Bab 2910: OPEN-MINDS
I thought I saw her when I was in town. I stopped, paused and took a closer look at where she would have been standing. It wouldn't be the first time my mind had played tricks on me. It was just a glimpse, the back of the woman's head as she turned when some background noise piqued her interest, and the way she walked also reminded me of her. The body frame was exact, and yet, no. My mind dismissed the paranoia; hell, I could even hear her mocking laugh in my thoughts.
Paranoia was my buddy, the warmth that I kept close to me at night; even so, I took the dirt roads when I headed back to the cabin, just so that habit didn't sneak too far into my life. Of course, all this didn't stop me from checking the mirrors more often to see if anyone followed, just in case.
As I pulled alongside the cabin, my mind was already making a list of things to pack as I exited the truck. All the time I pulled clothes from drawers I cursed myself for getting careless, for being there too long, for daring to get attached to a place, and even having the gall to think I could settle down here.
The sound of a car interrupted my thoughts. Instinctively, my shoulders slumped. I was right; it wasn't my imagination. I had seen her. The vehicle came to a stop next to mine. It idled for a moment before she stopped it and got out. All I could do was lean against the door frame and watch as she took a step to the side and opened the rear passenger door to pull a bright pink suitcase out of the back and walk toward me.
"I left you alone for six months and you skipped around the country trying to hide. For all that time I figured you were going to come to your senses and come home. Well, I got bored with waiting."
She dropped the case on the porch; her arms came around my neck and we kissed. After a moment, she pulled her head away and looked at me rather quizzically.
"Oh, come on, I know you can do better than that. I haven't seen you in over six months. Show me you've missed me."
Instinctively I took a step back and looked at her.
"What are you doing here, Shauna?"
Her arms came away from my neck when I moved, the palms of her warm hands gently brushed my cheeks as they, too, moved away from my upper body. She took a step to the side, once again picked up her suitcase and walked into the cabin, her eyes looking around for a moment before dumping her case by the couch and heading to the open kitchen.
"I've given you six months to get this out of your system. Your inheritance, although vast, is shrinking by the day, since you seem to want to spend so much time running away from me. My inheritance is shrinking at the same rate, since I have to hire people to track you down. This has to stop, and since you won't come home, I'm staying with you until you get your head out of your ass and come home with me."
"Not going to happen, Shauna. There are reasons we are not together, and I want to keep it that way."
I watched as she got herself a glass of water and sat on the couch. She patted the seat right next to her. I sat across from her, the coffee table between us.
"You need to stop playing games; we have wasted so much time over this nonsense. Can't you get it through your thick skull that I love you and want you by my side, forever?"
My laughter wasn't what she expected.
"And can't you get it through your thick skull that I don't want what you are asking of me?" I sighed and used that moment to calm myself, pulling a deep breath within myself before I tried again.
"Shauna what you want is illegal and if our folks were still alive, I'm sure Dad would have his shotgun pointed at both of us for bringing down the family name."
She rolled her eyes at me. The damn bitch just couldn't help herself.
"Look, did either of us say stop? Did we cause anyone harm? Let's face it, Andy. It started out as a game and just got serious. I'm yours whether you like it or not."
This time it was my turn to look towards the heavens, trying to find the words that would at least make her understand.
"We were drunk, Shauna. We had just buried our folks and our minds and emotions were all over the place."
Her eyes narrowed into slits. Her attention turned fully towards me as she hissed with so much venom, "That's a fucking lie and we both know it."
Shauna looked as if she paused from what she originally wanted to say. She let out a sigh before taking an even deeper breath and started once again.
"Andy, you and I both know we were only drunk those first few nights. From then on, we were more sober and connected to one another than we have ever been. What we found out about Mom and Dad started all this, I will admit that."
Her attention was total when she said, "But don't you dare say it was all about the booze. You're a better man than that, Andrew Thomas White."
My sister always used my full name when she wanted to nail home an argument between us. I sometimes think she learned it from Mom. The only thing missing was the hands-on-hips gesture when she said it. As for me, I simply didn't have it in me to argue with her. I pointed to the spare room and told her I would make something for us to eat while she unpacked.
"So you're letting me stay?"
"Like I have a choice?"
Her silence made me turn to look at her. The sadness in her eyes almost made me want to apologize. "You gave me a choice once and I took it. Those turned out to be the best months of my life. I want you back, Andy; I want us back."
As I headed for the kitchen, Shauna headed to her room. The next thing I knew, another set of hands were in the kitchen helping me with dinner. We didn't speak; we never had a need for words. We had done this off and on since we were an age that Mom finally let us into the kitchen. It took a year of her watching over us when we picked up sharp knives. When I looked up from chopping, I nearly dropped the knife in my hand. Barefoot was a must for her within the confines of the house, a pair of shorts and a sports bra completed her attire.
Inwardly, I smiled: she hadn't changed. I did my best to ignore what she was wearing. Over dinner, Shauna kept the conversation to our childhood and our folks. We touched on the funeral, but the whole thing was still (even going on close to a year now) too raw in our minds to do more than touch on it. Knowing that my sister would attempt to talk more after dinner, we washed up and I watched her face harden as I wished Shauna good night.
Waking sometime in the middle of the night, I felt as if something about my bedroom had changed. My eyes searched the darkness, yet they revealed nothing. My ears picked up the sounds she made when she slept, and I instantly knew that when I turned, I would be nose to nose with her sleeping on top of the sheets. Being careful not to wake her, I got out, went around to her side of the bed and leaned down next to her sleeping form, lifted her up and close to me. The long drive must have exhausted her; any other time she would have awakened long before I had carried her back to her room.
As I held Shauna to me, she moved into what little space was left between us and a contented moan escaped her lips. I moved slowly and very deliberately to the guest room and placed her back into bed. When her form rested on her bed, she turned and curled into a loose fetal position. Instinct made me kiss the back of her head, and with a shake of my own head and a smile, I turned and went back to my room. I woke up again during the night and once again listened for a moment and tried hard not to smile to myself when, once again, I heard Shauna sleeping on, what had been, the empty half of my bed.
*******
Dad was an investment banker and Mom was the socialite, a match made in promotion- and-society-heaven most would say, but they did actually love each other. Shauna came first, two years into their marriage; I turned up a year later. As soon as we turned the right age, we were both sent to boarding school. We came home for the holidays, and to us, this was our version of normal. Our folks loved us and always kept us busy right up until it was time to return to school.
Shauna took after Mom: a brunette with eyes that left you feeling she knew all your secrets at first glance. It was her smile that always put you at ease while her eyes would dissect you. When we were children, we both knew Shauna could read people. Even before I asked her, she leaned into me one day and promised that she would never do it to me. I wasn't even going to ask her that, yet she looked as if she needed me to know.
It didn't bother me at the time, since I was twelve when she said it. Like I had secrets at twelve. We had each other at school, and to us, that's all that mattered. The only time we both became uneasy was when Shauna left boarding school and started college. The bonus, of course, was that by the time it was my turn she had oriented herself and gave me a rundown at home. Her grasp of who was who and what teacher was the best at any given subject was a fount of knowledge that I tapped into all through the summer holidays.
*******
Something changed about Shauna in her second year. We had only been back at college a few days, following a week's break for holidays. My sister pulled me aside and told me she was going back home, I was stunned; we had only been back at college a handful of days and now she was telling me that our folks insisted that I finish my first year, but she was returning home. We talked, or rather I talked as she packed, and it didn't matter how many times I broached the subject, Shauna didn't give me an explanation why she was heading home less than halfway into her second year. I saw her again when I got back on a short break, but even then, something about her had changed, and that bothered me.
We had almost been joined at the hip all our lives, and yet she was now keeping secrets from me. Then Mom broke the news to me that Shauna was going abroad to study at Oxford University, in England. Of the few occasions I managed to corner her back home, she eased herself out or made some totally crap excuse. I had figured something was up, but not even I saw that sort of attitude coming from her.
The feeling of betrayal from my sister was hard enough, but to be told by Mother, rather than my sister, just added salt to the wound. Mom must have let her know the mood I was in at the news and the fact I heard it from Mom and not her. Shauna kept away from me for a week while I cooled down. She was visiting friends, or so Mom said. I waited until a day before she was due home and returned the favor; a friend and I went hiking. I left my cell in my bedroom. She, no doubt, figured out why really quickly.
When I came back, Dad took me aside and reminded me I was due to start at my new college in five weeks. It was a conversation that saw Dad totally confused. I came to his office and asked to change colleges. He sat me down and asked why, and my reply was quick in coming. I was just didn't want to deal with being asked by Shauna's friends at college when, or even if, she was coming back, since she left so suddenly.
The fact that I could add nothing more to my statement about my sister's thoughts brought a look from my father. He clearly wondered what I wasn't saying. When you add the fact that my grades had dipped for a few weeks while I wondered where the hell my sister was, and on occasions when my feelings of loss over my sister were at its lowest, the defense mechanism in my head even felt like I was about to see her come around the next corner.
Why should it be up to me to explain my sister's actions, when I couldn't grasp the logic of them myself? Rather than let this continue, I wanted out and as far away from all this as geographically possible. Dad just stared at me for a while, and after shrugging his shoulders, he asked where I wanted to go, since I was now the one leading this conversation. At first, he balked, but after an hour in his office, he simply nodded and told me to leave it to him.
Whatever strings he pulled to get me into my new college I will never know, and I doubt Dad would have told me if I tried to ask him. He was my go-to guy through my youth, just as Mom was Shauna's. I knew almost the minute Dad had told Mom by the pain in her eyes. Her lip quivered and she just walked right past me, I had to wonder if she was blaming me for the drama within this family at the moment. She found me out by the pool later that day and I got a hug, but even I would have exchanged that rare closeness for one moment with my mother for an explanation as to why Shauna was behaving like she was.
I left the next day and joined my friend for another week before driving to Western Falls, officially, to get used to the area. Unofficially, to mourn the loss of my best friend and sister. She mailed my cell back to me; I had left it by my bedside. In my anger and total frustration at the situation I found myself in, I busted it up and sent her back the bits. A few days later, UPS delivered a new phone to me.
It was actually ringing in the box as I was signing for it, much to the guy's amusement. As I stood on the porch of the boarding house and opened the box, the door to the car parked across the street opened and my sister walked towards me. We met on the sidewalk and hugged.
"Please don't be angry with me, but we both need to do this, Andy. Mom sat me down and explained it to me. She opened my eyes and I had to agree with her, I love you, Andy, honest to God I do, but we need time apart. We could have had the holidays, Andy, but pride and an overindulgence of stupidity got in our way. I will be back every holiday until they throw us out of college."
With that, my sister simply kissed my cheek, turned and walked back to her car. I watched as it traveled all the way to the end of the street and then turning right, heading back towards the freeway. The feeling of loss made my fingers relax and the box that the phone was in dropped to the floor. A tear or two followed it.
*******
She told me later what had led to the whole distancing, and what she was feeling...
The walk back to the car for Shauna was born of willpower and sadness, she couldn't let her brother see her tears, only holding it together just long enough to get back to the car. As the lights changed and Shauna turned right, she thought back to the conversation that had lit the touch-paper and she felt like she had once again died just a little inside.
Mother had been on edge for most of the day around her daughter. Both she and Andrew were due back to school in a just over a week and now was the perfect opportunity. Dad was in town for a meeting and Andy was visiting friends. Shauna had heard the knock on the door, and instinctively called for her mother to come in. It took Mom a few moments to get to the point, and when she did Shauna's whole world imploded.
Mom had figured it out, only to be confirmed when she studied Shauna's eyes as they followed her brother around the house, or whenever they were in close proximity, be it with her eyes or physically. Shauna had no secrets from her mother, but she sure hid a huge one from her brother. She loved him and not just as a brother. He was regular masturbation material for her, even more so since their return from France.
Shauna would still secretly smile over the memories of the holiday in France, mom and I had been conspiratorial even before we got the plane tickets, we were even worse on the plane over and at the hotel. Our plan came into effect after breakfast the next morning.
After breakfast the second morning, we were on the hotel's private beach. They looked at each other, smiled and took off their wraps. The bikinis were identical, so were the quick release bikini tops that landed on the sun-loungers at the same time. All the men around us just stared. a few of the women did, as well, while Dad and Andrew had to lie face down on the loungers for the next couple of hours. After they got over the original shock, it became the norm for the rest of the holiday.
Both Mom and I sure had limited suntan lines for the three weeks we were there. By the end of our holiday, even the eyes and mind of a hormone-filled nineteen-year-old knew both his mother's and sister's size and breast shape so well that it was more a case of, yes, they have breasts, and the daughter did get many of her characteristics from mother, including almost identically shaped breasts, along with her dark and thick nipples.
With both Mom and Shauna going to the beach and spending the day topless, she had seen how big her brother was through his swim shorts and had soaked her own bikini bottoms more than once. Ever thankful that either the hotel pool or the sea was always nearby, not only did they hide her damp patch, but she was sure that her pheromones were soaked out of her panties and crotch by the salt water or chlorine.
Shauna watched as Mom sat on the edge of her bed; her smile matched Mom's. To Shauna, they were more than mother and daughter. They had reached an area that few mothers and daughters could reach, more so when puberty pulled at both her body and mind. Mom was there for her throughout, forewarning her of what was to come almost days before it happened. Caroline White was as much her big sister as her mother.
"I need to ask you something, I want you to promise me that you will think on your answer before you go on the defensive and waste both our time. Now I know I'm sounding cryptic, but it's the best way I can think of doing this without you going all bitch on me first."
Shauna sat watching in mild amusement at the hesitancy that Mom was showing. It was foreign ground for her mother. The anticipation of what she might say made her wonder if she would freak out, especially remembering some of the close-to-the-bone conversations they've had over the years.
Shauna still had a smile on her lips when she nodded her head. Her face dropped when her mom said, "Have you made love to your brother yet?"
The smile froze to Shauna's lips. Her next breath caught in her throat and her eyes watered. Her mind screamed; she could hear it in her thoughts. The scream of knowing she had been found out, of the disgust her own mother was going to show her if she ever admitted to loving her brother, even if she was fighting daily the need and the wanton lust she had for him, not to mention the almost overwhelming urge to jump on his body and take it further.
"You knew?" Shauna's words were but a whisper.
Caroline's hand came away from her own thigh and came to rest on her daughter's ankle; a reassuring squeeze kept Shauna's own fears at bay, for now.
"I've known for a few weeks; I just want to apologize for not realizing it sooner. I've taught you through the years that you can come to me with any problem that you have, and yet I feel that I've failed you because you just couldn't trust me enough to think I wouldn't understand that you love Andrew."
Shauna's voice still hovered at a whisper when something her mother had said pushed past her panic and rested on her tongue.
"You said made love to him?"
For the first time since this conversation started, Mother's relaxing smile returned and slowly nodded her head. "I know you both too well. You can't have sex with Andrew; you love him too much to do that. No, when you two finally get intimate, you will make love to him, and I assure you, he will do the same, such are the feelings between you two."
The screaming in Shauna's head had subsided for the moment, but her body was still in revolt. No matter how hard she tried, Shauna just couldn't stop her body from shaking, almost as though in fear that her own mother was setting a trap for her.Mom's stare was too much for her and Shauna looked at the hand gently rubbing a palm over her ankle.
The tightness of her chest eased slightly, yet knowing that her confession she was about to make would bring that tightness back, with a vengeance. "Every time I get within three feet of him, all I want to do is throw myself at him and rip his clothes off."
Shauna looked closely at her mother. Her eyelids narrowed slightly as something in the recess of her mind suddenly found a voice and she said, "Us showing them both our boobs was a test wasn't it?" Once the accusation was out there, her eyes rested once again on the bed as she said, "And I failed."
It was the silence that made her look once again at mother, who was shaking her head. "We both learned a great deal from that holiday, young lady. I now know that my son is as well-endowed as his father. I also know what you smell like when you're in heat, and other than a few minor physical traits, you are just as I was at your age."
Caroline's smile grew and the reddened cheeks of her embarrassed daughter took hold.
"I promise I won't tell Andrew. That, my loving daughter, is your job. Your father, though, is a different matter. He needs to know so we can both protect you if it all goes south."
Now caught up in the realization of this conversation and the implications of dad becoming involved, the look of pity and loathing that his own daughter could even think such thoughts suddenly dawned on her and she freaked out. Pulling her legs away from her mother, trying desperately to place as much distance between them as her bed could provide. For the first time in her twenty years of life, she was now desperately afraid of her mother and the fear of her father's disapproval sent her over the edge of despair.
*******
When Shauna's eyes opened, her eyes welcomed a familiar sight: the contours of Mom's chest snug in her bra, and just seen through the white blouse she was wearing, moved up and down with her breathing.
"Do you feel better now?"
The tears once again came back in floods. "Please don't tell Daddy."
A hand appeared, holding a tissue, Shauna took it with thanks and dried her eyes before she blew her nose.
"Andrew phoned while you were out of it. He's staying with his friend tonight, no doubt playing X-box all night. When your father gets back, we sit him down, we talk and I do mean talk, young lady. Do you honestly think your father would ever look on you with anything but love in his eyes?"
Shauna lowered her eyes to the bed and shook her head. "No, Momma. I'm sorry."
The tissues were used in abundance that evening. Truths were shared about the secrets in their daughter's head, the love for her brother, the realization that the holiday in France had now tipped the balance and nothing short of a tsunami was going to stop their daughter's finally admitting to her brother that she was his.
In an effort to stave off the inevitable, her father offered to send his daughter to England. It would keep them apart just long enough for them both to get an education. After seeing the logic in what her folks were saying and a few questions for them both, Shauna agreed.
No matter how she tried, she just couldn't get Andrew to talk to her, to see the value of both having space apart. So many times she wanted to express her love, only to know that he would use that against her and ask her to stay, just as she knew that she would if he ever used it.
*******
With my sister's explanation over, she kissed my cheek and left for England. I wasn't supposed to find out, but while my sister was in England, she rebelled, against us all. Thank God it was only alcohol and not drugs that played the largest part in her rebellion. Mom disappeared for a few weeks, and the fact she remained tight lipped on her return lent some truth to the suspicion that she went to England to sort out her daughter.
Four years and no phone calls, letters or visits later, it was as though she had simply walked off the end of the earth. Mom did keep reminding me I had a sister. It seemed Shauna could write to and phone Mom, but forgot I existed. My sister came back with her new husband; he was a hit amongst Mom's social circle. The English accent was so "quaint," I'm told. Dad set him up in business using some of his contacts, and Shauna and her husband settled down to married life in an apartment in town. The rumors started barely six months later.
Mom was the first of our family to hear them and told Dad. He didn't even ask, just stuck a PI on him and waited a week. As Shauna was reading the PI's report, Mom and Dad were packing her stuff and bringing her back to the house. Dad waited for the Englishman to return to their apartment after a "business" meeting, and handed him a plane ticket home and two black bags with his clothes, since the locks had already been changed on the apartment.
*******
My folks were there for the celebrations at the end of my final year. Shauna looked like she was hiding behind Dad the entire time I watched her. Dad held his daughter's hand right up until they all stood in front of me. Mom grabbed mine and they pushed both our hands together; when I looked at Dad he glared back. I think he had reached his own limit over the supposed stupidity of both his children.
"She's your sister. When she listened to your mom she didn't listen properly; instead she had a bad case of the stupid's. Now it's time for the both of you to get your heads out of your collective asses and get on with life. She is and always will be your sister; it's time for both of you to stop this; mistakes have been made, on all sides. It's time to start afresh, Andrew."
As the tears welled up in her eyes, Shauna just managed to mumble the word sorry before she buried her head into my neck and cried. Our folks went off and mingled while we sat on a bench and made up. The bonds we forged that afternoon became even tighter over the next few weeks. Mom told us that they had booked us into a suite of rooms at a resort hotel for a week, some fifty miles down the highway, so we could both just calm down and tell each other about our lives over the last four years.
They were taking the company jet back and would wire us tickets on a commercial flight in ten days, leaving them at the desk of the hotel, ready for our return.
Their plane went down a few miles outside a town called Sweetwater. Hikers who were out that day said they heard a plane, and all of a sudden, the engine sound changed and they heard a crash. It never made it over the mountain range. There were no survivors. The police found us in the dining room of our hotel.
To us, it felt like our folks gave us both more than just a second chance.
*******
We knew each of the crew had family and wanted them to know that they mattered, to us at least. Shauna and I asked and were welcomed at each of the funerals for the crew, before we buried our folks. Four funerals in the space of two weeks take their toll on you. We held onto each other throughout, even more so when some members of the families looked at us. You could see it in some of their eyes, even when they refused to ask it. Had it not been at the insistence of both Mom and Dad that their children spend time together at a resort and catch up on the years apart, we would have been on that flight home.
Our parents' funeral made the society page. The parasites, more formally known as friends of Mom and Dad, wanted to speak at the church. I refused. When they tried to change my mind, I told them I would make it a closed funeral if they opened their mouths again. Just to push the fact that I meant it, we both talked to the funeral people and they had an alternative plan ready, all they needed was twelve hours' notice.
I stood first and spoke. I had no speech prepared, since I doubted reading it would have been possible, knowing the mental state I was going to be in. Once finished, something made me stand to one side rather than return to my seat. Shauna came and gave her eulogy of our parents while holding onto the podium. She seemed to deflate when she had finished, and I was glad I had remained by the podium. I held her up all the way to her seat; she would have never have made it on her own.
The reading of the will was just as hard. We found out the financial worth of our folks, and that, other than a few charities that both our folks held dear, we were the sole beneficiaries. Among many things, the will stated that both our names were on the deeds to the house and the safety deposit box at the bank. Both of us had to agree before we could sell the house, if that's what we wished. At the time, we both looked at each other and thought that an odd request. Returning to the house, we quickly figured out why.
It felt strange going into our father's study. Unless invited, it was a no-go zone for all the family while we grew up. The wine cellar was the other one. Our folks were collectors of wine; it was perhaps Dad's only vice. Although the lawyers had all the original paperwork, Shauna and I had to still work our way through our father's study. We shredded thousands of documents, mostly from when they married. Our father meticulously kept every letter and receipt. Every topic had its own file, dated by the month with an index at the front. If the IRS ever came knocking, they wouldn't stay long, such was the perfectionist that was our father.
The wall safe in Dad's office gave us our first clue of why we went to boarding school. Our folks had an alternative lifestyle. Shauna pulled a DVD from the safe and we watched Dad video Mom going into the cellar. What we both watched was her lifting one of the bottles and the wine rack slowly and silently sliding apart to reveal a room that made us both gasp. Shauna stopped the DVD, and we both looked at each other. In that unspoken way we had around each other, she put the remote down and stood. I followed her.
We traced our own mother's footsteps and found the playroom behind the wine rack. In the center of the room was the biggest bed either of us had ever seen. It had to have been specially made and built in that room. There was no way that bed could have made it down into the cellar, otherwise.
The floor had the plushest carpet. I watched Shauna as she scrunched her toes into it. Her eyes gave her away long before her face followed. Around the bed, in no particular order, were bean bags of all shapes and sizes, and off to one side was an enormous thing that could only be described as a goldfish bowl over half-full of wrapped condoms. I don't think either of us slept for the next three days as we pored over the DVDs Dad had of Mom and themselves.
Both our folks were swingers. We counted thirty discs of Mom with other men and women, another twenty of them both with those same people, some of whom we recognized, others we didn't know. The thing about watching so much about the people you thought you knew is that you become inured to it all. Add to that the fact we were dipping into the wine from the cellar, and it became a lethal mix. The alcohol took away our ability to stop being voyeurs into our parent's most private part of their lives.
This was our folks we were watching, having sex with other people. It was also about Dad recording our mother, his own wife, with other men and women. At one stage, Shauna got up and left the room. She came back about half an hour later with something in her hand.
"I found three of these in a drawer on Mom's side of the bed."
Her hand opened to reveal a collar, the silver letter C standing proud in the middle of a ribbon of black. Caroline was our mother's name, and when we went back and skipped over a few of those DVD's, we realized that she wore one of these in each of them.
We both left the playroom and went back to our folks' bedroom, pulling drawers open and finding their secrets. In total, we found twelve items that were also in the playroom, so we knew that they didn't restrict their alone time activities just to the playroom. We felt like we were looking at our parents in a whole different light, and that thirst for knowledge became all-consuming with us. I don't think either of us slept for the next three days as we pored over the DVDs Dad had of Mom and themselves.
Adding to that fact, we drank more and more as day turned to night and our own inhibitions lowered to a dangerous level. We should have put it all down and walked away, but we just couldn't. That thirst for knowledge, the times we each pored over dates and events in our own lives, looking for even glimpses of this that we had both missed and our exhausted minds coming up blank. We were totally devoid of answers to the questions that screamed from our souls.
*******
Our own need to understand why our parents would do this to each other fed on itself. Other than Shauna, Mom was the strongest woman I knew, and yet we watched Dad film his own wife with two other women. At the end of an hour, both women were exhausted as our own mother just glowed and seemed to look around the room for more. The smile never seemed to leave mother's face throughout those events. Yet both her son and daughter looked on via a DVD of that event, and wondered if she was a nymphomaniac.
The man we called Father: a man who doted on his family, yet he recorded via hand-held and other cameras his own wife having sex with other men and woman. This was a couple who walked down many a street hand in hand, kissed in public and ignored us telling them to get a room. How could this same man watch his own wife become airtight with the three men standing around her as he himself took on the wives of those same men?
"What does this do?"
When I looked over to my sister and saw what she has in her hands, I tried to frame my answer as best I could. It also reinforced my belief that Shauna was an ass virgin. The butt plug in her hand was foreign to her, and she sure took a really close look when I told her its name and what its purpose was. The stunned look on my sister's face was quickly canceled out when she finished her glass of wine and reached for the bottle to fill it once again.
"That's got to hurt like a bitch."
"Judging by the look on Mom's face I would say differently, but I'm not the one with one of those up my ass."
The courage of our own stupidity and the help of alcohol that lowered her inhibitions continued that night as more wine simply accelerated both our downwards spirals. The wine would disappear from one bottle, and we would move onto the next.
Shauna's brow creased when I finished telling her how it was supposed to work and the effect it was supposed to have on her body, since the one in her hand clearly came with a remote control.
As my sister stared at me, the pause became longer, but eventually she asked, "How do you know all this stuff?"
The shrug of my shoulders came first, as I realized I had outed myself; I might as well be honest about it.
"My roommate at college, he liked watching porn when he was between girlfriends. He had one heck of collection, from couples to multiple partners and even the odd BDSM movie that amused him." With a shrug of my shoulders, I even admitted, "And they amused me, as well."
Shauna just looked at me and giggled. She would have known that I would have been right alongside my friend watching those DVD's, that was for sure. He was also very free with his magazine collection, as well, something I perused on the occasions when my study work all seemed to blur into one sentence.
Looking at the plug again, I think I put into words what we were both thinking. "It seems our mother liked a little pain with her sex, occasionally.
"Show me how it works."
Even when I looked at my sister, it was clear her own curiosity had gotten the better of her. The only way I figured she would back down was to call her bluff. After all, not even she could mean what she was saying at the moment.
So I shrugged and said, "Okay, take your blouse and bra off."
My sister tossed the plug up into the air and let it land in the palm of her hand, and then the lights came on, a grin touched her lips and those eyes of hers became very much alive. "If this goes in my ass, how come I'm showing you my tits?"
I took another sip of my drink, mostly to ask myself that very question. It was then I lost the ability to speak as I watched my own sister drop her blouse on the floor; her bra following seconds later. She didn't even see me stare because she had once again picked up the butt plug, before handing it to me while she finished undressing. I had seen both Mom and my sister topless when we took our family vacation in France.
Dad and I suspected something was going on, because the girls were very in cahoots with each other on the plane over to France and again in the hotel. Although neither of us suspected what the next three weeks of our holiday would be like. It sure was hard work trying not to talk to the chest of each of them when we talked to Mom and Shauna.
*******
Shauna looked at me, expecting me to demonstrate the plug's use. My sister stood in front of me naked, and I just stared at her totally naked form. Her breasts were a known factor; the shaved pussy was a new commodity and she just stared right back at me. That voice in my head was shouting that I needed to stop this, that this was my sister I was about to inflict this on, and yet another mouth full of wine assisted that same voice's demise.
Its death was complete when I put my glass down and turned to see Shauna kick her panties over to the rest of her clothes, climb onto the couch in our folk's room and press her tits against the back-rest of the couch. I was rooted to the spot, looking at the most beautiful sight known to man. That ass of hers would fail any description other than the word, perfect.
When I looked in the drawer, the lube sat right next to the four vibrators of various sizes. Shauna and I had watched Dad use all of these on Mom in some of the DVDs we had already watched, and in that unguarded alcohol-induced moment, I did wonder if Shauna could make the same noises. The sane part of my mind should have stopped us both right then, but the wine and just looking at my sister leaning against the back of the couch waiting to experiment with Mom's toys sank the last vestige of hope either of us had of coming away from this unaffected.
For some reason I gave her ass a slap. My sister giggled and looked at me. "Andy, why?"
"Why what?"
"Why didn't they think to include us in all this?"
Instinctively I shuddered. I didn't have an answer. "I can only guess, and second-guessing Dads and Mom's minds at the best of times has been a challenge for us both throughout our lives, Shauna."
For some reason, she looked at her hands and then nodded.
"I'm twenty-three, Andy, you're almost twenty..."
Where she was going to go with that conversation stopped when she suddenly drew breath as the lube hit her rose; she tried to watch but couldn't get a good look. The frustration started to mount within her, the creasing of her eyebrows simply confirmed my thoughts.
"You want to watch?"
The flush of her cheeks gave away her answer just as her eyes did when she pulled them away from her ass and looked at me before nodding.
"Well it's going to be uncomfortable, but I will be as quick as I can."
With my hand held out towards her she got the message and held on tight. I pulled her up onto her feet, we both walked to the bed and I made her lie on it. Her legs rested on my shoulders and my hand went to her ass, lifting her when I could and placing a pillow under her. She automatically went onto her elbows, her eyes now mesmerized at looking so closely at her most intimate parts.
"Andy."
I looked at her."Put my legs down and get your clothes off."
It was my turn to look uncomfortable. "Shauna?"
Her eyes became dangerous slits; her voice took on a threatening tone that I had never heard from my sister in all my years. "I don't care if you're sporting a boner. I'm naked, so get your fucking clothes off."
I took another drink first, she glared, thinking I was dragging the whole thing out. It was more a case of Dutch courage on my part. With my clothes now a heap on the floor, I turned, got back on the bed and stopped dead in my tracks. Shauna had taken my moving as an opportunity to lean over into Mom's drawer and pull out one of her collars. It was already around her neck.
"Shauna, we need to stop and you most definitely need to take that thing off."
Shaking her head was quickly followed by her saying. "I've worked it out. Andy. Mom wasn't a slave and this isn't a collar, it's how mom reconciled in her mind the things she did. When she was wearing this, she was the adventurous woman we have spent the last week watching. Take it off and she's our mom."
She then pointed to the lower half of her body, her legs parted and just kept right on going. Her pussy lips moved apart with her legs, and my dick was more solid than I have ever been, more so when she said, "Come on, Andy, you have a job you promised to do."
As I moved towards my sister, she leaned over and took another drink from her glass. The two girlfriends at college who had allowed me to do this for them mentally got my deepest thanks that evening. My hands delved into the jar and my fingers worked her rose. The quick intake of breath that followed made me pause and look into her eyes. Those same eyes that knew everything just seemed to stare back at me with a hunger and an uncomfortable amount of lust. This was new territory for us both; I had my hands on my sister's ass, her naked ass.
Those same hands where just as close to that gaping pussy of hers as well. My fingers felt the heat generated within that small confined space as I continued to work on her ass. I was also using the biggest mental stick I could find to beat back the pornographic thoughts every fiber of my being was having about what it wanted to do to that pussy, let alone her ass.
Shauna looked down at my hands and back up at me, a slight nod of acceptance that my hands were on her was all I got in return. Goosebumps formed across her chest causing her nipples to tighten. She followed my fingers as I journeyed to her beautiful ass. The alcohol level helped her relax, and in turn, her crinkled rose opened to my fingers entering her anus, one at a time. Once I judged that she was open enough, my hand picked up the plug and also transferred more of the lubricant from my hands onto the plug.
I looked at her, waited until she could tear her eyes away from what I was doing and said, "Breathe in."
She nodded once, and did so ever so slowly. As her lungs filled, I pushed the plug into her; the deer in headlights look was sure new to her. She started to fidget, her mind may have wanted this, but her body was still new to the experience and started to rebel. If she was going to do this, and this was Shauna, if she didn't do it now, she would come back to it until she had achieved her goal, and that seemed to be wanting to know what our mother felt. She needed those sensations, in a sense. It was Shana's roundabout way of getting inside Mother's head.
Her ass tightened and the plug stopped about halfway in, I did something out of instinct. One of my girlfriends had told me this might happen to her body if she wasn't totally in the zone, so I did what I was asked to do for my then-girlfriend. One hand held onto the plug while the other reached over, and placing her nipple between finger and thumb, I twisted and pulled it towards me a little.
She hissed and looked at her nipple, and then me. Once the shock wore off, she giggled.
That came to an abrupt end when I twisted again and pushed the remaining part of the plug into her. Shauna opened her mouth to speak and a gasp escaped her lips, turning her original statement into a garbled mess. My thumb and finger went to her other nipple, teasing it until it was just a proud as the first.
Shauna seemed to be trying to watch everything happening to her all at once; her nipples stood, just so proud of her body. The plug had sunk to a depth that her crinkled rose closed around it, locking it inside her. Her butt cheeks clenched a couple of times. It reinforced in her mind that the plug wasn't going to fall out. I moved back, grasped her ankles and gently placed her legs back onto the bed.
I heard the sigh of relief from my position on the bed. My sister then laid straight again. The pressure on her back must have been excruciating, yet to her it was something she needed to do. When her attention was again on me, she noticed a little remote in my hand. Her brow once again creased, only this time in confusion. I pushed a button on the remote, Shauna grabbed my arm, her own fingers digging deep into me. She pulled air into her lungs as a slow groan came from her in return, her eyes fluttered and that smile came back to her
"Fuck, that's weird, in a tingling sort of way. So what happens next?"
My first instinct was to go easy on her, but then again, this was my sister, and if Shauna figured that out, I would have a one-woman riot on my hands. My thumb went to the other extreme and I set it on high. Shauna gritted her teeth and let out another slow moan then thrashed around the bed for a moment. Her hands instinctively went between her legs as they, too, clamped shut, before rolling over on the bed and ending up on all fours panting and then moaned once again.
The sight before me was everything that I had imagined. As reluctant as I was to admit this with my dying breath, my sister's body was built for sex. She might even be smarter than me, but when she groaned and orgasmed with the plug in her ass, my cock was harder than a steel bar. As I stared at her I knew, as a man I wanted her; the brother in me was still screaming that I was born to protect her, not to take advantage of her.
The man in me won out and as my hands caressed her hips, Shauna rolled onto her back and instinctively tried to lift her ass slightly to allow me more access to her. The groan from the woman beneath me let me know she was also fighting with the butt plug, as her hands had now moved away from her body and her fingers clenched the sheets.
My own mind screamed at me that I would be damned forever if I did this. My heart told me that although the words had not left our lips, we both desperately needed this. Shauna was just as headstrong as I was, and who knows what would happen to her if I stopped now. The tip of my cock touched her soaked pussy lips and her whole body instantly paused. Even my sister's breathing became shallow, to the point that she refused to pull another lung full of air into her body until I did something: anything, as long as it also included pushing my cock deep into her.
As my sanity wrestled with my soul, my cock slowly entered my sister and her breathing passed her lips in the shape of a loud guttural moan. I was inside Shauna. That voice in my head tried to scream 'sister,' but I ignored it. My eyes focused on the woman on her back and in front of me with my dick in her. As skin finally touched skin, that grunt from her lips acknowledged that fact.
Even as I continued to thrust in and out of her, my own and her grunts grew louder by the thrust, my thoughts turned to a conversation we hadn't had yet, but should have before we had even got this far: birth control. Pulling the butt plug out of her and replacing it with my cock made Shauna scream. I only lasted four more thrusts into that tight ass of hers before I exploded into it. Her whole body just slumped, and that's when the express train of emotions hit me.
The brother in me came to the fore, and with a vengeance. I had pulled my own sister into this. I was going to hell and dragging my own sister along for the ride. What sort of monster was I? Her orgasm-ravaged body left the bed and her arms wrapped themselves around me and wouldn't let go as she mumbled words into my neck.
Getting no response, her head moved from my neck to look at me.
"Oh, Andy, that was wonderful."
She must have read the look on my face, her radiance still beamed back at me.
"At the beginning, I felt... overwhelmed and also unsure, Andrew, and yet I loved every second."
Her face broke into the biggest smile I'd seen on her in all my years. Even the reddening of her cheeks gave her away, "I've never done anal, but I loved it. That's staying on the menu from now on."
For a moment Shauna looked like she was staring at my shoulder, then her eyebrows rose and it was almost like the light went on in her head and her smile quickly grew to confirm the thoughts rushing through her at the moment.
"I finally understand Mom a lot better now, Andy."
She placed her hand on my cheek to emphasize her next point, "She loved Daddy oh so much." The pause was but a moment, as even she came to the same conclusion, "I love you, Andrew Thomas White and I loved what you did."
Finally, when both of us came up for air, even I had to admit she looked radiant.
"Even when you went all caveman on me, I wasn't afraid. You can't hurt me, Andy, I felt what Mom felt and nothing you can do can hurt me because I trust you enough not to. I understand Mom now, it all makes sense, Andrew, how could Mom allow Dad to do what he did to her? Trust, trust on a monumental scale."
Shauna lifted herself off the bed and quickly noticed the rather large damp patch. She went slightly red and looked up at me. I saw it. It was just a second, but she actually thought about breaking her promise and reading me. With a shy smile she tilted her head towards the puddle of cum on the bed.
"We did that, Andy."
Shauna stayed next to me a moment longer, her eyes still on the stained sheets, while her hand roamed across my body, the sweat across her forehead, her hair a tangled mess and the biggest smile I had seen on her in many a year. My hand then reached across to grab her drink from the small table by her side of the bed. It was seeing the glow my sister now had about her that made me alert, her next words screamed caution at me.
"So, now I know what that does, what's next?"
This time she watched me shake my head and another sip of wine gave her a moment's pause. At any time she could have come back from the precipice she was hovering over.
"No, Shauna, you don't play with this stuff. We've seen it on all those videos, it's a lifestyle."
At least she paused, although the look she gave me told me this wasn't over.
"Mom was the strongest woman I knew, Andy. She was my role model, confidante when my marriage went to shit and best friend all in one. Now, I've spent hours watching her get fucked by loads of men and women and our own father not that far behind her."
With some effort, she got off the bed and walked around it and towards me. Shauna stood naked in front of me, ignoring the fact that I still had a raging hard-on for my own sister. She took another sip from the wine from the glass still in her hand.
"I need to know why, Andy. I'm going to go insane if I don't, and that's a fact. Teach me what all this does. Let me feel what Mom felt so I can understand better, because at the moment, I'm starting to think that it was because of me that Robert cheated. Was I just too "Plain Jane" for him?"
Even a glance at Shauna told me so much. She was living her own private hell and I was simply so wrapped up in being cautious that I simply hadn't noticed. Finding out so much about our folks' private lives made me lose sight of the fact that my own sister was standing next to me all along. We hadn't talked about any of this, and that was wrong. Truly, it was a mistake that needed to be rectified. Yet, as I looked at her, it was obvious to see that she would brook no part of a conversation on this until I stepped up to the plate and helped her.
Her own internal struggle was self-evident. All I had to do was look at the sister I knew, not the one who stood by my side and watched our folks for hours on a TV screen, exposing to us their most private of lives together.
The fact remained that Shauna asked me to make her understand. Yet how could I do that when my own mind was still coming to terms with what they had done, and also kept from us all our lives? I also knew my sister. If I refused, with what she had seen on so many DVDs, she would seek answers somewhere else and that could be dangerous. My shoulders instinctively shrugged at her request and I wondered why. My mind screamed that I needed to distance myself from this naked wonder and think very hard on this situation.
Picking up my clothes and telling my sister that I needed clean ones, I made it out of our folks' room with a little dignity. My own mind was a mess, even detached from Shauna. I sat in my room looking at walls as the realization of what I had done to my own sister slammed itself to the forefront of my mind. I had effectively... The actions played like a loop in my mind. The small part of my mind holding onto my sanity refused to acknowledge the fact that I had forced myself upon her. With the death of our folks I took my sister, the one person now in my life I should be protecting and I...
That word refused to enter my thoughts, no matter how I tried to bring it to form. If ever I needed a drink, now would have been that time. As my heart called for peace and as sanity returned to me, I suddenly put form to the noises coming from the open door of my room: singing. With my curiosity piqued, I stood and followed a sound I hadn't heard from my sister for so long.
Now I found myself leaning against the doorframe of our parents' room. Shauna was singing while she slid a t-shirt onto herself and then pulled sheets off the bed. I hadn't heard my sister sing since the day before Mom and Dad handed her proof that the Englishman was cheating on her.
*******
I loved my sister with every fiber of my being, at least with me here next to her, when she came out of this, I would be there to help her. We had talked about the DVD collection that our folks had, and I reminded Shauna that they had been married for so long, hence the amount in their collection. Yet as we worked our way through their life's history of swapping, girl-on-girl and an interesting number of orgies, they had clearly made a point of keeping their alone time very private, and most definitely away from us.
My only hope was that she would let me guide her, to be her sounding board as every set of handcuffs, the multitude of vibrators and varying sizes of butt plugs would be given a workout. After all, when is it ever the right time to tell the sister that you love, that you REALLY love them? Well let's just say that I would have to wonder if my own heart could take it, because it could end up with her hating me.
"If I teach you, Shauna, we do this by my rules; do you understand that?"
Her eyes shone; the smile backed up her happiness that I agreed to help her. She quickly nodded her head. My eyes wandered to the scene of our intimacy, my mind still refusing to call it what it was we had done not minutes ago, and I leant over to pick up what I was looking for. Shauna watched my hand as though transfixed, her flush of her cheeks made me wonder if she was having second thoughts. At that moment in time, I truly hoped she would.
"Turn your back to me."
She placed her wine glass on the little table again. Her eyes misted up before her face went to stone and she turned her back to me, taking a step back when she did. Her voice may have been towards the far wall but every word was meant for me.
"We have both watched every disk now, not once was Mom ever dressed when she wore this. She made herself available to Dad and anyone else he gave her to. Just like she never denied him, I swear, Andy, I won't deny you."
I had watched as much as she had, yet what I hadn't pointed out to my sister was that we had watched years of trust grow between them in the space of a few days. Even as I placed Mom's collar on Shauna and adjusted it to fit, her frame shook when I had finished. It sounded like my sister had stifled a sob.
When I rested my hand on her shoulder she jumped, recovered really quickly and stood straight.
"Shauna, are you REALLY sure you want this?"
The pause was but a moment, but she nodded once and quickly pulled air into her lungs.
"Then go to bed, drink a glass of water before you sleep. Don't set your alarm and turn your cell off."
She spun around to look at me, I simply continued as though I hadn't noticed.
"Only when you have no alcohol in your system will I ask you one more time. Sleep on this, Shauna, and even when you wake I need you to sit down and look at yourself in the mirror when you think long and hard about this. Please think about this like you have never thought on any other question. If you still want this, then we will continue."
Shauna went to say something. Thankfully, I got there first.
"And if you open your mouth and speak, then we will delay for another day. I have to keep saying this, Shauna. Forget the fact that those people we have watched for the last few days are our parents. The level of trust that Dad would never harm Mom or place her in any danger while they participated in that lifestyle would have come about over the years. Just know, sister of mine, that we have to take smaller steps than they did."
The smile came first, and for perhaps the first time in her life, she didn't remind me that I was in fact younger than she was. The nod of her head was enough. She went to leave, but couldn't help herself. Shauna launched herself at me and clung to me holding her semi-naked body crushed against me ever so tightly. If she noticed the boner that wouldn't go down around her was now pressed against her womb region, she thankfully didn't mention it, although I thought I heard another sob.
"Thank you, Andrew, I love you baby, honest to God I do."
When she let go, her eyes were towards the carpet; she didn't see me blush. The last I saw of her that evening was the bottom part of that tight ass of hers walking out of our parent's bedroom. I poured what was left in the wine bottle down the kitchen sink and washed both our glasses. The problem my mind had was the one question that sought an answer, the wine racks helped hide Mom and Dad's play room, so how was I going to keep Shauna sober through all this?
*******
The next morning, my sister found me downstairs in our folks' play room. I was checking things in drawers and working out in what order I could use them without damaging or scaring her too much. My mind was still a million miles away. The words "what if" seemed to be on a loop in my head as those same thoughts worked through every scenario that had been played out through a television screen, courtesy of our parents and their lifestyle.
Turning towards the noise I thought I had heard, I saw my sister standing by the doorway facing me. I'm not sure why, but Shauna was naked. Being so, highlighted the collar she wore. She smiled when she watched me walk over to one of the beanbags. I pointed to the one she might want to sit on and we met in the middle. She still kept her gaze on the huge bed and the play room floor, as though it was a new playground and she couldn't wait to be in it.
"How's your head this morning?" I asked.
It took her a moment before she tore her eyes from what must be the object of her desires and looked at me before saying, "Not as bad as I thought, the water suggestion helped." Her cheeks went a slight pink when she made the rest of her confession. "Well, the water and Tylenol, of course."
This time she looked me up and down
"Andy, when I woke, I couldn't wait to get down here again. I did as you asked and I promise to remain sober for as long as we do this."
Her smile dropped from her lips and her eyes sought and focused on mine. It was decision time, for both of us. I held off asking her for a moment, my silent prayer that she would come to her senses was still out there.
"You promised to help me Andy, and I understood your condition." Her focus was fully on me when she said. "But I want you naked as well, Andy."
When I went to protest, she used the one thing she was always good at, logic. Shauna reminded me that since the news of the plane crash, and throughout the flight crew's funerals, we had never been closer. Since this next phase of her life required her to be naked, she needed the man she trusted more than life itself to be right there next to her, and naked as well.
"Don't worry about the boner, Andy. In fact, I would be more insulted if I didn't see one."
I suppose I could see where she was coming from, and it wasn't as if this would be the first time she had seen me naked; second maybe, but I understood what she meant. It was as my arms were pulling my t-shirt over my head that my sister spoke again.
"It's something I've got to do, Andy. I loved Mom so much, but I have to know, to truly know why. I've thought long and hard on this, and since neither are here to explain all this then I have to tread the path they took, to feel what she felt, to place so much trust in one man. For me, that's you, Andy. I never heard Mom use a safe word, so we both know that this wasn't a collar in a slave sense."
Her hand sought mine and held on tight as she looked me directly in the eyes, almost challenging me to prove her wrong.
Then she said. "In every DVD we have watched, not once did either look on the other as slave and master. This had nothing to do with BDSM; Mom was a willing partner, just as Dad was, just as I'm no-one's slave. BUT, I do want you to understand when I say, this body is yours and the laws of this land mean nothing while I wear this."
My sister used the back of her hand to finally wipe away her tears; she looked so intense as she fought over her last words. My tee had hit the floor and my shorts parked themselves right next to it. Her hand came and rested on mine. Shauna needed to emphasize her last words before she followed the same journey our mother had taken.
"Please understand what I just told you, Andrew."
Effectively I had been given a free pass at my own sister. As we both watched each other, I felt her hand wrap around my erection and gently hold onto it. Her hand never moved and for such a long time our eyes never gave each other anything but the love we had always had for each other.
I watched her jaw tighten, the stare as she looked once again around our folks' playroom; it hadn't changed. She nodded once, her hand came away from her thigh and touched the collar for a moment before her hand went back to her thigh; she looked directly at me. Her eyes held so much moisture and her smile held so much mischief. I held her hand and she reluctantly let go of my erection as we closed down our parents' hidden room and went back upstairs.
The anticipation was difficult for Shauna. Her reluctance to let go of my hard-on clearly proved this, but my rule still stood. I wanted my sister stone-cold sober before we even thought of going further. We held each other tightly on the couch when we relaxed during the day and that night; she insisted on us being naked and, judging by the hands-on hips gesture, I suspected it would be easier to agree with her.
*******
The next morning, Shauna helped me finish my inventory. She did so in silence. I hadn't asked her to and wasn't even expecting it. In my mind I was already sorting out rules. We couldn't blindly follow the path our parents traveled. They had been in this lifestyle for years, if the DVDs were anything to go by.
I sent my sister to the kitchen to cook us lunch while I went into Dad's den and checked my e-mails. Already a few tentative approaches from companies, I would have to work my way through those tomorrow.
My sister was waiting for me when I came out of the office. She fidgeted for a moment, and asked if we could sit and talk. The word yes had barely passed my lips when she turned down lunch and made herself comfortable on the couch. I followed and sat next to her. It was still difficult for me to maintain eye contact with her. A naked sister was sure a distraction: a perfectly formed Madonna, but still a distraction.
Shauna waited while I adjusted my position so I could look directly at her. She fidgeted for a moment and then looked at me.
"You cannot make me pregnant, Andrew, unless you wish it, that is. I have injections rather than the Pill, not only as my form of birth control, but to regulate my period."
I nodded my head in acknowledgment and realized just how open this conversation was going to be. She nodded her head alongside mine and then licked her lips before she pulled her lips together while she thought on what else to say.
"Please, Andrew, does this body in its form please you? When we watched the DVDs, we both noticed that Mom had no hair from the neck down. Do want me that way as well?"
Even as my eyes traveled down her body, I could see her legs slowly part to expose her intimate parts and the landing strip on her pubic bone.
"Before, I would grow it out over the winter and cut it back to fit a bathing suit over the summer. This body is yours now, so I guess what I'm asking, since technically this body belongs to you now, is some form of direction."
Her eyes watched me as I processed what she had said.
"What else?"
Shauna noticed that I hadn't answered her original questions. As often as her eyes went to my chest they moved back again; she was clearly in conflict with herself. The moisture came first and then a tear trickled down her cheek before one of her hands left her thigh and her fingertips gently touched my cheek.
"I know the fight that's going on in your head, Andrew, and I don't even have to read you to know this. I love you, baby brother. Honest to God, I do. Please, Andy, you promised. I have to do this and you promised you would help me."
Even as my hand went to hers, she stared back, waiting. I pulled her hand away from my cheek, held it close and kissed her palm before letting go and her hand once again rested on her thigh. With a deep breath, I did what I said I would do.
"From tomorrow you will shave it all off. Any bathing suit you have will be thrown away and bikinis will replace them unless I tell you to go either topless or nude. You will shave every other day in your own time, not mine. So I ask again, what else?"
The flush around her neck crept perilously close to her cheeks, she just couldn't hide the smile that came with it.
"Yes, Andrew."
She paused once more before she continued with this conversation.
"I'm due another implant in six weeks. I suspect this isn't a conversation you want to have, but Mom isn't here anymore, Andy. Neither is that halfwit of an ex-husband, so I need to lean on you as well as my doctor at my next appointment."
"Has this implant you have ever given you any problems since you have been on it?"
Shauna shook her head before she chose to reply.
"I seem to be one of a small percentage who have had difficulty with the Pill. Mom came with me when the doctor and I talked about birth control, and she suggested it. I've been on the implant on the advice of Mom and the doctor, and haven't looked back."
I felt a bit queasy right about then. With us guys there always seems to be a thing about knowing too many details about the woman in front of you, and right about then was mine. It was my own fault. I had asked the question earlier and she felt she had to answer it as honestly as possible.
"Then, since your body is comfortable with the implant, continue with them."
Again, Shauna nodded her head in response to my statement. Her next question seemed to be the one holding onto her voice and refusing to give it sound. This time, I answered her question before my own sister had the ability to ask it.
"You will sleep with me tonight; tomorrow we have a job to do. Our parents are dead. They gave us this house, but we still think they are both going to walk into it at any minute. Tomorrow's task is going to be the saddest for us both. There are boxes and bags in the garage. I will bring them in and tomorrow we will remove all the clothes in our folks' closet. When that is done, we will then move our stuff in and the boxes will go back into the garage for now."
We knew that those boxes wouldn't be in the garage for long. What the charity people could use, they were welcome to. Shauna mouthed a thank you. The days blended into weeks and had now tipped into months since their deaths, and yet we still struggled with that thought.
We had to find a way to move on. We loved our mom and dad so much; even learning of their lifestyle didn't change that. I was hoping that moving us both into the master bedroom and calling it ours would ease the pain and help us turn a page in our lives, so we could start a new chapter.
*******
The next morning came with a certain amount of anxiety and anticipation. This task had to be done by brother and sister. Before we entered the bedroom, I held out my hand and placed it onto my sister's shoulder to stop her, the realization coming to me just in time.
"Shauna, I think it best if you go back to your room and put on a t-shirt and shorts. When you've done that, you need to place your collar on the cabinet next to your bed. I will wait for you here."
Thankfully, it dawned on her as well and she nodded her head as she moved back along the corridor to her own room, coming out a few minutes later with her hand feeling around her neck for her collar and me wondering if she felt naked without it on.
It took us a few days to finally make the main bedroom our own. The emotional drain on us meant we had to stop on more than one occasion and just walk away, be it for a coffee break or to close the door entirely and go back the next day. So many memories lay hidden in that room like booby traps aimed directly at our hearts. Small innocent things, like a photo here or a piece of jewelry there, the tux that Dad wore when we as a family celebrated Shauna's eighteenth at the country club.
Or the dress Mom wore at the country club for my own eighteenth when I stood before her and asked her to dance. The box of tissues got handed back and forth over those days. It was Shauna who found what was an innocent piece of jewelry yet would serve a purpose I had been thinking about for a day or so now, more so when I looked and noticed that before we started on our folks room, my sister wanted to wear that collar all the time.
Easy enough in the house, but it would raise questions neither of us wanted to answer outside the house. It was an ankle bracelet, not a decorative piece. This was a sturdy piece of jewelry made for a purpose, and with style also in mind. Shauna was in the process of putting it into the jewelry box when I spotted it.
"Did you ever see Mom wear that?"
My sister looked closely at it, thought for a moment, and then said no.
"I did, once. Mom was wearing it the day we both went on that camping weekend with the Fitzpatrick's. I thought it odd since it wasn't anything fancy. Just a sturdy looking ankle bracelet. I think mom found a way to control herself when they were outside and couldn't wear her collar."
Suddenly the lights came on in my sister's eyes. "The pants suits, yes of course."
Seeing my confusion, she continued.
"Mom had the most impressive legs and I envied the hell out of her. Have you noticed that a lot of her clothes highlight parts of her body? Let's face it, Andy, Mom had the best-looking legs, ass and tits on any woman we know. I could never figure out the reason she would want to hide her legs in pants suits; it was to hide the ankle bracelet."
Shauna moved the bracelet from hand to hand and then the lights seemed to come on and she looked at me with a mixture of excitement and trepidation.
"Keep the bracelet. When we go shopping or whatever outside the house, then perhaps you can try it out and see if you're comfortable wearing it like she did. You will never wear pants suits and, should you be asked about it, then you or I will explain that it is your memento from Mom."
With a nod of her head, my sister placed the bracelet in the pocket of her shorts and we once again set about the task of making this room our own. When one was full, I moved it down to the garage as Shauna moved her clothes or other items into our folks' bedroom. Then we would work on the next box.
By the time we had done a few boxes and bags, the sun had given up its warmth and all but lost its light as it descended behind the hills just beyond the city limits. We settled on pizza and Shauna had a shower while I went and got it. When I got back, she was wrapped in a bathrobe. I looked twice but made no comment about it. I seemed to be going through so many changes with my sister, either she was totally naked, or when I got used to that, she put clothes on.
As we tucked into pizza, I shared my thoughts with my sister that I had on the way to pick up our evening meal and some of the conclusions I came to on the drive back.
"I don't know about you, but I'm not ready to call our folks' room our own just yet. We need to go shopping tomorrow, so make a note of things like curtains and whatever is required for changing the bed. Mom and Dad had some strange ideas of colors for a bedroom and I can't get used to it."
Shauna nodded her head before saying, "I was thinking the same thing. We only have your clothes to be moved into the other half of the wardrobe after that, as well."
We talked about colors and styles for a while, but it didn't take long for my sister to figure out I was our father in disguise and had no sense of color coordination at all. Shauna followed me into my room since we had been sleeping together for a while now. It was only my clothes that were in this room. Her own room was slowly being dismantled with her clothes and personal items being removed piece by piece to end up in our parents' room anyway.
We both knew it would only be a matter of hours, not days now, before we would stop referring to it as our folks' room. It was as she shed her robe that I noticed that she had made good use of her time in the shower; the landing strip of pubic hair was now gone. After a quick shower, I joined her as she sat up in bed. Her naked form was so familiar to me, yet I still went from soft to firm before I made a conscious effort to keep junior down.
*******
Once dressed, we both decided that breakfast at the mall and then shopping would break the back of the chores we had for the day. As the list of items on Shauna's pad got crossed off and when the bulk of stuff became too much to carry, I would head back to the car, I would load it all in the trunk and meet up again at another store. I also had an ulterior motive for letting my sister know what shops I would meet her at, and it was only when we stopped for coffee outside the last shop that I held Shauna's hand.
The quizzical look was priceless. The color change around her neck as I placed the ankle chain in her hand and told her to put it on was well worth the wait. The look in her eyes as she sat back up again let me know that the adventurous part of her was staring back at me. It was time to set her another challenge.
"The shop behind you is the last on our list of shops. Let's go."
She gave a slight gasp as she stood and turned to see that the shop behind her sold swimwear. Shauna followed as I wandered around the shop totally ignoring the one-piece suits and spending a great deal of time looking at the bikini line. Over the next half an hour, she tried on four that I liked. One I discarded as just not her when she came out and gave me a show. It was when I handed her the last one, she knew I was serious. With the bottoms in her hand, she waited for me to hand her the top, I held onto it.
"When you show me what the bottoms are like on you, I will decide if the top is worth putting on."
That redness climbed her neck and enveloped her cheeks. She looked once more at what she had in her hand and the other half I held in mine before she nodded once. The words "Okay, just remember you asked me to," were barely a whisper as she turned and went back into the changing room.
Considering she only had to remove one bikini and replace it with the bottom half of another, she sure took her time doing both. Her hand held the curtain for some time and I used those moments to do a quick check around the store. With it now being the middle of the afternoon, the office/work crowd were gone, moms were gearing up to head for schools, so that left those few who were career non-workers that were exiting the shop and from my quick scan of the shop, the last of those was already at the till and being handed her purchase before heading out the door.
Although my sister couldn't see it from her position in the changing room, now would be the perfect time to turn things up since the only people now in the shop were the two of us and the shop assistant who had pointed us to this end of the shop when I asked where the bikinis were kept.
Shauna pulled the curtain back and walked out to stand ing front of me topless. Her nipples betrayed the look of fear she had. Her own body was enjoying this a heck of a lot more than she was. I motioned her to turn so I could see the back, just as I watched the store girl start to walk over.
As Shauna finished her turn, I handed her the top and she was in her bikini by the time the store girl got to us.
"Excuse me, sir, we do have security cameras recording in this store and I understand we only sell swimwear, but please keep it decent. Your girlfriend has a hot body, by the way, but the store policy does clearly state..." By this time, she was pointing at the notice by the curtain and one inside the changing room. "Is that all women are covered when they come out of the changing rooms."
Shauna was crimson by now but stood still while the store girl and I talked around her.
"Thank you, but I'm trying to decide if the bottoms are complimenting her ass or hiding it."
This time Cathy - the name on the badge she wore - looked my sister up and down, then went behind her to look more closely at Shauna's ass.
"Ma'am are you okay with me touching you?"
I nodded at Shauna and she in turn said yes. Her voice seemed strained and I found myself having to hide my smile.
Cathy's hand went onto my sister's shoulder and she did something behind her causing her eyes to widen in surprise, the crimson color returned with a vengeance.
"Yes, I see your point. Let me get another bikini. I think we can sort that out, what color by the way?"
We settled on the same or as close to the same color she already had on. As Cathy started to walk past, she glanced down and noticed the wet patch on the bikini bottoms Shauna was still wearing.
"You do understand that your girlfriend has soiled those, so you will have to pay for them?"
I held out the three sets I already had, so another set didn't bother me in the least. Cathy shrugged and came back within minutes and handed my sister another bikini. Shauna thanked her and walked back into the changing cubical.
She took another breath. "I'm sorry for your loss." My look of surprise was genuine just as I knew her words were. "I read about it in the paper and was saddened to hear how it happened."
"You should check your late mom's closet. All her swimwear was bought from here. I liked your folks and was ever so sorry to hear about the accident. I've kept up with events via the scandal sheets as best I could. My partner designed and made the ankle bracelet your girlfriend is wearing. When I saw that I knew who you were."Judging by the warmth to my cheeks it wasn't only my sister that went a little red sometimes. Cathy acted as though to the casual observer we were talking about swimwear.
Even as I opened my mouth to speak, the curtain opened and Shauna once again came out, leaving me speechless. Cathy walked over to her and ran a finger over the two side straps holding the bottoms up. Shauna gave a slow turn and once again Cathy waved a hand at my sister's ass. All I could think was... Damn that's hot.
During the journey home, Shauna could see I was distracted. There seemed little point in starting this conversation in the car, so I left it until we got back home, and even then, I waited until we were both sorting curtains and linen before I asked her to sit with me for a moment.
I sat her down and recounted the conversation I had with the shop girl, Cathy. Shauna said nothing right up until I had finished and even then, she just sat and contemplated what I had said. Then she nodded once and left the room, coming back about a half hour later with a bikini in her hand that was very similar to one of the ones we had bought today. Shauna had clearly gone through some of the bags and boxes of clothes now in the garage.
"She spoke the truth, Andrew, judging by the label, every single one of Mom's bikini's came from that shop."
Even though many months had passed, we were both still feeling the echoes of our parents passing. I held onto Shauna that night as the scab tore itself free and those emotions battered against her fragile defenses once again. The warmth of her pussy kept my hip from ever feeling cold. I had a beautiful naked woman in our bed and truly the one person I needed with me right now was my sister. She had to be the center of my life and at least junior had the sense to behave and understand that now wasn't the time.
It was between bouts of sadness my sister had emphasized that she wanted us to move into our new room the next day. The way she worded it told me that she would no longer call it our folks' room. I saw no reason not to, and so over the next day and a half my sister and I put the finishing touches to our room. Once satisfied, Shauna left me alone for a while and came back with a bottle of wine and two glasses.
She spoke before I had a chance to. "Please don't be angry with me, but I would like to celebrate this." She held a glass towards me and lifted hers slightly. "Our new room and our life together."
To her credit she contented herself with the one glass, and I asked her to put her collar and chain away for the next couple of days. My sister and I were still in pain, and I wasn't going to allow the wine to cover for her. Our folks were dead and we mourned the loss of not only our folks, but best friends as well. At moments like these, Shauna felt vulnerable, and keeping her this side of sane and sober was my purpose in life. Shauna, in retaliation, of course, would wander around the house in shorts and bikini tops.
It still took nearly a week before Shauna came back to me. The sadness had gone from her eyes and her smile no longer looked forced. She wrapped her arms around me and gave me a hug, which was met with a thank you. For my part, I still made her wait for another couple of days, for two reasons, really. It was her time of the month and I didn't want Shauna to expect her collar and ankle chain back when her time to grieve our folks had come to an end.
*******
I was still narrowing down and cultivating three of the companies willing to employ me. Since Shauna was doing stuff around the house, I walked into Dad's study to write out a brief history of all the projects I had done at college. Putting pen to paper was still a weakness of mine. Seeing words grow on a screen was one thing, but actually putting words on paper was still something I took the time to do.
Dad kept pens either on top of the desk or the drawer immediately under the top; paper was always in the bottom right hand drawer. I pulled a pile of empty sheets out and I heard a slight thud when I did. That alone caused me to look a little closer and that's when the DVD in a plastic see-through cover came within sight. When I looked closer, this one disc looked different from the rest. The fact that it wasn't with the collection caused me to raise an eyebrow as well.
I placed the disc into the computer; the pause was momentary. Dad was having sex with Mom, and judging by her squeals she was sure enjoying it. I left it running as background while I worked and would pause on occasions to see what they were up to and smile when I did. They were kissing now, a sure sign that both were sated.
Mom got up. I knew her habits, she would go to the bathroom and bring back a washcloth while Dad would turn off the cameras. His hand found the remote and pointed it at the camera. The screen flickered and then continued to record. Dad then put the remote down and I watched as Mom came back in. My smile was real; Dad hadn't realized that he must have missed the stop button.
Mom was now in for the cuddle and Dad just held her so tightly.
It was Dad who broke the peace in the room when he said, "I was talking to John Dennison last night. He was wondering if we were ever going to involve the children."
Mom giggled and held Dad, her head now resting on his chest. "That can't happen. It would kill Andrew."
My smile crumbled. Now my attention was totally on the screen across the room from me. Dad looked down at Mom and waited for eye contact.
Mom continued. "Remember when I said I wanted to test the waters first and managed to persuade Shauna to go topless with me on holiday?"
Dad just nodded and yet said nothing else.
"Well Andy's either a very good actor or he doesn't realize that he's in love with his sister." The shrug of her shoulders meant she hadn't finished. "Mind you, Shauna doesn't realize what her body's been telling her since puberty, and that is that she's in love with him."
Dad pulled Mom out of the cuddle so he could look directly at her. He did that to all of us, and out of instinct, I just knew he was very serious now and totally focused on this conversation.
"Okay, you need to explain that to me. When the Dennison's asked if we were ever going to involved the children in our lifestyle, you were on the side of the Dennison's, and I was the one urging caution. So what's changed?"
Mom moved to a more comfortable position, she sat looking at Dad and crossed her legs. One of her hands seemed to instinctively move to her pussy. Dad's cum was still leaking from it as her fingers moved around her pussy lips and I could hear a faint squishing noise as she played with herself.
"I believe that if both children find out about our lifestyle, Andrew will turn his back on us both. Shauna would get involved because we are, and she would want to see what I see about all of it. But, mark my words, we will lose Andrew forever."
Dad just seemed to stare at Mom. His thought process made it look as if he was about to challenge her, but in fact, throughout our lives Mom had the final say over everything, concerning our health and education. Mom's position on the bed meant she was staring right back at him. She wasn't challenging him in any way. All Mom seemed to be doing was allowing her husband time to process her statement and his own thoughts.
His brow creased as he seemed to pick up on something that I hadn't when he said, "You said both, so Shauna knows?"
Mom smiled and told her husband that Shauna suspected something, but hadn't managed to put a finger on it. While she spoke, her whole face glowed and her fingers dug deeper into her pussy as she frantically rubbed harder. Her cheeks went a pinkish color just as her nipples hardened.
Mom grunted and it was clear she was holding back her orgasm through sheer willpower. "I would love both of them in our lifestyle, just as I know that you would love to sink your dick into your own daughter. But we do it at the cost of losing Andrew and by my best guess, within weeks Shauna will follow him. I'm not willing to do that."
The speed of her fingers on her pussy became a blur now.
"Oh FUCK..."
Dad watched Mom orgasm. Dad was as hard as I had ever seen him on any of the collection we had. He grabbed Mom by the hair and pulled her down onto all fours and moved behind her, pulling her fingers out of her pussy as he did and replaced them with his own. I think the only thing stopping his whole hand disappearing into her pussy was that he hadn't quite pushed hard enough.
Mom screamed out an orgasm that must have reached the attic of the house.
I was still staring at the screen when Shauna said, "Holy shit. What was that all about?"
When I turned in the chair, Shauna was just coming into the office. I stopped the DVD and played it again, fast forwarding it to the part where they talked about us. Shauna sat next to me, open mouthed.
When her thoughts settled, she said, "I swear to you I didn't know about their lifestyle. Yes, I remember Mom talking about going topless for the first day of our holiday, but she told me it would be a giggle and a way to watch both of you two being awkward."
"But you and Mom were topless as often as you could get away with it during the whole holiday?"
"So what? What Mom said was true. You both did squirm, and I will admit that my pussy sure got a buzz out of the fact that Mom and I could make the men in our family hard. But that doesn't mean I knew of this lifestyle."
My sister pulled me out of the chair and back into the dayroom. I sat on the couch and she dropped right onto my lap, her arms around my neck and her own head resting on my shoulder.
Her words were toned down since she was so close to my ear. "I don't know why Mom thought I knew; I didn't and wouldn't have."
Shauna paused for a moment before she said. "Look Andrew, both our folks had taken great lengths in us not knowing about them doing the dirty with each other and others. Just look at that room in the cellar; that would have cost Dad a packet to get built."
Something else seemed to have occurred to my sister when she grinned almost to herself and then added. "We know some of the folks on those DVD's. Not all of them, but the one consistent was that throughout it all they were all the same faces. It was almost a little social club, this was their life, Andy, and they took great lengths to keep it secret, even limiting who they included in it."
It was then her eyes bored into me.
"I've known for some time that the only man I planned to get naked for ever again is the man I'm sitting on. Andy, you've already voiced your opinion of ever joining their form of lifestyle, and I would never mess this up. So get used to it baby brother: I'm yours, and I ain't budging."
My unease as to why that disc wasn't with the others stayed with me for a day or so, then life as always took over and I forgot about it.
*******
We had tickets for the opera one night, and I had expected her period to be finished the day before. It was only when I asked her outright that she stiffened slightly and smiled when she nodded her head in acknowledgment that it had, indeed. When I handed her a pen and pointed towards the wall calendar, she got the message really quickly, sat at the kitchen table and added little stars to the days her cycle was due, and even a little star and a question mark a day before and after just in case.
Status Power Mingguan
-- Peringkat
Power 
-- Power
stone