Bab 74: Tied up for the real catfight!
Frozen Milk was on the verge of exasperation. Right here, right now he would've loved to take on all the monsters and be ripped apart brutally than to be here and endure the painful humiliation. Shameful, couldn't even begin to describe the hot, earth-swallowing feeling Frozen Milk tried hard to control.
He was the author! He was the damn author so why couldn't he split seas to be drowned, crack grounds to fall into the abyss, catapult himself into the sky to fall to his death? Wasn't that unfair? Instead, he had to watch and witness the greatest tragic climax of the story be reduced to a fucking catfight!
Fuck, everyone calm down! I love you all equally! Ok, I do have some that I love more than the others but you're all my kids, ok? Yet those words kept getting stuck in his throat as he hung tied up, head down from the tree.
Yes, that was right. Upside down, in front of Frozen Milk, his greatest characters fought over was who was his favourite. His protagonist, his villain, his author protagonist and his holy beauty. They fought over who could be the one to keep him? What the fuck was he a possession, a toy?
Then they came to the decision to tie him where everyone could see him. Fuck, couldn't you've at least tied me up in a chair instead of having me endure the blood gushing into my eyes every fucking second?
And then they proceeded to settle the matter by having a fucking word contest! What in the fucking butthole was a word contest? It was as stupid as it sounded.
You'd sit in a nice circle and bombard each other with arguments like in a debate round and the one who had the most valid point able to humiliate the others into despair would win.
But rather than that they chose to use all their experiences, their adventures with Frozen Milk to see who had a deeper connection to their creator. Of course, they were all embarrassing and shameful stories of Frozen Milk!
He knew, he knew he didn't leave any good impressions in his own story, ok? He knew he was a walking shame button for everyone to press when they felt violated by his existence.
Fuck! And the system stayed quiet all the time. No, it wasn't quiet, it was quietly snickering in one corner of Frozen Milk's brain. What was new?
It could at least choose not to reside in his mind to make fun of him but since his system was a proper sadist, it'd obviously let him feel the all so more painful humiliation that a computer, an Ai looked down on him, a mere mortal. His humanity was made fun of by this shit!
Frozen Milk couldn't believe and he couldn't breathe. It was the end of the book, the final confrontation where blood, sacrifices and tears would flow but instead of the epic fight he spent weeks of squeezing out his creative juices to describe, it became a fierce word blowing fight.
Word after word, story after story, it all stabbed Frozen Milk in his most vulnerable spot! His ego was attacked over and over again, it was instant KO!
Fair enough, Frozen Milk had to admit that even as a writer he wouldn't have been able to write this unswerving word slaughter. It was too much for any writer!
How did it all end up like this? Years passed after Frozen Milk transmigrated, the world was already unified and Frozen Milk withstood the greatest death flag of telling his characters about the truth that all of this was just a book Frozen Milk wrote, yet the only thing those fucked up heroes did was to fight over him!
Yes, he felt honoured he was their world but just let him down from that tree! No matter how many times he called out to them they couldn't hear him. Their arguments were in their most heated phase!
Frozen Milk felt his soul slowly leaving his body. All his main characters became even more handsome and beautiful than it'd be allowed yet what regressed wasn't their immaturity, on the contrary, it even rose, but their fucking intelligence stats never got levelled up! And that was the most important thing needed to survive!
Suddenly, Prota stood up and approached Frozen Milk. Frozen Milk's eyes lit up and signalled Prota to help him.
"Frozen Milk, you love me the most right? After all, we spent the most time together," Prota stared at him with crazed puppy eyes.
Frozen Milk's face blanked and he gulped.
"What nonsense you sprouting? If father would really love you, he wouldn't have thought of making me murder you!" Glimpse Water dragged Prota away from Frozen Milk.
Don't call me father! How many times I gotta tell you??
Frozen Milk's inexplicable feelings spiralled into a black mass that could any second leap out of his mouth and vomit a new OP character to destroy this wretched world.
"That's why my Lord came to grace us himself in order to save us from you," Vil also approached Frozen Milk, "Also, my Lord at our first meeting had his hands all over me to show he loved me the most."
His barbaric villain turned into an omega in heat. Screw you, don't call me your Lord and wipe that damn perverted expression of your bloody face! It wasn't to arouse you! And you fucking tried to kill me!
How many times have we been through this????
"You screwless men! Don't touch my husband! You all lost instantly the moment I stepped in. My husband is straight and I, as the holy beauty, obviously won the race from even miles away," Holbe caressed Frozen Milk's cheeks.
Frozen Milk instantly got fired up yet he couldn't help but refute: Don't call me your husband! Don't call yourself the holy beauty! Since when were we married? How many times did I tell you we aren't? You were supposed to marry Prota and died to be only resurrected by Glimpse Water's lecherous ways!
"STOP TWISTING MY PRECIOUS BOOK! Do you even know how much life force I put into his twisted shit? Fuck you all! Yes you, you, you and you! All of you!" Frozen Milk spit into each of his characters' hearts and left a puddle of disappointment.
But his characters were all so disillusioned they were willing to forgive him and even thought it was his sadistic way to tell them how much he loved them actually and that Frozen Milk was just a little dishonest pile of poop.
"Frozen Milk please don't say that," Prota's eyes turned even hazier, he was too absorbed in his love-struck puppy love!
Fuck off! Don't come closer! Don't touch me!
"Frozen Milk, did you forget the first time we met?"
NO, NO, NO!
"NOOOOO! Stop this! No, system please spare me, no don't use the flashback feature along with Prota's speech! Why does a shitty function like this even exist? No one needs to see it! NO ONE!"
Yet it was too late. It started:
"Did you forget Frozen Milk? The day we met? Yes, it was on the beautiful mountain of fate in the neutral island. I didn't tell you but the moment I saw you I felt a connection, a destined string of inseparableness flowing around us and string us together. Yes, that day, that beautiful day, you helpless loner stood there looking for a strong hero to carry your 24k fake gold toilet for you."
STOOOOOP!
Frozen Milk wanted to forget this ultra embarrassing moment! Stop this! This was more torture than any physical pain could ever achieve!
The worst thing was that Prota looked so proud and the other three characters were just eating the vinegar out of his hands! They were so jealous of Prota's first encounter with him!
Don't be! There's nothing to be fucking jealous about!
"Then for a whole year we trained together, sweated and whispered sweet words of encouragement to each other. Frozen Milk even gave up all his wealth to have me by his side to train. He didn't want me to leave from his sight."
That's wrong! That was so wrong! Frozen Milk paid the money for himself! That stupid head monk had him bribe him to pay money for Prota too! Just the thought of it made Frozen Milk angry again!
"Then once we've arrived in the water capital, Frozen Milk and I worked to have our future secured and at night we'd train and then showered and slept together on a bed. Frozen Milk loved to eat all the food I cooked and was always begging me to spoon-feed him."
That never happened! None of this shit happened! Stop fucking lying! Why the hell do you make yourself out to be my fucking wife, you psycho?
"And then, we'd-"
"Alright, stop!" Glimpse Water's bloodshot eyes threatened to shoot lasers out of them to shut Prota up.
"Lemme tell you, the magical bonding my father and I went through," now Glimpse Water's turn came.
I already said don't call me that! What magical bonding? You're an unruly bastard of a son! And for fuck sake, Prota, Vil and Holbe were all your characters too!
Did you forget your character setting, you wrote them and transmigrated into this story too! You can't forget such an important fact!
How many times do we have to go through this? Why are all of you reverting back and back again, or are you just denying whatever I say? Is it that? IS IT?
Bab 75: The true start of the story that was just the prologue the whole time!
Frozen Milk could feel the doom looming over him as it was now Glimpse Water's turn to speak. What kind of nonsense would come flowing out of his mouth?
"I can still remember the first time father and I locked eyes. Father tried to protect me from this brute protagonist as he excused me of harassing a girl."
Sure enough, it was the rainbow-coloured vomit gracing Frozen Milk's mind.
...Did you forget? You actually harassed the waitress!
"And then the words of fatherly love just flowed from his mouth and it was the first time he admitted his true identity! The sight of me made him burn with passion, he couldn't help but view his son, me, as his silver lining."
What the actual fuck? That doesn't even make sense! Stop this bullshit!
"However, I was an ignorant and bratty son, so I disdained my father's love for me and even was disgusted as he lovingly and caringly stalked me for months! Only then could I see his persistence and had to beg for his forgiveness that I was an unfilial son."
I didn't stalk you! I was just making sure you weren't doing bad things and had to prevent you in case anything happened! Stop, twisting my goodwill as a father's incestuous, lecherous way, you maniac! And you three idiots stop biting on stuff to show your frustrations! I repeat, there's nothing to be jealous of!
"As I came to know father's true identity-"
"Enough!" Vil stepped forward, "I shall tell you the story of my Lord's and me brilliant life story."
No, no, no-
"Host, it seems you have a great time. Host being loved it great. I must say I'm jealous myself."
Fuck! Don't come jumping out like this and since when was your fucking monotone voice so emotional and I can hear you trying not to laugh your ass off!
"I was the very first one to meet my Lord just when he transmigrated, yet I failed to notice my Lord's intentions. I can still feel his long, slender fingers trailing up and down my biceps and abs, the desire in his eyes to start a forbidden relationship between a lustful Lord and his lowly subject."
You shut the fuck up! That is absolutely not fucking true! Don't make me out to be a fucking perverted Lord that lusts after his servants! All of you, I'm straight! And wipe that damn aroused disgusting look off your fucking face, you masochist!
"However, I lost my Lord and had to endure the blazing feelings he set into my heart for two years before I could meet him again."
You meant your fucking killing intent, no?
"Finally, when I was able to see my Lord again, I had to embrace him with my strong, warm arms."
You meant you were trying to crush me to death, no?
"And gently wrap my hands behind his head."
You meant you wanted to strangle me, no?
Fuck, stop this! Don't turn your attempts to kill me into some weird sexual shit!
"My husband would never fall for your lies," Holbe couldn't endure anymore. Hearing all those stories her heart grew teeth and wanted to bite all of their heads off.
Frozen Milk was every time from anew mesmerised by his holy beauty. She was indeed the most beautiful person this universe could produce and he created her. Everyone who laid eyes on her would instantly evaporate into tiny air balls to buzz around her so they could be in one way or another close to her.
"You all tremble and behold of our dream and other-worldly romantic love which even puts Romeo and Juliet to shame."
How in the world do you know who Romeo and Juliet are? I've never written this into the story!
"Our wedding was more than magical."
We never got married!
"I still remember the day when my husband stole my heart. As a beautiful bride, I stood on the altar fated and forced to marry a brute when suddenly my saviour crashed into my arms to steal me away."
Fucking hell, don't make me seem like a trash male who steals other's brides! And that was the mayor's daughter's wedding, wasn't it? She was the one who was supposed to marry and you were just a guest and when I crashed into your arms you threw me into a mob of angry guests with disgust! There was nothing romantic about it!
"And after that, after this from God blessed and holy encounter, we'd always-"
"STOP!" Frozen Milk couldn't take it anymore. He was way out of breath trying to justify himself in his mind. The only one who was able to hear his thoughts was the system anyway!
And that android shit laughed and laughed until it echoed in his ears and vibrated in his whole brain. He could literally feel how his brain smacked to all sides of his head.
"Frozen Milk!"
"My Lord!"
"Father!"
"Hubby!"
Frozen Milk was on the verge of bursting. Not just his patience, his brain, his veins and his eyes but his whole being was threatened.
"If you blimey twats don't let me down this instant, I'll make you all into cannon fodders and raise the normal ones into main characters I love!"
The gasps were so loud, so dramatic and so hurt, Frozen Milk thought he was in a soap opera.
They instantly freed him.
"Guys can we just settle this peacefully?" Frozen Milk rubbed his sore spots but was instantly touched in all those places by his suitors.
Frozen Milk's face blanked to the point it was now his natural expression. It moulded perfectly into the rest of his body.
"Ok, I have Frozen Milk on Mondays for myself!"
And so the fight for Frozen Milk's precious days started. In the end, it was settled peacefully if Frozen Milk disregarded the constant attacks at his ego.
The schedule looked like this:
Monday: Prota
Tuesday: Vil
Wednesday: Glimpse Water
Thursday: Holbe
Friday: Prota/Vil
Saturday: Glimpse Water/ Holbe
Sunday: Frozen Milk
Sunday was the only day Frozen Milk could catch a breath and rest.
Yes, he was like God. And on Sunday he laid rest.
Only difference was that Frozen Milk wished he could lay rest forever.
The adventure momentarily came to a halt. The world was already unified and the only broken and scattered thing was Frozen Milk who was divided into fours for his characters to enjoy themselves with. Frozen Milk wanted to cry.
His adventure was over but his misfortune only grew and grew. This was only the true beginning.
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