire story by writing facts rather then feelings. so being as straightforward as possible: . oc characters are fine but just that . a little more than half your interactions you have in the book have like 2 personalities to them .it looks like you gave up on your book towards the relationship chapter so all in all average in my opinion,but I'm dropping it half way some to do with what I said so it's whatever really
Membuka SPOILER Nada tiene sentido Nada va de acuerdo con la trama principal ni nada Un niño de 4 0 5 años se une al gobierno y los padres lo dejan haciendo misiones peligrosas (quién en su sano juicio dejaría a un bbe hacer estas cosas 👎👎👎👎👎👎
thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks
omment Cabelinho: second, thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks th thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks
haha FINALLY a fanfic of one of my most favorite ONEPIECE character.......................... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
i didn't come far I started this book because i was interested in the concept and it was 'completed' it isn't . . . it got dropped so i stopped reading it now i am writing this completely useless review because it is nowhere (at least i couldn't find any) stated that it got dropped and i want to inform you guys in it and now to the author: it would be nice if you could clearly state that it got dropped and i actually think that the concept has a lot of potential and hope that you maybe rewrite/pick it back up some day
thanks for the chapter........,..................... 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
Membuka SPOILER [img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]
spllllpalsdpalspdlaspdlapsldaspllllpalsdpalspdlaspdlapsldaspllllpalsdpalspdlaspdlapsldaspllllpalsdpalspdlaspdlapsldaspllllpalsdpalspdlaspdlapsldaspllllpalsdpalspdlaspdlapsldaspllllpalsdpalspdlaspdlapslda
Nfnxjxndhdnbdksnznsjjsjsjdhxjdjxndnnxdnbxbdhdbxbxndnxndnnsnxjsjjxjxjxjwishbwwjjhejskshuekdjsjsksjnsjsksjsnxnksksjsjdjjxjxjxjjxnxnxnjxnxnxnnxncbxbnxbf
4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2 4.2
Its still very new so i can't really say how good it will be but the starting is pretty good for me atleast and i have high hopes of it becoming a very good fanfic so it gave it 5 stars.
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Membuka SPOILER I wanna be the very best like no surgeon ever was To find them is my goal To treat them is my test Surgeon sat! Djbedjdnnendjdndndjdjdidd9oddx
👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
Membuka SPOILER ............................................................................................................................................
Membuka SPOILER Polinema Polinema Polinema Polinema Polinema Polinema Ooredoo Ooredoo Ooredoo Ooredoo Ooredoo Ooredoo Indosat Indosat Indosat Indosat Indosat Indosat
SI(dpsaxczcxzkxcmzkcmcmcmxzcmzcmcmzxcmzczxkccmzmcxmckzcmzkcmzxkmczxcmzkmczxcmzxczxmckzxczxcxzmczmxkxczxkcmkzcmzcaadasdasdadadkadadadadakdasmdaskdkasmdasmdkadakmdkasd
Realy good for a newbie writing liking it so far summon Cthulhu "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!" somnia aeternae vocare possit aeternam tenebrarum obscurum. ut omnes moriuntur magnificentiam aeternae adorare.
AYAYAAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYYAAAYAYAYAYAYAYAAYAYAYAYAAYAYAAYAYAAAYAYAYAYAAYAYAYAAYAAYAYAAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYYAAAYAYAYAYAYAYAAYAYAYAYAAYAYAAYAYAAAYAYAYAYAAYAYAYAAYA
Membuka SPOILER NiceNiceNiceNiceNiceNiceNiceNiceNiceNiceNiceNice NiceNiceNiceNiceNiceNiceNiceNiceNiceNiceNiceNice NiceNiceNiceNiceNiceNiceNiceNiceNiceNiceNiceNice
Actually, I was quite impressed for this story. Unfortunately, after the Quirk test, you made MC into a government dog. This is a bit uncomfortable for me. Yeah... I just hope that the MC will do anything freely, without worrying that someone will curb it...
Like it Like it Like it Like it Like it Like it Like it Like it Like it Like it Like it Like it Like it Like it Like it Like it Like it Like it Like it Like it Like it Like it Like it Like it Like it Like it Like it Like it Like it Like it Like it Like it
"Deep **** midoriya". With just that sir I'll give you 5 stars and add this to my library, keep the chapters coming.. 102939484884848399292(("+8_838(("(8_884)(('(88_(4!'((_!('_(!_(:9_)($($("8'8(_(
Still a new book, and i quite liked how it goes Ope-Ope no mi is such a good Quirk for him Being able to Operate freely on anything inside his 'Room' Potentials are too great . Can use techniques of Law from One Piece and more since this is BNHA, and i think medical field is too advanced compared to One Piece. WISH YOU GOOD LUCK IN WRITING THIS MASTERPIECE (Weapon - Scalpel : no matter how short or long his weapon with a single swing his cut range is as big as his 'Room' this was shown when Law covered entire Lab Mt. In punk hazard That was inside his 'Room' field, so no matter how small his weapon it can easily make big cuts as long as it is within his 'Room'. )