Bab 30: WHO REALLY ARE YOU

Ning Shufen slowly opened her eyes, her head ached a little bit. Shufen sat and stared at her hands. She was holding the phoenix hair pin tightly, she was confused. She clearly left it, but now it was in her hands.

'How the hell did I get here?'

The last thing she remembered was fainting, however not in the bamboo bed. There was even some new clothes and food. And a letter at the top of her clothes. Her mouth twitched. Why can't that person meet her and do some talk, not through letters. She knew that it was her master, the owner of this place was the one who left it on her side and left before she woke up.

'I hope you understand. I would never leave your side'

That was the letter that he left. Why? Does he know her? From what she remembered he never knew her. But still held her and kept her in his heart. Who really are you?

By any chance were you reincarnated too?

Why does she feel like he knew her all along?

Why was he kind to her? And also why does he know that she will go here?

Ning Shufen closed her eyes and meditated. She felt her raging spiritual energy inside her body. The last time she check she was just in first stage but now she was at the second stage! Ning Shufen broke through!

She had broke through!! The sad melody and this unknown space helped her to breakthrough. After remembering the pain she had experienced because of the sad melody, she grimaced. It was frightening to experience! She didn't like it even a bit. She loathe it! Still she will experience it in her every break through, and it abhor thinking about how painful it is every time she break through.

Ning Shufen stared at the nothingness. Her mind was now thinking about her past and her life. Every pain and sorrow. Her line of thoughts was making her dizzy and uncomfortable. her mind was just wondering as she was tired and she doesn't want to move even an inch.

Ning Shufen was now thinking if she wasn't reincarnated, will her soul stay at the mortal world and seek for justice? Thinking about it, she felt angry. She had too many enemies and too many people who wanted to kill her in her past life. And also her standing at the Ning Family was also weird, her parents loathe her, almost every servant despise her and wished that she will just die. She wanted them to drown in despair like she did.

She wanted to torture them and tear their skin and pluck their eyeballs but it was all just in her mind, it's not like she could do it. She just hope to live a normal life and her family safe. Ning Shufen wasn't greedy about power nor money.

Her experience in the past told her not to trust easily but not completely close your self. Friends won't stay if you are in trouble. Family won't too, she saw it for so many times and it made her feel sick. A family must be one, love and respect each other. Not kill each other when it comes to money and power. Is money more important than love? Is it more important than life?

Ning Shufen's mind was a mess, her thoughts was also confusing. It was just too messed up and puzzling. With the way she thinks now it was impossible for her to resume cultivating. Shufen stood up and went to the big tree, such a beautiful sight to see. The deep lake was also making it more beautiful.

Shufen sighed at the sight, she wanted to be like the tree. Be free and just went with the flow of the wind. And just be itself not even trying to pretend to be someone you will never be. Shine in your own beauty.

Can she be beautiful like the tree?

Can she be free?

Free from the past?

Free from all the pain and sorrow?

Can she have a deeper sleep without the nightmares?

Will it come? It may eventually come.

Because no matter how hard she try to resist, it was useless! No matter how hard it is.

As Ning Shufen walked, Another sad melody was played. She tried to sense if someone was there with her but there's no one there, it was only her and the things inside the unknown space.

'Tell me anything if you are sad'

Someone was singing!

'Don't forget about me,

I still remember everything about you,

Would you come back to me and forgive me'

It was a man's voice and he sounded so sad.

'I don't know how to wait,

And may have annoyed you, I'm sorry

I am also confused, Ohh

Sometimes you push me away,

And sometimes you pull me to you'

It was familiar but Shufen can't put her finger into it. The voice was also making her feel the pain, the sorrow that he was feeling.

'You make me laugh and cry,

You look so amazing, smiling.

And now that you don't remember me

hunts me down~

I hated to see you smiling without me~

I hated it but remembering you don't want me,

I shall say goodbye and leave you,

I shall say goodbye, Maybe at that time you'll forgive me.'

The voice was getting more and more painful to listen. He sounded so good but his voice was full of emotions. It was full of grief like he lost something. Someone. Someone who was important to him. Someone who meant the world to him, someone who was worth sacrificing himself. Someone he cared for all his life, Someone who this song was dedicated.

Someone who can make him kneel in just a word, Someone who can decide for his life.

And someone who made him feel this sorrow. Someone who she hates because he was feeling so sad. So lonely. But why does she want to stop feeling sad?

Why does she feel suffocated?