Bab 3: Confined..
Waiting.
Waiting.
For two weeks, I waited for Natasha and my sister, but they never showed.
I waited for a sign, anything that could have told me why it was taking so long. What if something happened to them? What if they never were coming in the first place..?
What if Natasha lied, and decided not to tell Steve about my whereabouts?
Questions ran through my mind as I sat at the small dining table, staring at the floor with a stressed and tired face.
A few hours passed and I looked at the clock. 8:00pm, it read. I sighed, getting up and laying down on my bed. I began to wonder if this even was a good idea...maybe I shouldn't have asked for Natasha to bring Rebecca here.
On top of that all of us could be in danger, what if H.Y.D.R.A found us and then they turned me back into the Winter Soldier? What if I hurt them..? I closed my eyes, trying to get the thoughts out of my head, when suddenly I heard a knock at the door.
I stood up wearily and I looked through the small hole that was on the door,seeing Natasha with an old woman. I gave a breath of relief as I opened the door. "I was beginning to think you wouldn't come."
Natasha and Rebecca walked inside,Rebecca looked at me for a moment, confused but then, she looked at me with pity. "Can you wait outside?" The old woman asked, looking at Natasha.
She nodded. "If you need me let me know." She said before walking outside.
I looked at Rebecca and bit my lip. "I'm sorry I didn't come back." I spoke softly, remembering the flashback I had at the hospital. Promising my little sister I would return..but I never did. "I broke my promise.."
Rebecca held my hand. "You didn't break your promise. Look, now we're together right? That's all that matters." She stayed quiet for a moment. "You were always the strongest of all of us. It shows now, you went through all this pain but you kept fighting." She gave a small smile.
I wanted to tell her how wrong she was,but I didn't want to argue. I just nodded,my face showed no expression,it became quiet for a while,the two of us unsure of what to say until finally Rebecca broke the silence.
"How have you been holding up?" She asked,looking around the apartment.
"I've been doing alright I guess. Only thing that has me confused is all the technology stuff,computers,phones, all that stuff is weird but I've been getting better." I lied, I actually haven't been improving on my memory and everything that happened to me back then is all a blur.
However,what I said about technology was very true. I don't think I'll ever be able to figure out how that works. With computers there's so many buttons, how can you memorize what does what? Oh,and don't even get me started with phones.
Rebecca laughed softly, "Yeah..you'll get through it though. I wanted to ask you..why don't you come where I am with Steve and Natasha. Steve wants to see you-"
I shook my head,silencing her. "No. I'm sorry. I can't see Steve, not yet. I'm not ready to go out there, besides how can Steve help me? I'm dangerous Rebecca." I pulled my hand away from hers,feeling frustrated. "I'm sorry.."
I gave a deep sigh. Rebecca coming here was supposed to help me...I should be having some sort of flashback right?
But it wasn't. It wasn't working. All of this could've been avoided..I could've escaped H.Y.D.R.A. I could have fought harder...but I was weak. I gave up my chance at a better life because it would be 'to hard'. God, I hated myself.
"Then why did you want me to come?" She asked,clearly not pleased with my answer.
"I...I don't know.." I lied again. "I can't remember anything. It pisses me off. I thought seeing you would trigger something,anything but no. My mind is just blank." I scoffed,why was this so frustrating? Why did I even want her to come? Now both of us could be in danger, including Natasha. "This was a waste of time." I mumbled. "You should go."
"James..don't push me away. I can help-" she protested.
"No. Just go." I snapped, opening the door to find Natasha looking at me confused. I didn't want this to lead to something bad.
"Is everything okay?" She asked,a concerned expression on her face.
"Yeah..thank you for everything. You guys need to go now,it's not safe." I spoke quickly,wanting them to leave.
Natasha gave me a look of sympathy and walked away and as quick as they came,Rebecca and Natasha were gone.
I sat down on the cold, tile floor and took a deep breath,telling myself that it was better for them to go. That it would be better if I never saw them again. Everyone would be safer that way.
Days passed and I began to feel a bit guilty about making them leave. I had been having nightmares a lot lately,it got to a point that I was scared to fall asleep. I was eating some fruit I had bought from the local market when I heard a knock. I stood up,opening the door, to my surprise it was Natasha and she seemed to be alone.
She looked at me like she didn't recognize at all. "Jesus Barnes you look like crap." She blurted out.
I crossed my arms. "What are you doing here?"
"Your lovely sister told Steve about you." She sighed. "After a few hours I convinced him not to come after you.."
"And?" I asked,as I kept my gaze on her my mind was having a battle almost. One side was almost happy she was here but the other was furious since it was dangerous for her to be around me.
"But...he said the only way he would be okay with it was if someone was with you..someone to help you until you were better." She explained.
I scoffed. "Well Steve isn't the boss of me first of all. And second I'm a grown man I don't need anyone looking after me." I snapped.
"Yeah a man who needs help. A man who is broken. A man who doesn't know who he is. If you won't do it for Steve do it for me. You looked better when you were with H.Y.D.R.A. than you do now." She crossed her arms. "Let me stay with you just for a week and if you still don't want me here then I'll leave."
I had to think about that,there were good things, I wouldn't be alone now but there was still the danger of me hurting people. I gave a deep sigh before making eye contact with her. "One week. Then your out of here." I demanded.
"Deal."
Status Power Mingguan
-- Peringkat
Power 
-- Power
stone