Bab 484: 484. Poop Machine
Alexander appeared in Rukongai. He looked at all the people, busying themselves with their work. It was weird how even after dying their souls could not be set free. They were still stuck with the same mindset and jobs as the real world. It wouldn't be wrong to say that their current situation was even more pitiful than in the real world. At least they had control of their destiny in the real world, in here, they were at the mercy of Shinigami.
He then used his eye of judgment. All of the souls living in Rukongai, which numbered nearly a million, got judged. They were then sent to the afterlife from where they would be sent to hell, heaven, or the cycle of reincarnation.
Most kids went to heaven. Lots of people from bad districts went to reincarnation and many from the front and wealthy districts went to hell as they exploited the poor by controlling the water supply and selling it at an exorbitant price which made them a bigger sinner.
Soon, the whole Rukongai started getting emptier. After a while, Iroh and Dobby came to him with sad faces.
"Why the long faces?" Alexander asked.
"I liked my shop and making Ramen," Dobby said.
"I enjoyed sharing my love for tea," Iroh added.
"It's all right, this is what I should do. Also, we have a pretty huge population in Phixheim. You should run your shops there instead." Alexander suggested.
"Haha, I already have my tea shop there," Iroh revealed.
Alexander and Dobby looked at him in surprise, "Woah, you turned out to be a capitalist it seems,"
"No no... I am just spreading some tea love. Besides, I get to hear interesting stories. There is this guy named Arnold, he tells me the most entertaining ones about the apocalyptic world." Iroh said.
"Arnold is our Droid army command...."
*BOOOM*
They heard a loud explosion coming from the Seireitei.
"What happened now? Let's head there fast," Alexander quickly flew towards the central Soul Society.
...
Yhawch had come to Soul Society with his small army. It was really small as there were just 20 Quincies. But they were still very powerful.
He didn't give the shinigami any chance to gather themselves and started bombarding over the many houses of Captains of Gotei 13. He knew that the captains were the main powerhouses of Gotei 13 and that without them there would be no such organization.
In a matter of seconds, he had killed 6 out of 13 captains and their entire divisions. Yhwach had the support of Pernida Parnkgjas so it made his attack much stronger.
The remaining ones included Yamamoto, Retsu Unohana, Byakuya Kuchiki, Kenpachi Zaraki, Juushiro Ukitake, Toushirou Hitsugaya, and Sajin Komamura.
Pernida Parnkgjas alone went after 4 Captains while 10 elite Quincies went after the remaining 2 captains. The rest of the Quincies dealt with the other Shinigami.
The elite Quincies were supposed to be as strong as a normal Captain so even this small force was very overwhelming for all.
Yhawch meanwhile went after the strongest, Yamamoto. Yhawch was very careful this time. The last time he fought the old man he couldn't kill him.
"It is time for you to retire, old fool. I know how weak you have grown. Your inability to exploit others to stay at a higher position has made you weak. Tell me, what have you done to my subordinates, or I won't stop unless I have completely destroyed the soul society," Yhwach threatened.
"I do not know," Yamamoto replied honestly.
"So be it, Sankt Bogen: Heilig Pfeil" A huge bow made of energy materialized near him. Soon, arrows made of Reishi materialized on it. He fired them in rapid succession as a continuous barrage, which could destroy an adversary as durable as Captain-Commander Yamamoto.
*BOOM* *BOOM*
Soon Yamamoto found himself cornered. He couldn't do anything to stop this bombardment. At most he was able to not get hurt. He had no other choice but to use his most powerful ability.
"Zanka no Tachi, Kita: Tenchi Kaijin"
Yamamoto cut the arrows and appeared beside Yhwach. He immediately slashed at him.
*SLASH*
AS a result, Yhwach gets cut in half. It shocked Yamamoto as he knew that Yhwach was not this weak. The only person after Alexander who could face his Bankai was Yhwach.
"Yhwach-sama, forgive me," the dying Yhwach said.
Yamamoto's eyes widened when he realized that this was an imposter. With a rare fit of anger, he shouted, "WHO ARE YOU?"
*ZIP*
Before he received an answer, there was a large explosion distantly behind him. Looking back, Yamamoto realizes that the First Division barracks were in flames. He voiced his concern for his Third Seat Officer.
In addition, the real Yhwach appears behind him with Reishi Broadsword. Before Yamamoto could react, Yhwach slashed at him, bisecting him in half. From one side of his shoulder to the other side of his waist.
But Yamamoto was not someone easy to die. Even when half of his body was falling he held on to Yhwach's robes.
But Yhwach was far too stronger than Yamamoto.
Yhwach pushed him aside and mocked him. "Yamamoto, your attempts to stop me, even in death, are meaningless."
*BAM*
He stepped on the head of Yamamoto.
"You know, I never thought of you as my competition due to your reluctance to use any means to become powerful. You lost to me because you were trying to shoulder the burden of protecting both Soul Society and the real world alone. Honestly, the original Gotei 13 was a group to be feared when you did anything it took to achieve victory. But now, you are WEAK AND DEAD, and soon the soul society will die too!" He pressed the head of Yamamoto hard.
He materialized his bow and prepared to shoot thousands of arrows to obliterate the body of Yamamoto.
*BOOM*
*CLANK*
Yhwach was stopped by a bullet. He looked behind in anger. "WHO DARED TO INTERRUPT ME!"
Facing Yhwach was a shinigami in a dress never seen before. He was wearing a straw hat and a weird skin-tight suit.
"You totally smushed Yamamoto's head. You are pretty emo too, are you sure you are not a high school teenager?" the Shinigami said.
Yhwach had no recollection of this Shinigami so he took him as a new recruit. Seeing that the new recruit was coming towards him running with his sword that looked too weird to describe, he smirked.
Just as Shinigami's sword was about to strike Yhwach, Yhwach struck back.
*BAM*
In a swift strike with his Reishi Broadsword, he cut the legs of the Shinigami.
The shinigami was then kneeling before him soon after.
"Who are you? At least I will remember you for being brave even when you already knew I am The Almighty." Yhwach asked him.
The Shinigami looked at him with a face hidden behind the suit. He lifted his right hand as if he was about to snap his finger. "And... I... Am... Captain Delicious Pants,"
"DIEEE," Infuriated Yhwach slashed the Shinigami in half. But to his utmost shock, he was still hearing the voice.
"Ah man, I wish I had that gauntlet. It would have been so awesome. Well, I guess I'll go old school. Now, only if I could just regenerate fast enough,"
In front of Yhwach, the half-cut body of the Shinigami was joining itself in a very ugly fashion. He could see all the internals of the Shinigami right by his feet.
He finally asked, "WHAT ARE YOU?!"
"Heh, glad you asked, I thought it would be a lonely boring evening. Well, let me start from the start. Countless years ago, in a small village in the world's most peaceful and greatest country, Canada. A poop machine was born to Slade Wilson and Hailey Wilson. The baby was very extraordinary, he pooped 12 times a day. He didn't learn potty training till he was *POOF*"
"Oh, CRAP, he still hasn't learned it."
"YOU DISGUSTING MONGREL!" Yhwach shouted and lifted his sword to cut him.
"WAIT! If you cut me now you will see a lot of poop. And by a lot, I mean A LOOOOOOOOOOOOO..."
[You can see Yhwach, Yamamoto and Captain Delicious Pants on my Discord - https://discord.gg/DgHkrAn OR see them on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/mister_immortal_novel]
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