So after the whole incident where I suspected that I killed the dude. I was contemplating on whether or not I should leave him on the floor. I decided that I shouldn't because I was a good soul, that and I didn't want him to kill me when he woke up and saw that I left him on the floor. So I tried lifting him after summoning the inner Wonder Woman in me. And let me tell you something, it wasn't easy. He probably weighed 8 times my weight. I first tried to lift him and then accidentally ended up on him. Then the Einstein in me woke up. Bingo! All I have to do is pull him till the couch and lift him up. Damn Harper you on a roll today!
"He owes me big time." I tell myself.
THUD.
I turn back to see that I may have accidentally hit his head against the coffee table. I hear him groan and mumble something under his breath before passing out again. Opps! That's gonna bruise up in the morning. I totally didn't mean to do that. But some part of me felt like he deserved it.
So I lift the leg first and then the upper body. It went as planned. I was so proud of myself.
"They told me everybody's 15 minutes in a different time zone
And since I have it at the mome-"
I was startled by the song. Wait is that his phone? Pfft that's his ringtone? Totally wouldn't have guessed that. Oh fuck! Wait that's my alarm...! But it isn't 7 yet is it? I look out to see the artistic morning sun painting the dark sky. The shades of orange and pink merges to produce the most beautiful wake up call. The sparkling diamonds replaced by the rays of lights. It was beautiful. Well for exactly three minutes. After that I was pulled face first into the sofa where Mr. Julio was sleeping peacefully. I try wiggling but then he uses his legs to trap me in between.
Okay Harper. Don't freak. It isn't like you haven't ever slept on the same bed with a half-naked dude before. You have done it before. At least you have seen people do it in movies. It's almost the same thing. My hand comes in contact with his pecs. If he was awake, he could have sued me for sexual harassment because if someone was looking at this scene unfold, it would look like I was groping his non-existent boobs. Anyways, I try pushing myself up. Curse you Harper for missing gym classes. UGH! I accidentally fall back on him, which caused him to loosen his hold on me. I took this opportunity. I put my legs on either side of him to get up. I look at the window for a brief second to see my neighbor looking straight at me. Into the house. Me on top of him. Straddling him. Oh Klaus Carmelo!! This is not good.
LEMME tell you a bit about my neighbor. She is 80 years old, she reminds me of Roz from Monster INC. The old green lady who always says "I'm watching you, Wazowski." She lives with 3 cats. All three of them hate me for absolutely no reason. When I moved into this shitty apartment. I tried to offer her homemade lasagna. She looked at me, frowned, took the lasagna from my hand and banged the door on my face. I tried to make peace with her but the old hag just doesn't like me. And did I mention that she was the owner of this building and I may be a little short on rent. Not always! Rarely, Okay fine! Most of the time. There you go that's the whole story. Okay I missed an important part. She reports to my mom, I think. It is actually very suspicious cuz my mom knows everything that happens in my house. Even the parts I don't tell her. Now the reason she reports to my mom? That's a story for another time.
Back to the present. She looks at me. She looks down at Mr. Julio. Picture this. Me on top of a man who is not wearing a shirt. Last night was filled with the dude groaning. She looks at me and gives me a very disappointing nod. I try to hide myself in my Oversized T-shirt. I look down to see that it was missing. I was in my bra and panties. I recall last night's incident. I remember taking it off to stop his bleeding.This does not help my situation. I look at her and start mouthing that it wasn't what she thought it was. She looks at me one last time before walking away. One of her cats comes to the window and I swear that it gave me a disappointing nod before it gave me a smirk like it knew I was gonna be in trouble later. How I wish I could go back in time. So ladies and gentlemen, it's safe to say that I'm screwed. Ugh screw you Mr. Julio. Couldn't you have walked into Old Roz's house? I'm sure she would have loved her some eye candy.
I walk to my room. I lie down on my bed for a few minutes. That was one long night. I felt myself getting drowsy. I felt my eyes shut before darkness consumed me.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
"You got a fast car
I want a ticket to anywhere
Maybe we make a deal"
I wake up covered in sweat. Man last night's dream was a fucking nightmare. There was dude who was stabbed. Green old hag was pulling my toes and eating them. Shudders. Never again. I look at my phone to see who was calling me.
You've got three voicemails from Poopsicle.
I wonder why he called me. I click on one of the voice messages.
"HEY TIGER! I just wanted to wish you good luck and I know you'll ace your interview. IF you don't. We'll track down the CEO and give him a piece of my mind or I could always arrest the dude. Or I can kick his butt for you. Perks of having your best friend being a servant of the law! CALL ME AFTER YOU MADE THAT INTERVIEW YOUR BITCH! also I need to tell you all about my da-"
What now? Interview? TODAY!!! Holy mother of flying doughnuts! I completely forgot and why didn't my alarm ring? AHH! Okay you've got this Harper. You got through Law University. You can do this! I walk to my closet. Pull out the only thing I can find. Turned out to be a white button up shirt and a pink pencil skirt with subtle floral print on it. I pull out a pair of nude heels. I take my towel run to the bathroom to have a quick shower and brush my teeth while I'm in there.
Then i was suddenly met with an unknown figure hovering over the bathroom sink. I scream. He scream. We both scream.
"What the fu-"
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY BATHROOM?" I shout. Trying to shield my virgin eyes from what was in front of me. There he was standing in his birthday suit. Well he did have his boxers but to me it was porn. It was as if he was sculpted. I didn't have a good look last night because of the lack of light but damn, if I wasn't late to my interview. I would have kidnapped the dude and locked him in my room and just looked at him. And I wonder why you don't have a boyfriend Harper. Shut up brain, I meant that in the most non creepy way as possible. Oh Shit interview, half naked dude, FOCUS!
I look at him.
"Who are you? Why are you in my house? What are you doing? AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD CAN YOU PUT ON SOME CLOTHES? You have 10 seconds before I call the police. Starting now." Woah there missy? Where you getting the confidence from?
"I can't explain right now. I'm sorry for the inconvenience." He replies buttoning up his shirt. I can see the blood stains on the shirt.
"Look Mr. Julio, I deserve an explanation because last night's incident is probably gonna cost me my job. Well that is if I miss my interview. SO you better tell me what happened or I will make your life a living hell. Don't mess with Harper." I reply with a stern look on my face.
"Are you threatening me, Spongebob? You should know that I don't respond well to threats. You can try making my life a living hell but I can assure you sweetheart, you will fail." With every word he moved a step forward and I moved one step backwards until my back hit the bathroom door.
"Now if you value your life, I suggest you move out of the way and forget that you ever met me." He said looking me in the eye. He did not blink and he looked like he meant every word. I was holding on to my towel for my dear life. He shrugs his blazer on covering his stained shirt
You should have killed him when you had the chance Harper.
He was adjusting his cuff link. "Just so you know I don't make empty threats. I suggest you move out before I make you." He glared at me. He moved his arm towards me and I shut my eyes tight hoping that he wasn't a serial killer. Um Mister Guardian Angel, if you exist, now is the time to intervene. I was sending out silent prayers to every celestial being I could think off. I was waiting for his hand to wrap around my neck and strangle me. If this is my reward for being a nice person WELL I DON'T LIKE IT!!
I then started to move. For a minute I thought my guardian angel had finally woken up and was saving me from the beast in front of me. I opened my eyes just a little in hopes to see the fight unfold.
Boy was I wrong. Mr. Julio had somehow found the bathroom handle and was opening the door. Even though I was against the door. He opened it like it was nothing. Like I weighed nothing. Just so you know, I don't weigh nothing, I weigh something alright. A little more than something.
With that he walked out of the bathroom like he owned the place. His back against me. I was standing against the wall trying to understand what had happen because the incident left me flabbergasted. Although the guy almost died the night before, he looked like he just walked out of the Vogue Photo-shoot. He paused for a brief second. He looked around and shook his head.
Obviously looking at the messy place I live in. It's not my fault everyone is not born with a silver spoon in their mouth. He found the door, which wasn't really hard to do because there wasn't a lot of space in the lounge area. There were four doors, the bathroom, the bedrooms and the main door. He put his hand on the knob and before he opened the door he said
"You should really learn the art of locking doors."
With that he walked out of the door.