Bab 23: Secret admirer

How odd it was that we, human never wanted to show ourselves a bad person. Why, I still couldn't understand that, but had a hunch though, probably it was a blurry image of unknown wonders, who knows. Hmm, hmmm, hmmmm, that sound of my last night girlfriend was muddling my thoughts of philosophy about human righteousness. Oh, where was I, oh yes, I was thinking about human nature and their acceptance of self realisation. I had no idea or never actually counted how many human I had known so far. I was here to enjoy a party with my clients where I lost my innocent pride and then staying with a girl who I didn't, even asked the age. Beautiful girl indeed, attractive, sexy and smart, party lover but not a drinker. She was on her ornamental dress, I never seen such a dress in my life. Every flesh of her body could be seen but the disappointing part was diamonds and pearls covering the best parts of the body. She was looking stunning in one words, or why else I had lost my innocent pride, that's not naturally moved. She was reminded me a girl that I knew from my hometown. She was my first love. Soft spoken, cute, natural seductress to me, homie and very disciplined lady. I didn't know why but I always attracted to her. Her presence made me feel good about being a man. Whenever I was near her, some kind of a calming vibe with wildness, always like humming out from her soul. I was in love with her that's for sure but I never had the chance to say it. She was a little bit older than me, but it never stopped me to fall for her. I was an invisible handyman of her. Whenever she needed anything, I helped her out but she never known that. On time, she was in love with a man who was a very bad guy as I saw, he was using her clearly like a money, but she was madly in love with him, whereas I was the standing witness feeling bad about her. He was her teen love that went bad, she loved him on her own, got married with him, helped every single person literally as far as I knew. Whence he was on the top of his career as a businessman which was too, given by her, he divorced her. She was crazy about children. When she got married, I thought that she might get dozens of them but her dreams about getting happy marriage life was ruined by that greedy lunatic man. He used everything of her, mind, body, house, money, relatives, completely everything. Sometimes I really wished hard to kill him by my mind or curse or broke his arms or legs, so he couldn't leave her on her own. After marrying her, he never stood still on the house, always busy with works, no time to even talked or gave her a time, years after years, he was travelling abroad for business and he was a successful businessman but it never changed her situation, she was still the same, lonely married woman with no kids, no money to buy luxury of life. Her will of living was fading, my first crush was dying infront of me but I couldn't do anything but to watch her beautiful smile whenever he came back home to her. I couldn't resist the temptation of seeing her smile but he never loved the fact that he returned to her whenever he needed money. He never treated her right, always neglected her every needs, rudely behaved man, he even couldn't gave her any children. I thought at first, he might be an impotent then he divorced her and married her younger cousin. They got married at the same place where she got married and when they had their first born child, that cousin came to her to show their first born baby. When she refused to see the child, he got angry because of his second wife was crying then he slapped her for arguing about it and took her only diamond ring from her hand which was of her great grandmother who gave it to her. He took it as a gift of his wedding and first born child. She was crying over and over but not a single man there, man enough to do anything for her. She was left alone in that house childless, no money or husband or even lover then oneday that house was on fire. After 2 AM that fire was caught, everything turned into ashes before anyone understood it or helped her out, there was nothing of her to be saved. Police founded out that after her death the house was going to be inherited by her husband. So, we thought it might be him but he was then on his business tour. As cowardly man as I was, I couldn't do anything for my first love. I couldn't heal her emotional fractures. I tried my best to make her to love me but she refused my every invitations. I gave her whatever possible things I could, until that night. I was sobbing that night, little drunk with my girl. I woke up with the people's roar, screaming out loud, some where crying and praying for her, the fire was uncontrollable then, we couldn't do anything but to rely on fire brigade. However, later I left the town and accidentally joined in the town where her ex husband was living happily with his second wife. I took a job in his office which was also coincidental then one shiny bright, happy morning, he founded out choked to death and had a heart attack. No one knew what was happened. He had a late night work and the next day he was on the floor with homemade dinner all over his face. He was eating food made by his wife when he got choked, then probably too much manly pressure made him to cause a heart attack. My eyes were open wide, lost in the bush of my latest enjoyment, rememorized the past recall when I was hidden the sigh of my failure to pleasure my most precious seductress while I was her only secret admirer.