Bab 1: *Phew* atleast I started
"Sh*t, how should I start writing?"
"Who the hell said that first impression is the best impression?", mumbled 'Normal' feeling slightly angry due to not being able to think of any amazing, world shattering, void destroyer starting lines. (1)
"But today atleast I put my a** down on the chair rather than imagining myself to be one of the world's best authors and getting rewards from the whole world for the breathtaking book (imaginative) I wrote.", said Normal seemingly admitting that except imagining he was doing nothing all this while.
"To make things simple how about I start with something like 'EDITED BY PINK' which was used by Divin* B*ast Adventur*s or I can also do some sh*t like '2019, May 19th, Monda*' which was used by CCG as the starting of the novel", Normal was pondering that he pondered over the matter of how should he start his novel because of some shitty guy who said first impression is the best impression.
"But I dare say that no matter how ikemen of a guy someone is, if he says sh*t everytime people will not like him in the long run. So I should write thinking of the long run rather than a breathtaking starting."
"WOW, now that I think of it, if I make my ending sh*tty and the later part of the novel average then I will get positive comments, since readers will think its a shitty chapter but it will come out to be an average one, thus coming on top easily."
"But if I write an above average starting and later on, if the chapter turns out to be average then people will think it's a bad novel due to the high expectations for it."
'Hell yeah, I should be a detective solving homicidal cases rather than thinking of how to start the chapter.', thought Normal smugly due to his 'trick' of making people believe that his novel is good.
"But now that I have decided that I should have a sh*tty starting, what should I write?", Normal fell into deep thought again, this time thinking of a shitty starting.
The life really can be expected sometimes, when Normal wanted to write an awesome starting all he could think of was sh*ts related to life, and now when Normal wants to write a sh*tty starting all he can think of is still sh*ts related to life.
After 1 minute and 24 seconds later...
"Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, no, no I think Pluto comes next, no wait there is also Neptune. Let's just check it online, it will freshen up my mind and I may even find a 'sh*tty' ending by chance.", thought Normal.
After 6 hours 54 minutes and unknown seconds later...
"Binge watching sure is the best thing, and it has been a really long time since I watched D*g*mon. Now lets go to sleep its already been midnight by now.", Normal told himself seemingly satisfied with the binge watching of D*g*mon.
While closing tabs he saw that 'inkstone' is written on some tab located at the cornermost part of his moniter, he becames devasted as he realised how strong his resolve is.
5 minutes, he thought it would not take more than 5 minutes to check what is the order of the planets in the solar system, but except that he searched everything and finally got 'lured' by D*g*mon.
Normal decided to the first thing which he will do in the morning will be to write up a chapter, but to have a good night's sleep, he said to himself, "Atleast I sat on the chair and decided that I should have a shitty starting."
"*Phew* atleast I started."
(1) The author is named 'Normal' because I do not believe that he have some superpower or is the reincarnation of some immortal expert. I believe that he is a normal guy with just some above average dreams.
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